Jessica Simpson & The Everlasting Gobstopper

Now… We already went over this in “How to dress your girlfriend”, but we need to revisit the topic, thanks to this Jessica Simpson situation.

Ladies… Do yourselves a favor. This is 2009 and we’re living the Social Media life now, so you never know when “Photo Ops” are gonna come up. Make sure that juuuuuust in case, you’re at the top of your game when you step out the door.

Obviously, this is even MORE IMPORTANT if you’re a celebrity and you’re going to be on stage in front of people with cameras. It’s even MORE important if you used to be FOYINE, and now you’re not. We’ll get to that later. ๐Ÿ™‚

Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about Jessica Simpson, how her body used to look and how it looks right now. Clearly, she’s put on a GANG of weight, but she could have avoided most of the tabloid chatter if she had dressed properly for her new shape.

Now, all of y’all have been to the ghetto at some point, or at least you’ve seen one of the millions of ghetto movies that Hollywood likes to make, so you know that there are lots of chicks out there with…. more bounce to the ounce… that accessorize and do what they can to look as fly as possible. This is because they know what size they are and they know what to do with that.

Play It Where It Lies

OTOH, there are tons lots of chicks that aren’t aware that they look differently now than when they were slim and they try to dress the same way they used to. No Good. The only reason that stuff worked for you *before* was that guys would have liked to see you with ANY clothes on or with NO clothes on. At this point in time, it’s critical to “leave something (or, a lot) to the imagination”. Continue reading “Jessica Simpson & The Everlasting Gobstopper”

Top Ten Valentineโ€™s Day DONโ€™Ts!

Lindz & Bill return just in time to save your relationship with the Top Ten Valentine’s Day DON’Ts!!!

1. Don’t FORGET

B: If Saturday, February 14th, 2009 rolls around and you’re Cold Lampin’ on the couch with the remote, your brew and some chips, you just blew it. Valentine’s Day will either make or break your coming year with your girl. Whatever you do or don’t do, she’s going to carry that with her for MONTHS.

You still have two weeks left, so think ahead… If you need to hit Chinatown and put that bracelet on layaway… make it happen. Also, make those restaurant reservations NOW! You’ll never hear the end of it if y’all get jerked at the door and you end up in the bootleg, sharing a 40 and a snack box for V-Day dinner.

L: Totally. Once I dated this guy who forgot about Valentines Day… and took me to a crappy diner. Meanwhile the whole time I’m thinking is, “is this guy for real?” As if I am going to fall for that BS. I dumped him immediately. Ladies, if this happens to you, its not only a jerk move, but its an indication of your future. Right now he’s forgetting about Valentine’s Day, but soon it will be your birthday, you date on Saturday night, the money he owed you for rent, the ice cream bars you asked him to pick up from the store, the list goes on.

2. Don’t order first

B: When the waitress comes over, don’t go “YEAH, I WOULD LIKE…..” Show some class, and let the lady order first. If she’s not ready, tell the waitress you need some more time. NEVER order first. DO. NOT. ORDER. FIRST! hahaha ๐Ÿ˜€ If she insists that you order first, stay shut. This is absolutely non-negotiable. If you order first on your own, you’re a neanderthal. If you let her PRESSURE YOU into ordering first, you’re a wuss. Neither one is good, so keep it SHUT until she orders.

Don’t overdo it, though. Some guys like to try and order FOR their women. No good. Unless you know what she likes, AND what she wants right now, don’t do it. The only way to be guaranteed of doing this properly is if you ASK HER what she wants, and when the waitress comes over, you inform her “The Lady Will Have…” and order your food AFTER she takes your girlfriend’s order.

PS – I know it will be a waitress, because they don’t hire waiters in Hooters.

L: On that note, if your man takes you to Hooters, (sorry Bill), refer to #1 and D-U-M-P. Unless of course, you love hooters or you’re a hooters girl and you have to work on Valentine’s Day. If you jump the gun and order before her, that translates to, she’s just another ‘friend’ and you’re not a gentleman. Let her order first, even if it takes 10 minutes and you know what you want. On that note, open doors… ALWAYS.

3. Don’t take her to the sports bar

Continue reading “Top Ten Valentineโ€™s Day DONโ€™Ts!”

Analyzing “The Rules”ย [Part 03]

Continued from Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 01] & Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 02]

Reader Steve asked for a tactics post in the DatingGenius Suggestion Box, so I thought I’d critique the Top 10 Rules.

7) If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period.

