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	<title>Bill Cammack &#187; mistake</title>
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		<title>Bad Decisions / Rolling Mistakes</title>
		<link>http://billcammack.com/2009/06/29/bad-decisions-rolling-mistakes/</link>
		<comments>http://billcammack.com/2009/06/29/bad-decisions-rolling-mistakes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:55:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Cammack</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[So, I&#8217;m talking to this fun and attractive young lady the other day while I&#8217;m hanging out with some friends. I&#8217;m not going to mention her name (not that I ever do, haha) because she actively hides from Social Media, but let&#8217;s say she&#8217;s &#8220;an accountant&#8221;. So, off the bat, we don&#8217;t seem very similar [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div name="googleone_share_1" style="position:relative;z-index:5;clear:right; float: right; margin-right: 10px; margin-top:10px;"><g:plusone size="tall" count="1" href="http://billcammack.com/2009/06/29/bad-decisions-rolling-mistakes/"></g:plusone></div><p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/billcammack/2858911675/" title="Bill Cammack - Channeling What Women Want! by Bill Cammack, on Flickr" rel="me"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/2858911675_83b109b8ef_m.jpg" width="240" height="165" alt="Bill Cammack - Channeling What Women Want!" /></a>So, I&#8217;m talking to this fun and attractive young lady the other day while I&#8217;m hanging out with some friends.  I&#8217;m not going to mention her name (not that I ever do, haha) because she actively hides from Social Media, but let&#8217;s say she&#8217;s &#8220;an accountant&#8221;.</p>
<p>So, off the bat, we don&#8217;t seem very similar as far as dating goes, but she&#8217;s a pleasant person and nice to look at, so I don&#8217;t mind chatting her up for a while&#8230; <span id="more-5440"></span></p>
<p>At some point, the party moves to another location, at which point she was heading home and the rest of us were heading out to party some more.  I was already WAAAAAAY over my time limit to determine whether I was gonna kick it with her or not, so I had decided that I wasn&#8217;t going to request contact information from her and if she wanted to get in touch with me, she knew to Google me or she knew we had mutual acquaintances and could find me through them.</p>
<p>Now that I&#8217;m writing this, I realize that this was actually a VERY important component of the bad decision I ended up making.  I had gone over this scenario lots of times between when it happened and today and had neglected to rewind far enough back to the point where I had already written her off as far as tonight.  That doesn&#8217;t mean my decision was any less poor, haha.. Just that I understand now why I went the route I did. :D</p>
<p>So&#8230; hmm&#8230; ok.. In thinking about the rewind some  more, and considering my mindset about her by the time we left that party, I now realize how I got in the situation I got in.  Before just now, I had been asking myself &#8220;How in the HELL did you end up walking with her AND some other guys instead of just HER?&#8221;</p>
<p>So when we were leaving place #1, I was going to be heading to place #2 and she was going to be heading to the subway to go home.  This is where I made error #1 and told her I&#8217;d be right outside while I went to see if these other chicks wanted to come with.</p>
<p>Technically, that wasn&#8217;t an error, because I thought she was going home, which would have meant I would have been showing up at place #2 without entertainment in-hand, which is never a good idea. :D  However, in being efficient about keeping my night going as far as entertainment, I wrote her off as past tense even though she was actually physically still right there where I was.  I was seeing her as if she had already gotten on the subway, so I started interacting with her as if she were already gone.  I was in some kind of &#8220;Nice to meet you, see you around the scene&#8221; endgame mode, when I should have been in a &#8220;This person that you&#8217;ve already had fun with is still here with you until she actually leaves&#8221; mode.</p>
<p>So the other chicks aren&#8217;t ready to leave yet, so I tell them where they&#8217;re going and then go upstairs to tell the accountant good-bye.  She&#8217;s ready to leave on the spot, and if she had, I wouldn&#8217;t have thought about ANY of this stuff. :)  She decides to walk to a subway station that&#8217;s in the same direction I&#8217;m heading to the next party, so we&#8217;re walking and talking&#8230;</p>
<p>However, due to blunder #1, my not leaving the place WITH her, we&#8217;ve now achieved two more people that are walking with us.  Two guys.  This is where oversight/error #2 comes in.  Since I had already considered her as having left, it wasn&#8217;t a big deal that these guys were walking with us.  One of them, I knew already, and the other, I was just meeting for the first time right there.  The problem is that when you add other people into the mix, you can&#8217;t really talk about what you SHOULD be talking about with a gal.  You talk about watered-down stuff or entirely different topics so as not to have your and her business &#8220;in the street&#8221;.  I wasn&#8217;t worried about this, though, because she was already gone as far as I was concerned, and I was just escorting her to the subway.</p>
<p>The turning point in the situation was that she decided NOT to go to the subway and disappear from my life forever, but instead to continue on with the three of us to the party that we were going to.  I was glad that she was going to keep hanging out with us, but I hadn&#8217;t considered what I was thinking of her in order to reverse it.  In other words, I was still treating her like she was immediately leaving.</p>
