Rachel Maddow wanted to know what the logic was behind Mike Huckabee saying the following about Herman Cain’s latest problem:

YouTube Link => youtu.be/JXYTGuTSexY

“Greta, It’s a serious charge.

The allegation is one that could upend his Presidential campaign, and I think the reaction that he’s had to it, when he said that, unlike the harassment charges, which he denied, he said this was a private matter.

In essence, he may have given an answer that will be very difficult for him to work himself out of.

I think this is the most damaging allegation that has been made to date, no question about it.”

It’s really very simple and obvious, but it requires an accurate grasp on reality to figure out.

The Problem

This is one of the reasons that I loved “Jersey Shore” so much when it first aired, and until they started watering it down to protect the ‘star quality’ of the cast members… I knew that people were going to be able to see with their own eyes things that I had been telling them for years and that they didn’t want to believe.

Nobody wanted to believe that dudes make out with multiple chicks at the same time.
Nobody wanted to believe that dudes pull a chick, hook up with her, and then pull entirely different chicks the next day, the next day, and the next day, because it’s sport and recreation.
Nobody wanted to believe that guys punch chicks in their faces.

The reason they didn’t want to believe these things is because it doesn’t fit their concept of reality, and they think their concept is correct, when it’s actually brainwashing that they received from their parents, teachers and peers and has no relation to reality AT ALL, except when they’re surrounded by people that subscribe to the same brainwashing.

For instance. You feel safe when you’re standing on a sidewalk, because cars are SUPPOSED to drive in the street. However, I’m fully aware that if a driver screws up or deliberately chooses to or there’s some mechanical failure, that person’s car can come right up on the sidewalk and head right for me.

While you’re busy not believing that the car is going to hop up on the sidewalk, I’m diving and rolling in slow motion like CHiPs, and good luck to you on surviving. :D

The FACT is that the car can come up on the sidewalk where you’re standing. Your BELIEF that it won’t do that disallows you from contemplating actual reality.

So, in this case, the question is whether it’s worse when a guy is accused of sexually harassing a woman (or three, or four..) or when he’s accused of having a 13-year long friendship with a woman during the course of his 49 year marriage to some other woman, which may or may not have included sex, but definitely included A LOT OF PHONE CALLS, including at least one that’s timestamped around 4am.

At this point in time, the year 2011, everyone’s going to profess that the sexual harassment allegations are more egregious, because everyone wants to appear politically correct.

Meanwhile.. The reality of the situation is that some people subscribe to political correctness, and some people just say they do so they aren’t chastised for what they really think and believe.

Similar to Jersey Shore, this situation is a window into reality.

The People

First of all, you have to consider the women that are making the allegations.

The women that claim that Cain sexually harassed them obviously have a problem with him. :D .. It makes perfect sense that they’d want to go to the press and talk about what he did, in an effort to derail his Presidential aspirations, which he never had, by the way, which is another thing I hate about PC behavior is that people have refused this entire time to admit that this guy never was an actual Presidential candidate, and he’s only out there increasing his popularity and selling books, which I said a long time ago, but that’s not what we’re discussing right now. :D

However.. Cain’s homegirl.. His home-skillet for 13 years.. She’s going to be way more credible when she says she hooked up with Cain.

Not only did SHE say she’s known him for 13 years, but Cain has admitted it as well.

Also, there are phone records showing the recent interactions between them. In fact, a reporter texted Cain on the number in the phone records and Cain called him back.

The only difference between their stories is that she says it was “inappropriate”, which is female-speak for “sexual”, and he says that it wasn’t, and that they’ve been “Just Friends” for the past 13 years.

So, on the one hand, you have a bunch of chicks that Cain is denying interaction with, and then you have one that he’s admitted to knowing. Already, that makes the consensual affair allegation more damaging than the sexual harassment allegationS.

The Proof

Next, you have to consider the issue of proof.

One gal claimed that Cain felt her up in a car. She has no pictures, videotape, or audio of that scenario, plus no witnesses that saw her get into a car with Cain or saw him feel her up = no evidence = that case isn’t going anywhere.

Whether he did it or not, she can’t prove that he did it, so it’s over.

