Bill Cammack

This is a reply to a comment that reader JS left on “Why Women Have To Be Attractive And Men Don’t”. I thought he had some interesting points and complaints and wanted to make this its own post:

Excellent write-up, JS. Thank you for the detailed comment. :)

I’m going to try to list your points so I can respond. Please let me know if I misunderstand what you’re saying:

1. Men don’t have any power in “the dating game”, because women have the power to reject AND choose.
2. Women go for men they find facially attractive, so if you have that, you’re golden.. Otherwise, you’re “short”.
3. Women say raunchy things about men and wanting to give it up to the guys they think are visually attractive.
4. When women get older, they start to lose their sexiness and therefore lose the only power they had over men in the first place.
5. Men are at a severe disadvantage, from youth through middle age if they’re not handsome.

ok… As far as men being at a disadvantage, EVERYONE’S at a disadvantage if they’re less physically or visually attractive than the next person. I discussed this over a year ago, in February 2008, in “Life Isn’t Fair”. You’re saying that guys are at a disadvantage when it comes to women in general. I’m saying guys have a disadvantage when it comes to other guys and gals have a disadvantage when it comes to other gals. Life is just BETTER for attractive people. It’ll never be different. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve always loved the song “Games Without Frontiers” by Peter Gabriel. For me, the song has an incredible mix of depression and hope. There’s power and powerlessness in the face of “the game” at the same time. I never get a feeling that one person is going to “win out” over the next person. I never get the feeling that the situation will ever stabilize. To me, it’s a representation of ‘the game’ and how each person comes to the table with their own set of abilities and shortcomings and the chips fall where they may…….

*In researching, I find that there were some offensive/controversial lyrics that were changed to make the song radio-friendly.*

Mercs

I woke up this morning thinking about this song, because for me, it exemplifies the mercenary nature of dating in New York City.

We’re all ‘Mercs’. We have to be, because people throw pretty heavy ‘game’ at us, and if you’re not a shark yourself, you’ll get eaten by the sharks. It’s just plainly not as simple as people lay it out in these fairy tale relationship stories where some guy in the sticks marries his high school sweetheart or the girl he met when he went to the General Store to buy cereal and gasoline at the same location.

The ‘problem’ is that we all want something, and we’re willing to play hardball to get it. It’s honestly like a war-time scenario. I’m not proud of that or happy about it, but that’s how it is. You just have to know that when you step to a chick and introduce yourself, you’re about to get whatever she wants to give you that will further her own agenda. It’s not “the truth”. It’s not “who she really is”. It’s what she’s willing to present to you in order to get you to do what she wants you to do.

Women have to be that way, because men are that way towards them. Obviously, guys are going to say or do whatever they need to in order to get laid, which is the bottom line. All this jockeying for position is a constant quest for CONTROL of the other person, usually for two different reasons…

Control

Control is a fallacy… a fantasy… it doesn’t exist. The only person you control is yourself…… maybe. Read the rest of this entry »