I tend to take a lot of pictures with a lot of different women.

One of the funny side effects of that is that guys assume that the women are random.

In fact, I’m in very few pictures with women I don’t personally know.

I just happen to know a lot of women.

This is what happens when you have 2,800 Facebook Friends… Statistically, that means that there are approximately 1,400 women that count as actual friends of mine, acquaintances, women I’ve spent time with, women I was introduced to by mutual friends, and women that are fans of mine.

There Go Some Chicks! :D

What’s funny about this misperception is that every once in a while, some guy I know will say something to the effect of “There go five girls over there.. Go take pictures with them! :D”

Now.. That’s not impossible for The Kid, but it all depends on whether the chicks are feelin’ me or not (or, at least one of them is).

I can tell this immediately, because my dating instinct is on-point and most guys don’t have it like that.

That’s one of the reasons they call hooking up with a chick “Getting Lucky”. It’s luck. They don’t know how they did it. Most of the time, they didn’t DO anything at all. They were in the right place at the right time and she was drunk enough so she made out with him.

For most guys, that counts as luck. For me, once I’m around a gal a few times, I know instinctively what state she’s in.

She might walk in the door in “I don’t give a damn about Bill” state, but several drinks from now, she’s going to be in “Feel Bill Up” state or “Hook up with any available guy she happens to be attracted to” state.

That’s not luck. It’s knowledge, timing and accuracy.

So, it’s always funny to me when dudes point chicks out to me and think that I can do magic tricks. haha It honestly ain’t that type-a party. :D

If I look over and determine in a few seconds that I have an “in”, I might go over there. Otherwise, I won’t be taking any action, because kickin’ it to chicks that aren’t interested in you isn’t worth your time unless she has an incredible ass.

Basically, when it comes to dating, there are only three types of women:

1. She’s not attracted to you.
2. She’s attracted to you and trying to hide that from you.
3. She’s attracted to you and down with the program.

The only question is whether you can detect that or not so you know how to efficiently interact with her.

Efficiency

If she’s already sweating you, it’s your game to lose. You really don’t have to do anything other than NOT be a jerk and you’ll eventually get on.. In most cases, sooner, rather than later.

If she’s trying to front like she doesn’t like you, that’s cool too. She probably has some kind of “protect my heart” reasons for not telling you what you already know about her. In those situations, your goal in life is to figure out WHY she’s frontin’ on the Jimmy, so you can help her get over it and y’all can get down to the nitty-gritty.

If she’s not attracted to you, that’s the only time you actually have to put in real work to get on. In most cases, it’s not worth the effort, because attractive gals in this town get offered male attention all day, every day, and if she’s not already paying you any attention, there probably isn’t much you can do to get her interested in you without investing major time, effort, and perhaps money.

This is where instinct comes in. You’re better off kickin’ it to the slightly-less-attractive chick that’s sweating you than the slightly-better-looking gal that doesn’t give a damn that you’re standing 10 feet away from her at the bar or apartment party. If you can’t tell which is which, you end up wasting a bunch of time, barking up the wrong tree.

The way you can tell what she’s thinking/feeling is that she gets an extra energy when you’re around her or talking to her. If you can naturally perceive that or you know what that looks like, it’s pretty obvious. Someone may as well have painted her bright orange.

She gets nervous or she laughs too much at your stupid jokes that you know damned well aren’t anywhere near that funny, or she keeps hanging around after you stupidly let the conversation lull because you don’t know what the **** you’re doing.

Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

So.. Besides making your strategy list of the order in which you’re going to approach women based on their physical attractiveness, you need to simultaneously create a list based on how interested each gal seems to be in you before you even step to her.

If you can’t detect this type of stuff, your rap game is basically a shot in the dark.. a LUCK SHOT in the dark, at that.

If you don’t already have it, the only way you’ll develop it is by trial & error… Decide whether you think a woman is interested in you or not and then go introduce yourself to her and see what happens.

Eventually, you should start making more educated guesses at your chances.

In the sticks, introducing yourself to women that aren’t already sweating you might be a high-percentage play, but not in NYC… Women are basically worn out by the number of times guys try to hook up with them in stores, in the street, on public transportation, at work, at parties, in bars… Even though there are too many women in this town, which makes it tough for them to get boyfriends, there are also too many dudes in this town that they don’t want to hook up with that are trying to bag them.

So.. In the interest of energy conservation, you should start practicing and honing your skills ASAP… The Dating Game is much more fun when you only kick it to bright orange chicks! >:D

Unless, of course, she happens to be from New Jersey, and that’s just her spray-tan. :/
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, Email Subscription, RSS Feed

Related Posts

• Nobody’s Created Equal [Hunters, Part 09]
• Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]
• Dating vs. Hooking Up [Hunters, Part 11]
• Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]
• Bad Decisions / Rolling Mistakes

A reader recently left this comment on my blog:

I only had a problem with one thing you said:

“I’m not famous. I can pull chicks just by walking into a party. I can go +4 or +5 on Facebook (exchange contact information) in less than an hour.”

YEAH RIGHT Bill.

Now.. Obviously, this was written by someone that doesn’t actually know me. >:D

I don’t have 2,687 Facebook Friends because I meet people one at a time.

Also, I didn’t make that statement to say something about myself.

I don’t have to talk about myself. I already know what I can do and what I’ve already done.

