Life Isn’t Fair

OK Fellaz, let’s get down to brass tacks here.

The way “dating” is set up in patriarchal society, it’s up to YOU, as the guy, to run the show. YOU kick it to the chick, she decides whether to give you some or not. You make the money. You make the decisions. You’re the “head of household”. No matter how much this society tries to make you into women, you’re *NOT*, so get over it and handle your business when it comes to chicks.

Having said that….. Since it’s YOUR responsibility to pull the chick, it’s YOUR responsiblity to be FLY! That’s a slang term meaning VERY GOOD in general, but in this case, we’re talking about your overall presentation. We’re talking about how you look, how you act, what shape you’re in, how ambitous you are in your career, how you handle your money… Top to Bottom, you have to be better than the next man if you think you’re going to get the rap to some chick.


You are not ENTITLED to a girlfriend.
You are not ENTITLED to have any female friends AT ALL.
You are not ENTITLED to have sex with a chick even if she likes hanging out with you.
You are not ENTITLED to have instant messenger text or video chats with chicks.
You are not ENTITLED to responses to your emails or direct messages.
You *ARE* entitled to….. *NOTHING*. πŸ˜€

All men are NOT created equal. We may have been born through the same process, but some of us have distinct advantages over others. Go look up Alpha Males, Beta Males and Omega Males. If you’re a natural, chicks just like you and that’s that. You can do whatever you want, such as write blog posts that talk yang about males and females AT THE SAME TIME, and you will still have girls attracted to you just by walking in the door. Life Isn’t Fair. πŸ˜€

The problem with Omega Males is that they refuse to correctly perceive themselves as the bottom of the barrel. They think to themselves “That good-looking, in-shape, well-educated, friendly, gregarious, charming, well-spoken guy over there can get girls…. so can I!” BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Wrong.

The first thing Omega Males need to do is realize their position in life. It’s like going to Alcoholics Anonymous. Unless you admit you have a problem, you’ll never go for treatment. The first step is admitting that YOU’RE WACK! … Say it with me now… “I am wack”. See? Don’t you feel better now? πŸ˜€ NOW we can get to the part where you attempt to overcome your deficiencies. See, by thinking you’re the same as guys that women actually WANT to talk to them, you’re doing yourself a disservice because you’re not trying as hard as *YOU* need to in order to pull a decent female. Then, when the chick cuts off communications with you, you try to blame it on her. You want to say she’s fickle or a tease or she led you on. Let me let you in on a little secret…..

Chicks in general are non-confrontational. You would think that’s a good thing, but it isn’t… not for YOU. It’s good for guys that girls WANT, because you say “let’s get out of here ;)” and she says “ok” and it’s on and poppin’. The problem for YOU is that she never wanted to talk to you in the first place. She saw you come in the door. She saw you on the dance floor. She saw you post up in her area. She saw you looking out the corner of your eye to try to gauge if you’d be successful in rapping to her or not. She knew what you wanted when you asked her what time it is or if she’d like to dance. She knew you were going to try to get on. She knew you would ask her for her number…..

This is where the non-confrontational part comes in. She will do one of three things. She will inform you that she’s not going to give you her number, she will give you a fake number or she will give you a real number.

If she tells you “no” from the get, she’s going to have to listen to you whining and trying to change her mind.

If she gives you a fake number, she takes the risk that you will call her immediately and realize that you connected to Pizza Hut. More whining from you and trying to change her mind. On top of that, she looks like an IDIOT because she “doesn’t know her own telephone number”. Now, she has to either tell you “no” or give up the real number.

If she gives you the real number, it’s still a trap. πŸ™‚ There are only two ways you can call her. With or without Caller ID. If you call her with your number blocked, she’s going to let it go to the machine, because she DOESN’T know who’s calling her. If you call her with your number showing, she’s going to let it go to the machine because she DOES know who’s calling her… Or, to put it another way, she knows it’s not anybody calling whom she actually picks up the phone for.

All paths here lead to frustration. The only way around this is to realize that YOU’RE WACK and start on the road to self-improvement. Let’s look at what you can do to make yourself less loathsome to chicks. πŸ˜€

Improve your vocabulary. Go research the difference between “their” and “there”, and “your” and “you’re”. If this chick accidentally has a kid with you, she’s going to want the kid to be SMART, not STUPID.

Stop using primitive tactics to try to pull her. By using the same AMATEUR skillz that get you on with short-bus girls at the club, you’re demeaning the woman you’re kicking it to. She can’t believe that YOU believe you’re going to get on with such garbage. She feels low-rated and is less likely to give it up, so figure out how to step up your game, playah.

Stop trying to hide your kids. This is the United States of America. It’s very easy to find out that you have kids…. and a wife too, for that matter. Stop faking the funk. If you’re trying to get some on the side, “man up” about it. You might get turned down off the bat, but at least she respects you for not trying to get over.

If you’re *BITTER* about everything, KEEP. IT. TO. YOURSELF! πŸ˜€ Nobody’s interested in what you think you’re entitled to or how mad you are that you don’t have what the next man has. Suck it up, put a SMILE on your face, and show the chick a good time.