Two more women made complaints and got paid off by the company Cain was working for at the time. Their proof is buried inside the fact that if they talk about it, they’re in violation of the non-disclosure terms of their settlement/agreement, and will suffer consequences that they don’t want = maybe they have proof, and maybe they don’t, but we’ll never know, unless someone leaks the documents = sexual harassment non-starter, as it pertains to Cain’s “campaign”.

The proof in the consensual “affair” situation is that the woman’s speaking clearly and plainly to the cameras, she’s under no legal obligation to not say she’s been hooking up with Cain, she’s providing telephone records that show 60 calls/texts over 4 months to his private cell phone, and even though it hasn’t become an issue yet, she’s said that Cain was paying for her to travel to locations where he was going to be, including mentioning what hotels they stayed in and which restaurants they ate in, which is easy enough to prove with credit card records if she bought anything while she was in the same place Cain happened to be, over and over and over and over…..

YouTube Link => youtu.be/QjnPNqaP9ss

So the proof in the sexual harassment allegations is either “absolutely zero” or “effectively zero, due to legal constraints”, while the proof in the consensual relationship situation is 100% as far as friendship for 13 years, since both have stipulated to that fact, and the only question is whether Cain ever hit it or not.

According to that video, both of them also stipulated to the fact that Cain has given her money, adding to the credibility of the long-term friendship allegation, but doing nothing for or against the affair allegation.

The Perp

Next, you have to consider the guy that’s supposedly doing the harassing and having the affairs.

The situation that’s most interesting to me is the one where some dude was on a pundit show and said that he and a bunch of other people personally witnessed an incident between Cain and a female coworker at some restaurant or party and then shortly after that, she bounced from the job, but he wouldn’t talk about the situation.

That’s interesting because if what he’s (not) saying is true, Cain has felt free to ‘do his dirt’ in public.

I do dirt in public all the time, because I’m single, and I do the **** what I want, whenever the **** I want.

There’s lots of evidence of The Kid doin’ his thang residing on various people’s digital cameras, which will probably never see the light of day, due to #NOBLOG status agreements, but if they do, who cares? \o/

Everybody who was there saw me do it.

I did it because I felt like it.

If I would have felt like being private about it, I would have extracted the chick before making moves.

This is why I’m interested in what that dude on the pundit show hinted at.

If Cain was so bold as to kick it to some chick in front of a bunch of coworkers that all knew he was married, I’ll have to give him dap as far as feeling like he has his employees in deep check, so that they’re not going to snitch on him, hehe but that dog wasn’t gonna hunt once he tried to (albeit, fakely) run for the highest office in the land, and, frankly, on the planet.

Of course.. At the time these sexual harassment allegations were being made, 12 years ago, which makes it around the year 2000, there was no way in hell that Herman Cain was going to ever be considered to run for PotUS, Republican OR Democrat, so how was he to know that his shenanigans were going to ever make a difference?

While we’re on the topic, I’m sure this is one of the reasons that none of the viable Republicans wanted to run for President. As soon as they become frontrunners, people are going to start researching who they know and how they’re related to them, and sometimes, it’s better to leave the skeletons in the closet. :D

Anyway.. *IF* Cain was kickin’ it to some chick in public, there are enough people that saw it that one of them are eventually going to be approached by a tabloid and offered enough money to snitch on him.

If you watched the video above, that gal says that she met Cain when he was giving a presentation, he invited her out for drinks, he invited her to his hotel room, he told her she was fly (attractive, pretty, beautiful..), he invited her to different locations that he traveled to, put her up in hotels, took her out to eat, autographed two books that he wrote years apart from each other, contacted her 60 times within 4 months, gave her money, and she’s never worked for him in her life… If she’s telling the truth, why WOULDN’T Cain utilize the same M.O. on chicks that work in his company?

This is *ANOTHER* reason why this allegation is more damaging than the others. She has intimate knowledge of Cain and how he operates. The sexual harassment allegations are, let’s say, hit-and-run. It’s like, you roll up. You see what you can do. If she’s with it, good. If she’s not, who cares? \o/ The women don’t know anything about you other than you tried to get on. If they don’t have physical evidence of it, they have no proof, whatsoever.

The President

Next, you have to look at what it takes to become President of the United States of America.

There’s a reason why James Buchanan was the only bachelor President, and that occurred between 1857 and 1861. o_O

You HAVE. TO. BE. MARRIED. to make it ANYWHERE in the higher ranks of govenment.