I was making the point that it’s literally impossible that the guys on Jersey Shore are pulling FEWER chicks now than they pulled last year, when they were absolute nobodies.

MTV turned Jersey Shore into a chick-flick, so they’re hiding the action by editing out all the scenes where the guys get on.

Anyway.. The commenter brings up a valid point, so let me explain what I’m talking about…

Trial & Error

Back in the day… I mean WAAAAAAY back in the day, I used to use the same style that everybody else uses. You go to a party, figure out the order of chicks you’d like to kick it to, and then throw your hat in the ring from the top down.

That part is still in effect. What’s NOT in effect is that once I got a rap to a gal as I was cascading down the list, I’d hang on to that rap for dear life! :D haha

You’ve seen those guys… Every time you see them, they’re *STILL* talking to the same chick that they just met, as if they had come to the party together. Back in the day, I would have said that guy was getting a successful rap. Now, I would say he’s putting all his eggs in one basket and minimizing his chances of having a good night… His entire productivity for the evening is dependent on that one girl feeling like hooking up with him.

I think this started to change for me once I realized that there was a flow to parties… The “make a list” style only works when *ALL* the women show up at the same time. The worst thing on the planet is when you’re entrenched in talking to one chick and you’re focusing on her like you want to hook up with her tonight, and then a better chick arrives late to the party, and you’re like “DAMN!!! :/ .. How do I get out of talking to this one?” because the new gal ranks higher than the one you’re currently kickin’ it with.

After having that happen a few times, it was time to go back to the drawing board and figure out a new plan… I needed to have a way for my rap to be flexible, so I could bounce from chick to chick as the situation dictated.

This is why I understand what the commenter wrote. It could have been a female, but I doubt it, so I’ll say that “he” read my statement in the context of how the Average Joe tries to get girls, in which case, the concept of meeting and “booking” (getting contact information for) several chicks within one hour seems like a ridiculous statement.

Primetime

Returning to the lab.. I was wondering how in the hell I was going to maintain intensity, yet add flexibility to my rap. The answer arrived not in analyzing what I was saying or doing, but in noticing how I was treating time the same way, when it’s actually different.

I was treating time at a party the same way as I was treating time that I was working or time that I was eating dinner, which is absolutely wrong… There aren’t a bunch of chicks around when I’m working, eating or sleeping, so my style needed to be different under different circumstances.

Same thing with the actual day and time that it happened to be… Most people work between 9am and 5pm from Monday to Friday. I’m a freelancer, so I don’t have to worry about that, however, the difference it makes is that Friday night and Saturday night are the times when *EVERYONE* tries their best to party, because it fits into their work schedules.

This means that for both reasons, scheduling and female population density, Friday night and Saturday night are both PRIMETIME. Primetime needs to be treated differently from any other time, because there’s so much more opportunity present… At this point, Thursday night is also Primetime, to a degree, because lots of us are bored with the crowds and the noise from the weekends.

So the days of the week had to be split up. Thursday, Friday & Saturday became Primetime. This is the time when you meet women, and NOT the time when you pull women… The difference being that your goal is to maximize your efficiency by meeting as many women as possible during Primetime and sorting them out during the rest of the week.

Once I understood this, what I needed to change about my rap became obvious, and my efficiency skyrocketed. My goal during Primetime is to meet chicks, let them know who I am, find out who they are, get contact information (or not), tell them it was nice to meet them, and *BOUNCE* ASAP! >:D

It’s easy to get out of a conversation with a gal if you haven’t been pumping “I want to hook up with you tonight” to her. It’s also easy to hook up with her in the near future if you have contact information for her. Primetime is for meeting as many gals as you can in the shortest amount of time, *NOT* meeting one gal and working on her for hours to see if you can get on.

Downtime

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday are Downtime. That’s the time you can waste putting in extra work on chicks. Nothing better’s going on anyway, so you may as well follow-up on the women you met during Primetime.

Same thing goes for the morning and afternoon hours on Thursday, Friday & Saturday. If you need to put in some “get to know you” time, make sure it’s during Downtime, so you can get it in gear to put in work later on that evening.

What’s going to happen is that chicks are going to want to do Downtime activities during Primetime. Veto that and give her a raincheck for some other Downtime period.

Of course, there are exceptions to all this. >:D .. If you meet a gal that you really believe is exceptional, go ahead and waste all your Primetime on her. Give her all the Downtime too, while you’re at it… If you end up dating her, that’s what your life is going to be like anyway, so there’s no time like the present to get started living that lifestyle.

Since this discussion is about speed, however, stick to the program.. Primetime is for meeting women and Downtime is for cultivating your relationships to them & hooking up.

Speed

So your speed in a rap is derived from your understanding that you only came to the party to meet as many attractive women as you can before the situation is over… Get in, say what you have to say, figure out if she liked it, exchange contact information, bounce.

If it takes you more than 15 minutes to inform a chick why she should remain in contact with you, you need to improve your skillz. 15 minutes per gal = 4 gals per hour. This is why I said The Kid can go +4 or +5 on Facebook in less than an hour.

That’s nothing, really. That doesn’t even approach being impressive.

I can’t even remember the last time I spent 15 minutes talking to the same chick during Primetime, unless I didn’t have anything better to do… meaning that I had my eye on the room, and there weren’t any OTHER chicks I wanted to talk to, so I may as well keep kickin’ it with this one.

