A reader asked me a question the other day that pertained to my post “Hard To Get” vs “Expensive To Buy”. I’d like to clarify my position on dating & monetary exchanges…

The basic point of that post was that if a gal requires some kind of monetary exchange from a guy in order to give it up, she’s essentially a hooker. Sex for Money is Prostitution and there’s no way around that, purely by definition.

What happens is that the guy adds up the expenses he incurred while attempting to get on, and that becomes her “purchase price”, let’s call it. Buy her an expensive dress and you can get some. Take her out to three dinners and you can get some. She’s basically been reduced to a simple business transaction… “So long as I can afford X, she’ll give me Y”.

The solution to this for women is to make it clear that y’all are acting from your own personal power. You need to let a guy know that you hooked up with him because you wanted to and not because you accepted being bought.

Buying Sex

When I wrote that post, I was speaking specifically to the issue of gals that think they’re making themselves look good by holding out and then eventually giving it up. The problem with that style is how you’re perceived by that guy, going forward. If he thinks he bought you, once or several times, that’s a pretty terrible look for you.

The issue that was brought to my attention yesterday is that there are LOTS of guys for whom MONEY is their ONLY rap style. I hadn’t considered the situation from the viewpoint of a woman that’s *OFFERED* money, gifts, dinners, clothes, trips, etc because that’s that particular suitor’s style of wooing females and NOT because she requested any of these things from him before being willing to interact with him the way she genuinely wanted to from the first time she saw him.

This is a slightly complex situation which hinges upon the reason (in his own mind) why he’s spending money on her. He might consider himself doing her favors, as any guy might do for a gal he likes. He might consider himself building equity towards sex, like layaway. He might consider himself demonstrating to her that he can provide for her and offer her “the finer things in life” if she chooses to be his woman (and possibly fiancee or bride).

The other issue is how SHE feels about receiving money, items & favors from guys that are courting her. Some women like to pay their own way… ALL THE TIME. :D Some gals are used to the game and they know what’s probably coming down the line if they start accepting things from guys, which is “What can I get in return for all those goods & services I provided you? >:D”.

Perception Is Reality

Some women don’t want the time that they’re taking to get to know a guy and figure out if they want to mess with him to be perceived by him as the time it’s taking him to buy sex from her. Some gals like to demonstrate that they have careers too and they make money too and they want to come to the table as equals and not dependents.

As usual, I think communication is the key here. Gifts either need to be rejected with an “I appreciate that, but no thanks :)” or accepted while making sure that he understands that his gesture isn’t getting him any closer to getting laid.

That’s a tricky issue as well, obviously, because saying “Wow! :D .. This is GREAT, and you still can’t get any! :D” isn’t the best way to accept a gift.

Another thing that’s annoying, yet funny to me is guys that “Lead with their wallets” (statement credit: The Anh Vu Show). Instead of them having anything to say about themselves or even about *HER*, the first thing they want to tell chicks about is how much money they’re able to spend on her or what kinds of things they’ve already bought that she’ll be able to enjoy if she rolls with him. hahaha It’s *SO* Pathetic! :D

Countless times, I’ve overheard dudes telling chicks about their cars, boats, houses, expensive apartments, vacations they went on, salary and all other kinds of things that have NOTHING TO DO with one-on-one, interpersonal interactions, which, of course, are the essential *CORE* of dating. They’re basically saying “I know damned well that there’s nothing attractive about me as a person so maybe I can lure her in with these luxury items so she lays down for me anyway”.

Gimmicks & Bribery

Do I think dudes should use whatever gimmicks are available to them so they can get laid? Hellz Yah! :D … Do I think they should pull out the gimmicks *FIRST*? HELLZ NAW! :/ If you can’t get the rap off your looks, charisma & personality and the ship’s clearly sinking… *THEN* mention the Porsche & the yacht. Unfortunately, if that saves your rap, you know what kind of chick you have on your hands, so good luck with that.

A personal bias of mine, and I know this sounds funny as it potentially parallels how chicks are always clamoring for guys to want them for their minds or some other such ridiculousness, :D but I’m not really interested in chicks hanging around me so they can use me… for business purposes… so they can use me for business purposes… I have no problem with women using me if they run out of batteries for The Rabbit or The Butterfly… but I digress…

I’m not rich to begin with, but even if I were, I MOST CERTAINLY wouldn’t lead with my wallet because I’d rather have a chick come around because she wants to hang out with The Kid… Not because she knows she’s gonna be drinking for free or that she’s gonna meet a bunch of people that are actually DOING THINGS with their lives or she wants me to mix her new song or she wants to hang out with the cool kids and be all up in pictures & whatnot.

