I tend to take a lot of pictures with a lot of different women.

One of the funny side effects of that is that guys assume that the women are random.

In fact, I’m in very few pictures with women I don’t personally know.

I just happen to know a lot of women.

This is what happens when you have 2,800 Facebook Friends… Statistically, that means that there are approximately 1,400 women that count as actual friends of mine, acquaintances, women I’ve spent time with, women I was introduced to by mutual friends, and women that are fans of mine.

There Go Some Chicks! :D

What’s funny about this misperception is that every once in a while, some guy I know will say something to the effect of “There go five girls over there.. Go take pictures with them! :D”

Now.. That’s not impossible for The Kid, but it all depends on whether the chicks are feelin’ me or not (or, at least one of them is).

I can tell this immediately, because my dating instinct is on-point and most guys don’t have it like that.

That’s one of the reasons they call hooking up with a chick “Getting Lucky”. It’s luck. They don’t know how they did it. Most of the time, they didn’t DO anything at all. They were in the right place at the right time and she was drunk enough so she made out with him.

For most guys, that counts as luck. For me, once I’m around a gal a few times, I know instinctively what state she’s in.

She might walk in the door in “I don’t give a damn about Bill” state, but several drinks from now, she’s going to be in “Feel Bill Up” state or “Hook up with any available guy she happens to be attracted to” state.

That’s not luck. It’s knowledge, timing and accuracy.

So, it’s always funny to me when dudes point chicks out to me and think that I can do magic tricks. haha It honestly ain’t that type-a party. :D

If I look over and determine in a few seconds that I have an “in”, I might go over there. Otherwise, I won’t be taking any action, because kickin’ it to chicks that aren’t interested in you isn’t worth your time unless she has an incredible ass.

Basically, when it comes to dating, there are only three types of women:

1. She’s not attracted to you.
2. She’s attracted to you and trying to hide that from you.
3. She’s attracted to you and down with the program.

The only question is whether you can detect that or not so you know how to efficiently interact with her.

Efficiency

If she’s already sweating you, it’s your game to lose. You really don’t have to do anything other than NOT be a jerk and you’ll eventually get on.. In most cases, sooner, rather than later.

If she’s trying to front like she doesn’t like you, that’s cool too. She probably has some kind of “protect my heart” reasons for not telling you what you already know about her. In those situations, your goal in life is to figure out WHY she’s frontin’ on the Jimmy, so you can help her get over it and y’all can get down to the nitty-gritty.

If she’s not attracted to you, that’s the only time you actually have to put in real work to get on. In most cases, it’s not worth the effort, because attractive gals in this town get offered male attention all day, every day, and if she’s not already paying you any attention, there probably isn’t much you can do to get her interested in you without investing major time, effort, and perhaps money.

This is where instinct comes in. You’re better off kickin’ it to the slightly-less-attractive chick that’s sweating you than the slightly-better-looking gal that doesn’t give a damn that you’re standing 10 feet away from her at the bar or apartment party. If you can’t tell which is which, you end up wasting a bunch of time, barking up the wrong tree.

The way you can tell what she’s thinking/feeling is that she gets an extra energy when you’re around her or talking to her. If you can naturally perceive that or you know what that looks like, it’s pretty obvious. Someone may as well have painted her bright orange.

She gets nervous or she laughs too much at your stupid jokes that you know damned well aren’t anywhere near that funny, or she keeps hanging around after you stupidly let the conversation lull because you don’t know what the **** you’re doing.

Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

So.. Besides making your strategy list of the order in which you’re going to approach women based on their physical attractiveness, you need to simultaneously create a list based on how interested each gal seems to be in you before you even step to her.

If you can’t detect this type of stuff, your rap game is basically a shot in the dark.. a LUCK SHOT in the dark, at that.

If you don’t already have it, the only way you’ll develop it is by trial & error… Decide whether you think a woman is interested in you or not and then go introduce yourself to her and see what happens.

Eventually, you should start making more educated guesses at your chances.

In the sticks, introducing yourself to women that aren’t already sweating you might be a high-percentage play, but not in NYC… Women are basically worn out by the number of times guys try to hook up with them in stores, in the street, on public transportation, at work, at parties, in bars… Even though there are too many women in this town, which makes it tough for them to get boyfriends, there are also too many dudes in this town that they don’t want to hook up with that are trying to bag them.