Either way, the style is built for immediate ejection (haha, not to be confused with premature ejaculation o_O), so that *IF* I spot a new target, I can excuse myself ASAP and get on the case.

Now that I mention that, your successful and quick ejection is facilitated by getting her contact information SOONER rather than LATER.

Most guys wait until they’re about to leave a gal’s presence before they attempt to “get her number”. This doesn’t work, because when you see that next chick, you might only have a few seconds before some other guy starts chatting her up for the rest of the evening, hoping to score.

You have to be able to drop an exit line, like “Oh.. I see a friend of mine.. Let me catch up with you later.” and BOUNCE immediately. You don’t want to go through the contact information drill *AFTER* you become aware of the new chick. On top of wasting your time, if the next one sees you ‘getting the digits’ from the previous one, that might sabotage your next rap from the giddyap. :D

Another thing that makes speed easy to achieve is that females rarely do anything by themselves. Most of the time you see women, they’re in packs or groups. All you have to do is meet one of them and you get to meet all of them… unless, of course, she’s sweating you and decides to keep you for herself, haha :D

Preparation

The first part of your preparation is “energy”. You have to be in the right frame of mind to put in Primetime-quality work, or it isn’t worth attending the event at all.

I’ve been to parties where I knew 80 people that were in the same venue with me. 30 is typical for me. What that means is that I’m constantly catching up with friends, meeting new people, and changing direction in conversations. The entire evening is basically one continuous blur until we end up in a diner at 4am, winding down. I know how that feels and I know what it takes to rawk a situation like that successfully, so I make sure I build my energy properly beforehand, and if I know I didn’t make it, I don’t go.

The second part is “looking the part”. If I’m going to hang out in Hipster-Brooklyn, I dress differently than if I had been planning to hang out in Manhattan. I still don’t “blend” with hipsters, haha I mean they can all tell I’m not down with their subculture, but at least I’m not showing up like “MANHATTAN, SUNNN!!! AND WHAAAAAA??? >:D”

The third part is “team selection”. You want to either attend the event with guys that are going to make the crew look good and not act like desperados, or girls that are going to befriend other chicks and introduce you to them instead of cockblocking you.

This is a critical aspect as far as speed, because your team serves as your home base, your opportunity for multitasking, and your excuse for quickly exiting a conversation with a gal you’re chatting up… The home base aspect keeps your energy high because you’re relaxed and having a good time, even if you don’t meet anybody new. All you really needed when you came to the party was the person or people you brought. As long as the guy(s) in your group can get girls on their own and you don’t have to babysit them, you might notice that they’re chatting up several chicks across the room while you’re doing nothing of import, and you get to hustle over there and get introduced.

Girls are *ALWAYS* willing to meet new girls… in fact, women are often TOO EFFECTIVE in introducing you to new chicks, to the point that you end up bogged down in conversations you didn’t even plan to have while you were still assessing the room or scheming on how you were going to meet the next gal you were up to on your list. This is partially a by-product of the act-like-we’re-lesbians-to-get-attention-from-guys fad that started over a decade ago. What you need to do in the case of an overly-effective female is inform her where the threshold is of chicks that are “your type”, so she knows not to introduce you if a gal doesn’t make the grade. If you decide to make an exception, you can either text her or walk over and insert yourself into their conversation.

Meanwhile, your teammates need to not be nuisances. Do not get so drunk that I have to spend my time making sure you don’t fall off your bar stool. Do not act belligerently towards people that would otherwise have gone about their business, causing unnecessary arguments, tension & stress. Do not cockblock. Do not act like you’re desperate for chicks (even if you are) and make The Kid look desperate for standing next to you. If you don’t have anything GOOD to say to a female, don’t say anything at all… It’s better FOR ME if you look like an idiot or antisocial than if you look like a JERK, which is going to make it tougher for me to get raps.

Your team is also your excuse for ejecting from a rap. Everybody understands “I’m being rude to my friends, so I should get back to them. :D”. This is way better than saying “I’ve put in enough work with you now, and I just noticed several better-looking chicks that I want to meet, so PEACEBEYOTCH!!! >:D”

Implementation

I had a couple of funny experiences happen, I believe on the same night, when I was hanging out with a reader. I mean, they weren’t funny TO ME, but it was funny, seeing his reaction to what had happened.

The first situation was that I had been hanging out with him at the bar, talking about “this and that, from sneakers to hats”, and out of the blue, this chick walks up to me, introduces herself, chats me up for a few, gives me her number, kisses me on the cheek and leaves.

When she walked away, I picked up my conversation with my friend where we had left off, and he was wondering why I didn’t kick it to her or chase her or try to leave with her. I definitely found her attractive, and I was definitely physically interested in her, but it was Primetime and not Downtime. We had already exchanged contact information. I could have called or texted her later that night, the next day, or I could call her right now, because I still have her number.

Her kickin’ it to me didn’t change Primetime into Downtime, so I was still focused on a) hanging out with my friend and chillin’, and b) meeting any other chicks that might have been interested in me before we left that spot.

The second situation was that the same reader and I went to a different party that this other chick had invited me to, and when I got there, she was making out with some other dude.

I waited for her to get her groove on, eventually approached her as if I had just recently arrived, acted like I didn’t see what I saw, chatted her up, introduced her to my friend, thanked her for the invite and left the party (having already assessed the group and deciding that there weren’t any other chicks there that I had had a good percentage chance of getting a rap to).