Go. To. The. Gym. You want to be in GOOD shape so that she’s HOPING you take your clothes off instead of DREADING the concept. πŸ™ You don’t want her to start singing the Fat Albert theme song when you emerge from the bathroom in your boxers.

If you’re NOT going to get in shape, at least DRESS WELL! Buy one of those hip-hop graffiti shirts so you look like a wall or an old-school subway car.

Watch black and white movies. Guys don’t know how to treat the ladies anymore. You have to watch old movies to receive the essence of male elegance and character.

And, the *most* important thing is to step to her “on the humble”. Do *NOT* act like you’re entitled to have her talk to you, text with you, email with you, video chat with you, dance with you, go home with you… NONE OF THAT. Just let her know you appreciate how she looks and you’d like to get to know more about her, then cross your fingers! πŸ˜€




Here’s the deal, fellaz… Kicking it to chicks is a PROCESS. It takes TIME. It takes TECHNIQUE! πŸ˜€

If you’re running game @ a party, and you find yourself chickless @ 2:30am, you are now in PANIC-MODE. DEFCON-1!!! [wikipedia: This refers to maximum readiness. It is not certain whether this has ever been used, but it is reserved for imminent or ongoing attack on US military forces or US territory by a foreign military power. Use of nuclear weapons is authorized. (State of Emergency.)] It’s time to do one of two things… Step up your game…. or GO HOME AND TRY AGAIN IN THE MORNING!

Do NOT… I repeat… DO NOT SIT ON COUCHES using your regular sap-rap to chicks after 2am. :/ It’s too late for that. You don’t have time for all that “what do you do?” and “where are you from?” garbage. It’s not 2 in the afternoon… it’s 2 in the morning, and it’s time for you to put up or shut up. Let her know what you want and either get on or go home. Period.

I mean, think about it… Do you think she doesn’t KNOW what you’re trying to do, effin’ SOCIALIZING with her @ 2am? Most people in this town have been asleep for hours, but noooooo… here you are, sitting on a couch with this girl you just met, talking about birds and flowers and trees. Talking about how you grew up in XYZ country and how you love poetry and politics. $#*^((@ that! She knows you’re trying to get on. Everybody else at the party knows you’re trying to get on. The only one being fooled is YOU! Stop wasting your time, and get to the point. She’s with it or she’s not with it. Find out what time it is, ASAP.

This is the point… The girls you can “pick up” @ 2am….. are the girls you can pick up @ 2am! πŸ˜€ Capisce? If you can get her starting that late at night, you don’t have to put in any work. Just offer her something, and if she wants it, she’ll take it. It’s too late to act like you met her standing on line @ Shake Shack or sitting at a table in Bryant Park @ lunchtime. Nope. It’s 2am… EVERYBODY knows what time it is and what you’re trying to do. Stop pulling the wool over your own eyes and either press up on her or GET.UP.OFF.THAT.COUCH and call yourself a cab home.


Episode 02 In The Can

My lines are done for “The Lab” Episode 02. It wasn’t as ‘bad’ as doing the lines for Episode 01, but now I know why actors take so many drugs. There’s a positive high that comes with ‘wrapping’. There’s also a negative drain on your system as you release the character you were portraying for the last however-long. In my case, it was ‘only’ an hour. It was an hour for Episode 01 also, but for different reasons.

Last time, I had no idea about the process I was getting involved in and just jumped in, resulting in the max-headroom-esque video style that I used to edit sentences out of various takes that I did over the course of the hour. This time, I knew what I was out to do, so I had notes ready and I had spent the better part of the day before writing, practicing and revising my lines to match what I already had from Brainy and selecting more clips to bridge from my comments to hers.

Anyway… When I was done with my lines, I was simultaneously elated and depressed. That was after only one hour of being in character. From what I hear, some people do 16-hour days as actors. I can’t yet imagine what it feels like to come back to reality after ‘being under’ for that long. I’ve edited for 16 hours straight… more than that, even… but I don’t have to “be somebody” while I’m editing. Actually, the thing about editing is that you have to “be NOBODY” and devote yourself to the process. After a full day (or double) of editing, I feel like I haven’t been myself in HOURS. I recognize now that that’s a different feeling from “being someone else” for hours.

The reason I call it “being someone else” is that you’re not talking to ANYBODY AT ALL! NOBODY! You’re looking into a lens and remembering to deliver lines AS IF you’re talking to someone, perhaps someone in particular. You’re delivering lines AS IF you think this clip is amusing that you already saw 85 times when you were deciding whether it goes in the piece or not. You’re delivering lines AS IF you just watched the clip, so you’re basically working off of memory and emulation of having seen the clip. I’m reminded of “300”, which I saw @ the IMAX and was really good, if you’re into warrior-type stuff. All of those backdrops were bluescreened in. The actors had to PRETEND that there were ships being destroyed in the water and that there were thousands of guys rushing them with swords and axes. All they were looking at was a blue screen, and MAYBE some actual terrain under their feet.

Anyway, I’m glad that’s over. Now I get to try to load my scenes and finish the piece in the next five hours so I can meet up with Masako and head over to Bre’s party.