<p>So my lack of paying attention to the present and instead focusing on an envisioned future (without her in it) led to this rolling mistake.  I should have left the place with her.  I should have walked with her by myself.  If Woody had gone straight to the police, this would never have happened&#8230;</p>
<p>So error #3 was not recognizing the changeover and not mentally adjusting to the new situation&#8230; Error #4 was letting this guy I&#8217;ve never seen before control the conversation.</p>
<p>So now, I&#8217;m basically an innocent bystander to my own rap.  Granted, it wasn&#8217;t much of a rap, because I wasn&#8217;t rapping TO her and, in fact had already written her off as soon as she had said she was going home.  But what happened was that the new guy was talking to her about something, blah blah blah and then, somehow, he started talking about &#8220;picking up women&#8221;.  I don&#8217;t know how this happened, because I didn&#8217;t care what he was saying, so I wasn&#8217;t listening in on his conversation with her.  It just so happened to be loud enough for me to hear &#8220;picking up&#8221; or &#8220;picked up&#8221; or something like that.</p>
<p>I doubt their conversation had anything to do with me, because when women ask me what I do, I just say <a href="http://billcammack.com/billcammack/">&#8220;I&#8217;m a video editor&#8221;</a>.  I can&#8217;t afford to say &#8220;I write a dating blog&#8221;, because that immediately puts women on guard for what I&#8217;m attempting to do to them. :D  So, as far as I know, the accountant didn&#8217;t think I knew anything about dating at all.</p>
<p>In general, you don&#8217;t want to discuss picking up women&#8230;.. AROUND WOMEN, unless they&#8217;re already in your inner circle.  If these are your homegirls, and they know you do what you do&#8230; Yeah!  Talk about picking up women all day.  Also, you don&#8217;t want to talk about picking up women in front of women with guys who you don&#8217;t know what level they&#8217;re on as far as kickin&#8217; it with chicks.  This is a MAJOR BLUNDER and counts as #5 in this rolling mistake.  If a guy doesn&#8217;t know what he&#8217;s doing, he&#8217;s liable to make some sort of egregious error and subsequently drag YOU down with the sinking ship he just blasted a hole in.  Also, if he DOES know what he&#8217;s doing, he could decide to intentionally sabotage your rap by saying the wrong thing(s) and jacking up her mood.</p>
<p>So, all of these errors led to the one I actually want to talk about&#8230; This guy says &#8220;blah blah blah picking up women&#8221;, and somehow now has incorporated me into their conversation.  I replied something to him, to which he replies something to the effect of:</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>&#8220;That&#8217;s How You Picked *HER* Up?&#8221;</strong></p></blockquote>
<p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;</p>
<p>So now, time slows down as all three people are looking at me.  As soon as he said what he said, I had looked at her face, and her mind was suddenly kicking into gear, thinking about things she hadn&#8217;t thought of before.  She looked like she had seen something shocking, snapped out of it in a few seconds and then looked in my direction, to hear what my response was going to be&#8230;</p>
<p>I guess <em>time</em> didn&#8217;t really slow down, but I was suddenly thinking at hyper-speed, running permutations and potential outcomes.  On the one hand, I wanted to say nothing at all, silently <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taking_the_Fifth" rel="nofollow">pleading The 5th</a>.  The problem with a non-commital response is that it allows her to think anything and everything about the situation.  You&#8217;re giving up control by not attempting to define the situation through words or actions.  On top of that, it looks suspicious that you can&#8217;t answer a simple question.</p>
<p>Except.. It&#8217;s NOT a simple question, because answering a question about HOW I picked her up stipulates to my picking her up in the first place.  I don&#8217;t &#8220;pick women up&#8221;.  I hang out with them.  If they happen to get lucky, good for them. ;)  Therefore, at no point in time had I said anything to the accountant as far as dating her, messing with her or even liking the color or her eyes or how pleasant her personality is.  This is why she had this &#8220;What&#8217;s he talking about, picked her up?&#8221; look on her face right after he said it.  So, I don&#8217;t pick women up in the traditional &#8220;You come here often?&#8221;, &#8220;Did it hurt&#8230; When you fell out of Heaven?&#8221; sense, but at the same time, the fact that I was hanging out with her WAS the pickup.</p>
<p>So I wasn&#8217;t inclined to answer the question about HOW I picked her up, because I would have been admitting to her that I DID pick her up, which defeats the purpose of the style.</p>
<p>OTOH&#8230; I didn&#8217;t want to flat-out deny picking her up either.  That would have given her the impression that I wasn&#8217;t interested.  It also would have been completely disingenuous, because I had been hanging out with at least six other women at party #1 and I left with *her*.  Clearly, by the fact of the circumstances we were currently in at the time of the conversation, I was in the process of some format of a pickup on her.</p>