So.. In the interest of energy conservation, you should start practicing and honing your skills ASAP… The Dating Game is much more fun when you only kick it to bright orange chicks! >:D

Unless, of course, she happens to be from New Jersey, and that’s just her spray-tan. :/
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, Email Subscription, RSS Feed

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Mel Gibson has done it again. :)

Once again, his PR team has to go into crisis management / damage control mode because he was running his mouth while he thought he wasn’t being recorded.

Amongst the myriad things to be learned from this, according to examiner.com, Mel dropped this gem on his ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva:

“Look what you did to me… look what you are… look what every part of you is… f**king fake… f**king fake. You are the most synthetic person… who the f*** are you?”

Now, hahahaha Being that I don’t know her at all and never even heard of her before this story broke the other day, I don’t know exactly what Mel’s referencing…

He COULD very well be saying that PHYSICALLY, she’s synthetic as far as the various procedures that women (and some men also) undergo to make themselves look better in their own eyes or other people’s eyes.

I have elected to adopt “Synthetic” as a personality-based term. “You’re the most synthetic person… who the hell *ARE* you? O_o”

Synthetic (Webster’s): 4b: devised, arranged, or fabricated for special situations to imitate or replace usual realities.

I really enjoy that term and I’m going to start using it regularly. :) “Fake” is one thing.. Like as in “You’re not really who you said you were” or “You’re not really who you THINK you are”. Synthetic, to me, implies deliberate attempts to make people believe one thing when you know damned well that the opposite is true or that “nothing” is true.. An example being someone pretending to be happy about something when they’re actually mad about it or pretending to be happy when they’re neutral about it and couldn’t possibly care any less one way or the other.

I like “Synthetic” because it implies to me that I can see your deliberate attempt at fakery and that makes you look even worse than if I considered you misguided or confused.

Synthetic People

It’s tough to spot synthetic people. It’s especially tough in New York City, where so many people need to Act As If in order to get ahead. Things work in the reverse of the proper order here. The way you act determines how people perceive you which turns into tangible opportunities for you to do what you claimed to have done all along. In other places, this works in the correct order where you do something or actually ARE a certain way, people recognize that, give you credit and offer you opportunities based on who you really are.

The way I figure out what time it is is by paying attention to how people act in different situations. If you can decipher their motives, you can create a mental graph of how they’re likely to behave depending on how much they think they can stand to benefit from trying to use you.

For instance.. If a gal knows you want to spend time with her and her actual motive is to network and meet people that you’re already friends with, she’ll react differently to an invitation to hang out one-on-one than she will to an invitation to hang out at some large party where she knows you know 60 people that are planning to show up. This also works if you change plans, like you tell her you’re going to X party, but then you change the plan to go somewhere you can get to know each other better without incessant interruptions. If she doesn’t give a flying **** about getting to know you, she’s gonna bail as soon as she realizes she won’t be able to use you for networking… Good Riddance to Bad Garbage. >:D

Ulterior Motives

I just heard about another example from a homegirl of mine while I was in the process of writing this post. She says something to the effect of “Girls are easier to ‘take with’ than guys”. That didn’t make any sense to me, because as long as a) The females in the group are HAWT and b) you have more females than males, you can get in anywhere you want in this city. An attractive chick on your arm is literally the key to the NYC nightlife.

When I asked her what she was talking about, she said how guys invite her to parties and then balk when she says she wants to bring a guy with her. That’s because she didn’t understand their motives for inviting her in the first place. Nobody cares about her coming to a party and having a good time. They’re going to invite her so they can try to get on or so they can look cool for inviting a hawt chick to a party.

If she brings a dude with her, she automatically diminishes the props of the guy that invited her. His ‘pull’ is zero. HIs addition to the party is zero. He invited a chick, but she’s less likely to hook up with HIM (which is the most important thing) or any of the other guys at the party because she brought her own entertainment. He would have been better off not inviting her at all becasue a) it doesn’t make him look good and b) even if she’s NOT dating the guy she brought, he’s just afforded that guy access to the OTHER chicks at the party so if he pulls one of them that a friend of his wanted, he’s gonna get screamed on for screwing up his boy’s action.

