Single.. But Not Really

“Single” is another one of those dating titles that are absolutely meaningless, like “Just Friends”, “Friends With Benefits (FWB)”, “Girlfriend”, “Boyfriend”, etc..

No title means anything at all without consistent actions backing that up. Continue reading “Single.. But Not Really”

Your Word Means Nothing

The second half of this week’s Jersey Shore episode was entirely uneventful, but it’s useful to point out an aspect of general society that I often complain about.

People’s word doesn’t mean anything anymore. People say whatever they feel like saying at the time, and there’s no truth backing their statements, there’s no action backing their statements, and they do 180-degree turns at the drop of a hat.

This is why the relationship type, Frenemies continues to thrive. People have no problem loving and hating each other at the same time, with neither emotion being worth a damn to begin with, because none of it’s real. Continue reading “Your Word Means Nothing”

No Romance Without Finance

A reader asked me a question the other day that pertained to my post “Hard To Get” vs “Expensive To Buy”. I’d like to clarify my position on dating & monetary exchanges…

The basic point of that post was that if a gal requires some kind of monetary exchange from a guy in order to give it up, she’s essentially a hooker. Sex for Money is Prostitution and there’s no way around that, purely by definition.

What happens is that the guy adds up the expenses he incurred while attempting to get on, and that becomes her “purchase price”, let’s call it. Buy her an expensive dress and you can get some. Take her out to three dinners and you can get some. She’s basically been reduced to a simple business transaction… “So long as I can afford X, she’ll give me Y”. Continue reading “No Romance Without Finance”

Famous For Nothing [Fame, Part 3]

Two years ago, in May 2008, I wrote “Fame, Popularity & Star Power” and then “Fame (Part 2)” two weeks apart from each other. The main point was that I was trying to figure out how to articulate my thoughts about fame in order to respond to an opinion my friend Dave had expressed about why I do what I do.

I never actually figured out how to exactly articulate the difference between what I’ve done for basically my entire life and what a lot of people do now. Today.. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I ended up watching a video where someone interviewed Melyssa Ford. Continue reading “Famous For Nothing [Fame, Part 3]”

Nothing In Common With Your SO?

What if you don’t have much in common with your “significant other”? O_o

Reader Alexis brought this up, and I think it’s a good question. It’s also a question that people tend not to think about until it’s too late, and they’re already involved in a so-called ‘relationship’.

At some point in your relationship, you’re going to get tired of having sex with your SO all the time and then you’re actually going to have to hang out with them. Horror of Horrors! Oh, the Humanity!!! :O

This is a problem because a lot of people treat SOs differently from actual friends. That’s because they’re NOT friends. They’re in a mutually beneficial relationship. Sometimes, a mutually parasitic relationship. Continue reading “Nothing In Common With Your SO?”

“Buy a Girl a Drink?” (Something for Nothing)

It’s a typical rap move to “buy a girl a drink”. You see a gal you’d like to kick it with, but you don’t have the nerve to walk up to her, introduce yourself and start talking. So, somehow, it’s been passed down through the ages that buying her a drink is a good way to get your foot in the door. Well, encyclopedia salesmen get their feet in doors as well. Let’s examine how you look when your opener is to give away stuff to chicks for free that you had to spend your hard-earned money to get.

First of all, let’s talk about your money. Unless you have the hookup at the bar (or happen to own it), you have to spend money to buy her that drink. Let’s say your ass works for minimum wage (whatever THAT is these days)… I’ll guess that minimum wage is $10/hour, and depending where you are, it could run you $7 plus tip for a pint of beer. Let’s not even talk about those colorful mixed drinks chicks like to lamp with! πŸ˜€ So… Essentially… By buying her a drink, that means you just worked about 45 minutes for her. Even if we boost your ducats so that you’re only working 20 minutes for her… is that what you *really* want to do? πŸ˜€ If you walked up to a chick and she said you could talk to her after you mowed her lawn and raked her leaves, would you do it? πŸ˜€

Now, you might be thinking “stop being cheap… it’s only either $10 or 20 minutes’ worth of manual labor, and I might get on tonight”. While I understand that professional prostitutes cost much more than that… Since, by definition, you’re approaching her for the first time in life… There’s NO WAY that she’s done anything FOR YOU that warrants you buying her something. Does that make sense? Get it? She’s done NOTHING, and you’re giving her SOMETHING… ANYTHING… ‘Doesn’t matter what it is. The only thing worse than rewarding her for NO behavior is rewarding her for BAD behavior. That’s a completely different topic, though.

By giving her stuff right off the bat, you’re letting her know that regardless of what she does, you’re willing to shell out. What if she thanks you for the drink and walks away from you as soon as you hand it to her? HAHAHAHA What if she doesn’t *even* say “Thank You”? What’reyagonnado? Take your drink back? Drink the Apple Martini for her? πŸ˜€ No. You’re gonna “take a short”, is what you’re gonna do. πŸ˜€ Are you aware that there are chicks that go out to clubs DELIBERATELY with no money, because they know there are so many guys just.like.you that will pay for them to drink all night for the potential opportunity to smack it up, flip it, rub it down, OH NOOOOO! πŸ˜€

That’s another thing. When you kick game, you want to seem UNIQUE… not TYPICAL. Try your best not to make yourself indistinguishable from the other 30 guys that stepped to her with the exact same line and the exact same offer of free stuff that she doesn’t even deserve yet. Not getting it? Let’s look at the flip side. Let’s say YOU were in the club, and a chick walked up to you out of the blue wanting to go home with you….. Now, there are some guys that can graciously accept that and go get their groove on. πŸ™‚ There are A LOT OF GUYS that will see that chick as loose, easy, a ho, desperate, whatever it is, they’re going to low-rate her for giving them something for nothing. Am I right? Have you seen this happen or heard of it from your boys or your girls? Uh-huh…

OTOH, if you actually KNOW someone and want to buy them a drink to show them that you enjoy their company or value them as a friend, by all means, that’s a great gesture that people appreciate. πŸ™‚ Similarly, if you met her just now and had a nice conversation and you’re *NOW* feeling goodwill towards her, offering to get her something as you excuse yourself to go to the bar is a classy and chivalrous gesture. You’re rewarding GOOD behavior. You’re letting her know that you appreciate her for her personality and the way she carries herself.

I mean, it’s not like you’re slick. Everybody knows what you’re doing. Everybody knows why you offered HER a drink and ignored her busted homegirl. Everybody knows you’re trying to bribe her with $7 worth of alcohol. πŸ™‚ Everybody knows you’re hoping that drink “loosens her morals”. πŸ˜€

Maybe next time, get yourself together, step to her honorably and let her know why you came over there. Maybe she’ll find you refreshing instead of redundant. Maybe if you represent yourself properly, she’ll buy YOU a drink! πŸ˜€

DatingGenius