<p>Tactically, denying the pickup was the way to go.. &#8220;Pick-up?  I didn&#8217;t pick her up!  We&#8217;re just walking down the street together in the middle of the night, even though we never laid eyes on each other before about an hour ago. A heh.. A heh heh *grin*&#8221;.  I could have recovered from that easily, and it would have been a good excuse to pull her to the side later and explain how I really DID like her and WANTED to pick her up, except I denied it so as to keep our business &#8216;out the street&#8217;, yadda yadda.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, while I was running scenarios and permutations in the seconds I had between his question and my inevitable answer, I failed to account for my past-tense view of her and decided that I was bored with the situation and was going to try something off the wall.  Ladies, let this be a lesson to you hahaha.. If a guy does something completely odd, it might not be that he&#8217;s crazy, but that he just doesn&#8217;t care about the outcome and he&#8217;s experimenting. :)</p>
<p>So, without skipping too many beats, I start some BS explanation of &#8220;How I picked her up&#8221;.  Error #6.. Following someone else&#8217;s lead when you&#8217;re kickin&#8217; it with a chick.  It was a HORRIBLE idea.  It was completely ill-advised.  I totally had no idea what was going to happen as I was explaining to a guy I had never met before the process that I used to pick up a girl that I had never met before who was standing right next to me and that I had never picked up in the first place (so far as she knew at the time).  Fellaz&#8230; Do NOT try this at home! :D</p>
<p>Well.. It wasn&#8217;t worth it.  Not to me.  It was worth it as an experiment and to be able to tell y&#8217;all about it, but in real-time, I just felt kind of empty after I finished saying whatever I said, and I have no idea what I said, because I was just making it up on the fly and I was more paying attention to her reactions to what I was saying than whatever words I selected.  Basically, I had burned whatever rap I had been working on to the ground and was going to have to bail altogether or start something completely new with her after my phony pickup confession.</p>
<p>Really, I felt pretty drained.  I immediately started contemplating how this happened to me in the first place.  Actually, some of my processing cycles before I spoke up were taken up by thoughts of &#8220;um&#8230; How the hell did this happen to me?&#8221; :D But I had to suppress that to decide what route I was going with the answer.  As soon as I finished, I devoted all energies to assessing the situation, because it was a MAJOR blunder on my part.  Now, through writing it out, I see how it happened.</p>
<p>And I supposed that concludes this story with Error #7.  Instead of getting back in the game, I was just disgusted with myself and preoccupied with taking mental notes about the surrounding circumstances which led to my grand soliloquy about nothing of import.  I basically grounded myself, which might have seemed to her that I didn&#8217;t want to talk to her anymore.  I hope I didn&#8217;t come off like that, but I&#8217;m pretty sure I did.  Actually, I had put myself on punishment and was just disgusted and didn&#8217;t feel like working around the issue.  I owed her more than that, but didn&#8217;t give it to her.</p>
<p>So, gentlemen&#8230; The moral of the story is to keep your eyes on the prize, control your situations and environments and make sure you retain the lead role when you&#8217;re rapping to a chick.  If you&#8217;re gonna fumble, make sure you do it on your own terms&#8230; Not because you got lazy and let someone else kick the ball out of your hands while you were standing there watching it all go down.</p>
<p>I guess as a bonus, I&#8217;ll add in Error #8, which is the fact that since I knew there were plenty of women that I knew at the next party, I was totally unconcerned with fumbling ONE, and that contributed to my experimental nature.  So, not only shouldn&#8217;t I have considered her past tense until she actually LEFT, but I should have maintained my level of concentration on her and attention to her until the situation played itself all the way out.</p>
<p>I think that&#8217;s what disgusted me the most about this situation.  I got bored, I got lazy, I started slackin&#8217;&#8230; and then I GOT CAUGHT SLIPPIN&#8217;!!! :D</p>
<p>Ah well.  C&#8217;est la vie.  Easy come, Easy go! :D</p>
<p>~<a href="http://billcammack.com/" title="Bill Cammack">Bill</a></p>
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<h3  class="related_post_title">Related Posts</h3><ul class="related_post"><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2010/10/15/team-selection-hunters-part-12/" title="Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]">Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2010/09/07/nobody-is-created-equal-hunters-part-09/" title="Nobody&#8217;s Created Equal [Hunters, Part 09]">Nobody&#8217;s Created Equal [Hunters, Part 09]</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2012/05/15/how-to-approach-women/" title="How To Approach Women">How To Approach Women</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2011/05/31/dating-instinct-hunters-part-16/" title="Dating Instinct [Hunters, Part 16]">Dating Instinct [Hunters, Part 16]</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2011/03/29/speed-primetime-downtime-hunters-part-15/" title="Speed, Primetime, &#038; Downtime [Hunters, Part 15]">Speed, Primetime, &#038; Downtime [Hunters, Part 15]</a></li></ul>]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sex By Mistake?</title>
		<link>http://billcammack.com/2009/03/12/sex-by-mistake/</link>