Again.. Recognizing this requires accurately assessing someone’s motives in inviting you somewhere. If a guy invites a gal somewhere and then balks if she asks him if she can bring a guy, you know what time it is. He was only trying to set up an opportunity to **** her and if that’s not what’s going on, he’d rather not see her around at all… Otherwise, what difference does it make? O_o If he’s inviting her so she can have a good time and enjoy herself, wouldn’t that be enhanced if she could bring her friend(s), regardless of how many of them are guys?.. Get a clue.

Synthetic Relationships

The typical concept of relationships is that it’s two people on the same page, going in the same direction, wanting the best out of life for themselves and each other. Sometimes, that’s not the case at all, but instead, it’s two people that figured out that they can use the other person to fulfill their own agenda whether that works for their SO or not.

Unfortunately, people aren’t wiling to admit that they’re in synthetic relationships. If you ask people, they either say they’re in a relationship or they’re single. There’s no qualification given to the state or quality (or lack thereof) of their relationship.

There’s nothing wrong with synthetic relationships.. except that they fall apart as soon as one of the participants gets a better version of what the relationship was providing them from someone else. If a guy’s with a gal just because he likes her ass, as soon as he has access to a gal with a better ass, he’s outta there. If a gal’s with a guy because he’s buying her stuff, she’s gone as soon as a richer guy offers to support her.

That’s assuming that these people bounce from the relationships at all. :D There’s really no reason to leave a synthetic relationship because it’s better to have TWO chicks with nice asses or TWO guys that pay for everything instead of just one. Besides, if one of them find out what’s going on, who cares? \o/ You still have the other one(s).

The obvious problem here is when people don’t realize they’re in relationships like this and they think it’s real. All I can say about that is if you find out this is the case, make sure you don’t fly off the handle like Mel, ’cause you might be the next one in the tabloids! :D

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Jay Smooth pointed out to me that JIll Scott had this to say in Essence Magazine:

“My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince.” [Read more of Jill's article...]

For more context, here’s a video of what she had to say on CNN:

Now, I was going to let this topic slide because I don’t care. However.. Sensing that we’re going to have some more fake Sex Addict claims in the near future, I may as well break up my ongoing coverage of that topic with something else.

Disclaimers

First of all, let me say that I understand what Jill’s saying and I understand from reading what she wrote and listening to her in the video clip I posted above why she feels hurt about the situation.

Second of all, which is really honestly first of all, let me say that I’m aware that I’m the last one that should have any opinion on black women at all.

Everybody that’s seen me in action knows how I roll. Of the gals I’ve messed with, the percentage of them that have been black is relatively close to 0% >:D

I think that covers all the disclaimers, so let’s discuss Jill’s topic, which specifically spoke about white chicks and black dudes.

Statistics

We live in the United States of America.. In the year 2010 AD. Unless you live in an all-minority neighborhood and go to all-minority schools and work at all-minority jobs, MOST of the people you come into contact with in this country are going to be white.

According to the 2000 United States Census”, 75.1% of respondents said they were white, while 12.3% said they were black.

Let’s say we evened that out to 50% white and 50% black people across the board. That means that a black chick has the same chance as a flipped coin landing on either heads or tails to be selected by ANY GUY to mess with or get into a relationship. Even if the numbers were EVEN, there is NO CIRCUMSTANCE where a black female is 100% guaranteed to get the rap from a guy merely due to the fact that he happens to be black as well.

I think this is the main problem with Jill’s argument. Like I said, I understand why she feels the way she feels, but it’s entirely unreasonable to expect that guys are going to ignore 75% of women or 3 out of every 4 women in this country because their skin is a different color.

Do you know how hard guys have to work to get laid in this country? :D This whole thing is ridiculous. It’s not new, either. I’m glad it’s getting attention now that Jill brought it up, so maybe people will discuss this rationally and women that are being affected by this might be able to attain some enlightenment & closure and move on.