That’s how Primetime works. It’s all about the action.. Speed.. Making connections. All that other chick-stuff you can do after 4am or before 8pm.

This is why I understand and appreciate the newjack reader’s comment that he didn’t believe I can get contact information from 4-5 chicks in 60 minutes. If I were still doing things the way I used to do them, I’d be incredulous as well.

In fact, if I see that a chick’s sweating me, and I like her too, the very first thing I say to her might be “Are you on Facebook? >:D”. If she goes for that, I go +1 in one minute and I have another 55 minutes (one hour, less chatting her up for another 4 minutes after we exchange information) to pull the next 3-4 chicks and make my quota.

Also.. This only works if you’re an actually interesting person. I’m not saying I do magic tricks on women and they become hypnotized and give me their numbers. :D I’m saying they can see what I look like, they get to hear what I’m about and there’s enough information on Google (http://www.google.com/#q=Bill – I’m #18) for her to decide whether she wants to hang out with me or not, so I don’t have to waste a lot of time talking to the same chick.

It’s even easier if we happen to be into the same things, like social media, video creation or music production:

Bill Cammack – “Neo vs. Morpheus” by Bill Cammack
Direct Download Link (.mp3) => “Neo vs. Morpheus”

So.. No. I wasn’t kidding. I also wasn’t bragging. I was merely stating basic facts.

I’m glad this came up, though. I haven’t penned an episode of “Hunters” in more than three months, and I’ve enjoyed getting back to the series. >:D
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS Feed

Related Posts

• Dating vs. Hooking Up [Hunters, Part 11]
• Why “Jersey Shore” SUCKED This Season
• Facebook: Should You Add Someone You’re Dating?
• #NOBLOG Status (Plausible Deniability)
• Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]

I love this! haha :D

Teach me how to study!
Can you teach me how to study?
All my teachers love me!
You ain’t messin’ with my STUDY!!! >:D

“Teach me how to Dougie” Remixed by 8th grade students @ Celerity Nascent Charter School located in the heart of Los Angeles.

Concept.. Shot.. Directed.. and Edited by their technology teacher, Mr. Cee (Erik Conley)

YouTube link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZY5Y8Dg5RU

Well Done, Y’all! :D
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS

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I touched on this briefly in “Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]“, but if you’re putting together a crew of dudes to pull chicks or even just working with one other guy, Team Selection is CRITICAL.

Sometimes, the reason you don’t get on is that you doomed yourself from the beginning by selecting the wrong team for the job.

Everybody’s not effective in all situations.

Just like Mission: Impossible, you have to figure out where you’re going, what the atmosphere is, what kind of women go there, which of your wingmen are effective with that particular demographic, and then who amongst that subset of your cronies is most likely to add value to the situation and least likely to fumble.

Jersey Shore

I felt like talking about this today because the ‘Jersey Shore’ dudes have this weirdo style of team-rapping. Every time you see them pull chicks, it’s in pairs. It’s really weird. :D

The problem with always picking up multiple chicks is that you’re multiplying your likelihood of failure. Instead of only having ONE female whose mood you have to regulate, you now have TWO. That’s bad enough to begin with, but then, similar to the Bechdel Test, they’re actually talking to each other, which is just about the worst thing that can happen. :(

So the question becomes “Did you pull the girls from the club because you wanted to mess with them or because you wanted to enjoy some kind of weirdo event with your homeboy where you hook up and he watches you and your girl from 15 feet away while he’s eating a sandwich?”.

As a side note, Vinny deserves props for salvaging his HORRIBLE RAP to Ramona. She seems to be having a very good time with Vinny now, so kudos to him on that! :D

Who Is He?

The first thing you need to know is WHO your wingman is, or perhaps what station he currently occupies in life. This is important because y’all might not be seeing chicks the same way, which could lead to disastrous results.

Let’s say, for instance, that you’re a single dude and you’re hanging out with a dude that’s married (and happens not to cheat on his wife). He’s not seeing any of the girls in your vicinity as potential targets, so he’s liable to do and say some REEEEEEEEEALLY STUPID THINGS.

What difference does it make to him if he alienates the chicks? That has no effect whatsoever on his wife giving him some when he goes home. What difference does it make if he makes himself (and you, by association) look like a JERK?.. None.

No matter what he does, his ability to get laid is insulated. This makes him dangerous and a potential liability to your rap at any stage of the game.

This week, on ‘Jersey Shore’, Pauly pulls these two chicks and they come back to the crib with him and Mike and when they get there, it turns out that Mike’s girl for the night isn’t DTF.

Instead of doing THE RIGHT THING and taking this extra chick to the kitchen or wherever so Pauly can get laid, Mike starts “calling a ho a ho”, which is NEVER good policy.

The LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO is tell a chick that you know she’s easy. Even hoes want to feel like they’re hard to get. YOUR goal in life is to let them believe that long enough for you to hook up with them.

So, not only does Mike call the chick a ho, but he informs her directly (and in front of the OTHER ho) that because she’s not going to perform, she has to get out of his bed right now and chill in the living room. :D HAHAHA Not only did he simultaneously destroy Pauly’s rap by pointing out his girl for the night’s station in life, but what sense did it make for him to kick the other chick out of the room and remain in the room HIMSELF, spectating Pauly’s action?