		<comments>http://billcammack.com/2009/03/12/sex-by-mistake/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:48:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Cammack</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[DatingGenius]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[excuse]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[sorry]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[wake up]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://billcammack.com/?p=4207</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ladies. Please wake up. There is no such thing as a guy having sex by mistake. Period. No chance, no way, no how. None. I was having this conversation about &#8220;the truth&#8221; with a friend the other day, and the scenario came up of a guy being in a relationship with one chick and then [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div name="googleone_share_1" style="position:relative;z-index:5;clear:right; float: right; margin-right: 10px; margin-top:10px;"><g:plusone size="tall" count="1" href="http://billcammack.com/2009/03/12/sex-by-mistake/"></g:plusone></div><p><a href="http://billcammack.com/2009/03/10/weapons-of-ass-distraction/" title="Weapons of Ass Distraction by Bill Cammack" rel="nofollow"><img src="http://e.static.blip.tv/BillCammack-WeaponsOfAssDistraction113.jpg" width="260" alt="Bill Cammack / Weapons of Ass Distraction" /></a>Ladies. <em>Please</em> wake up. There is no such thing as a guy having sex by mistake.  Period.  No chance, no way, no how.  None.</p>
<p>I was having this conversation about &#8220;the truth&#8221; with a friend the other day, and the scenario came up of a guy being in a relationship with one chick and then having sex with a different chick and returning to his so-called &#8220;girlfriend&#8221; and telling her &#8220;the truth&#8221;.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, :) My friend&#8217;s version of a guy telling &#8220;the truth&#8221; included &#8220;blah blah blah blah and I made a mistake and blah blah blah&#8221;.  Sorry.  That doesn&#8217;t exist.</p>
<h2>Free Will</h2>
<p>What had happened was&#8230;.. He did what he wanted to do AT. THAT. TIME., and now he feels sorry about it.</p>
<p><em>Maybe</em> he feels sorry because he went back on his word, which has nothing to do with his girl and everything to do with who he thinks he is as a person and what he believes (believED) his overall character is (was).</p>
<p><em>Maybe</em> he feels sorry because he didn&#8217;t think he was the type of guy to cheat, and he found out &#8220;the hard way&#8221; that he was (is).</p>
<p><em>Maybe</em> he feels sorry that he can&#8217;t look his girl in the eye and continue the lie that he&#8217;s only having sex with her. <span id="more-4207"></span></p>
<p><em>Maybe</em> he feels sorry that he&#8217;s going to break her heart when he tells her the truth.</p>
<p><em>Maybe</em> he feels sorry that he&#8217;s risking his relationship being over, just because of a few hours (minutes?&#8230; seconds?) of fun.</p>
<p>Whatever he&#8217;s sorry about <em><strong>NOW</strong></em> has no bearing on what he did <em><strong>THEN</strong></em>, which was to pull up to the next chick&#8217;s bumper, bay-bay, in his long black limousine:</p>
<p><object width="320" height="240"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XVa1T9N62hQ&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XVa1T9N62hQ&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="320" height="240"></embed></object></p>
<h2>Now and Then</h2>
<p>Does he feel <em><strong>NOW</strong></em> like it was &#8220;a mistake&#8221;?  In the grand scheme of things, yes, he does.  That doesn&#8217;t make his action &#8220;a mistake&#8221;.  It makes it a BAD IDEA.  People have BAD IDEAS all the time, like selecting <a href="http://billcammack.com/2008/10/27/sarah-palin-wardrobe/">Sarah Palin</a> as a running mate.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.shallownation.com/images/sarah-palin-john-mccain-2008-republican-vice-president-announcement2.JPG" width="240" alt="Sarah Palin" title="Sarah Palin">See, but you can&#8217;t turn around after you get BLOWN OUT in the Presidential Election and say &#8220;Honey&#8230; I made a mistake by selecting Sarah&#8221;.  The fact remains that you chose her, and you did what you did, and you got what you got.</p>
<p>Tell it like it is: &#8220;Honey&#8230; I made a conscious decision to run with Sarah Palin, and I LIZOST, big-time, like in a practically historical landslide&#8221;.</p>
<p>Similarly, if your man steps to you after the fact with some form of &#8220;excuse&#8221;, it needs to include the fact that at the time, he was doing EXACTLY what he wanted to do, which was tap the other chick.</p>
<blockquote><p><em><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mistake" rel="nofollow">Mistake</a>:<br />
transitive verb<br />
1: to blunder in the choice of (mistook her way in the dark)<br />
2a: to misunderstand the meaning or intention of : misinterpret (don&#8217;t mistake me, I mean exactly what I said)<br />
2b: to make a wrong judgment of the character or ability of<br />
3: to identify wrongly : confuse with another (I mistook him for his brother)</em></p></blockquote>