This is a high-percentage possibility. There are also a few low-percentage possibilities:

1) He was drunk when he met you so when he looked at your number he couldn’t remember what you looked like or what you talked about that evening.
2) He’s trying to look “in demand” just like YOU ARE by following “rules”, so he’s avoiding calling you so quickly that he looks like he’s riding your bra strap.
3) He met six other chicks that night and hasn’t gotten around to you yet, in decreasing order of physical attractiveness.
4) You wrote your number on his hand, and his drunk ass washed his hands before he sobered up.
5) You wrote your number on a napkin and he blew his nose with it and threw it away by accident.
6) His girlfriend found your number in his phone and erased it.
7) His pre-paid cellphone ran out of minutes, and he has to wait until payday to get another phone.
8) He saw your Facebook pictures and changed his mind. Continue reading “Analyzing “The Rules”ย [Part 03]”

Sexless Marriage? AWWW HELLLS NAW!!!

There’s a post on the website MomLogic entitled “Married Women Hate Sex”. They surveyed 2500 married women and found that “50% of women find sex either depressing, embarrassing or a hassle”… smh :/

Sexless Marriage

Here are some other interesting percentages from their survey:

  • 77% of the women claim their sex life is somewhat to very important to them
  • 54% of married women admit they’re the ones who don’t want to have sex
  • 26% of the women surveyed say their sex lives took a turn for the worst after they had children
  • According to 29% of married women, they’re just too tired
  • 24% would rather take a bubble bath
  • 26% would rather read a book
    NOW YOU KNOW a brotha had to STOP. RIGHT. THERE. when I read “26% would rather read a book! ๐Ÿ˜€ For those of you not hip to the DatingGenius vault of golden oldies, I wrote Take her to the Book Store! over a year ago, on November 10, 2007 after I had heard one of the funniest and most ridiculous things I had heard in quite a while. ๐Ÿ™‚ Continue reading “Sexless Marriage? AWWW HELLLS NAW!!!”

    How Much Does It Cost To Borrow Your Brand?

    My friend Chris Brogan has inadvertently caused a stir. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Chris Brogan & Bill Cammack

    From the little I’ve read about the situation, (you can read about it yourself, on Chris’ site) basically, he accepted a $500 gift card from Kmart to write a blog post about Kmart. He was completely transparent that he was writing a sponsored blog post. As part of the deal, he also received the opportunity to give away a second $500 Kmart gift card. Here’s what Chris says he did with the money:

    “I realized really quickly that I could do two good things while satisfying the project request: I could give someone else a $500 gift card for the holidays, and I could use my shopping experience to buy toys for the Toys for Tots program. (My kids kept the jackets and my boy kept some pants.)”

    This kind of thing was discussed AT LENGTH exactly one year ago, when Cheryl Colan made a post questioning Steve Woolf & Zadi Diaz‘s sponsorship & advertising practices with regard to their show Epic-FU in her post “What Up, New Media?”. Cheryl posted a video on that page speaking about her issues if you want the background on that 99-coment-long saga.

    The point in both cases was whether bloggers or content creators can GET PAID and talk about products with integrity at the same time.

    While I personally don’t see anything wrong with Chris getting paid to blog about something, I see the problems that some people are going to have with the situation. Continue reading “How Much Does It Cost To Borrow Your Brand?”

    Sarah Palin’s Wardrobe

    People are all CRYING about the $150,000 (read: One Hundred and Fifty THOUSAND Dollars) that was reportedly spent by the Republican National Committee to update Sarah Palin’s wardrobe.

    Well, it’s clear to The Kid that McCain knows what’s up and that he MUST be subscribed to DatingGenius! ๐Ÿ˜€ Continue reading “Sarah Palin’s Wardrobe”

    Trapped In Your Relationship?

    Are you trapped in your relationship? ๐Ÿ™‚ Do you have like ZERO options other than your current girlfriend/wife as far as kickin’ it with chicks? ๐Ÿ™‚ If this is the case, then PLEEEEEEEASE don’t try *ANYTHING* I post to this blog as far as techniques on how to get women or how to treat women or how to carry yourself around women, hahaha ๐Ÿ˜€ Read this blog for entertainment purposes or if you’d like to fantasize about living life the way you actually imagined it, but DO *NOT* try any of this stuff with a chick that you’re stuck with. You’re just asking for trouble. ๐Ÿ˜€

    If you’ve got like eight (8) kids with one chick or you live in the sticks and you’re dating the Sheriff’s daughter or you’re a bum and you have a Sugar Momma or you’re actually in love with some chick and you’re not gonna leave her regardless of what she says or does to you or any other trapped-ass situation… then do yourself a favor and don’t try to carry yourself like single guys do. Leave the fun stuff to the guys livin’ that life, and you do what YOU have to do to maintain your existence as-is.