Actually, this brings me to the next section..

How Desperate Is He?

Desperation is a good trait in a wingman.. to a degree. You want your teammate to be rather interested in pulling new chicks for tonight because that’s what the game’s all about. If you teamed up with the married dude, he might not be hungry enough to be effective, AND will probably end up being a liability as I mentioned earlier.

OTOH.. You don’t want dude to be so desperate that he loses his mind and forgets what the goal of the evening is. The goal is not for the two of youse as a TEAM to get laid. After you extract the chicks from the club, it’s every man for himself. If your girl fronts, it’s your job to keep her from cockblocking your boy, because that’s what you want him to do for you on that night that will be coming up soon where your girl is DTF and his isn’t.

If you look at Mike’s behavior, it’s just stupid. What did he suspect was going to happen when he told the chick essentially “If you’re not giving it up, get out of my bed AND get out of my room, because the only reason I invited you over was to **** you”? :D haha Did he think she was going to go “Oh.. Damn.. You’re right about that.. My Bad! :/” and lay down and give it up?

That’s absolutely ridiculous, so in dissing her by telling her that her only value to him was the late-night hookup, all he did was simultaneously destroy Pauly’s rap too. If you’re calling the chick that WOULDN’T hook up with you a ho and kicking her out of bed, what does that make her homegirl feel like that’s still laying down with Pauly? o_O

So you want your wingman to be desperate enough to put in good work, but you DON’T want him to be so desperate that he catches feelings for not getting laid and ruins the night for YOU in the process.

What’s His Style?

If you’re going to Brooklyn, bring a hipster with you. If you’re going to an upscale Manhattan club, bring a dude in a suit that has class & style and won’t be intimidated by quality women. If you’re going to a ghetto party or social club, bring a ghetto dude.

“Styles Make Fights”. You have to select the proper team member(s) for each mission. Bringing the ghetto dude to the hipster party does you no good. Bringing the hipster to the Manhattan party does you no good.

Basically, you want your team to blend into the surroundings but simultaneously have an edge over other squads that are trying to pull the same girls. At the end of the day, women are women, or, how do they say?.. “All cats are grey in the dark”. Regardless of whatever your wingman’s style of dress or demeanor is, if he doesn’t know how to deal with women in general, you’re pretty much screwed. You might actually do better by bringing the ghetto guy that knows his way around women to the hipster party than bringing a dude that looks the part but isn’t contributing JACK-**** to the team getting on.

How Does He Pull Girls?

It’s very important to know what it is about a potential teammate that the ladies like. It’s also important to know what skillz he’s bringing to the table that help him to bypass roadblocks.

For instance.. Mike gets girls because of his stomach. No chick has ever called him handsome in the history of ‘Jersey Shore’. No chick has ever complimented him on his gift of gab. Every time you see girls around him in the club, it’s because he’s lifting his shirt and letting them touch his stomach. In the entire.. what?.. 22 episodes over two seasons of ‘Jersey Shore’, I’ve never seen Mike salvage a rap by talking the chick into hooking up with him. If she’s not DTF because of his body and/or because he’s a reality television star, it seems like he can’t pull a non-grenade to save his life.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but you have to recognize that that’s what he’s bringing to the table as a wingman. It’s like the strong guy on Mission: Impossible. You didn’t hire him to program any computers. You didn’t hire him to do any good acting. You hired him to lift things and beat people up. That was his job, because that’s what he was good for.

Similarly.. If you’re going to a club where girls give it up because a guy works out a lot, bring Mike. If you’re going to a hotel bar to meet women that expect intelligent & stimulating conversation, DO NOT bring Mike. :D

In fact, this is what confused me about the entire second season of ‘Jersey Shore’. The name of the show is…. JERSEY… SHORE… How in the **** are you going to film a season in Miami? Their style doesn’t even play well in Miami. It only works at Seaside Heights, New Jersey, and MAAAAAAYBE out on Long Island. That’s like making a show called “Harlem World” and filming the second season in the Lower East Side, or Kansas for that matter. It doesn’t make any sense.

Of course, they probably ended up calling it ‘Jersey Shore’ because all the other names they wanted to use for the show got rejected. \o/

Anyway.. If you’re going out with intelligent women, don’t bring a ditzy bodybuilding dude to back you up. If you’re going out with girls that are looking for “Gorilla Juice-Heads”, don’t bring a scrawny, artsy, intellectual dude with no physique.

It’s your job to bring dudes with you that the women you’re trying to hook up with are going to like just as much as it’s your job to find chicks that your boys are going to want to try to bring back to the hot tub.

Two Strikes, And You’re Out!

I’ve paid my dues. I’ve put in my *HOURS* of sitting around, chatting up chicks I didn’t give a flying **** about so my boy could screw her girlfriend in another room.

That’s probably why I don’t have any sympathy for these lame situations. It’s very simple. The goal is for everyone on the team to have a “good night”. If it works out that one dude pulls a DTF chick and someone else doesn’t, rally ’round the ******* FLAG and help your boy do what he’s trying to do.

One of these days, YOU’RE gonna be the only guy that pulled a viable chick and you’re going to appreciate your comrades assisting your efforts to reach The Dragon’s Lair.