Life Isn’t Fair

I’m 5’9″. Thanks to all the drugs they’ve been putting in the meat for the last ten years, there are lots of chicks that are taller than I am. There are lots of chicks that don’t want to date guys that are shorter than they are. What do you want me to do about that? Cry? Complain? Talk about how unfair life is? Wear platform shoes like Prince? What do you want me to do? :D

It’s ridiculous! There are lots of chicks that are 5’9″ and shorter that would love to hook up with me, so a brotha gotsta GET IN where he FIT IN. That’s how life works. Similarly, if you see a black dude with a white chick, that doesn’t mean YOU could have pulled him even IF he only dated black chicks to begin with. You still would have had to fend off, what?.. 30,000,000 OTHER black females?.. Good Luck.

The thing that I find laughable about this situation is the chicks that talk all this **** when they weren’t trying to give you any in the first place. :D Seriously.. Listen, ladies.. If you’re not tryin’na hook up with a dude, nobody cares what your opinion is. Nobody. Your argument has GOT. TO. BE. “If you don’t hook up with that white chick, I’ll give you some”. If it’s not YOU, it’s gonna have to be a good-looking homegirl of yours.

Seriously. It’s like you’re saying “Don’t buy that pretzel from that vendor” and then we don’t and then you’re there like “…………..”. What am I supposed to do? Starve? Because *YOU* came up with the stupid idea for me NOT to do something without offering me a preferable alternative?

Does Race Matter?

While I’m on the topic, a female friend of mine, who of course is white, asked me something to the effect of “Does race even matter in tech?”, adding “I don’t know the race of a person I’m talking to on the phone or over the internet”. The reason she asked me this is that I had been explaining to her about a situation which caused James Andrews to write “How We Were Kanye’d At SXSW 2010 And Why It Was Wrong” which Faith Dow responded to with This Post and This Post.

Long story short.. Apparently, there was a SXSW panel called “Blacks In Tech”, which, actually, now that I look at the lineup on James Andrews’ blog post, included my friend Nichelle Stephens, which failed to field an all-black panel. Faith Dow took exception to this and brought it up when it was her turn to speak when they opened the floor to audience members.

There was more hubbub. Go read their posts if you give a damn. The point is that if you’re going to make something called Five Apples On A Stage, there had damned ******* well be FIVE ******* APPLES on the stage or you just have to eat it (haha no pun intended) when someone says “THOSE ARE ORANGES! :/”. There’s nothing you can say about it. There’s no defense whatsoever.

Anyway, that’s what led to my friend’s question. The answer is that race matters in tech to fools.

If you become aware that someone’s better, more stylish, more creative, more insightful or just plain FASTER than other people that do the exact same job he or she does and you elect not to hire them because their skin color is different from yours, you get what you deserve, which is an inferior product.

So if the panel had been named “Minorities In Tech”, Faith Dow wouldn’t have had jack to say about it… Except it WASN’T named that, so it either looks like DELIBERATELY FALSE ADVERTISING or an EPIC FAILURE in an attempt to find either 5 or 6 black people to sit on the same SXSW panel in the year 2010 AD (When this amazing feat has already been pulled off at several SXSW conferences in the past). There’s no defense against this. The panel should have been renamed before SXSW even started, or the panel should have been populated as advertised.

C’mon SON!

Getting back to Jill Scott’s point.. If you’re going to reach all the way back to Civil Rights and beyond to explain why you wince when black guys hook up with white girls, you need to focus on what the point was of granting people rights in the first place. It wasn’t “Please, oh please grant us the right to kick it to 12% of the American population”. It was “Grant us the right to do the **** whatever we FEEL like doing, so long as we’re within the law and not hurting anybody”. Instead of feeling poorly, shouldn’t you actually feel HAPPY that SOMEONE benefitted from Civil Rights? O_o

What about when blacks work for white companies? Is that upsetting too? :D Should blacks turn down white clients for some odd reason? Should blacks not be on linkedin? What about Facebook? Should blacks only patronize BlackPlanet.com? I mean, seriously, where does it end? \o/

There is no reason at all why a black dude shouldn’t kick it with a white chick that’s interested in him, unless of course, she’s busted.

That’s how it works. If a chick is attractive, “She could get it”. If she’s not attractive, “Nah.. That’s AIITE!”. Most guys, black, white or otherwise aren’t thinking about the situation any more deeply than that.