Then again.. If your wallet’s your last resort, it’s better to have that than to NOT have that. >:D

If the only way you’re going to get your hands on chicks is to bribe them, more power to ya and Good Luck with that. :D

Business Transactions

As you can tell, I’m not a strip club fan either. The concept of giving a chick money for showing you her body is ludicrous at best. Chicks are supposed to want to show you their bodies FOR. FREE!.. Which, I suppose, takes us back to my initial point.

I got the title for this post from this song called “Ain’t Nothing Going On But The Rent” by Gwen Guthrie.

This song was an hilarious reply to the common way guys would greet gals and try to talk to them by saying “What’s going on? :D”, to which she would reply “Ain’t *NOTHING* going on, but the rent! :D”. I’m laughing right now, just thinking about how upsetting this reply is! :D

Here are some of the lyrics:

Bill collector’s at my door – what can you do for me?

No romance without finance, no romance without finance

Boy, nothin’ in life is free
That’s why I’m asking you, what can you do for me?
I’ve got responsibilities
So I’m lookin’ for a man who’s got some money in his hand

‘Cause ain’t nothin’ goin’ on but the rent
You got to have a J.O.B. if you want to be with me

Boy, your silky words are sweet
But we’re only wastin’ time if your pockets are empty
I got lots of love to give
But I will have to avoid you if you’re unemployed

Oh, you look good to me, your silky words are sweet
But your pockets sure look empty

It’s like, ok.. I get it. You’re a ho, if not an actual professional hooker. I get it.

I also get that guys will use gals as much as they can for free, so I can’t hate on women that attempt to procure monetary compensation for agreeing to lay down for 5 minutes (or less) worth of sex before dude falls asleep on top of her.

What’s Real & What’s For Sale?

I think the WIN here for women is to make it clear that money & gifts aren’t influencing your decisions on whether you’re going to hook up with a guy or not.

Another WIN is making sure you understand HIS motivation for buying you stuff or giving you money or paying your phone bill or whatever.

He may very well be doing you a friendly favor. My friends and I buy each other rounds all the time… rounds of drinks, not ammunition.

It’s a social gesture that builds rapport and contributes to more of a “togetherness” feeling than if everyone’s paying for their own drinks.

OTOH, He may be keeping an accountant’s ledger of how much dough he’s spent on you, hoping that when he finally tells you what he really wants to do with you, you’ll feel too guilty from taking all those bribes to refuse his physical request.

Put it this way.. I’ve seen dudes drop $600 USD in one night in a strip club, buying 20-minute “Happy Ending” sessions in the back rooms. If you don’t think a dude will drop a couple hunnid to eventually (after several dates, shopping sprees or whatever) have you to himself for an entire evening, you’re mad.

There’s no amount of money that a guy can pay a gal to have sex with him that makes y’all look GOOD, so your best bet is to make it clear that money, gifts & special considerations don’t have ANY effect on your decision-making processes, whatsoever. If he’s clear on that and still wants to buy you stuff and you’re willing to receive it from him, good for you… Enjoy! :D

Trust & Believe that you’re way better off remaining broke (poor) and retaining his respect for you as well as your own self-respect than you will be if you have a couple more dresses in your closet or eat a couple of steaks and he thinks of you as ass for sale.

Related Posts

• Bill’s Dating Tips For Women [Part 05]
• Ass Out, In The Garbage (Homegirl Epic Failure)
• Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)
• Buying Women
• Paranoid Players [Hunters, Part 04]

Reader “Elly” requested an article about “Why men always come back” and I informed her that that would be a one-word article. :D

We all know what that one word IS, so I won’t bother to take the easy way out. :D

Instead, let me begin this discussion (to be continued in the comments section) with a sweeping generalization. This is not a rule… It might not even be very true (haha, AS *IF*), but we’ll need it in order to go deeper than the obvious reason that guys renew their romantic acquaintances with women after a breakup or a falling-out.

So here it is…

It’s more important for a guy to want to have sex with a gal than for him to like her.
It’s more important for a gal to like a guy than for her to want to have sex with him.

This is why females don’t understand what time it is when guys attempt to rekindle their relationship. It doesn’t make sense to y’all, because when you don’t like someone, you generally don’t want to have sex with them. OTOH, guys aren’t burdened with that problem. We don’t need to like you AT ALL to want to have sex with you. It’s entirely irrelevant.

The Process

So.. The falling-out occurs and both of youse declare how much you dislike each other and it’s over and yadda yadda and you go your separate ways. Directly afterwards, the woman commiserates with her homegirls about how she THOUGHT she was in love, but she really wasn’t… (Which is a lie, BTW. There’s no such thing as THINKING you’re in love. You are, or you aren’t. The fact of the matter is that you WERE IN LOVE WITH HIM and you got JERKED so now you feel corny for having been in love with someone that played you out so you appease yourself with Revisionist History so your dating record shows that you were only in love the one time that it worked out forever.) Meanwhile, the guy figures out how he’s going to get laid.