    Make no mistake, I’m not knocking getting married and having kids. If that’s what honestly floats your boat, more power to ya, and I’m happy for ya. ๐Ÿ˜€ What I’m saying is that if being stuck with one chick was NOT your plan for your life, but it turned out that way… play it where it lays. Recognize what the right thing to do is for YOU at this point in time and live your life properly, where you feel like when it’s all over, you did the best thing for yourself and everyone else involved with you. Don’t bother trying to be what you wanted to be when you’re stuck being what you HAVE to be.

    I’ve been thinking about this for a few reasons. Reader “Frank” made this comment on “Ladies: How To Tell He Has A Girlfriend”:

    Frank: Asabi: yes I have a GF and I actually do joke around with her about things. I have actually walked away from convos with her friends by saying ‘sweety, you getting played’! If any guys are reading and taking notes about the simple pimp move of buying everyone the same perfume, thats all good because you too just read it. Growing up is what many of us have done which is why we can joke about this stuff at this point in life. Yes, I did the buy 4 girls the same keychain from VS once just for the hell of it, but no, I would not do so now! Having done it or been around people who did/do it still, gives me an insight that I have no problem sharing. Buying two chicks the same perfume – Gangsta! hearing “Uh, no honey I haven’t worn it around you yet, why do you smell like that”? – PRICELESS! ๐Ÿ˜€

    I do think woman need to listen to the playas in the crowd and ake notes. How ever disgusted you may be, archive what you just heard, it will probably come in handy for you or a friend later.
    I don’t mind giving up some of the basic secrets since im not on the prowl.

    Besides the sage advice for guys of buying the same perfume for different chicks, hahaha and the excellent advice for women to take notes when guys that are used to running circles around chicks are talking… The point Frank makes is that while he still HAS his game in mind, he doesn’t utilize it because he’s with someone that he really enjoys, cares about, whatever… and he feels INSPIRED to be focused on HER. I think that’s fantastic. It’s extremely important for a guy to have a proper view of what’s going on in his life so he doesn’t try some playboy ish he read in a blog and jack up a good thing.

    Another reason I was thinking about this is I watched this movie, well, the movie was garbage, so I actually FFed through it, but this guy had a girlfriend who got mad at him for some reason they chose not to develop properly in the script. So she storms out of the house, talking all this yang, and you don’t see her for I don’t know how long, because I was fast forwarding haha. So the next time you see her, she’s all gleeful and runs up on the guy she stormed out on and jumps into his arms and kisses him and he’s all happy to see her. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Now, I know this was a movie, but guys go out like this all the time IRL. I’m thinking, looking at this garbage… Where are the “Consequences & Repercussions” from her catching an attitude, acting like an asshole and breaking north with no delay? Where’s the conversation about her behavior? According to the script, dude gladly accepted her back as if everything was regular. There are at least two problems with this:

    1) By accepting her weird-ass behavior, you’re labeling her a PSYCHO and admitting that you don’t care about that. It’s basically like, regardless of how retarded you are, I’m still gonna hit it. That has to do WONDERS for your own self-esteem and completely enables her to continue being a JERK.

    2) By taking her back without conversation & resolution, you’re admitting that you didn’t have JACK better to do than to wait for her to come around. Witness your leverage plummet to sub-zero. The next time she feels like acting out, you’re going to be the victim *AGAIN*, and you’re going to keep grinning about it, too.

    So I’m thinking to myself… “What were the script-writers thinking when they figured out this scenario?”. It’s got to be that the guy either CAN’T GET a better girl or DOESN’T WANT a different girl. There’s nothing wrong with either scenario, but if that describes YOUR LIFE… then Act As If and Act Like You Know! ๐Ÿ˜€

    If you’re not gonna leave her, REGARDLESS, then don’t act like a decision-maker. Don’t act like you’re “wearing the pants in the family”. Play your position and do what you gotta do. Make that weekly trip to her Grandmother’s house to spend the ENTIRE DAY with her extended family and not doing ANYTHING that *YOU* wanted to do the whole time. Hit that mall with her on Saturdays so you can hold her bags and sit with other dudes on the benches, looking like lost kids at the security booth waiting for their parents to pick them up. Take your five (5) kids to the zoo while you dream about being at the strip club. Watch one of the myriad dumb-ass reality shows they have on television now about dancing or talent or whatnot instead of checking out the latest MMA fights. Buy that SUV or minivan that everyone can fit into instead of that Corvette or Porsche or bike.