This is why a lot of these political sex scandals occur. The guys know they have to be married for the sake of their careers, so they hook up with some chick, have a kid or two, and continue living the single life until they get caught out there.

Besides the obvious reason that a President needs to be married, marriage is an agreement. You agree that you’re going to do certain things. You take an oath. You swear up and down on a stack of bibles. You give your word. You tell people what you intend to do, going forward.

Similarly, you have to take an oath when you’re sworn in as PotUS.

An alleged consensual affair is more damaging than sexual harassment allegations because you swore to your wife that she was going to be your #1 chick and you were going to forsake all others, or whatever people claim they’re going to do when they get married.

If you can’t be trusted to not have other girlfriends besides your wife, you can’t be trusted to build electrified fences all the way across the border between the USA and Mexico, and fly drones overhead, and make gas $2/gallon, and evict 12,000,000 illegal aliens from United States soil, and privatize Social Security, blah blah blah blah blah.. You just can’t be trusted.

Once you get *INTO* office, you can screw Marilyn Monroe or Monica Lewinsky or whomever you like.

Before you’re elected, however, you have to *APPEAR* to be someone that takes your marriage vows seriously.

Gingrich is going to have the same problem with his election attempt:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newt_Gingrich

Gingrich has been married three times. In 1962, he married Jackie Battley, his former high school geometry teacher, when he was 19 years old and she was 26.[129][130] Gingrich and Battley have two daughters from this marriage: Kathy Gingrich Lubbers is president of Gingrich Communications,[131] and Jackie Gingrich Cushman is an author, conservative columnist, and political commentator[132] whose books include 5 Principles for a Successful Life, co-authored with Newt Gingrich.[133] In the spring of 1980, Gingrich left Battley after having an affair with Marianne Ginther.[134][135] In 1984, Battley told the Washington Post that the divorce was a “complete surprise” to her. According to Battley, in September 1980, Gingrich and their children visited her while she was in the hospital, recovering from surgery, and Gingrich wanted to discuss the terms of their divorce.[136] Gingrich has disputed that account.[103] In 2011, their daughter, Jackie Gingrich Cushman, said that it was her mother who requested the divorce, that it happened prior to the hospital stay, and that Gingrich’s visit was for the purpose of bringing the couple’s children to see their mother, not to discuss the divorce.[137]

According to L.H. Carter, his campaign treasurer, Gingrich said of Battley: “She’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer.”[138][139] Gingrich has denied saying it. His supporters dismiss Carter as a disgruntled former aide who was miffed at not being asked to accompany Gingrich to Washington.[140]

Six months after the divorce from Battley was final, Gingrich wed Marianne Ginther in 1981.[141][142][143][144] In the mid-1990s, Gingrich began an affair with House of Representatives staffer Callista Bisek, who is 23 years his junior. They continued their affair during the Lewinsky scandal, when Gingrich became a leader of the investigation of President Clinton for perjury and obstruction of justice in connection with his alleged affairs.[145] In 2000, Gingrich married Bisek shortly after his divorce from second wife Ginther. He and Callista currently live in McLean, Virginia.[146] In a 2011 interview with David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network Gingrich addressed his past infidelities by saying, “There’s no question at times in my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.”[143][144]

So there’s documented proof that Gingrich hooks up with chicks *BEFORE* becoming divorced from his current chick and then trades up. :D

We’ll see how long it takes before this becomes a central theme for people that don’t want him to become the Republican nominee…

You can do that when you’re already down with the system. When you’re trying to get *INTO* the system, you have to appear prim & proper.

A 13-year “friendship” with some chick that you’d most likely enjoy ******* appears neither prim nor proper during an ongoing 49-year marriage to a different woman.

The Peers

Next, you have to consider the peers that sit in judgement.

This is where the political correctness fallacy comes into play.

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that one instance of a married guy trying to feel a chick up in a car is true, and one instance of a married guy having a 13-year friendship with a chick is true (whether sex is involved or not).

As far as the car situation, it’s a dude trying to get some offa some random chick…. Who doesn’t do THAT? \o/

Nobody’s going to say that, though, because not appearing appalled is considered condoning, let’s call it, flash-cheating… Something done on the spur of the moment that doesn’t make any difference to your main relationship any more than going to play paintball one day.