Pretty much, a dude should be allowed to jack up your rap TWICE, maximum. The first time is when you didn’t know he was so stupid as to say or do what he did that made the girls scowl and scamper away instead of handing out contact information. The second time is after you TELL HIM WHAT HE DID WRONG and tell him how to fix it and inform him that you don’t intend to be cockblocked by his ridiculous antics ever again.

If he screws it up after that, don’t invite him on missions anymore. If he shows up by accident, distance yourself from him so you don’t suffer from guilt by association.

As much hard work as you put into crafting your image and demeanor, if you don’t surround yourself with the correct teammates, it’s all for naught because someone else is going to kick a hole in the boat and sink your rap for you.

If you don’t know what someone’s going to do or you suspect he’s going to do the wrong thing, you’re probably better off going solo and hannlin’ yo bidnezz on your own… You know what they say… “If you want something done right….” >:D
–
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ok… Last we left off, in “How To NOT Get A Date”, our hero Vinny had kicked game to a girl that shakes her ass for money in a club.

Basically, what Vinny received from the chick was a number to get him out of her face. Women don’t enjoy conflict, which is why there are more guys fighting in the UFC than… ok… There are ZERO women fighting in the UFC, but they have a few women fighting each other on wack promotions like Showtime Strikeforce and Bodog and other low-level garbage like that.

The point is that women in general avoid conflict, so if you step to them and request a number, they’re very likely to give you a fake number so that by the time you find out that they juked you, you’re not standing right in front of them anymore and they don’t have to deal with you if you catch an attitude about it.

You would think she would just say “I don’t feel like kickin’ it to you, so you can’t have my number”, but it doesn’t work like that. Pulling a chick’s number doesn’t indicate that you’re any closer at all to getting laid by her.

In fact, even *I* have a fake number. >:D That’s not to avoid conflict, but because you can’t always tell off the bat if a chick is Kray-Zay, so it’s good to be able to screen and/or delete her if you need to.

Quality Women

So, Anyway… Vinny raps to this chick that shakes her ass for money in a club and she gives him her number. Meanwhile, Pauly gets a real rap to a real chick…

That’s not to say that strippers/dancers/hookers/whatever aren’t “real”. I’m saying that they’re *WORKING*. You are a MARK.. a JOHN.. a CUSTOMER. You represent a source of income for them. Your value is the amount of money you’re going to spend on them. Vinny kicked it to a worker. Pauly kicked it to a patron of the same establishment, a customer just like him, a gal that showed up to party, drink and meet guys. If it had been McDonald’s, Pauly would have kicked it to the girl on line in front of him and Vinny kicked it to the cashier or the chick working the fries.

The strange thing about this situation is that all of a sudden, BOTH GUYS are talking about how QUALITY the girls they met are. They call them “Two of the rarest roses in Miami”. The reason this is strange is that for the entire first season of ‘Jersey Shore’ and all the way up until this episode, they’ve been snapping on Ronnie for selling out and hooking up with Sammi and not pulling any other chicks for the whole season.

I don’t think this is a normal situation. Most of the time, when guys make a career out of picking up late-night drunk chicks to take back to the hot tub, that’s because that’s what they LIKE to do. I suppose it’s possible that while you’re playing the field, you could run into a gal that really makes you feel like settling down, but this was an interesting and unexpected turn of events which MTV didn’t bother to do any character development on. Nobody knows what prompted this change of heart because it was left out of the edit. Regardless.. Pauly & Vinny decide to erase their names from the [hookup] board…

Keeping Stats

Interestingly enough, this was the first time in the edit that MTV elected to show the hookup board. I’ve seen every second of every episode so far and wasn’t aware that the fellaz were keeping chalkboard stats on how many girls they bagged.

Keeping stats is strictly amateur, but you don’t realize that until you become a pro. Where do you stop counting? 5 chicks? 20 chicks? 100 chicks?…

I’m absolutely amazed when I run into dudes that can tell me with a straight face that they’ve had sex with 124 girls. I’m like “Dude… You’re still counting? o_O”

I mean, where do you keep stats like this, and why?.. Like Pauly said about dropping out of the game, “We’ve proven our point. We can get girls anytime we want to”. It’s like can you count how many times you ate dinner? How many times you drank water? Are you counting how many days you woke up in the morning? :D

In the movie/documentary “American Pimp”, Bishop Don Magic Juan says [paraphrasing] “If you can count how much money you have, you don’t have much”. The same sentiment applies to women.

I remember even as a kid, when dudes would be rattling off all these names of chicks they hooked up with, I was like “How in the hell does this guy REMEMBER all these chicks’ names? :D .. Is he writing this down in a diary or something? There’s no way he actually remembers hooking up with all these chicks off the top of his head. Can you also tell me the location of every McDonald’s you’ve walked into over the last 5 years? I doubt it. :D

Also.. If you’re going to keep stats, shouldn’t there be a parameter for the quality of the chicks? o_O It seems to me that as much as they’ve been snapping on Mike for being willing to hook up with ANY chick he could get his hands on and as much as they snapped on Vinny for hooking up with Nicole AND Angelina (Even though Pauly & Mike can’t say much, because THEY hooked up with Angelina before as well), that there would be some kind of quality threshold below which hooking up with a chick doesn’t count for your stats?

I wish we knew how that board worked! haha It should have been that the other guys definitely had to see the chick in question and then the non-participants got to decide whether the chick counted or not, like if she had been too unattractive or too desperate or too drunk, you don’t get any credit.

