L = Lindsey Chen B = Bill Cammack

Lindz & Bill present the top 10 reasons why you should actively seek out geeks for dating, relationships or marriage:

Geeks are always played down in the John Cusack / John Hughes movies, but you’ll notice they always end up with that monumental kiss at the end of the movie, indicating that a long-lasting and loving relationship ensued.

I’ll bet you wondered why they write movies that way… Well, wonder no more!!! Here’s why geeks > EVERYBODY as far as dating! :D

1. You can learn a lot about them by going to their website – usually www.theirname.com. They will have a site.

L: What’s a geek without a site? A fake geek. Google them and you can probably find everything you need to know about them – hell – their favorite food, color and even their blood type. Just be careful though, you can also bet that they have a secret tracking service to track your IP address, so you may want to do this from your local public library.

B: FRLZ! If you can’t go to LindseyChen.com or BillCammack.com and get all the information you need to determine whether you’d like to meet this person or not, they need to turn in their geek credentials.

Even Worse… If you can’t Google Lindsey Chen or Google Bill and find them within the top 10 entries for their name, they’re probably not authentic geeks at all! :/

2. They don’t have time to cheat on you because they’re working on their startup.

B: Geeks have a severely limited amount of time allocated to social interaction. That’s why they buy dogs instead of having kids. Dogs don’t need to be taught English or how to play baseball. They also don’t need a college fund. Anyway… You can be that your Geeky Significant Other is spending every DROP of socialization they can muster on YOU! :D If they say they’re working late, they actually ARE! If they say they’re out having drinks, they’re STILL discussing their business, not trying to get raps. Until they “get bought”, you have absolutely NOTHING to worry about! :D

L: And when they’re out drinking, you know they’re really not. Refer to #9. One of the main reasons they like to work on their startup is because they’re a geek and we all know they have very limited social skillz. So why spend the time being socially awkward while trying to talk to a girl in a bar when they can be at their computer? The computer understands, it doesn’t talk back and it will certainly give you the time of day. Plus, you never have to buy it dinner or worry if its cheating on you ;)

3. Their idea of girl watching is going to images.google.com and typing in “girls”.

L: I mean, honestly… Why would they even think about getting in their car – better yet strapping on their rollerblades and heading down to the local mall or Starbucks to go girl watching? They have their computer, they can easily type in “GIRLS” and mostly likely they can also hack into the site to steal the pictures afterwards. It’s an all around win-win situation for both, eh?

B: Absolutely. “Going Places” is completely inefficient. Real chicks have become obsolete, due to the plethora of free internet porno options available. Sure, they’re nice to look at and all that, but in the time it takes to get them to give it up, you could have handled the business already.

4. You introduce them to The Beatles (or any other good band) and they think you’re the best music talent scout ever.

B: Geeks are normally only exposed to middle-of-the-road Hipster Music that gets passed around on social media sites, like this:

They’re not used to music with actual drive or meaning. Introduce them to a band or artist from a period when they actually had to write good lyrics and play good music to get a record deal, and they’ll thank you profusely for it. ;)

L: Exactly. If all they ever hear is the crappy internet music and they think that’s good, can you imagine the light you can shed on them when you tell them to listen to something worth listening to?.. Take it one step further and buy them a CD… After all, it’s not always all about Limewire or iTunes.

5. You never have to pay customer support to figure out why your website isn’t working.

L: How annoying is it to call customer support all the time to try and fix your website, computer or anything else on the internet? Do you know what DHCP or HTML means? Me neither, but that’s why you have a geek boyfriend/girlfriend. 24 hour support ’round the clock style, and the best part is that you’re not on hold for 2 hours! Hallelujah!

B: No doubt. A few back massages and some “special attention” ;) and there’s no need for you to call Kansas… and be re-routed to India.

6. You know that they googled sexual positions and skillz.

Lux Alptraum & Bill Cammack

B: Don’t you just hate it when you get down to the Nitty-Gritty with someone and only THEN figure out that their entire sexual style was derived from emulating late-night softcore movies on Showtime or HBO?