Are there a lot of guys that meant it when they swore they weren’t going to hook up with other chicks once they got married? Yes. Are there a lot of guys that get some on the side, and their wives never find out, and their lives go on as usual, with them having some fun recreation with other chicks? Yep.

So, Regardless of what guys tell women, if they hear that Cain pressed up on some chick in a car, the question is whether he got some or not, *NOT* whether they’re going to vote for him or not.

Like, I’ve been saying this whole time that Cain has never been a viable candidate, but when this car thing came up, I wanted to know more details. How did he get her in the car? o_O What made him think she would go for the “casting couch” technique? What did she look like 12 years ago? Does it make sense that he wanted to hit it back then? What was the conversation like when he was driving her to drop her off after she dissed his advances?

Was I there? No. Do I believe her side of the story? Yes. Do I have a logical explanation for that? No. If I had thought he was a viable candidate and I liked his ideas and purported policies, would this event stop me from voting for him? Nope.

Who cares? \o/ He tried to catch some rec. (recreation)

So you can imagine how little people care about these particular sexual harassment allegations that DON’T BELIEVE her story. :D

On the other hand…..

If it’s true that Cain has been friends with this chick for 13 years, and you happen to consider her a MILF *NOW*, you’d best believe she was pretty tight 13 years ago, and Cain’s been hittin’ it every chance he gets.

This is going to be WAY more damaging than Cain trying to feel up some chick in a car one time, because if you back his play after this, you’re going to have to explain to YOUR WIFE about every single one of YOUR female friends that you may or may not have been tappin’ for the last decade. :D

This is why a lot of guys are going to have to distance themselves from Cain because of consensual allegations and not non-consensual allegations. The NC stuff doesn’t affect YOUR relationship to YOUR woman, because she doesn’t believe that you’re out in the streets doing the exact same thing.

Meanwhile, when you introduce her to your platonic friend, she believes you.
When you introduce her to your coworker (implying that you don’t have sex with her), she believes you.
When you introduce her to your cousin, she believes you.
When you introduce her to a friend of the family, she believes you.

If any one of those women… *ANY* one of those women step to your wife and say that they’ve actually been having sex with you, your battleship’s sunk.

The Point

In that 12-minute video I embedded above, that woman says repeatedly, confidently, and believably that she’s been hooking up with Cain for 13 years.

She also gives her reason for snitching on Cain… Apparently, someone she knows snitched on her to the press, and she had started to receive calls from them.

Having seen how Cain has downplayed all the other women that have accused him of pressing up on them, she had two choices.. Wait until the press stepped to Cain with this, and have him play her off and talk about her like he talked about all the others, or go to the press herself and tell her side of the story so it’s on tape by the time Cain starts denying.

If she would have waited, she would have looked worse than she does right now, so this decision is the lesser of the evils. She said she knew he was married. She said she knew she was involved in a “very inappropriate relationship”.

Cain (intelligently, for once) didn’t try to deny that he knows a chick that he’s been incessantly in phone/text contact with, so that places him at the scene of the 13-year crime.

In the sexual harassment allegation situations, Cain’s saying, across the board, “These ******* are trippin’!” :D

If you look at this through the blinders of 2011 political correctness, the sexual harassment allegations seem to be worse, because they’re non-consensual, and you fully expect the perp to deny that they ever occurred, and you believe the accusers, even though they have ZERO evidence and will never be able to win an actual court case or get Cain to admit any wrongdoing.

In reality, half of the people aren’t going to believe the sexual harassment allegations right off the bat, and then half of the people that believe it aren’t going to care.

The entire issue comes down to burden of proof.

The women alleging sexual harassment have to provide videotape or eyewitnesses that prove that Cain pressed up on them, which they either don’t have, or agreed in a settlement/agreement not to disclose.

The woman alleging a 13-year friendship with Cain that he admits to doesn’t have to prove jack-****. :D .. It isn’t on *HER* to prove that Cain had sex with her.. It’s on *CAIN* to prove that he didn’t.
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Related Posts

• Sexual Harassment & Inappropriate, Sexually-Suggestive Behavior
• How To Deny Allegations
• Rolling Disclosure
• Privilege Of Desirability
• Sexual Tension

Herman Cain

Not that I consider Herman Cain an actual Presidential candidate, but I think this Politico story => “Exclusive: 2 women accused Herman Cain of inappropriate behavior” is worth discussing.