Anyway.. We all know that they removed their names so they didn’t look like whores if they got these quality girls to come to the house. Most guys like to hide the fact that they utilize women for sport & entertainment when they attempt to bag actual girlfriends. :D

Dating vs. Hooking Up

So Pauly says about the girl he met: “She’s not a girl that you take home and smash one night… She’s like a Wifey type.. Some girl you bring home to your mother.” This means it’s time for the fellaz to take these gals out on dates.

This brings up all kinds of problems, as I mentioned in the previous post, but the main problem, again, is that Pauly kicked it to a real girl and Vinny didn’t.

Another problem is that dating is different from hooking up. If you’re the type of guy that can hook up without going on dates, you don’t bother with them. Dates are a waste of time, because you’re only going out with the chick to eventually get to the nitty-gritty. If you can get the sex without the date, \o/

This means that you don’t have any PRACTICE going on dates when you actually need it. This also means that you don’t have any practice REQUESTING a woman’s presence for dinner or a movie, for example.

Dating requires a little more skill than GTL and making sure you kick it to girls that are already drunk and sweating you for how you look. ;)

For some odd reason which wasn’t explained in the edit, they decide to go on a double-date together with these new gals. This was probably Vinny’s idea and Pauly decided to back his play.

Pauly tells Vinny to ask his girl first for the obvious reason that Pauly knows damned well that HIS girl is going to go wherever he asks her to go because she’s feelin’ him. The only wildcard here is Vinny’s girl.

Vinny Up To Bat… Again!

So Vinny hops on the phone and calls this “dancer” chick. She picks up the phone and he informs her who’s calling and asks her what she’s doing tonight. That was BY FAR the best part of his entire rap to her. :) Simple, Effective, To-The-Point.

Her response is good too: “Tonight? I have no plans”. That’s the green light, right thurrrr. That’s the opening Vinny needed to let her know what he’d like for her to do with her evening.

Unfortunately, this is where Vinny permanently fumbles the rap:

“Um… If you want, my friend, um… I don’t know if you know my friend Pauly, with the spiky hair?… We might go to like a… little restaurant and then maybe… out afterwards?… He might um… call some girl, and… I need like a sympathy date, you know what I mean? ‘Cause I don’t wanna be left out, so… You know… If you wanna do me that… that favor?”

um…. WHAT? :D

First of all, Vinny was clearly scared to death that she wouldn’t accept his invitation. Second, he didn’t sound like he REALLY wanted to go out with her…. A “Sympathy Date”? Could she “do him that favor”? WHAT? :D

The point of getting a chick’s number is that YOU have plans about what YOU want to do with her. Her SPECIFICALLY. You aren’t calling her to be a fill-in because you happen to not have any random chicks available to you to go on a double date with your homeboy and “some girl”. “Some Girl”? haha Are you inviting “Some Girl” too?

I can’t tell, because it was a good edit, but they switch cameras between when he says “It’s Vinny” and “um.. What are you doing?”. They cover the bridge with audio of the chick saying “Hey! :)”. The only reason I wanted to bring that up is that they might have cut out part of the dialogue there, such as the girl saying “Vinny who?” and Vinny saying “The guy from the club last night blah blah blah” in order to refresh her memory.

If that’s the case, it’s also possible that amongst the myriad guys that kicked game to her the night before (just like happens to her EVERY night that she’s working), she wasn’t entirely sure who she was talking to. Maybe there were several dudes named Vinny that she met. Maybe she forgot some guys’ names from last night and was assuming she knew who was asking her out. We don’t know… What we DO know is that Vinny didn’t sound confident at all. He didn’t sound like he takes chicks out all the time and is inviting her out for what he knows damned well is going to be a good time for her.

In fact, he didn’t offer her *ANY* personal incentive to go out with him at all. Everything he said was “I need this” and “I need that” and “I don’t want to be left out” and “I need a sympathy date”. What about her? What’s SHE going to get out of it, other than an implied free meal at “a little restaurant” that you “like, might go to and then MAYBE go out afterwards”?

Hannle Yo Bidnezz

Step up to the ******* plate and tell her what you want.

“What’s up? It’s me. If you don’t have anything planned later, I’d like to buy you dinner.” That’s it. That’s all. Tell her what you want and then STFU.

If she’s interested, THEN you throw in that you have some more plans for the evening if it turns out that she wants to hang out with you after dinner. Case Closed. Problem Solved.

Everything’s included. What’s in it for you is that you get to spend time with her at dinner. What’s in it for her is that she gets to eat for free. The potential fringe benefit is that if both of y’all enjoy dinner together, you might do more fun / exciting / sexy stuff later.

DO NOT bring up your friend, Pauly.
DO NOT say you want to take her on a double-date as your first encounter outside of her JOB, where you kicked game to her in the first place.
DO NOT say that your friend is inviting “Some Girl”.
DO NOT ask her to come along so you don’t have to sit next to a blow-up doll at dinner.

In Fact… What Vinny said doesn’t make any sense at all. If you and your homeboy plan to go on a double-date and you can’t get a girl, you know what that means?… That’s right. YOU stay THE **** HOME, and your boy goes on a REGULAR DATE with HIS girl. There’s no such thing as “I don’t want to be left out, so could you do me the favor of coming on this double-date with me” because the DOUBLE part doesn’t even exist until both of youse procure females.