    Bill Cammack & KV

    A good friend of mine… we’ll call him “Hal”… messed up and got this chick pregnant that he was kickin’ it with. I can still see his pained face… exactly… right this second. I hope I never forget it, because it was REAL. I was looking at the face of a guy whose life was about to go TOTALLY not how he planned it, and it was killing him. ๐Ÿ™ … OTOH… It was clear from our conversation that it would have killed him MORE to not be a father to his child. The kid wasn’t even “out yet”, and already he was devastated, yet prepared to “do the right thing” as he saw it and live into his responsibilities. I’m SO grateful that “Hal” shared that with me when he was in the midst of that angst. For me, it was an unique experience. I know lots of other guys that have had accidental kids, but if they had emotions other than ANGER or feeling STUPID, they never let me know about it. “Hal” was honestly devastated and was obviously really hurt by the change in his life’s direction. Within his devastation, though, was HONOR… His pain was the pain of sacrifice that one person honorably makes for another, as firemen do and as soldiers do in wars. HIs focus was shifting, and he didn’t like it, but he was gonna carry that weight.

    A few years later, I was in contact with “Hal”, and his son was his best friend. He had completely grown into his new life, accepted it and was making a GREAT life out of it, so props to him! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Another reason I wanted to write this is that about 70% of my hits come from Google Searches. People that search Google for dating advice receive information completely out of context. Anybody who actually knows The Kid can tell you that as nice of a guy as I am, I’m completely selfish and self-centered. It’s all about *ME*. Love it or Leave it. ๐Ÿ˜€ If YOU aren’t the type of guy to think “This chick is a JERK, and I can do a hell of a lot better than HER!”, then this blog isn’t for you. ๐Ÿ™‚ If you’ve got your mind or heart set on one chick, or circumstances have trapped you into a relationship you’re gonna be in until you croak, then get some laughs from my posts, tell your homeboys about it while you’re all sitting on those benches in the malls, holding your wives’ shopping bags and purses, dream about a different life, live vicariously, do whatever you have to do to make living life worthwhile…

    Just don’t try some acrobatic ish you read on a blog in a relationship you actually care about or NEED. Leave the playboy ish to the players. Enjoy what YOU have and the way YOUR life’s going. The single life is *NOT* for the faint of heart.

    Ya HEARD???? ๐Ÿ˜€

    Bill Cammack / Empire State Building / NYC


    Lindsey & Bill: Does He Want To Be Friends?

    Lindz from NNN / Tumblr joins me for a conversation about the ifs and whens of guys being friends with girls…..

    B: So… Every Day, there’s some chick that’s completely confused as to whether some guy that she knows wants to be “friends” with her.

    This happens in both directions… There are chicks that WANT to date guys, but they can’t tell if that guy’s physically attracted to them… And there are chicks that DON’T want to date guys, but they can’t tell whether those guys are NOT just tryinna get in their pants.

    I’ll start off with the high percentage answer to whether a guy wants to be friends with a chick……


    This means that if a chick wants to give him some, he’ll most likely take it, regardless of what he told you when you asked him directly. Does that mean you’re in a “relationship” with him? No. Does that mean he’s going to iChat you tomorrow? No. All it means is that he finds you physically attractive, and under the correct circumstances, he’d be very glad to “tap that, sunnnnnn”.

    L: You see, though, if she’s hot and you know that she’s outta your league, or maybe she’s the plain Jane next door that still won’t get with you, even though you’re the hottest guy to ever talk to her, don’t get discouraged. You can totally use this in your favor. One word: Wingwoman.

    B: As with every rule, there are exceptions. Here they are:

    1) He’s not physically attracted to you.

    B: If he’s not tryinna hit that, it’s easy to be friends with you, because there’s no pressure. No sexual tension. There’s nothing for him to gain or lose by not pressing up on you. Hanging out with you is the exact same thing as hanging out with any other chick, or a guy.  *yawn*

    L: True. Very true. However, a girls attractability (is this a word? I think so) can grow depending on her personality. She can be a total goon and then you get to know her and all of a sudden she’s a supermodel knockout. Ok maybe I went too far, but you get the point.