Here’s the important part:

Politico: On the details of Cain’s allegedly inappropriate behavior with the two women, POLITICO has a half-dozen sources shedding light on different aspects of the complaints.

The sources — which include the recollections of close associates and other documentation — describe episodes that left the women upset and offended. These incidents include conversations allegedly filled with innuendo or personal questions of a sexually suggestive nature, taking place at hotels during conferences, at other officially sanctioned restaurant association events and at the association’s offices. There were also descriptions of physical gestures that were not overtly sexual but that made women who experienced or witnessed them uncomfortable and that they regarded as improper in a professional relationship.

As it pertains to Cain’s candidacy, this is a whole bunch of nothing that people are going to try to turn into something.

There won’t be any more information about this, because the two women “signed agreements with the restaurant group that gave them financial payouts to leave the association. The agreements also included language that bars the women from talking about their departures.”

So the accused isn’t going to talk about it and the accusers aren’t going to talk about it.

Meanwhile, I just watched Cain spokesman J.D. Gordon NOT deny this situation on Geraldo Rivera’s show. Check it out, below:

YouTube Link => “Cain’s Spokesman JD Gordon Does Not Deny Claims Of Sexual Harassment”

And we all know what *THAT* means! :D

This is one of the unfortunate realities of politics. You can’t afford to admit to anything, because even if you explain how “nothing” a situation was, your opponents are going to sound bite and half-truth you to death because of it.

Here’s the entire segment, with Ann Coulter and Juan Williams:

YouTube Link => “Ann Coulter on Liberal High-Tech Lynchings & Herman Cain (10/30/11)”

Hopefully, somebody’s going to “leak” the documents, because I’d actually like to know how harassing this “conversation” and these “gestures” were.

Cain is going to get raked over the coals for this because his team refuses to talk about it, so he’s going to be vilified regardless of whether the truth behind these allegations are revealed or not.

Also, if you’re the type of person that finds this situation interesting, wait until you find out about the Rick Perry scandal, if he ever makes it back to the top of the polls…

Sexual Harassment

I remember when they first made up “sexual harassment”.

hehehe Yes, I know that sexual harassment has been a staple of life since the cavemen or whatever, but I mean when they actually decided to make “federal cases” out of it, and they started holding “sensitivity classes” on job sites.

Do I think it’s a good idea? Yep. Because a lot of guys take too much advantage and make workplaces uncomfortable for women that either don’t have it in their personalities to tell dudes to **** off, or are scared to do so for fear of losing their jobs.

I think it’s a great idea, and I’m glad someone decided to implement it. However, there are obvious problems with it, and unfortunately, sometimes it’s allowed to go completely overboard.

For instance, when I write, I call chicks “chicks”. There are some chicks that have told me IRL that they don’t appreciate that I call women “chicks”. That’s not my ******* problem.

It’s not my problem because I’m not their boss, and if they don’t like what I write, they can go read some other blog.

If I *WERE* their boss, however, and I walked in on Monday and asked “Hey… How’re y’all chicks doing? :D” in the most friendly and personable way possible, they could STILL whine and complain about my natural language selection and claim I’m sexually harassing them with conversation that makes them feel uncomfortable.

That’s what I’m saying about this Herman Cain situation. Because the word “sexual” is added to the situation, people are going to try to associate him with Anthony Weiner and , when it most likely ain’t that type’a party.

Also.. The fact of the matter is that what you say to women, and the “gestures” you make towards them are colored by whether they’re attracted to you or not.

If they like you, you’re being sociable. If they don’t like you, you’re being a creep.

Being that it’s not likely that the chicks thought Herman Cain was HAWT, pretty much anything he says to them is going to be construed as sexual harassment.

I was chatting with this gal on Friday and asked her what she was going to do over the weekend… Had I been her boss, and had she not considered me cute, she could have tried to press charges for my asking her “personal questions”. :/

So, Yeah.. This Herman Cain / Inappropriate Behavior situation is a whole lotta nothing.

Having said that…

If the eventually-leaked documents indicate that Cain was like “Yo, You’re looking good tonight! >:D .. How about you meet me at my hotel room so you can hop up on my 9-9-9?”, *THEN* we’ll have another Political Sex Scandal to talk about!!! >:D
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Related Posts

• Why Consensual Affairs Are More Damaging Than Sexual Harassment
• Dating Encroachment & “Inappropriate” Behavior
• Rolling Disclosure
• Google Your Date?
• Keep. Your. Legs. Closed.