<p><strong>1:</strong> To blunder in the choice of: &#8220;Sorry honey&#8230; Turns out, I blundered in the choice of which female to have sex with&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>2a:</strong> To misunderstand the meaning or intention of: &#8220;Sorry honey&#8230;  I didn&#8217;t understand that if I tapped that, you would get upset or feel betrayed.  When you had said &#8216;sex&#8217;, I didn&#8217;t know you meant &#8216;intercourse&#8217;, exactly&#8230; My bad.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>2b:</strong> To make a wrong judgment of the character or ability of: &#8220;Sorry honey&#8230; When she invited me back to her place so she could &#8216;Knock my socks off&#8217;, I thought she meant she could beat me at Scrabble or Connect-4.  When I had told her I had a girlfriend, and she said &#8216;so what?&#8217;, haha I thought she was joking. :)  Apparently, I completely misjudged her character&#8230;. um&#8230; as well as her ABILITY!!! (good-googelamoogela!)&#8230; My bad.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>3:</strong> To identify wrongly:  I&#8217;m not even going to get into this one, because I *JUST* posted about that in <a href="http://billcammack.com/2009/03/11/did-your-man-call-out-another-woman-name/">&#8220;Did your man call out another womanâ€™s name?&#8221;</a>.  Just make sure you apply &#8220;My bad&#8221; at the end.</p>
<h2>Kilts and Bagpipes</h2>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/billcammack/1702724816/" title="City at Night by Bill Cammack" rel="nofollow"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2223/1702724816_1c10793480_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="City at Night / Bill Cammack" /></a>So you see, even if you were to take his word that it was &#8220;a mistake&#8221; that he had sex with someone other than yourself, that&#8217;s not an EXCUSE.  <a href="http://billcammack.com/2008/09/05/alcohol-is-no-excuse/">Neither is alcohol</a>, but we&#8217;ve gone over that one already, back in September.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s no such thing as a guy having sex by mistake because first of all, there&#8217;s a physical arousal component that needs to be present in order for intercourse to occur at all.  It&#8217;s not like y&#8217;all chicks that all you have to do is lean back and all of a sudden, you&#8217;re getting laid.</p>
<p>On top of that, being that this is neither Scotland nor Ireland, most guys are wearing *PANTS*!  These pants are normally accessorized with BELTS, ZIPPERS and BUTTONS, so it&#8217;s not very likely that they were removed &#8220;by mistake&#8221;.</p>
<p>Claiming condom use is a win/lose situation.  You&#8217;re giving up the &#8220;mistake&#8221; defense for the &#8220;safer sex&#8221; defense&#8230; That is&#8230; Unless you happen to own a pair of pants that automatically attaches a condom to your person if they&#8217;re removed from your body outside the presence of your girlfriend.</p>
<p>So, Please, Ladies.  WAKE UP, and stop accepting these retarded &#8220;excuses&#8221; for what a guy planned to do, did, and is now trying to get over for.  If you feel like your man LEGITIMATELY made a mistake by having sex with some other chick, and you took him back because he &#8220;told you the truth&#8221;, tell us the story in the comments below about how you went out like a sucker and fell for the old okey-doke.</p>
<p>~<a href="http://billcammack.com/" title="Bill Cammack">Bill</a></p>
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<h3  class="related_post_title">Related Posts</h3><ul class="related_post"><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2012/02/20/keep-your-legs-closed/" title="Keep. Your. Legs. Closed.">Keep. Your. Legs. Closed.</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2010/04/27/why-men-cheat/" title="Why Men Cheat">Why Men Cheat</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2009/12/08/why-women-are-better-liars-than-men/" title="Why Women Are Better Liars Than Men">Why Women Are Better Liars Than Men</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2012/05/22/men-buy-sex/" title="Men Buy Sex">Men Buy Sex</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2011/09/19/moral-failing-in-relationships/" title="&#8220;Moral Failing&#8221; In Relationships">&#8220;Moral Failing&#8221; In Relationships</a></li></ul>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Top 10 Mistakes Girls Make When Trying To Get A Guy</title>
		<link>http://billcammack.com/2008/07/18/top-10-mistakes-girls-make-when-trying-to-get-a-guy/</link>
		<comments>http://billcammack.com/2008/07/18/top-10-mistakes-girls-make-when-trying-to-get-a-guy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:13:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bill Cammack</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[L = Lindsey Chen B = Bill Cammack L: There are millions (and counting) of girls out there who are single. Some of them prefer to be single, but for the most part, they just can&#8217;t get a guy. Why? These girls are eligible bachelorettes, good looking, have a career and (for the most part) [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div name="googleone_share_1" style="position:relative;z-index:5;clear:right; float: right; margin-right: 10px; margin-top:10px;"><g:plusone size="tall" count="1" href="http://billcammack.com/2008/07/18/top-10-mistakes-girls-make-when-trying-to-get-a-guy/"></g:plusone></div><div style="float:left"><img src="http://billcammack.com/images/lindsey_chen_bill_cammack_2009.jpg" title="Lindsey Chen &#038; Bill Cammack" alt="Lindsey Chen &#038; Bill Cammack" width="150"/><br />
<span style="color: #ff00ff;"><font size="1">L =</span> <a href="http://lindseychen.com/" rel="friend met colleague" style="color: #ff00ff;">Lindsey Chen</a> <span style="color: #0000ff;">B =</span> <a href="http://billcammack.com/category/datinggenius/" style="color: #0000ff;">Bill Cammack</a></font></div>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: There are millions (and counting) of girls out there who are single. Some of them prefer to be single, but for the most part, they just can&#8217;t get a guy. Why? These girls are eligible bachelorettes, good looking, have a career and (for the most part) aren&#8217;t crazy. They are just breaking some simple rules when trying to get a guy. And that&#8217;s probably because they don&#8217;t realize they are making these obvious mistakes. My advice? Follow the rules and it should be smooth sailing from here on out.</span><br clear="left"></p>