    B: Excellent point, Lindz… This is actually something chicks have to look out for that I wasn’t thinking about. That’s when there’s a changeover from not-hittable to hittable and what gets really confusing to chicks, when a guy that never paid them any physical attention’s suddenly talkin’ ’bout “Say… I lost the directions to my house… Can I borrow yours? ๐Ÿ˜€ “.

    2) He’s not physically attracted to you. Continue reading “Lindsey & Bill: Does He Want To Be Friends?”

    “Significant” Others

    Wikipedia hit the nail on the head with their first paragraph about the term or concept “Significant Other“.

    Significant other (sig ot, sigot, sigoth, SigO, or SO) is a gender-blind, politically correct term to refer to a person’s partner in an intimate relationship without disclosing or presuming anything about his or her marital status or sexual orientation. It is also vague enough to avoid offence from using a term that an individual might consider inappropriate (e.g. lover when he or she considers him a boyfriend, or her a girlfriend when he or she considers her a life partner). Nonetheless, some are offended by the implication that persons with whom one is not having a “primary” sexual relationship are “insignificant” or would as a matter of course get lesser consideration and emotional disrespect compared to the “significant” one.

    I know you can tell where The Kid‘s going with this one! ๐Ÿ˜€

    The term “significant other” is immediately ridiculous. The concept that there is only one person significant to you is retarded… unless you happen to be a hermit and only have human contact with ONE person. In that case, that person is pretty damned SIGNIFICANT! ๐Ÿ˜€ Continue reading ““Significant” Others”

    Why Are You Hiding Your Significant Other?

    Richard Blakeley wrote a post for called 5 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating. I thought I’d add a few reasons why NYC is an especially good environment for guys. ๐Ÿ˜€

    In his article, Richard writes:

    “Here in New York City, there’s almost a stigma attached to people who actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend, as though you’re denying others of your partying time for your own selfish acts.”

    This is absolutely true, and worth delaying the “list of positives” to talk about. There are too many people in NYC doing too many things. Too many people making lots of money. Too many people creating good art. Too many people that are ambitious. Too many people (by sheer numbers… not per capita) that are attractive. Too many people that go out to the nightlife scene. Too many bars. Too many opportunities… Choosing someone as a “significant other” speaks volumes about who you are as a person, or who you THINK you are… positively or negatively. Like Richard said, you’re denying others of your partying time in order to hand it over to this one person… whom you’re likely to be broken up with a few months from now anyway, but that’s a different post.

    The question becomes “Why did she choose HIM?” or “I thought he had taste in women” or “I thought she had higher self-esteem than that”. Basically, whomever you choose, there’s someone “better” somwhere within a 5 block radius, because this is NYC. This leads to people either just not mentioning that they’re in a relationship at all (when they are) or selecting a Facebook status of “It’s Complicated”, which basically means “Yes, I have someone… but Yes, you still have a good chance of getting on”.

    Speaking of Facebook, that’s another problem with declaring a SO. Once it’s over, you have to un-declare that person. Serial Monogamy being what it is, it’s just better policy to NOT MENTION when you’re messing with someone, so when it’s over, everything’s still status quo. So, yes… There’s definitely a stigma attached to claiming you have a BF or GF. You can HAVE THEM all you want. Just don’t bring them up in conversation. Don’t declare them on ANY social sites. Don’t have ANY pictures of them in circulation… at least “incriminating” ones.

    Some people go to the length of hiding actual wives… Like women they went to a church and swore in front of a crowd of people that they were going to be faithful to this chick. It’s like if you’re friends with this person, you know they’re married, but their wife never shows up on the scene… EV*A*R. It’s like she’s a ghost or doesn’t really exist.

    The reason to hide “significant others” in an environment with a high frequency of contact with attractive, available chicks is that there are lots of people who enjoy applying THEIR morals to YOUR life. All you need is some weasely chick whispering in her girlfriend’s ear that you have a girlfriend and jacking up your rap. On the other side of that, how many times have you requested information on a chick and what you receive is “oh… she has a boyfriend”. It’s like “Pay attention, stupid… that’s NOT what I asked you”. Then, they look at you all funny, as if “she has a boyfriend” is the only information they know about the chick. People tend to lose their abilities to remain objective and USEFUL when these boyfriend and girlfriend terms get thrown into the mix. It’s better for you to avoid that by keeping your personal business “out the street”.

    Actually, this point stands on its own, so I’ll post MY list in “6 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating (For Da Fellaz)”