Forget all that! Just the way they studied for their SATs, geeks study YOUR BODY and figure out the most efficient & expedient ways to get you where you need to go! Satisfaction Guaranteed!.. Capisce??? :D

L: hahaha This is sad, but so true, so you need not worry if you’re the first person they’ve ever been with or the 2nd. (Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves).. And to make things even better, you know they’re clean! – They can probably read off every symptom of ever STD known to mankind, courtesy of google.com, of course.

7. Their idea of a great bachelor party is all meeting up and going on a WoW raid.

L: Going back to the notion that geeks like to “do it online” rather than IRL, this is really a benefit for you… Why go out and get drunk with a stripper when you can kill people or stalk people or do whatever the hell you do on a WOW raid? So much more fun… And you don’t even have to get dressed up to do it!

B: hahaha Not to mention, with the number of chicks on YouTube doing “live shows” where they show more T&A than their actual faces, there’s no point in hitting The Wedge or Scores anymore. Just mute the volume on your computer so their nasal vocal tones and inane babbling don’t distract you from checking out their bodies & it’s INSTANT BACHELOR PARTY! WOOOOOO! :D

8. They’re easy to shop for. They wear the same clothes you do.

B: This is one of the benefits of dating chicks that look good in flannel lumberjack shirts, black jeans and black boots. They look cool and hawt at the same time, and you don’t have to worry about getting stranded at their crib after a night of partying, because you know they have something for you to wear the next day.

Also, you get to avoid being photographed while buying her a gift in Victoria’s Secret and becoming a laughing stock on Facebook.

L: This is true, however the flipside may not be so true. I wouldn’t like to see my boyfriend wearing a skirt and heels. I think the main point is that geeks can’t tell if its designer or if its Wal-Mart brand, so no need to impress. In fact, they’ll be happier that you spent $5 on a t-shirt than $100 bucks and most likely they’ll never know. Prada.. what?

9. They’re too scared to drink because the might get drunk, therefore you always have a Designated Driver.

L: Being a geek doesn’t mean that you don’t drink. It just means that it not only kills brain cells but it can also get you drunk and take it that critical step further, where you could do something you regret! Geeks are way too “smart” to drink and lose their inhibitions. I mean WHO DOES THAT??? :X

B: COMPLETELY! hehe.. This is the Facebook Age. You can’t afford to get blitzed and end up getting tagged in a picture making out with a cardboard cutout of Hillary Clinton.

10. No interference from outsiders. You’re the only one that thinks they’re HAWT.

B: Yeah, your geek-boyfriend has ZERO muscle tone, but he’s googled how to maximize what little athleticism he has to make it happen for you! ;) .. Yeah, your geek-girlfriend looks like a stick figure in her flannel shirt & non-fitting jeans, but her body’s actually BANGIN’, and WATCH OUT if you get her on the dance floor! :D Fortunately, nobody knows these things but YOU, so you can divert all energies from turf-defense and devote them all to enjoying your personal diamond in the rough! ;)

L: Yeah, skinny guys are hot. And if you ever get in a fight with them, you know that you can easily take them… With one arm!… The only problem is that you may want to solicit some extra help on moving day.

Lindz: LindseyChen.com | twitter.com/LindseyChen
Bill: BillCammack.com | twitter.com/BillCammack

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Let’s talk about women that like to play “Hard to get”. :D

While I was reading the comments on a blog post the other day, I came across an interesting passage:

Lucretia: There’s an old adage that says a man walks up to a woman and says “would you sleep with me?” and she looks offended and says “no!” and he says “okay, would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?” and she says “well, of course!” and he replies with “now that we’ve established what kind of woman you are, let’s talk price.”

Not only is this hilarious, but it illustrates EXACTLY the process that guys go through when they’re dealing with women they want to have sex with. Obviously, they’re not going to offer $1,000,000, because a) this isn’t the film “Indecent Proposal” and b) our boy “Client-9″ has already established for us that you can buy chicks AND import them from out of state for a mere $4,000. :D

Nevertheless, ladies, the fact remains that regardless of what your price is, YOU DO NOT want guys to get the idea that you’re selling ass.

