Bill Cammack

David Duchovny made the news recently for entering a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. This made me wonder how it’s determined that someone’s a sex addict.

Nowadays, the scheme is to make everything a disease so they can sell you the medication to fix yourself. You’re not MAD AS HELL… you have anger management issues. You’re not BORED AS HELL, you have attention deficit disorder. You’re not OBESE, you have weight management issues. You’re not SHORT THAN A MUG, you’re vertically challenged. You’re not a BUM, you’re homeless. You didn’t DIE, you passed on…..

Anyway…

So I decided to research exactly what it’s supposed to mean when they say someone’s sexually addicted or addicted to sex. Interestingly, I came across a great article that my friend Rachel Kramer Bussel wrote in November, 2007 for The Huffington Post, entitled “Am I A Sex Addict? Are You?”, which is really technical and virtually saturated with links on the topic, so if you’re interested in more background on this topic, go read Rachel’s post. :)

Bill & Rachel

Now… It took me a long-ass-time to research this stuff, because like I said earlier, the scheme nowadays is to take some normal-ass behavior and claim that it’s a problem so they can get your money to ‘fix’ you. Here are opening paragraphs to some of the sites I visited:

http://www.saa-recovery.org/addict.htm

“Sex Addiction can involve a wide variety of practices. Sometimes an addict has trouble with just one unwanted behavior, sometimes with many. A large number of sex addicts say their unhealthy use of sex has been a progressive process. It may have started with an addiction to masturbation, pornography (either printed or electronic), or a relationship, but over the years progressed to increasingly dangerous behaviors.”

hmm. Sounds like being a guy.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/what-is-sexual-addiction

“Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results. “

hmm. Sounds like being a guy.

http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm

“The term “sexual addiction” is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict’s thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.”

hmm. Sounds like being a guy.

http://www.sexaddict.com/FAQ.html

“Sex addiction is a way some people medicate their feelings and/or cope with their stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism for stresses in their life. The individual often can not stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior/fantasy or they may have a binge of sexual behaviors.”

hmm. Sounds like being a guy.

I could go on and on with this, obviously. How about this?… How about if sex is what someone LIKES and what makes his or her WORLD GO ‘ROUND? hmm? Think of that? What about the FREAKS? The Freaky-Deeks? The Freak-Bodies? What. About. The. People. That. Just. Love. The. Hell. Out. Of. Sex? hahaha Got any rehab for THAT? :D

Another interesting thing I found out during my research is that the term “Nympho” is out of style. According to Webster’s, Nymphomania is “excessive sexual desire by a female”. The new joint is “Hypersexual”:

“exhibiting unusual or excessive concern with or indulgence in sexual activity “

So keep that in mind next time you feel like calling a someone a FRizEAK! haha You can say “I noticed that you’re rather hypersexual…” and they’ll probably take it as a compliment. :)

So where is that line drawn between Freak/Nympho/Hypersexual and Sex Addict?

As far as I can tell, the line is drawn at whether you can handle it or not. If you can get your game on and still function as a “regular” member of society, you’re a FREAK. If you can’t deal, you’re an addict.

http://www.sexaddict.com/FAQ.html

“I have heard this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on over the years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It’s not about a fix for something; when their partner says “NO” it doesn’t make them go off the handle thinking their partner is totally rejecting them and have to leave the house or act out in some other way. If you can relate to this the chances are there may be an addiction issue.”

hmm… I think I get it… If you want to have sex with someone, whom I’ll assume by the wording here is already in a sexual relationship with you, and they decline… then “going off the handle”, “leaving the house” or “acting out in some other way” indicates you might have an addiction issue. No. It means you want to get laid. It’s called “use it or lose it”. If a woman’s not hooking up her man, he’s going to get blowjobs under the table while he’s on conference calls about oranges. If a guy’s not paying sexual and/or emotional attention to his woman, she’s gonna get that somewhere else. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t be a sexual bump on a log and expect fidelity, so let’s try again.

http://www.sexaddict.com/FAQ.html

“Pornography for many sex addicts combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone for most sex addicts. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behavior. The pornography with fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs hundreds of times before having sex with a real person.”

ummmm….. So What?

Do you see the thread appearing here? You’re an addict and you need to “get sober” if you can handle your own sexual satisfaction. You know what the only time this matters is?… If you’re IN A RELATIONSHIP and someone’s attempting to control your behavior.

On top of that… if pornography “creates an unreal world”, which, I understand that mental fantasies are technically “unreal”… but the point is, if you have fantasies, SHOULDN’T you be able to share and indulge in those with your so-called Significant Other? If you can’t, then maybe you’re just plain In. The. Wrong. Re. Lationship! Ever consider that? How about getting some “help” and “rehab” for the SO that’s not sexy enough to hold the “addict’s” attention? Can we do an intervention? :D Roll up with family and friends and tell some guy or chick “Look. You’re lame as hell and your boyfriend/girlfriend’s bored with missionary style, so we’re sending you to sex rehab so you can get some skillz. AIITE?”

One more, since like I said, I could really go on and on about this garbage all day:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/what-is-sexual-addiction

“The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders, Volume Four describes sex addiction, under the category “Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified,” as “distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.” According to the manual, sex addiction also involves “compulsive searching for multiple partners, compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.””

hmm. Sounds like being a guy.

DatingGenius

Twanna & Rachel, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Twanna A. Hines & Rachel Kramer Bussel

Bill & Rachel, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Bill Cammack & Rachel Kramer Bussel

Rachel, Bill & Twanna, originally uploaded by Bill Cammack.

Rachel Kramer Bussel, Bill Cammack & Twanna Hines