Eventually, they become aware of each other again and she’s thinking “I’m so MAD at him!!! grrrr” and he’s thinking “Damn.. She’s lookin’ good. She Could Get It! :D”. Next thing you know, the gal’s all surprised that he’s being nice to her and he wants to sit down for dinner or a drink or coffee or Kool-Aid so they can talk about old times and figure out where their relationship went wrong…. Yeah, Right. He’s trying to hit it. Whatever argument y’all had, he probably thought “Damn.. Chicks are really stupid. \o/” and immediately forgot about the topic AND YOU while he focused on hooking up with other chicks.

In order to understand this, we need look no further than man’s best friend… Pornography.

Differences

Did you ever notice that there isn’t any dialogue in porno movies? I mean.. That’s what I heard… If there IS any talking, it’s not female character development. It’s whatever needs to be said to facilitate the role-playing to set up whatever fantasy they’re trying to sell to guys. Women think that porno movies are ridiculous and nonsensical, yet they continue to fly off the shelves because they portray lives that guys would love to live… Surrounded by FOYINE chicks that really don’t say much at all! :D

Meanwhile, women are turned on by stuff like… Guys that stay in relationships with them for years. Guys that listen to them… Guys that express their feelings and emotions… Guys that are kind of like their best friends… Except they’re *NOT* their best friends because we all know what a guy who’s a woman’s FRIEND gets, right fellaz??? :D … That’s right… NOTHING! :/

So that’s why women DON’T come back. Once you’ve kicked her to the curb and told her what you REALLY thought of her while she was on her way out the door, you go straight from Boyfriend to Sub-Friend category. She’s DEFINITELY not tryin’na hook up with you after that. She doesn’t even want to SEE YOU ever again! hahaha So she’s not coming back. You already proved to her that you’re not “The One”, so there’s no need for her to fu er… Make Love to you anymore.

Clueless… *NOT* The Movie

What’s the most fascinating to me about this topic is that women. just. don’t. get it. \o/ The same thing happens every single time. First, she says they had an argument and talks about how stupid he is. Next, she says they broke up or she broke up with him or he broke up with her and then they ACT like it’s all over. This is where I nod because she’s not talking to me, she’s talking to herself. She knows that he could get her back in a split second if he apologizes or whatever, but denying that fact makes her feel good about herself, so good for her.

Next, some time goes by and then she’s like “hmm… He hasn’t apologized yet. I think he’s seeing someone else”. Next, it’s “He’s dating someone.. He must have been cheating on me with her before we broke up! :O”. Let me clear that one up for you, ladies… Picking up chicks can happen in, like, one minute. You could see your ex-boyfriend two weeks after y’all broke up with a girl he’s been dating for three days and she’ll LOOK like they’ve been dating for a long time because he’s doing the right thing by her to put that “This is my man right here! :D” smile on her face. She’s also happy that some chick fumbled this dude so she could pick him up. Just because your ex is all hugged up with some chick doesn’t mean, well.. If her kid looks like him, you may have a problem.

Then.. Some more time goes by and she ACTUALLY gets over it. She’s not trying to psych herself into believing it anymore. It’s real. In the meantime, she’s been working out and making herself look good and wearing better gear now that she’s spending money on herself instead of his broke ass. So that’s when one of two situations occur. The first possibility is that he sees or hears about his ex looking FOYINE and/or some of the fellaz are snapping on him about how they’re gonna tap that now that he fumbled it and she’s looking infinitely better than she used to and he feels the need to try to get back in the saddle before the fellaz return with stories of how they had his ex’s leg up on her kitchen counter.

Thirsty

The second option is normally what happens. Dude experiences a drought and frantically contacts every chick that he figures he can score some easy sex from….. without paying.

Since “Yo.. Are you at home? I need to get my **** ****** and I’m in your neighborhood” usually doesn’t yield the desired outcome, dude kicks it to her on the reminiscing tip and wants to sit down for dinner or a drink or coffee or Kool-Aid so they can talk about old times and figure out where their relationship went wrong….

That’s when I get to hear “You won’t believe who called me today!!! :D” and I’m thinking “Yeah, I believe it, and I know WHY, too” while I ask “Who? \o/”, which isn’t ‘Who’ as in I can’t believe that a guy wanted to get back in contact with her, but rather that I don’t know WHICH guy’s coming back to get his **** wet this time.