Also… I suggest that y’all stop spreading rumors that white chicks listen to orders, take their men shopping, act properly around company, let you do all kinds of Tiger-Woods-sex-text-message-type stuff to them and then get up and make you a sandwich, because you’re only making matters worse for YOURSELVES!!! >:D

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You know?….. It’s actually completely amazing to me how differently men and women’s minds work when it comes to relationships. Most of the time, I can’t even believe it. I’m like “Are you serious? :/”.

Let’s think about the concept of being “unable” to remain faithful or screwing a bunch of chicks behind your wife or girlfriend’s back because you were too WEAK to do otherwise… That. Is. The. Most. Retarded. ****. I’ve. Ever. Heard. and it persists. It’s like no matter how much evidence women receive, they refuse to believe that dudes just basically aren’t interested in monogamy.

Maybe some of y’all could leave a comment below and help me out. Let me tell you how it actually works for guys, and then you can tell me how your brain ***** this up.

1) Guy meets girl
2) Girl won’t give it up without blackmail agreement of fidelity
3) Guy agrees to fidelity in order to procure sex from said chick
4) Guy meets a different chick
5) Guy feels like ******* her too and does so
6) Guy doesn’t get caught and his relationship continues
7) Eventually, guy gets caught
8) Girl bounces from relationship, claiming her man was too WEAK to not screw other chicks
9) Guy keeps hooking up with the chicks he has left on the roster
10) Wash, Rinse, Repeat [goto 1]
11) End of Program

Like, I mean how ******* SIMPLE could it possibly be? I don’t know why chicks just can’t get this. \o/

Let me try with a different example:

1) Guy goes to work
2) Two weeks later, the job writes him a check
3) Guy deposits check in bank
4) Bank clears check
5) Guy removes cash from ATM
6) Guy has money
7) Wash, Rinse, Repeat [goto 1]

Please tell me how you mentally arrive at the determination that the guy didn’t really want the money and that some mental or moral deficiency of his is what led to him cashing the check that he didn’t want. Please amaze me once again with your skillz at understanding men, why we do what we do and what our uses for you are.

Why are those situations exactly the same? I’ll tell you. Getting chicks is WORK. Chicks don’t just offer themselves to you like it’s Amsterdam and they’re hookers in the window while you’re walking down the street. WE have to step to chicks. WE have to make it happen. Just like guys go to work BECAUSE they want to get paid, guys talk to girls BECAUSE we want to get laid. Period. Unless we have something in common with you like we’re in the same line of work or share the same hobbies, that’s what we’re doing.. Setting up future-sex.

The work is the TALKING and the check is the SEX. It’s very simple. If you can understand the process whereby a man receives money for work that he did, you can understand how he screws at least 14 chicks behind your back COUGHelinCOUGH, ***** some tattoo-freak-looking chick for 11 months while you’re filming movies COUGHsandraCOUGH, imports hookers across state lines to the tune of $4,000 for something he should be getting for free COUGHsildaCOUGH, or escapes to Argentina to spend intimate time with the love of his life COUGHjennyCOUGH.

Why is it, exactly, that you believe that men that have no problems whatsoever carrying out their myriad duties in life juuuuuuuuuust can’t get a handle on how to NOT **** other women? :D It’s completely retarded.. really. Have you ever seen Tiger Woods hit a golf ball in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION of the hole he’s trying to get it in? O_o .. Just tee it up and hit it in the direction of the clubhouse instead of the green? Do you think his mind fails to work randomly? Wouldn’t that become evident on the golf course? Wouldn’t he *NOT* be a champion? I can’t hit a golf ball AT ALL. I would thoroughly be unsurprised if I took a swing and the ball went backwards instead of forwards, or maybe straight up in the air and fell back down where the tee used to be. What is it that makes you think being faithful to a chick is tougher than playing golf? What is it that makes you mentally strive to explain away 11-month affairs by saying the guy was too weak to stand up to his commitment? What is it that makes you believe there’s any excuse for hiring $4,000 hookers other than “I felt like it. \o/”?