The reason I bring this up is that a lot of women are confused about what “playing hard to get” means. “Hard to get” is a state of mind… it’s a way of being, or a lifestyle. It means that you apply your own personal power and intelligence to CHOOSE whom you have sex with. It means that he’s going to have to be an extraordinary person for you to consider having sex with this guy…. You want to make sure that at the end of the day, you had sex for the right reasons, your self-esteem remains intact and his respect for you remains intact. “Hard to get” has to do with YOUR MIND. It has NOTHING to do with MONEY.

See, this is why it’s called PLAYING “Hard to get”. You’re not ACTUALLY hard to get… You just want to convince other people (or perhaps yourself) that you are. The style women often play that they THINK is “Hard to get” is actually “Expensive to buy”.

“Expensive to buy” leaves you in the position of having as much personal power as a plasma television. Similar to Lucretia’s example (though, at much lower rates), the guy’s job was twofold… a) figuring out what your price is, and b) deciding whether he’s willing to pay that much to have you. See… Basically, you’re like layaway:

“Layaway, also referred to as lay-by in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and Great Britain, is a way to purchase an item without paying the entire cost at once. However, rather than taking the item home and then repaying the debt on a regular schedule, as in most installment plans or hire purchases, the layaway customer does not receive the item until it is completely paid for.”

Notice how that leaves your personality and mentality out of the equation, entirely? This is why you want to AVOID the perception of being a woman who sells ass, and make sure that guys understand that you’re going to do what YOU want to do WHEN you want to do it and that what they do for you can gain them FAVOR, but ultimately, if they get on AT ALL, it’ll be because you decided from your own discretion and personal power that you feel like giving this guy some.

Here’s how you can tell if you’re not ACTUALLY playing “Hard to get”…. If you have criteria in your mind for “giving it up” that the guy you’re thinking about can effortlessly fulfill, you’re playing “Expensive to buy”. Actually, in a lot of cases, you’re even playing “Cheap to buy”, depending on his current cash flow.

As a side note, I used to work for the government, which means that you get to rub elbows with people from all social classes, from the branch director all the way down to the secretaries and security guards. On payday, my lower-class friends would cash their checks… meaning they would go to a bank, hand them the check and receive cash which represented the last two weeks that they worked. So now, these guys, whose pockets were normally perfectly flat and empty had a literal WAD of cash in their pockets. An actual BANKROLL. Along with this bankroll came an extra pep in their step and Cheshire Cat grins a mile wide, because they knew damn well that they were about to get laid. This is the elation that fuels songs like Johnny Kemp’s “Just Got Paid (Friday Night)”. Now, this is great for the fellaz, but disastrous for the ladies, because it’s clear to these guys that some women are for sale. Not in the Client-9 fashion, but TODAY they can afford to provide whatever it is you require to lay down with them.

Here are some examples (by definition of “effortless fulfillment”) of when you THOUGHT you were playing “Hard to get”, but you weren’t. :D If you refused to hook up with him because you liked him and thought he was sexy and wanted to share a good time with him, but you gave it up after he:

Took you shopping ($200)
Told you he loved you (Free)
Took you to dinner ($60)
Waited three weeks (Free, except for whatever cash he spent “dating” you until you finally came around)
Bought you a drink ($7)
Told you he wasn’t dating anyone else (Free)

See what I mean? The difference between you giving it up and “NOT” was something he gave you or did for you, not *your* state of mind. Unfortunately for you, while you consider stuff like this “I made him do what I wanted”, he sees it as “I paid her what she requested”. This is why it’s better to either hook up with him when you FEEL LIKE IT (which might be immediately), because you WANT TO, or even to accept the dates and drinks and clothes and trips and NOT give him some, so you don’t come off as being bought. Believe You Me… There are LOTS of guys that would drop $200 on a chick in a split second if they knew they were going to get on after that. I’ve seen guys drop $600 in a single night in a strip club, so if you think he considers you a holdout or “not easy” because you didn’t give him any until he took you to Miami for the weekend, think again. That money he’s dropping is all in the game… He’s just waiting until he hits your price. :D

As I noted in the list, instead of money, your price might be verbal/emotional. If every time your so-called boyfriend wants to hook up with you, your response is to block him with “Do you love me?”, sooner or later, he’s going to LIE and say that he does, which will result in your panties automatically removing themselves from your person. Same thing goes for meeting your parents or your closest girlfriends. Same thing goes for walking your dog or cuddling with your cat on the couch. Ultimately, the ends justify the means and whatever barriers you think you’re stacking in front of him, he’s gonna climb over them to get to The Promised Land. Once again, you’re better off giving him some from a position of your own personal power than having him think that he FINALLY tricked you into dropping your drawers.