It actually gets to a point where some women pride themselves on their “ability to get guys to come back” and they totally don’t get that they’re the Crispus Attucks of the dating game.

You’re always on the front lines. You’re always the first to return the text message and then the first one to make it happen in the bedroom and then dude’s Swayze and you never see or hear from him again until it’s time for him to get laid…… quickly.

Related Posts

• Why Men Cheat
• Sex By Mistake?
• Sexless Marriage? AWWW HELLLS NAW!!!
• Responsibilities in Relationships
• Some People Are Just Crazy!!! \o/

Men cheat on women they’re in relationships with because their desire to enjoy their lives is greater than their interest in upholding their word to you. There are lots of other reasons, but let’s start with that one. It’s really very simple. The same way he told you he was going to take out the garbage and then DIDN’T, he told you he was only hooking up with *you* and he ISN’T.

That would be known as a lie. Lies are often told to get people to do something.. In your case, lay down and spread your legs. He knows you’re not going to do that (or at least you’re going to make a big deal about it) if he tells you he’s tappin’ other chicks, so he lies, you give it up, and all is right with the world. :D

This leads to the question “How could he lie to me? :O”. Because it’s effective. It works. It’s the same reason that people cross the street when the sign says “don’t walk”. They get where they were going faster.

So, reason #1 why men cheat is.. They felt like it. \o/

Sexual Pressure

This one’s more of an excuse than anything else, but I still need to bring it up. Women are drugs. Asking a guy why he ****** that chick is like asking a drug addict why he smoked whatever he smoked. It’s what occurs to you to do. It’s like when you walk up to a door, you elect to open it instead of walking through the glass.. it just OCCURS TO YOU to open the door. Same thing with chicks. If she’s hawt, it just naturally occurs to you to **** her. :D

To be clear, this is quite different from the much heralded and lately overused “I’m A Sex Addict” excuse. I’m not saying that guys can’t control themselves. I’m saying the desire is automatic.

Lots of guys claim they’re going to be faithful to their girlfriends or wives while they’re in a state of no other women throwing sex at them. It’s very easy to claim you’re not going to do something that you have no opportunity to do anyway. I can say I’m not going to climb The Great Wall of China because I’m not in China. However, if I were standing right next to the wall with the proper equipment, hehehe >:D

So a lot of guys get caught out there when women press up on them because they’re not used to the rush. They’re not used to the concept “I could actually have sex with this woman right here”, and in some cases, it’s just too much for them to pass up.

Yes, I know that’s a sign of weakness and not upholding their word, etc. I agree with that entirely. I’m just saying that there are SOME times where guys legitimately expected and fully intended to be faithful to their women and just plain FAILED in the face of real opportunity. I’m not saying they should be excused for their behavior, just mentioning a possibility.

“Strange”

There’s also the concept of “Strange”, which is short for “Strange *****”, which basically means a female you haven’t had sex with yet.

A lot of guys will hook up with a gal just because it’s going to be a DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE from his regular chick. Her body is different. Her movements are different. The way she sounds is different. Her motivations are different. What she’s willing to do is different…

Sometimes, guys cheat just to see how it is.. Try something different for a change. Actually, sometimes, this works to his girlfriend’s benefit because he has such a wack experience that he realizes how good he has it at home and reapplies his focus to his woman! :D

Breach of Contract (Looks)

This is partially the guy’s fault for downplaying the importance of his physical attraction to his woman in describing the reasons he decided to “Wife her up”, but attractiveness & access are built in parameters to romantic relationships. The reason he chose you is that you were more attractive than other women he met, or perhaps that you were LESS attractive, yet way less of a PITA (Pain In The Ass). Either way, at the time he kicked it to you, you were above a certain threshold of attractiveness according to his personal tastes.

Therefore, you may be found to be in Breach of Contract should your physical appearance change dramatically. If you were slim when he met you and then you cold lamped on the couch with the bon bons and the remote control until you put on 30-40 pounds, he just might not be interested in hooking up with you anymore.

Same thing in the other direction. If he completely enjoyed the fact that you have more bounce to the ounce and then you decide to starve yourself so you can look like the stick-figure mannequins they put on fashion show runways to emulate walking coat hangers, he just might not be interested in hooking up with you anymore.