<p><strong>1) Looking in all the wrong places</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: It&#8217;s Friday night and you&#8217;re all dressed up to head to the coolest bar or as I like to call it, &#8220;frat boy feeding grounds.&#8221; This is your first indication that you&#8217;re in the wrong place. The second indication is that guys are fist pumping while dancing to &#8220;My Humps&#8221; and any other song by R. Kelly. These guys are classy. Real classy. Do you want to hook up with these guys? Probably not. So why are you there? You&#8217;re better off meeting someone doing something you like i.e. Museums, concerts, Art galleries or even a lounge. Already you&#8217;ll have something to talk about and eliminate the problem of meeting Mr. Douchebag who you&#8217;ll have to talk to for at least 7 minutes when he buys you a drink and then force him off of you because he&#8217;s too drunk to even have a proper conversation. I&#8217;ll explain the 7 minute rule later.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: Spot-On, hahaha  I can always tell what kind of girls are going to be in a spot by the kinds of guys I see there.  Maybe there&#8217;s some variety when a place first opens, but eventually, the bar achieves a certain &#8220;personality&#8221;, and the same type of people tend to flock to it.  The more these people show up, the less OTHER people show up, because it becomes less their scene.  Eventually, places become known for certain types of guys that go there.  Once that happens, girls who are into those types of guys go to those places&#8230; and girls that DON&#8217;T like those types of guys avoid those places.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">The problem occurs when it&#8217;s &#8220;girls&#8217; night out&#8221; and one of your homegirls picks a bar with the types of guys SHE likes, but not the types YOU like.  If this is the case, make sure you rotate who gets to choose the venue! :D</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">Meeting someone doing something you like is a way better option, because you definitely have something in common and even if you don&#8217;t want to go to a museum and see who shows up there, there are online groups like http://meetup.com where people figure out what interests they share and then make plans to get together IRL.</span><br />
<strong><br />
2) Giving them your number and expecting them to call</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: If a guy asks for your number, OK give it to him. There&#8217;s about a 35% chance that he&#8217;ll call. But don&#8217;t just shove your number in his pocket (or better yet, write it on his hand) and expect him to call. That screams, SLUT! Here&#8217;s you&#8217;re first mistake. You&#8217;re too aggressive. Half the fun is the chase and if you put yourself out there like that, you&#8217;re coming across as too easy. Guys don&#8217;t like that. If guys wanted an easy girl, he&#8217;d go to the local strip club or pick up the first girl on the corner of the street. At least he wouldn&#8217;t have to waste his time conversing with you. Anyway, these aren&#8217;t the guys that you&#8217;re going for, right? You&#8217;re to classy for that kind of shit.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: That&#8217;s just the thing.  If you give a guy your number when he didn&#8217;t ask you for it, he&#8217;s either thinking that you&#8217;re sweating him or that you give your number to everybody.  If he was planning on calling you anyway, then good for you for indicating that you like him also.  If he WASN&#8217;T planning on calling you, he&#8217;ll still take your number, just in case.  So if he doesn&#8217;t crumple it up and discard it after you walk away, you *might* get a call after he runs down the list of chicks he ACTUALLY wanted to hang out with that night.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">Your best bet is to make him so interested in you that he&#8217;s DYING to get your number before letting you out of his sight. ;)</span></p>
<p><strong>3) Allowing the guys to buy you unlimited drinks</strong> <span id="more-1125"></span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: Now I talked about my 7 minute rule above. If a guy buys you a drink, he&#8217;s entitled to 7 minutes of your time. This doesn&#8217;t mean that you&#8217;re only worth 7 minutes, it&#8217;s just the rule. SO first off, be prepared to talk to him for at least 7 minutes. After the first drink if you want to &#8220;buy yourself&#8221; another 7 minutes, YOU buy the next round of drinks. You don&#8217;t want to seem needy and cheap, do you? If he keeps buying you drinks all night, that just shows that you are unable or unwilling to be independent and need taking care of. This give him the upper hand in the relationship and it&#8217;s not a good way to start. You make your own money, you can buy things. After all, didn&#8217;t Beyonce sing about how great it is to be an Independent Woman? I thought so.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: lol @ 7 minute rule! :D  This is very true that guys tend to buy women&#8217;s time.  You have to think about it like a business.  A beer plus tip in Manhattan&#8217;s around $7, so that means by using Lindz&#8217;s style, you&#8217;re getting paid $1/minute to talk with him.  That&#8217;s pretty good, considering you&#8217;d be getting paid ~ $6/minute to give him a one-song length lap dance, and you get to keep your clothes on! :D</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">However, if you don&#8217;t eject after 7 minutes, you&#8217;re only worth pennies per minute, and that&#8217;s not cool. :(</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">Buying the next round is what separates &#8220;the women from the girls&#8221; as it were.  Buying drinks isn&#8217;t about keeping your money in your own pocket&#8230;. It&#8217;s about spreading goodwill.  You&#8217;re doing a favor for someone that you like.  By not reciprocating when he buys you drinks, not only do you NOT look independent&#8230;  He&#8217;s stacking up favors that he&#8217;s going to want returned in other ways later that evening.  I&#8217;m not saying he DESERVES what he&#8217;s going to request&#8230; Just don&#8217;t be surprised when it happens&#8230; AGAIN.</span></p>