This is funny and all, but I’m actually sick of this. You don’t know how tough it is for me not to look you in the eye and say “YOU are a ******* IDIOT!”. Guys run multi-million dollar corporations and get elected to high-level public positions BY CALCULATION. How is it that you can look at someone and say he’s so great at getting his way and then not see infidelity as him getting his way as he normally does in life?

My uneducated guess is that you’ve either been properly brainwashed or you don’t want to face the fact that the truth SUCKS! :D Strangely enough, I have to go with the brainwashing, because it’s amazing to look in chicks’ eyes IRL and SEE that they CLEARLY don’t understand what happened. The evidence just doesn’t register. That’s some good-ass brainwashing right thurrrr. It’s easier than Eddie Murphy said, which is that even if they catch you pounding out another chick and see it with their own eyes, just say “It wasn’t me”.

Anyway, I just needed to rant about this one last time before I attempt to let it go forever. I’m tired. I’m tired of explaining to chicks that monogamy is absolutely unnatural. I’m tired of explaining to chicks that guys hook up with other girls because they feel like it and not because of some derangement or deficiency or weakness. We tell you what we have to tell you to get laid. Some of us mean it, some of us don’t. Get a clue… PLEASE! :/

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I’m not a fan of labeling relationships because the label doesn’t indicate or describe the functionality of the relationship. Similarly, the LACK of a label doesn’t indicate a lack of functionality between individuals. Therefore, the label itself is almost entirely useless.

I was watching this movie the other day, and this guy’s trying to get to know this new chick. He explains something about himself to her and she says “Oh.. You’re one of those [X] guys”. His response is “I don’t really, uh, subscribe to any label”.

When I heard that, I realized that that’s what I should have been saying all along. I mean, I’ve BEEN saying that forever, but I haven’t stressed it enough, since I’ve been attempting to inform the average Joe/Josephine about what my life is like. It’s just not as easy as I thought it would be. Things that make perfect sense to me don’t make sense to other people. Things that work for me don’t work for other people. I’ve attempted to explain something that I’ve now decided I just can’t explain. I just have to be thankful for the situation and keep it movin’. :D

Labels

Labels are only as relevant as the people that are willing to adhere to them.. meaning that basically, they’re completely useless.

Let’s examine the term “Girlfriend”, which, to me, means “The chick you’re most likely to have sex with today”. What does that term define, really? What does it rule IN, and what does it rule OUT? Nothing.

Every single day, you can read about guys that are really nice to their girlfriends and guys that are really horrible towards them. That means that the label “Girlfriend” doesn’t come automatically equipped with decent behavior from the boyfriend. What’s THAT worth? There are guys that are faithful to their girlfriends and guys that have several girlfriends at the same time.. The point being that applying a label to a situation doesn’t have any bearing on what actually happens between those two (or more) people.

Polyamory

In my attempt to describe my non-average life to the average person, I’ve described myself as polyamorous in the past. At this point, I realize that the term has been co-opted to stand for a particular segment of society that engages in regular “relationships” with multiple people, simultaneously. That’s completely not what I meant or subscribe to. It’s kind of like how the original Punk Rockers played, loved and listened to Punk Rock because that’s how they felt and how they lived. Eventually, people started loving what the originals loved and produced and started emulating their heroes, especially dressing like them. Next thing you know, anyone who dresses the same way is considered a Punk Rocker, regardless of whether they ROCK or not. :/ Anyone who styles their hair a certain way is considered “Emo”. It’s a haircut, people.. a haircut. It’s absolutely meaningless.

The strict breakdown of the term Polyamory is from Greek πολυ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]. All it actually means is to love many people. Period. Unfortunately, somehow, “relationships” became equated with loving someone, which is absolutely retarded. There are lots of people in relationships that don’t love each other and lots of people that love each other that aren’t in relationships with each other. Love is a feeling. Some would argue that it’s a chemical reaction. You feel it or you don’t. You feel it for nobody, one person or many people. You feel it for one person at a time or many people simultaneously.