If he liked your long, flowing dark hair and you cut it and dye it blonde, he just might not be interested in hooking up with you anymore. You don’t have to like it or even believe it. It’s just a potential fact. Apply some basic logic.. Guys don’t like hooking up with chicks that don’t turn them on when they’re SINGLE!.. Why in the hell would they want to do that when they’re in a relationship? O_o

Breach of Contract (Action)

Similarly.. If he still *IS* attracted to you and you decide to stop hooking up with him for whatever reason(s) you have, that’s tantamount to Breach of Contract as well. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You can’t claim exclusive domain over a guy’s sexual satisfaction and then not give it up. hahaha Sorry. It doesn’t work like that. :D

Is it your *RIGHT* not to hook up with him? Absolutely!.. Unequivocally! :D … And then right after that, your man’s going to figure out how he’s going to get laid since you abdicated your position. If you’re not getting under the desk with the cigar, some other chick will.. Capisce? haha YA FEEL ME? :D

Power / Ego

Lots of times, guys cheat in order to prove to themselves that they can.. that they’ve still “got it”. If he’s a Hunter, for instance, he’s not going to be satisfied with resting on his laurels and relying on old-ass memories of Glory Days in way-past history to validate who he is today by recalling who he used to be.

So you pulled one chick 20 years ago, or 10 years ago, or last year or last month or last week or yesterday, who cares? That was then and this is now. What can you do TODAY? >:D Can you still pull chicks with your looks, style, charisma, gift of gab, gimmicks, lies, authentic interactions, whatever? Who are you NOW? Can you still make it happen?

This is probably one of the more unfortunate reasons because it has nothing to do with whether his current relationship is satisfying or even stellar. It just has to do with his desire to prove something to himself that hooking up with his woman AGAIN isn’t going to validate for him.

Belief System

There are some people, myself included, that just don’t believe in traditional relationships at all. I believe in real relationships. There are people that I’m down for and people that are down for me and we demonstrate that towards each other with our actions throughout history. There’s a gal I’ve never officially dated, but we’ve been together for ~14 years now. She’s met some of my girlfriends, I’ve met some of her boyfriends. If you ask the drones, I have no relationship to her at all because we’ve never declared ourselves “an item”. Meanwhile, my relationship to her is one of the most realistic that I’ve had in my life and probably will EVER have in my life. She does her thing, I do my thing and when we come together, that’s how the day went.

Unfortunately, guys find out rather quickly that if they want an actual girlfriend, they’re going to have to verbally commit to her, truthfully or otherwise. It’s like how when you go to court, they have you swear on The Bible to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.. but what if you’re an Atheist? O_o They’re accepting your oath about something you don’t believe in in the first place.

So there are some guys that don’t believe that their girlfriends or wives don’t have any say over what he does with his personal life and promising her fidelity is completely meaningless. It’s just something she has to hear in order to get down with the program.

Revenge

Even though I think it’s extremely corny, I’m sure there are lots of times that guys hook up with other chicks in order to “get back” at their girlfriends or make them feel poorly. An argument jumps off or he feels disrespected in some way and he decides that he’s gonna “show HER!” by acting out and doing something he knows she’s not going to like.

Of course, this could lead to a spiral of revenge where she gets him back for getting her back and then he gets her back for getting him back ad nauseam. If that’s the case, you’re probably better off just breaking up with each other and saving yourselves and your friends that have to hear about and get dragged in to the drama from the misery.

Attitude

Believe it or not, there are guys that are turned off to having sex with a chick because she’s a JERK! :D

It’s kind of funny how women seem to believe that they can dump all kinds of negativity on a guy and he’s still going to be interested in hooking up with her like he was when everything was fun between them. Meanwhile, that’s why he hits the bar for two hours after work before coming home to you. First of all, so he can avoid you for two hours.. Second, so he can have pleasant company between being at work and being at home, and Third, so he can be drunk by the time you start running your mouth about nothing important.

Some guys end up cheating because they just simply have a nicer relationship to other women than their girlfriends/wives. It’s like “This side-female is doing for me and making my life wonderful while my main chick nags and gets on my nerves every chance she gets.. Why am I doing more for a troublemaker than someone who’s on the same page with me?”.

Again, this is partially *HIS* fault for not telling his woman to shape the **** up and stop being such a pest. It’s also his fault for not screening her properly before selecting her for a long term relationship. He would have known she had a crabby demeanor if he had been talking and LISTENING to her when they went out on dates instead of ignoring her babbling and hooking up with her until she accidentally got pregnant and he got stuck. \o/

Peer Pressure

When guys are hangin’ out “gettin’ girls”, there’s a lot of peer pressure for everyone to participate. It’s actually like a little side-game to see if guys that swear up and down that they’re not interested in women other than their girlfriends change their minds in the flow of the evening.