The casting couch is a euphemism for a sociological phenomenon that involves the trading of sexual favors by an aspirant, apprentice employee, or subordinate to a superior, in return for entry into an occupation, or for other career advancement within an organization. The term “casting couch” originated in the motion picture industry, with specific reference to couches in the offices of casting agents that could be used for sexual activity between the agents and aspiring actresses. But it is now often used in reference to other industries besides entertainment.

Careers which are highly desirable and traditionally difficult to break into, such as the movie, television and music industries, have been the subject of casting couch stories in popular culture. Such trading of favors is an abuse of power, and can become a wider sex scandal if deemed newsworthy.

~Wikipedia

I am EXTREMELY TIRED of hearing from women about what’s supposed to be as opposed to what actually IS. Tired.

Maybe life SHOULD be fair… except it ISN’T. Attractive people get more stuff. Unattractive people get less stuff, unless they work insanely harder than attractive people to make up for the difference. Taller guys get women easier than shorter guys. Shapely women get guys easier than obese women. Rich people get better lawyers than poor people. Guilty rich people skate on charges while innocent poor people get convicted because their lawyers weren’t good enough to properly process the evidence and they couldn’t afford to call in expert witnesses. Women with kids don’t get to do what single women do. Deadbeat dads get their drivers’ licences revoked. Guys’ girls cheat on them and women’s men dump them after being engaged to them for three years…. LIFE. ISN’T. FAIR!

So, I don’t wanna hear it anymore about “Men don’t have to X” or “A man wouldn’t be asked to Y” when that has NOTHING to do with YOUR. LIFE. Pay close attention… If. You. Are. Not. A. Man, Then. Don’t. Worry. About. What. Your. Life. Would. Be. IF. You. HAD. BEEN. A. Man. And. In. This. Same. Predicament!

If you are NOT a man, do NOT worry about what your life WOULD BE *IF* you HAD BEEN a man and in this SAME predicament. First of all, if you had been a man, you might not have been in this situation in the first place. Did you think of that? Maybe the reason you were hired is BECAUSE you’re a female. Maybe the reason you were hired is BECAUSE whomever found you physically attractive. Maybe the reason you were hired was SPECIFICALLY so that guys that you were going to work with would have a chick to try to bag. How about that?

Regardless of how you got there, PLEASE stop thinking that whatever your job qualifications are makes you “NOT a female”. SHOULD guys treat you with respect and equality? Definitely. Can you COUNT on that? Nope. Your hypothetical situations and protests about “if you had been a man, then X” and your hopes that “What’s Right” is going to save you from a bad predicament are exactly what makes you vulnerable to the predicament occurring in the first place.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day, and we were talking about using laptops in public places. She said she wouldn’t do it. My initial response to her was that it’s fine to do as long as you don’t leave your computer on the table and go somewhere else. I honestly felt that way, wholeheartedly, until she said “I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone knowing that I had my computer and potentially following me from the establishment”. That’s when the brakes screeched, and I told her she was EXACTLY right. EXACTLY. I was wrong and she was right, because she was thinking further into the situation than I was.

I would have been A FOOL to say “Well, if you bring your computer to a public place and use it, people SHOULDN’T follow you from there and try to steal it from you” or “People SHOULDN’T steal your computer/camera/what-have-you when you leave it unattended” or even “If you were a man, nobody would try to follow you and steal your computer”. A. FOOL!

You are SIMILARLY A FOOL if you are a woman that a guy finds attractive and you dismiss the concept that he’s going to try to have sex with you BECAUSE you are in a place of business or you are an executive or you are his boss or because you know someone that works there or for ANY. REASON. AT. ALL. Someone commented on one of my posts a few months ago something to the effect of “I can’t believe guys think this way in 2009″. Sorry. WAKE UP! Nothing’s changed about the game. If you feel like you’re getting pressured by a guy, you need to evaluate your situation and decide whether you want to fortify your position, take your chances and hope it works out in your favor, or BAIL OUT of the situation altogether.