Speaking of drawer-dropping… If you can’t hold your liquor, either don’t bother playing “Hard to get” AT ALL, or make sure you never become extremely inebriated around guys that you’re physically attracted to. As soon as a guy figures out you’re “good to go” after a certain amount of drinks, all other rapping tactics cease and desist. No more shopping sprees, No more late night creeps, No more VIP, No more dough… :D Scottie will divert all of the ship’s dilithium crystals and funds towards getting you drunk. Avoid these situations by either not drinking at all or getting the bartender to add water to your drink while he’s watching the thong contest.

Another good thing you could do to not come off as purchasable is “Go Dutch” or pay for dates yourself. That whole “Guys pay for dates” thing is based on back in the day, when women couldn’t have jobs or own land, so they were dependent upon their suitors to “make them an honest woman” so they didn’t become Old Maids. That’s from back in the day when the cavemen had to go hunt for the food and you had to sit in the cave, hoping you didn’t starve to death. Those days are over. Sistahs are doing it for themselves, YA HEARD? :D Reach for that wallet and pay for half of the dinner or the drink tab or the trip or whatever you just did. That way, when YOU DECIDE to do the right thing and get with the program, he doesn’t get to feel like he’s finally getting what you owed him from all the money he shelled out. He has to recognize that you chose to get with him from your own personal power, and nothing he could have done would have bought you. That’s actually better than playing “Hard to get”… that’s BEING a discerning and powerful woman.

~Bill

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I had an interesting conversation last night with a few of the ladies @ this party I went to. It jumped off, because one of them said she should hire a stylist (which is going to be The Kid’s new venture, right after I finish writing this post). Unfortunately for her, she had mentioned earlier in conversation that she had a boyfriend. So I immediately replied:

“Your boyfriend’s supposed to be your stylist.”

She immediately dropped back into this “what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” pose and was looking at me with this funny expression, so I was like AWWWWW HEEEEERE WE *GO*!!! :D

Her general position was that guys can’t dress girls. I was like “of course they can, because we know what looks good on you and what doesn’t”, to which she replied:

“Men know what looks good on women, but they don’t know WHY it looks good.”

So I stood there for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something that made sense.

…….

That didn’t happen. :)

Here’s the problem with her statement… Looking good is not OBjective, it’s SUBjective. You feel a certain way when you see something that looks good. A painting, a chick, architecture, whatever. Also, what looks good to one person doesn’t necessarily look good to someone else. So… The fact THAT something looks good is way more important than the reason WHY it looks good.

Stephanie Frasco & Bill Cammack

I’m sure you could ask a guy WHY some article of clothing looks good on a chick. You probably won’t get a response for a while, because auxiliary power has been switched to 1) looking, 2) thinking about what he’s looking at and 3) continuing to stand up straight instead of falling over. After that, he may or may not be able to give you a technical description of WHY that item looks good on her, but the fact remains that “WHY” doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he receives the proper physical stimulus from checking her out. :)

So anyway, I tried to inform her that she didn’t know what she was talking about. I think the next thing I asked was:

“So your man doesn’t buy clothes for you?”

Same “what’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” pose + weirdo stare. :) That’s when The Kid realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this as a one-on-one conversation and opened the floor to some nearby females. At least there was a range of responses. One said that her man bought clothes for her, but then equated that to him being domineering and posessive. Another one agreed with the first one, that men can’t buy clothes for women. A third one said that she had been with a guy who would buy her clothes sporadically. Needless to say, this had ZERO effect on the original gal’s perspective, which is why, as of today, I am now a personal shopper…. or shopping assistant….. or whatever the title is of people that get paid to tell people what to wear, hahaha :D

As my first oficial act of … hmm. I guess this makes me ShoppingGenius! :D

As my first official act as ShoppingGenius, I will now inform the fellaz on how to dress your girlfriends…..