This is another unfortunate reason, because, again, it has nothing to do with satisfaction or dissatisfaction with the current relationship. A lot of guys get caught up in this, especially when alcohol is involved, and they wake up regretting it or not being able to look their woman in the eye or feeling like they need to fess up and let her know what they did behind her back. On top of that, they don’t even have a good excuse.. Not that ANY excuse for infidelity is “good”, but “I don’t know… It just happened. \o/” is entirely horrific. :D

The other problem with this is that some dudes just don’t want to see other dudes happy so they try to get them to hook up on purpose, specifically so they can get busted and their relationships might end. :/

It’s just sex \o/

Most of the time that you hear about guys cheating, they’re admitting that they got busted. Normally, they don’t get busted QUICKLY after they start cheating. You hear stuff like “I’ve been hooking up with a least 14 chicks that you know of for the last three years”. “I’ve been hooking up with some horrific-looking tattoo female for 11 months”. “I spent $4,000 on hookers”. “I skated to South America on the sneaks to spend time with The Love Of My Life”.

None of this stuff is new. This means that for a year or more, all of these women enjoyed perfectly normal relationships to their men while these guys were getting their side action. That’s because that’s what it is. Action. Recreation. Something to do. These guys didn’t tell their wives they wanted a divorce. They fully expected to continue having their cake and eating it too.

Clearly, as far as they were concerned, fidelity or monogamy had nothing to do with their marriages. They knew who they wanted to have sex with and they knew who they wanted to come home to.

The obvious exception to this is the “Love Of My Life” Governor-dude, because if he was so in love, how come he didn’t just divorce his wife and spend his days in South America with the woman he really cares about? O_o

Anyway.. A lot of guys cheat because it “Don’t Mean Nuthin’ \o/”. They can do it, enjoy their lives and get away clean with it without their wives finding out. Of course, it’s a gamble because if their wives DO find out, they could lose the Kids, the Cash and the Crib! :D

Biology & Statistics

There have to be another thousand reasons why guys cheat that I haven’t mentioned in this post. In fact.. I’m sure there are more reasons why guys DO cheat than there are reasons why they DON’T. If you can think of any, post your favorites in the comment section, below.

Some people like to roll with the biology excuse. I’ve brought it up myself to explain why monogamy isn’t natural, but I don’t believe it usually applies to this particular topic. I don’t know anybody that has sex with the actual INTENTION of having kids. It’s usually like “Whoops! \o/”.

Even though it’s true that having children with different women increases your offspring’s chances for viability in the next generation due to differing genetic combinations, I REEEEEEALLY don’t think that’s what anybody’s thinking when they decide to screw some chick other than their girlfriend or wife. It’s about fun, sensuality, recreation, variety, enjoying the day.. Lots of things.

The only way around this, IMO, is for women to get involved with men that are looking for one girlfriend to begin with. Good Luck with that because there are so many women that are ready and willing to sell out at the drop of a hat that guys looking for long term relationships tend to go off the market relatively quickly, if not instantly.

I’m not saying that all guys cheat, but the infidelity statistics for relationships (men and women combined) has hovered around 50% for the longest. That’s 1 out of every 2 people that cheats at some point during their relationship. IMO, all you can do is put your best foot forward, bring your A-Game to the table, spend a good amount of time getting to know what your Significant Other thinks and feels, and hope for the best.

Related Posts

• Men Are Dogs
• Sex By Mistake?
• Ladies: Please Get A Clue
• Euphemisms For Sex
• Dating Outside Your Intelligence

“Sexting” is the word they made up for people that text to each other about sex. I thought I knew what that meant, but I found out I totally didn’t. :D

For maybe the fifth time, I thought this Tiger Woods fiasco was over and I had really stopped thinking about it, especially since the new scandal is Sandra Bullock’s problems. Unfortunately, I had this conversation recently, which, paraphrasing, went something like this:

Tyme: Do you think Tiger’s wife will get mad about the sexts?
Bill: (Mad Confident) Nope! :D That’s old news.
Tyme: But this chick just released his text messages to the press.
Bill: It doesn’t matter. She already knew about them before his apology.
Tyme: She put them on a website [link].
Bill: (Crazy Bored) ok… I’ll check it out *click*.. There’s no way that OH ****!!!! :O
Tyme: HAHAHAHA
Bill: OH ****!!!! :O
Tyme: HAHAHAHA
Bill: OH ****!!!! :O

So that’s how I received my education in what sexting really is. :) Granted, there’s no guarantee of authenticity because some chick wrote something on a website that those words were actually sent to her, but still… I was under the impression that sexting was when people texted “Come over at 11pm after my girlfriend goes to sleep” and stuff like that. I thought they were texts that were trying to SET UP sex. I didn’t realize that people were doing cybersex over cell phones. :/ Like, OMG, Amateur Hour! :D

History Of Cybersex

Cybersex went out of style SO LONG AGO that I had actually forgotten about it entirely. The only thing more ancient (and creepy) than cybersex is those phone chat lines they used to advertise on late-night NYC public access (free televison) porno shows. You know, those joints where there was some chick that was cute and she would act like she was talking and then they’d overdub some other chick’s voice over the top saying stuff like “Oooh.. I’m waiting here to talk to you… I’m so lonely” and then dudes were supposed to get something out of talking to girls that they ASSUMED looked like the actresses on the commercials on a party chat line where they were paying by the minute? HAHAHA I mean, that’s what I heard.