<p><strong>4) Talking about boring shit</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: If you just meet a guy, this is the time to let him know how awesome you are. Talk about something interesting (stay away from politics and religion), not something boring. If the first sentence that comes out of your mouth is, &#8220;I got these new shoes that I have been wanting and they were on sale at Bloomies.&#8221; all he&#8217;s going to hear is, &#8220;I got these new shoes and I&#8217;m so self absorbed, no wonder I am single.&#8221; ::scans eyes around the room for another potential girl who isn&#8217;t boring as hell::. See what I mean? Don&#8217;t be boring. Girls, you know what that means.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: No doubt.  Talking to him is how you express your personality and intelligence.  If you squander that opportunity, he&#8217;s gonna see you as T&#038;A and relate to you as such.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">Also, make sure you&#8217;re original and not derivative.  You want him to consider you a thinker and someone unpredictable&#8230; Not someone who&#8217;s going to regurgitate what she read in the paper on the way to work that morning. :/</span></p>
<p><strong>5) Hitting on other guys at the same time</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: So you&#8217;re talking to a guy and then he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. The conversation is going really well. Then another guy sits on the other side of you and offers to buy you a drink. Say NO. No matter how much you want this other drink (you lush), that is disrespectful to the first guy. He&#8217;s going to come back from the bathroom and see you scamming on some other guy and think wow, she&#8217;s a slut. This is not a good impression. At least wait until the first guy has left the bar! Have some respect for you and for him! You can&#8217;t go two-timing guys and expect them to both want you still. Do you know what the ratio of single girls to guys are? Let&#8217;s just say that you don&#8217;t have the advantage!</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: I guess this is the flip side of the 7-minute rule, which is &#8220;if you&#8217;re enjoying yourself, allot as much time as you like with hanging out with the same guy&#8221;.  Yeah, if you&#8217;re already in a good conversation, don&#8217;t let it get derailed by the next man tryinna get on.  Just let him know that you appreciate it, but you&#8217;re waiting for your friend to come back.  However, like Lindz said&#8230; If dude #1 breaks out&#8230; ANYTHING GOES! :D</span></p>
<p><strong>6) Thinking that something that looked good on the mannequin looks good on you</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: Unless you have the same shape as the mannequin, get a second opinion before taking that top or those jeans to the register! :D  Great-looking shoes, but you don&#8217;t know how to walk in them?&#8230;. Leave them at the store.  If you can&#8217;t walk in them NOW, wait until you&#8217;re stumbling out of a bar with your drunk homegirls.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">Also, if you&#8217;re wearing a top and you have to pull it down every three minutes&#8230;. it doesn&#8217;t fit.  Either be happy it sits where it sits on your body or BUY.THE.NEXT.SIZE.UP! :D</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: I agree&#8230; make sure you look presentable. Less is more. And also a quick tip when you&#8217;re shopping &#8211; if it doesn&#8217;t look good on the mannequin, it won&#8217;t look good on you.</span></p>
<p><strong>7) Assuming he likes you for your mind when you haven&#8217;t said JACK yet</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: This is so dumb, and chicks do this every single day. :)  If do you think a guy likes you for your mind&#8230;. Think back and make a list of the things that you&#8217;ve said that have impressed him.  The things you&#8217;ve said that were witty?  That were cool?  That showed you were down to earth?</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">If you can&#8217;t figure out why he&#8217;s impressed with you mentally&#8230;. he probably isn&#8217;t. :)</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: Absolutely. And this goes back to #4. If you have this problem, then maybe you should think about things you&#8217;d like to say before you go out&#8230;just so you don&#8217;t end up pulling stuff out of your ass when you&#8217;re talking to the guy and sounding even dumber than you think you do. Think before you speak.</span></p>