To be fair, I invite women places all the time.

In fact, it’s extremely rare that I go anywhere at all without knowing which gal(s) I’m going to be spending time with.

That’s not “sympathy”. That’s called not taking any chances as far as whether I’m going to enjoy myself or not.

The wording is something to the effect of “I’m going to XYZ on such-and-such a day. You wanna come with?”. Period.

I want her to go. If she wants to go, it’s a wrap. If she doesn’t want to go, I have to call another chick, go by myself or not go at all.

I’m not going to be like “Well, um… you see… what had *HAPPENED* WAS.. I have to go to this thing, and.. it’s like in lower Manhattan on Tuesday evening and I was wondering if, maybe… I mean, if you didn’t have anything planned that night… I’m pretty sure I’m going to be bored to death if I have to hang out with the people on the Facebook invite list, so I was thinking that… well, you know… hanging out with you is USUALLY better than doing nothing at all, so I was wondering… if maybe…..”

GEEEEEEEEEET THE **** OUTTA HERE!!! :D HAHAHAHA

Easy Come, Easy Go

So Vinny stumbles and bumbles his way through asking this chick out and she says “alright” and also hits him with an “ok, sweetheart” when he says he’ll call her a little later. This results in Vinny celebrating and breakdancing, similar to when your character wins a race in ‘Super Mario Kart’. Pauly invites his girl out as well and the double-date is ON and POPPIN’! :D

They make a reservation for 4 at the restaurant.
They spend money on getting their hair freshly cut.
They spend money on new outfits specifically for tonight’s date.
They spend money on bouquets of flowers to give to the ladies.

So after all this, Vinny gets a call from the chick, where she hits him with another “Hey, Sweetheart! :D” and then proceeds to go “Hey.. Listen, um… I.. um.. yeah… I…” then they cut the video again, but basically, she’s informing Vinny that she won’t be coming with him to dinner tonight. She never actually SAYS that she’s not coming, so that must have gotten cut out with whatever other dialogue transpired between them on that call. Whatever she said, Vinny goes “Alright, I understand” and hangs up the phone on her.

A few things could have happened in between when she said “Yes” and when she said “No”.

She might have remembered who he actually was and decided that she didn’t actually want to go out with him.

She might have gotten a better offer, such as “Let me pick you up in the limo and take you to such-and-such expensive restaurant and then we’re going to a private party at a hotel bar” and was like “Later for this um, uh, er, we might, maybe” garbage.

She could have decided that staying home and watching television sounded like more fun than what Vinny had described to her.

She might have been contacted by the MTV staff and told that she needed to sign a release to go on the date with Vinny so that whatever happened on the date, MTV had the rights to broadcast it, and decided she wasn’t interested in that.

Whatever happened, the “double-date” turned into a single date. This is because Pauly’s girl actually wanted to spend time with him and Vinny’s didn’t give a flying ****.

To Fast-Forward.. Vinny sulks for a while, then gets on the phone and asks her to reconsider, to which she finally replies “I’ll see”, which Vinny takes to mean “I’ll see you there”. He gets happy again and gets dressed up to receive a no-show from the chick AS WELL AS her not picking up the phone next time he called, since, obviously, his number was showing up on Caller ID.

Luck vs. Practice

Basically.. The point is that asking women out on dates isn’t about luck and charity for you. It’s about having something she wants or being the type of person she wants to spend time with and then clearly offering her what she already knows she wants.

Even if you’re dressed the right way, acting the right way and saying the right things, there’s STILL no guarantee that you’re going to score a date with a chick that appears to be enjoying your company. Getting her attention is the BEGINNING of your process, not anywhere near the end, where you get to coast to the Nitty-Gritty.

Also.. You don’t practice for shooting bears by shooting rabbits. Picking up drunk & horny girls in a club that would have hooked up with any guy that asked them to isn’t practice for asking out a gal that really matters to you. You don’t get to suddenly be some dashing, debonaire guy that holds doors for women and puts down cloaks over puddles.

Dating is on-the-job training. If you don’t know any gals that you consider worth dating then select a few women you don’t even want to kick it to and buy them dinner. Take them to a movie. Walk with them in the park. Do SOMETHING so that when it’s time for you to ask a chick out FOR REAL, you sound confident that you’re going to show her a good time instead of sounding like “um, er, um, well, um…”.

You also need to stop kickin’ it to chicks at their jobs as if you met them at a friend’s apartment party. Your connection to her is customer-worker, not customer-customer. Whatever she has to tell you to keep her job is what she’s gonna say and then, when it’s time for the date, you’ll catch the brush-off in the privacy of your own home.

It’s better to drop her YOUR number and offer her the opportunity to call you if she likes. If she actually contacts you, you have a much better chance of actually getting a date out of it instead of a conversation filled with a bunch of “Sweethearts” and no action.

Just like the gals need to know what guys want from them, coughusuallysexcough, you have to know what you’re bringing to the table and what she’s looking for BEFORE you ask her out so you know the right things to tell her.

If you don’t know why some chick would want to go out with you, it’s highly likely that SHE doesn’t know why she’d want to go out with you either.

Related Posts

• Speed, Primetime, & Downtime [Hunters, Part 15]
• How To NOT Get A Date [Hunters, Part 10]
• Nobody’s Created Equal [Hunters, Part 09]
• Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]
• Appreciate Your Girlfriend