So then, after that ridiculousness came cybersex, which was pretty cool at first, because it was something new, but it pretty quickly went out of style. Those were the AOL Chat Room days where you’d go to the main room, see who was saying what and then try to talk to chicks that “sounded” like chicks you might want to kick it with IRL… Except you WEREN’T going to kick it to them IRL because none of us really existed. :D

So then after that was the MiGente.com period. This was fantastic because local people were trying to get local raps, so each chick would put her best pictures online which classily displayed both her ass and her face at the same time. Somehow, there was an overabundance of chicks from The Bronx… but you know how chicks are up there! :P~~~

Anyway, I thought MiGente marked the end of the cybersex era. Girls were so easy to lay IRL off that site that I figured nobody would be interested in texting back and forth ever again. Thanks to some porno chick that Tiger was messing with, I found out otherwise.

Don’t Try This At Home

Now, first of all, fellaz.. And this should be common sense… But if you’re not the type of guy to tell a chick “Back the **** up off me and take your hands off my cell phone!”, then maybe sexting isn’t for you. O_o Maybe you should just stick to doing your dirt f2f & IRL and save yourself the broken windows and crashed cars.

The reason I was shocked while reading Tiger’s alleged sexts wasn’t because the language was, er.. well, it wasn’t because of the language itself, but because this may have been the greatest fumble of them all, and it may not be recoverable.

Basically.. If you’re trying to hook up with a chick, you only tell her as much as you need to tell her to get her to lay down. This is especially true if you want to marry said female. The more you look like a Herb when it comes to sex, the better off you are. This is because when you finally get on, while you’re ******* her, she’s fantasizing that you’re sharing something impressively romantic together.

Because of this, you want to say as little as possible and let her imagination do the rest. If she has a nice ass… Don’t mention it! :D If the way she moves on the dance floor makes you imagine how it would be to be with her in bed… DON’T MENTION IT! :D Nothing. Keep it all under the hat and act like you only feel like having sex with her when divine intervention takes over your soul and motivates you to make love to her.

This is all well and good until she finds out something that blows her fantasy, such as now that she’s out of shape, you’re not motivated to have sex with her anymore. Good Luck with suggesting she hit the gym so maybe she can get some.

It gets worse if you’re found to have cheated on her. It gets worse if you were found to have cheated on her with chicks she considers skanks. It gets worse if she finds out you were screwing actual porno chicks. It gets worse if she finds out you were paying them. It gets worse if she finds out you were paying them for threesomes…..

Fumble Recovery

As deep a hole as that may be to get out of, you can still do it with some tricks of the trade….. Which you probably don’t have available to you if you’ve fumbled so badly already. See, If you can convince her that you were doing the same activities with THEM that you were doing with HER, you can still save your own ass by shelling out the $40,000 USD for rehab, claiming to suddenly become religious and swearing off women entirely. Granted, it’s a longshot… but statistically, there’s a sliiiiight chance you can get away with this…….. Assuming she never finds out what you actually said or did to the other chicks.

Dudes usually go the wrong route with this and attempt to convince their woman that the sex they had with the next chick(s) was DIFFERENT from the sex they had with their woman up until she found out what time it was. Nope. Really bad error. If she thinks the sex was different, she’s going to “OH!… That’s what he wanted to do WITH ME!!! >:(” and then you’re done off.

If she thinks you like getting blown by a chick under a table with a cigar, all that playing it off you did that you actually enjoyed her boring-ass vanilla missionary-position sex is out the window.

Unfortunately, the same applies to sexts… Whether you actually got to do it or not, if your woman finds out you told some chick “After I *** you better start ******* my **** to get it hard” and/or “I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust” and/or “I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you.. Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my **** in your *** and then shove it down your throat.. Hold you down while I choke you and **** that *** that I own.. Then im going to tell you to shut the **** up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise”…… it’s a tough row to hoe to get back to “The kids are asleep, let’s make love, honey! :D”

Desperate Measures

To be fair.. He can still get over with “Ha-HAAAA… Come on, honey! I was talking to a porno chick. You know how they are. I was just role-playing! :D”. If he had been caught saying that stuff to some regular chick, he would have been SOL. Still, if your woman actually believes a) that you SAID that stuff and b) that you LIKE that stuff, that’s what she’s going to be thinking about every time you suggest “making love” to her. She’s going to assume (probably correctly) that when y’all were hooking up, you were fantasizing about doing all this porno stuff to her while she was fantasizing about running through a field of flowers into your arms and collapsing on the grass together.