So, this very basic and understandable term has been co-opted to mean people that are in several simultaneous open relationships. I realized this when I saw a show about it recently. This chick was dating this chick that was dating a dude. In order to explain this mess, I’ll label the original couple [A]. Chick[A] was dating Dude[A] and then Chick[A] started dating Chick[B]. Meanwhile, Chick[B] was NOT dating Dude[A], so it looked like this:

     Chick[B]<->Chick[A]<->Dude[A]

What woke me up was when Chick[B] decided that she wanted to go out with Dude[B]. Instead of doing what she wanted to do, because it’s her life.. she decided to consult with Chick[A] as far as WHAT. SHE. THOUGHT. about Chick[B] potentially dating Dude[B]. This is when I did at least a triple-take and was like “um.. This is retarded. How are you going to ASK anyone that’s not your parents whether you can go out with someone you like or not?”. This is in fact LESS FREE than a regular “relationship”, because NOW, you have not ONE but TWO people that might veto your involvement with someone that you’re naturally attracted to.

Cost of Living

Unfortunately, this is the price you have to pay to be involved in so-called “deviant lifestyles”. The pool of people that you’re sexually compatible with is a rather small subset of the general population. Your choices are to get down with whatever rules the other person lays down for being involved with them or not to be involved with them at all. They know what they want and what they don’t. If you can’t get down with the program, you’re useless to them anyway, so there’s no point in being involved with you past friendship.. IF that.

So Chick[B] had a sit-down with Chick[A] and basically asked her permission to go out on a date with Dude[B]. Chick[A] looked actually hurt about it. I suppose some people like to feel like they’re so special that they can have multiple GFs/BFs and all of their SOs are only interested in them. haha Right! :D .. So Chick[A] sanctioned the date between Chick[B] and Dude[B] *IF* Dude[B] was brought to the crib to meet Chick[A] before the date! HAHAHAHA Incredible.

Anyway, you get the picture. This situation was a complete mess. It’s indicative, however, of what labels get you. Once you subscribe to a label, people treat you as if that label means something, when it actually means nothing. In actual fact, Chick[B] could have dated or messed with Dude[B] anytime she wanted to, and it’s none of Chick[A]‘s business at all. The only reason any of this happened is that Chick[B] bought into Chick[A]‘s game of “I own several people”, when in fact, Chick[A] owns ZERO people… Lincoln freed the slaves.

Viewing the situation from Chick[A]‘s point of view, you only have as much power as other people give you. If someone decides to opt-out of your lifestyle, you’re short. There’s nothing you can do about it. They’re just not interested, so you’re left with your remaining roster of GFs/BFs. That’s the way it works.. People come and go. Society in general subscribes to “one guy, one girl”. If that’s not what you’re offering, it’s a tough row to hoe. It’s not for the faint of heart. Some people catch feelings about stuff like this, which I think is really funny/pathetic. It’s all in the game. If you’re not offering what someone’s brainwashed to want for themselves, they’re going to eventually select someone that’s at least willing to CLAIM to want to be involved in the type of relationship they’re looking for.

Reality

I don’t know what happened in that situation because it was too boring to continue watching. I figure that at some point, Chick[B] would have figured out that it’s her life and it’s the only one she’s ever going to have, so she may as well do what she wants to do when she wants to do it. It’s not going to serve her in the future if she declines to mess with Dude[B] because Chick[A] caught feelin’s about it.

The fact of the matter is that people like what they like, feel what they feel and do what they do. It’s really not any more complicated than that. There’s no label that can actually describe one person’s relationship to another person. Every relationship is unique because it involves two unique individuals. Regardless of whether someone dresses like a Punk Rock or cuts their hair in an Emo style, you can’t expect them to act or react in an uniform fashion with everyone else that tries to look or act like them.

Unfortunately, without the trial & error of becoming intimately involved with A LOT OF PEOPLE, this ‘trend of uniqueness’ isn’t going to be apparent. According to the media, there are NORMAL PEOPLE and then everyone else. As long as you subscribe to what they’re telling you everyone else subscribes to, you’re seen as NORMAL as well, and you get to stay in the game. Once you deviate from that, people start murmuring on the back-channel unless you’re a celebrity, in which case they murmur in the tabloids.

Do you like to screw chicks other than your wife? Well then.. You’re a sex addict, aren’t you? :D .. Of course you are. You should be in rehab.

Did you “cheat” on a chick that’s considered one of the most beautiful and sought-after women in the world? There must be something WRONG with you, then! :D Make sure your publicist apologizes for you and get better at doing your ‘dirt’ on the sneaks.