<p><strong>8&#41; Calling a guy your boyfriend before he actually is</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: A lot of times, the first guy that expresses interest in a chick is handed the title &#8220;boyfriend&#8221;.  At the very least, she says &#8220;I&#8217;m seeing someone&#8221;.  You don&#8217;t want to declare this too early, because you&#8217;ll be biased against guys that are just as good for you or BETTER, merely because they kicked it to you AFTER the first guy.  Who loses in this situation?  YOU! :D</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">If you stay with a guy that you like less than this new guy, you lose.  If you dump a guy that you just agreed to devote your life to a week later for some guy you never saw in life before, you get talked about.  Avoid all this by spending time with people that you like and handing out titles when you HONESTLY feel like you&#8217;re going to stay with this person.  Don&#8217;t give out titles just so you feel decently about yourself when you talk to friends and family so you can say &#8220;I have somebody! :D&#8221;.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: My advice is go with the flow. If things are going great, why do you need a title? I have some friends who NEED a title. But think about this: Would you rather be married to someone who you absolutely can&#8217;t stand or casually dating someone who you love and have a great time with? Titles don&#8217;t matter if you&#8217;re having a good time.</span></p>
<p><strong>9) Asking girls that don&#8217;t know JACK about guys for advice</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: Obviously, Lindz knows what she&#8217;s talking about which is why I enjoy writing with her&#8230;.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">If a chick you know has more experience with guys than you do, that doesn&#8217;t necessarily mean she can help YOU with YOUR love life. :)  Try to pay attention to her track record.  How many kids does she have because of &#8220;pull-out method&#8221;?  How many guys is it *possible* that this new pregnancy&#8217;s from?  Does she have any real-world examples of how the advice she&#8217;s giving YOU has worked for HER?&#8230;..</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">Depending on her personal track record, you might want to ignore her advice. :/</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">Thanks Bill. But seriously, it really helps to take advice from someone you trust. This reminds me of this song by Mya,</span> </p>
<blockquote><p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">&#8220;If you&#8217;ve been divorced more than twice<br />
And you wanna give advice about my love life<br />
Oh no you can just forget that<br />
I don&#8217;t need that<br />
So you can just go ahead and keep that<br />
And if you always lookin a mess<br />
But yet you wanna tell me how to dress<br />
Oh no I don&#8217;t wanna hear that<br />
I won&#8217;t take that<br />
So you can just go ahead and save that&#8221;</span></p></blockquote>
<p><strong>10) Acting / Dressing sexier than you really are</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #0000ff;">B: This is gonna backfire on you BIG-TIME.  You&#8217;ll get all the attention and get the drinks bought, and the guys will want to &#8220;dance&#8221; with you&#8230; but when it comes down to it, they&#8217;re going to expect you to be as sensual in private as you made out to be in public.  If you don&#8217;t want guys to react to you that way, don&#8217;t play that role.  Dress however you feel.  So long as you feel like you look good (to yourself), and you&#8217;re expressing your personality (if that&#8217;s one of your wardrobe goals), don&#8217;t worry about not getting so much attention from the guys.  The attention you DO get is going to be from guys that like you AS-IS.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">L: Ahhh! I have a great story about this. My guy friend *Matt started to date my friend *Susie. He&#8217;d met her once and then developed a friendship over MySpace with her. She had pictures when she was 15lbs skinnier wearing lingerie. Of course she did not look like that in real life. After one night of hooking up with her, he woke up the next morning and said, &#8220;What&#8217;s with the pictures on MySpace? That&#8217;s false advertising.&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">My point is, go with what you&#8217;re comfortable with, like Bill said. If you don&#8217;t like wearing a shit-ton of make-up, don&#8217;t. This shows that you&#8217;re happy with who you are and you are comfortable around them. And that means a lot.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #ff00ff;">Until next time, be smart, be savvy and be yourself!</span></p>
<p><a href="http://lindseychen.com/" rel="friend met colleague" style="color: #ff00ff;">Lindz</a> &#038; <a href="http://billcammack.com/" style="color: #0000ff;">Bill</a><br />
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<p><center><a href="http://billcammack.com/category/datinggenius/lindz-bill/">More posts in the Lindz &amp; Bill category</a></center><br />
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<h3  class="related_post_title">Related Posts</h3><ul class="related_post"><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2008/07/30/top-10-mistakes-guys-make-when-trying-to-get-a-girl/" title="Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl">Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2008/12/05/why-women-have-to-be-attractive-and-men-dont/" title="Why Women Have To Be Attractive And Men Don&#8217;t">Why Women Have To Be Attractive And Men Don&#8217;t</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2008/12/08/its-all-in-the-game-online-dating/" title="It&#8217;s All In The Game (Online Dating)">It&#8217;s All In The Game (Online Dating)</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2008/07/25/why-guys-catcall/" title="Why Guys Catcall">Why Guys Catcall</a></li><li><a href="http://billcammack.com/2012/05/22/men-buy-sex/" title="Men Buy Sex">Men Buy Sex</a></li></ul>]]></content:encoded>
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