That’s why I’m hoping for his sake that this is the worst fumble in his repertoire and it’s all uphill from here. As long as you can play it off that you were “tempted by conniving whores”, your chances aren’t horrible. Once she feels like you were the ringleader, setting up and paying for some kind of 3-ring circus freak-show sex carnival, your chances become slim to none…

And “Slim” left town.

Related Posts

• Sex Addiction Therapy & Rehab?
• No Romance Without Finance
• Why Men Cheat
• Is Sex Expected On The Fourth Date?
• Unexpected Sex / Just The Way I Planned It

A reader asked me a question to the effect of whether guys expect sex on the fourth date. I thought this was very interesting because I hadn’t ever considered the concept before. Offhand, I would say “No. Sex is Not expected on the fourth date”.
 
Sex is expected immediately.

What He’s Thinking

The only reason he spoke to you in the first place was that he thought you were attractive. Similar to not renting a porno movie and waiting three weeks to watch it, he would like to hook up with you BEFORE he introduces himself to you. By the time you become aware of him, he’s already mentally done the deed a few times while he was figuring out what he was going to say to you to get the show on the road.

The number of dates makes no difference. It’s basically True or False. 1 or 0. Yes or No. She gave it up or she didn’t. \o/ So, for instance, a sequence involving sex on the fourth date would look like 0001. Sex on the third date would look like 0010, etc.

The guy is striving for 1111 and there’s really nothing more to say on that topic. :D

What She’s Thinking

Regardless of whether she likes the guy or not, the average gal on the scene is striving not to look like a ho. At some point in history, the Worldwide Queen Of All Women handed down the decree that the magic number for holding out that qualifies a gal as “not a ho” is three (3) dates. Therefore, observing strict adherence to the Women’s Handbook requires a gal to go 000 on her first three encounters with a guy so she will be beyond reproach if she decides to give it up after that.

Thus, the genesis of the question “Is Sex Expected On The Fourth Date?”. What’s going to happen if a chick goes 0000? What about 0000000000?

We See You Coming

Unfortunately for women, men already know what you’re doing. Some guys are willing to wait it out while y’all play games with yourselves. *yawn* Sooner or later, you’ll let yourself do what you wanted to do the first day we kicked it to you and then it’s Game On! :D

One of the failures of the three-date-abstinence rule is that no timetable was handed down regarding space between dates. This means that you can take a chick out three times during the week and still hit it on Saturday, just the way you planned it. It’s not like you only see her ON Saturdays, which would mean that it would take you an entire month to get on.

Another failure is that sometimes, holding out makes a guy MORE likely to hit it & quit it instead of LESS likely. Going out with you and not demanding sex might mean he’s willing to date you ad infinitum without hooking up. It could also mean that he’s got other chicks to kick it with while he waits for you to come around. This is one of the main reasons why I say that sex isn’t expected on the fourth date.

Never. Say. “Never!” ;)

Guys know that BEFORE the fourth date, chicks are gonna kick themselves for giving it up, so date #4 is really the first time they’re spending authentically uninhibited time with them. Assuming the guy hasn’t bailed already, if he’s waited out three dates, there’s no reason he wouldn’t wait out four dates or six or twelve.

You have to consider the reason why she’s dating you in the first place…

She’s going through her usual process to determine whether she wants to give you some or not. If she wins the game and you become her boyfriend, she automatically inherits responsibility for your sexual satisfaction.

It’s not like she’s NEVER going to give it up.. She just wants to feel like it’s a good probability that she’s going to get what SHE wants out of the relationship before getting down with the program.

So.. Date #4 isn’t any sort of significant milestone for a guy. It’s still a 1 or a 0. He gets on or he doesn’t. It’s not like a guy’s gonna say “Tarnation! :/ I took her out all four times like I was supposed to and she STILL didn’t give it up? I’m OUTTA HERE!” :D

If a guy likes you as a person, he’ll hang out with you whether he’s getting on or not. If he doesn’t like you as a person, giving him some most likely won’t change how he feels AT ALL. If you seem sincere in not wanting to have sex with him, most guys will be cool with that too.. Assuming, of course, you’re not the only gal he’s dating. :D

Related Posts

• How To Pretend To Listen (Cricket Status)
• Ladies: How To Get To Know Your Boyfriend
• Ladies: How To Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend
• Paranoid Players [Hunters, Part 04]
• Why Women Are Better Liars Than Men