Do Not let your pride get in the way and block you from potentially making the right decision FOR YOU. It’s pride that taps you on the shoulder and says “A man wouldn’t have to bail out in this situation, so I’m not going to either”. You are NOT a man, so don’t BOTHER thinking about what a man would or wouldn’t do if someone pressured him. ‘Matter of fact, if you want to think about it that way, like as if life’s supposed to be fair, then make sure you can see yourself RESPONDING the same way a man would. Does that make sense?…

If you want to go that route and say that you’re going to do whatever a man would do in the same situation, you’d better be willing to see yourself punching someone in the face, or worse. If that’s not YOU… If you don’t think you’re going to defend yourself (and defend yourself SUCCESSFULLY) in the event that bad becomes worse, then I suggest you make sure that you avoid “worse” entirely.

While we’re on the subject, I’m going to throw in a tip that I’m pretty sure I tell chicks EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK., which is do NOT accept opened drinks from people AT. ALL. If you don’t see that bartender open that beer and hand it to you, don’t drink it. If you walked away from your drink to go to the bathroom or take a phone call outside, do NOT pick it up and resume drinking it. If you require a visual to understand what I’m talking about, watch this episode of “Pink”, dated January 30, 2009:

So stop sleeping. Some guys are going to come after you regardless of what YOU think or what YOU want. Your best move is to be diligent & vigilant when it comes to your own safety. The more guys get away with, the more they’re going to TRY to get away with. Is it right? Nope. Is it fair? Nope. Is it the truth? Yep.

OTOH, There’s no need to be unnecessarily paranoid about this issue. In most situations, there are checks & balances in place which enable you to fortify your position. It might be your boss, it might be the Human Resources department, it might be the security working the job or local law enforcement, it might be a strengthening of your own demeanor. It doesn’t really matter how it gets done, so long as the potential offenders recognize that there will be consequences & repercussions if they persist in their behavior or ESCALATE their behavior. Without that… If you let them get away with the small stuff, they’re eventually going to try you on something more important. If you see things going in that direction, fortify or break out.

Stick to the facts. Keep your eyes on the prize. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they don’t feel like it. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they’re being respectful to you. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they’re being respectful of the potential consequences & repercussions…. If a guy feels free to do stuff to you that you feel is disrespectful, you have a problem. If he continues after you inform him that you don’t like what he’s doing, you have an even BIGGER problem. If you can’t stop, and begin to visualize how you’re going to fortify your position and return your workspace to being a safe & comfortable environment for you, consider bouncing… go away… break north… leave…

Also, let’s be clear on one other thing. If you feel obliged to remain in a situation where you’re being taken advantage of, Trust & Believe that you DO. NOT. get to choose HOW MUCH ADVANTAGE the perpetrators take of you. Do NOT let your mental fantasies about what’s “right” and what “should” happen in life impair your ability to visualize all of the negative possibilities in your current situation. Similarly, Do Not overestimate your ability to say “No”.

This applies to everyone. If a guy is dating a chick and he has only one girl and he’s living in her house and playing the video games she bought him and eating off of her food stamps, he can talk all that good shit he wants about leaving her, but the fact of the matter is that his ability to make decisions about his relationship is ENTIRELY COMPROMISED by how beholding he is to her for his very livelihood. He knows it. She knows it. Everybody else knows it, too.

If that’s the situation you’re in, then you need to evaluate for yourself whether you actually want to protest or you’d rather lay down on the Casting Couch and take what’s coming to you. If keeping a job is that important to you, then you might need to realize that you’re just that type of person. There’s nothing wrong with that. There are lots of people that get screwed on the Casting Couch all the time… I’m sure many of them even like it or get kicks from the fact that they can get money or acting jobs or advance their careers simply by giving it up a few times. It’s better than starving, right?

right?

So I’m clear now. I’ve said what I have to say about the issue. My rant is done and I feel good. :)

The last thing I’ll add is that everyone who knows me knows I’m the LAST guy to begrudge the next man a chance to get it on with a chick. Any chick. “Don’t mean nuthin’” to me. I’ll listen to his story and probably even ‘slap him five’ and pat him on the back for getting his. This has nothing to do with guys getting laid. This has EVERYTHING to do with informing women about how the world REALLY works, from the standpoint of a guy that’s already done all this stuff to chicks ad infinitum, and having them either not understand or not believe what I’m telling them and walk into the same traps they would have fallen in if I had just stayed shut.

I’m self-absolved. My hands are clean. Good Luck.

~Bill
 

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