Did you spend over $50,000 on prostitutes from just ONE madam? hahaha REHAB!!! You’re SICK! :D .. I hope you get to say “Hello” to the thousands upon thousands of guys that should be in rehab WITH YOU for spending thousands of dollars each year buying drinks for girls they’re not even guaranteed to have sex with! :D

Did you spend $4,000 hiring JUST ONE PROSTITUTE and importing her from one state to another, even though you’re known for busting up prostitution rings? :D ……

Do you like to figure out fancy things to do with cigars and female interns during telephone business meetings? :D … Which reminds me. I believe I’m going to need an intern soon.

I mean, seriously.. The list goes on forever and ever of people that got caught doing what they hid FROM YOU so that they could appear “normal”. Up until the time these people were found out, everybody was like “Oh! Look at the shining examples of upstanding citizens! :D”.. Immediately afterwards, everybody goes “Oh! They’re Not NORMAL!!! :O”. Actually, yes.. Yes, they ARE normal. They’re all doing what makes them happy. This is what people do.

They like to hide, because a) it’s none of your business, and b) they don’t feel like being talked down about in the tabloids, but you can’t stop the bum rush. They’re going to do what they want to do with whomever they want to do it because that’s what makes their life worth living. If you don’t like it, you can go take a long walk on a short plank. Hit the bricks. Kick Rocks.

“Rubber”.. Meet “Road”

For the most part, people are willing to overlook aspects of a relationship that they don’t like in order to receive the benefits of being with that particular person. This works well with the current system because people like to advertise the positive points of being with them and deemphasize if not completely OMIT the negative points. That’s all well and good until someone gets found out…

A chick might say that she’s completely down with giving a guy as much sex as he wants in order for him to be her boyfriend.. but omit the fact that she’s also willing to give it up to several guys in a bathroom stall while they videotape it, until the time she gets caught and needs to make up an excuse.

A politician might say he’s faithful to his wife, until the time he gets caught and then she has to do the Perp Walk with him while he pretends to act sorry for the cameras and read the statement that his publicist wrote about how badly he feels for his family and the people who elected him.

A guy might be lovey-dovey to his girlfriend, until the time she gets nosey in his business and he kicks her ass in a Lamborghini on Grammy night.

A chick might claim to be this 14-year-old boy’s teacher, until it turns out she’s also his girlfriend and she’s pregnant by him.

A guy might insist that he never had sex with That Woman, until his semen shows up on the dress she wore to work that day.

A married guy might go to jail for defrauding rich people, AND THEN a chick might write a book about how she’s been carrying on a 20-year affair with him behind his wife’s back… How come she didn’t write it BEFORE he became a pariah? :D

See what I mean? All these people have all the labels and none of them are worth JACK!.. NOTHING! Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Husband, Wife, Teacher, Student, Investor, Actor, Singer, Politician.. ALL completely useless when it comes to describing and/or defining the relationship between people. It all comes down to the character of the individuals involved.

This is why I don’t bother playing the label game with people. It’s meaningless and it’s a waste of my time and brain processing cycles.

I never ask people about their so-called “relationship status”, but I’ll listen if they feel like telling me about it. If they tell me about it, I accept it as a possibility, but not as truth. I’m totally disinterested in who people say they are and COMPLETELY INTERESTED in what they actually DO.

Also.. The examples I gave above are *only* the headlines that hit the papers / internet. This type of stuff goes on every. single. day. in average people’s lives and they sweep it under the rug so they can look “normal” to everyone else that’s putting up the exact same front.

Does this happen to everyone? Of course not. Does it happen to A LOT of people? Yup! Does it happen to a lot of people that DON’T KNOW it’s happening to them? Yup! :D

If you’re lucky, YOU’RE a nice person, you MEET a nice person that wants to be nice TO YOU and y’all live happily ever after. Sweet! More power to ya! :D

Hopefully, the other person’s idiosyncrasies stay under their hats.. If they happen to slip out, hopefully you can deal with them and still want to be in a relationship with them. If you’re really lucky, you’ll consider the revelations delightfully kinky and take your relationship in an entirely new direction! ;)

~ Bill Cammack

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