First of all, the most important thing is knowing how SHE likes to dress in the first place. This is important because you want her to WEAR what you buy for her. If she likes to dress like a dude, don’t pick up a sun dress for her. If she likes to dress like Little House on the Prarie, don’t buy her modern clothing. You have to find out what your parameters are, and then select appealing gear inside that range.

Second, you have to know her size. This is important because you want her to be ABLE TO WEAR what you buy for her. :) Being that she’s your girlfriend, at some point in time, you should have access to her clothes when they’re not attached to her body. Write down her measurements, or twitter them to yourself. Make sure you do this while she’s asleep or in the shower. You know how chicks get with hallucinating about their actual size, or at least lying TO YOU about what it is. This is why you’re not going to ASK HER what her sizes are. She’ll give you the sizes she wishes she was, and not the sizes of clothes she can actually fit in. This reminds me… use your judgement. If your girl loves to stuff herself in jeans, creating unnecessary Muffin-Tops, make sure you increase the value of the sizes you retrieved from her gear.

Also, buying clothes for chicks is seasonal. If you go out with one for an entire year, you’ll notice they tend to get more and less “liquid”. This is, of course, unless they actually diligently monitor their physical condition, which is optimal! :D Anyway, you have to know where your girl currently is with her volume fluctuation. VOLUME is the key thing here, not weight, which is why it’s so funny that chicks always talk about “I need to lose 5 pounds” “I need to lose 10 pounds”, when who cares how much you weigh, when you don’t LOOK any better? So make sure you err on the high side of her volume, or else she’ll only be able to wear the gear in like three month cycles.

Now, you might be wondering… “Why in the hell would *I* want to dress my chick?” :) Well… Why did you buy that fancy car? Why do you work your ass off all day to get some money? Why did you go to the gym to work off all that beer that you drank? The same way you’re hooking YOURSELF up, you should be hooking YOUR GIRL up. There are a few reasons for this…

Women tend to confuse “a clothing item which looks cute” with “a clothing item which looks cute ON THEM”. How many times have you seen/heard women compliment another woman that looks absolutely HORRENDOUS in some gear that doesn’t fit her? It’s not that they’re being polite. They actually believe it looks good, I guess because of the colors or the fabric? \o/ … If your girl has this problem, you need to help her out with her clothing selection.

Did you ever notice how Presidential candidates are always married? This is because (amongst OTHER reasons, hahahahaha) guys are judged by their chicks. If you Pair Bond with a chick, you’re saying “this is the best I can do”. Having your chick look better, rather than worse, is ALWAYS in your best interest.

On a personal note, you want your girl to look good because she should ALWAYS catalyze you to think/feel “Yes, Yes… Yes Sir… Cain’t wait to tap that, sunnnnnnn :D “. If you let your girl walk around like a slovenly hippie bum, she’s not going to inspire you… causing you to interact with her more platonically than you’re supposed to and your entire physical relationship to her is less efficient/effective than it should be. The better SHE looks, the more into her YOU’RE going to be, and the more SHE’S going to be into how into her YOU are.

One more thing is, you don’t want to overdo it hahaha :) You’re buying her clothes to go out in the street in, not to model for you in your own crib (which is another issue, entirely). You want her to look good, but not like a professional hooker. Actually… if SHE tends to overdo her gear, buy her some conservative clothing that still looks hawt on her. The first benefit here is that if your girl looks too good, drunk dudes tend to act like AssHats and you might get in a beef over it. Second, you don’t want to tip the “fail scale” and go from “damn… his girl looks HAWT!” to “I know he’s paying her” (as in, he’s a customer). Third, you want it to be gear that she’s comfortable wearing, and some chicks just aren’t comfortable with how attractive they really are.

So now you’re ready. Sneak her measurements. Add at least +2 to all of them. Hit stores that are along the lines of gear she likes to wear, except buy GOOD-LOOKING ish. Surprise her with her presents, then go sport your new & improved chick around town.

PS – You do NOT want to tell her HOW you were able to buy clothes for her that fit perfectly. Make up something romantic like “baby, I’ve held you so many times, I just knew…. :D ”

So go out there and make it happen. Remember…

DiY, or your girl’s going to pay me YOUR MONEY to do your job for you. :D

ShoppingGenius

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