The Psychology of Men

Bill Cammack — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 03:34:30 +0000

So my blog, DatingGenius gets syndicated in a few places… mostly Lux & Blakeley’s Boinkology.

The other day, my blog was linked to by Alexis McKinnis, over @ vita.mn in a post called “Quick Links: Dude Edition”.

So today, I’m having a conversation with a friend where I’m discussing syndication, and I link to Alexis’ blog as an example and lo and behold, there are comments that had been made since the time I became aware of and read the post. One of those comments was from a reader of hers who calls himself “AlphaBean”, and here’s what he had to say, which pertained to my post, “Ladies: Why He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend”:

3) I don’t like that list. It sounds like it’s trying to be scientific, without actually delving into the psychology of men. People like manboys (AlphaBean) who can’t even say “I Love You” in private without feeling like a tool. That would be getting way too serious, wouldn’t it? But come on… if you’re not going to be serious, then at least be funny. Rachel Ray jacking off corn? A H2 Hummer stuck in a mud puddle? Hilarious. That list? Not so much.

Now… Putting aside the fact that this person clearly read my post and decided NOT to leave that comment on MY blog, but back on Alexis’… What jumped out at me was “The Psychology of Men”. I think that’s a FANTASTIC title, and it probably should have been the first post of this kind that I ever wrote. So now… Let’s talk about “The Psychology of Men”.

Ladies… Here is the male thought process……

Give. Me. What. I. Want.

That’s it.

Give your man what he wants, and you will remain. Deviate from the Prime Directive, and you will be replaced.

It’s that simple. There’s nothing else you need to know about guys. You can apply this Golden Rule in all situations:

He wants to have sex and you don’t… you will be replaced.
He wants to go to the club and you don’t… you will be replaced.
He wants breakfast and you don’t want to cook it… you will be replaced.
You don’t want to get out from in front of the television… you will be replaced.
He doesn’t want kids and you’re like “I’m having it anyway! :D “… you will be replaced.
You eat bon bons all day instead of going to the gym… you will be replaced.

etc etc etc ad infinitum. You are neither Spock nor McCoy nor Uhura. You do not resemble Nichelle Nichols:

You are a Redshirt. There is no guarantee that you will reprise your role in the next episode. If there are hostile forces on the planet y’all beam down to, *YOU* will be the first to go. Beleedat. :D

A redshirt is a stock character, used frequently in science fiction but also in other genres,[citation needed] whose primary purpose is to die soon after being introduced, thus demonstrating the dangerous circumstances faced by the main characters. The term originates from the science fiction television series Star Trek, in which security officers wear red shirts and are often killed on field missions under the aforementioned circumstances.[1]

Now that we’ve… delved into the psychology of men….. Let’s discuss why “AlphaBean” refers to himself as a “manboy” and “can’t even say ‘I Love You’ in private without feeling like a tool”.

By both of his statements, “AlphaBean” informs us that he’s been BRAINWASHED. I can only imagine what a “manboy” is supposed to be. It sounds like a character from “Land of the Lost”.

However, I’ll assume it’s a reference to someone whose age indicates that they’re a man, but whose behavior & mannerisms indicate that they’re a boy. *YAWN*. If that’s the case, WAKE UP, “ALPHABEAN”. There’s no blueprint to human development. You feel how you feel and that’s it. There’s no agreed-upon AGE where someone starts to feel differently than they felt before. Just because you’re 72 doesn’t mean you can’t pull 54-year-old chicks. Free your mind. Stop blaming yourself for not keeping up with the Joneses. Do You.

As far as “feeling like a tool” (whatever a “tool” is), for saying “I love you” in private… Why don’t you examine what that phrase means to you?….. Where did you learn it? What did it mean to you as a child? What did it mean to you when your parents said that to you? DID your parents say that to you? Is “I love you” merely a tool you use to get laid? Is “I love you” a term that you emotionally reserve to ONLY say to “The One”? If that’s the case, then you won’t feel comfortable saying “I love you” to a chick that you know damned well is NOT “The One”. Capisce?

On top of that, according to your profile, you live in the United States of America, which means that you will most likely be labeled a PUSSY for telling a chick you love her, even if you do, with your entire heart and soul. If it’s not that you’ll be less of a man, you might be worried that your relationship to her will change instantaneously by saying three bullshit words that anyone can say to anyone with no fear of getting struck by lightning. You’ll also be penalized by society for telling more than one chick that you love her, which is known as polyamory. You’ll also be penalized for telling a chick you love her if she’s already in a so-called relationship to someone else. The job of your Superego is to carry society’s brainwashing along with you to beat you over the head whenever you’re ready to do whatever comes naturally to you.

So, yeah… Being that I minored in Psych @ MIT (alum.mit.edu/www/billcammack), I can go on and on about “The Psychology of Men” all day and all night. That wasn’t my point, in “Ladies: Why He Wonâ€™t Call You His Girlfriend”, but I’m glad you brought it up! :D

Cheers! :D

DatingGenius

317 Reelsolid.TV s03 ep035 – Dead or Alive

Bill Cammack — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:06:55 +0000

Formats available: iPod (.mp4) | Phone (.3gp)

Richard Blakeley & Nick McGlynn front a "Rock Band" team performing "Wanted: Dead or Alive" at the Next New Networks / Tumblr party celebrating NY Internet Week.

Bill Cammack » Richard Blakeley

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