Bill Cammack

Appreciating your girlfriend is one of the best things you can do to keep your relationship fresh, interesting, and exciting. :D

All too often, we completely ignore or just plain fail to acknowledge “the little things” that our gals do for us that make our lives so much better.

Sure.. We make sure she “gets hers”, but other than that, what are we really doing for the special women in our lives? o_O Read the rest of this entry »

Reader “Katie” asked me when I felt people who have just started dating should add each other on Facebook.

This is a very interesting question, and potentially complicated.

It depends both on how people utilize Facebook and how they date. Read the rest of this entry »

Now that Valentine’s Day, 2011 is over and you just found out that you’re not your significant other‘s primary relationship, you’re probably thinking about bouncing… breaking up with that person.. ending your relationship and starting all over…

We’ve already talked about how to get over your ex-boyfriend and how to get over your ex-girlfriend, but those are emotional considerations.

Getting back in the game might be a bigger leap than you imagined, so let’s discuss a few issues… Read the rest of this entry »

Over the last couple of weeks, no fewer than three of my homegirls (and probably more that I’m not aware of) have dumped a guy because of his personality.

I’m always amused by these stories because I like to consider the reverse situation and whether I’d stop kickin’ it with a chick for the same reasons. Read the rest of this entry »

A lot of people seriously overestimate the amount of influence they have in their relationships. This is because they don’t understand how and why they were selected by their significant other in the first place. Read the rest of this entry »

My ex and I had a superbly, fantastically EXCELLENT relationship for approximately four years… She would lie to me, and I would catch her lying. :D

I’m sure that doesn’t sound excellent to *you*, but it was for me. The fact that she was constantly lying meant that she was constantly trying to get over on me. It meant that she was going ALL OUT to get her way in situations. I admire and respect that, and I’m the same way. I want to WIN. I like being around people that WANT TO WIN and are willing to do whatever they have to do to achieve their goals.

What’s good about liars?

The fantastic part about this is that I kept experiencing instances where I could collect data about how she acts, sounds and looks when she’s telling the truth and when she isn’t. Eventually, maybe one year into our relationship, well, let’s say the ‘romantic’ part of our relationship, since we’re still close, to this very day… I had learned her behaviors so well that I could tell by her breathing patterns how she felt about things. There was this little “catch” in her breathing that would occur when she stopped “being” and started “thinking”. It was like Keanu seeing the double-cat in The Matrix. I knew that whatever I was about to get was something she was crafting or making up as opposed to something that she was naturally giving me, from her heart & soul. Read the rest of this entry »

What if you don’t have much in common with your “significant other”? O_o

Reader Alexis brought this up, and I think it’s a good question. It’s also a question that people tend not to think about until it’s too late, and they’re already involved in a so-called ‘relationship’.

At some point in your relationship, you’re going to get tired of having sex with your SO all the time and then you’re actually going to have to hang out with them. Horror of Horrors! Oh, the Humanity!!! :O

This is a problem because a lot of people treat SOs differently from actual friends. That’s because they’re NOT friends. They’re in a mutually beneficial relationship. Sometimes, a mutually parasitic relationship. Read the rest of this entry »

Are you trapped in your relationship? :) Do you have like ZERO options other than your current girlfriend/wife as far as kickin’ it with chicks? :) If this is the case, then PLEEEEEEEASE don’t try *ANYTHING* I post to this blog as far as techniques on how to get women or how to treat women or how to carry yourself around women, hahaha :D Read this blog for entertainment purposes or if you’d like to fantasize about living life the way you actually imagined it, but DO *NOT* try any of this stuff with a chick that you’re stuck with. You’re just asking for trouble. :D

If you’ve got like eight (8) kids with one chick or you live in the sticks and you’re dating the Sheriff’s daughter or you’re a bum and you have a Sugar Momma or you’re actually in love with some chick and you’re not gonna leave her regardless of what she says or does to you or any other trapped-ass situation… then do yourself a favor and don’t try to carry yourself like single guys do. Leave the fun stuff to the guys livin’ that life, and you do what YOU have to do to maintain your existence as-is.

Make no mistake, I’m not knocking getting married and having kids. If that’s what honestly floats your boat, more power to ya, and I’m happy for ya. :D What I’m saying is that if being stuck with one chick was NOT your plan for your life, but it turned out that way… play it where it lays. Recognize what the right thing to do is for YOU at this point in time and live your life properly, where you feel like when it’s all over, you did the best thing for yourself and everyone else involved with you. Don’t bother trying to be what you wanted to be when you’re stuck being what you HAVE to be.

I’ve been thinking about this for a few reasons. Reader “Frank” made this comment on “Ladies: How To Tell He Has A Girlfriend”:

Frank: Asabi: yes I have a GF and I actually do joke around with her about things. I have actually walked away from convos with her friends by saying ‘sweety, you getting played’! If any guys are reading and taking notes about the simple pimp move of buying everyone the same perfume, thats all good because you too just read it. Growing up is what many of us have done which is why we can joke about this stuff at this point in life. Yes, I did the buy 4 girls the same keychain from VS once just for the hell of it, but no, I would not do so now! Having done it or been around people who did/do it still, gives me an insight that I have no problem sharing. Buying two chicks the same perfume – Gangsta! hearing “Uh, no honey I haven’t worn it around you yet, why do you smell like that”? – PRICELESS! :D

I do think woman need to listen to the playas in the crowd and ake notes. How ever disgusted you may be, archive what you just heard, it will probably come in handy for you or a friend later.
I don’t mind giving up some of the basic secrets since im not on the prowl.

Besides the sage advice for guys of buying the same perfume for different chicks, hahaha and the excellent advice for women to take notes when guys that are used to running circles around chicks are talking… The point Frank makes is that while he still HAS his game in mind, he doesn’t utilize it because he’s with someone that he really enjoys, cares about, whatever… and he feels INSPIRED to be focused on HER. I think that’s fantastic. It’s extremely important for a guy to have a proper view of what’s going on in his life so he doesn’t try some playboy ish he read in a blog and jack up a good thing.

Another reason I was thinking about this is I watched this movie, well, the movie was garbage, so I actually FFed through it, but this guy had a girlfriend who got mad at him for some reason they chose not to develop properly in the script. So she storms out of the house, talking all this yang, and you don’t see her for I don’t know how long, because I was fast forwarding haha. So the next time you see her, she’s all gleeful and runs up on the guy she stormed out on and jumps into his arms and kisses him and he’s all happy to see her. :D

Now, I know this was a movie, but guys go out like this all the time IRL. I’m thinking, looking at this garbage… Where are the “Consequences & Repercussions” from her catching an attitude, acting like an asshole and breaking north with no delay? Where’s the conversation about her behavior? According to the script, dude gladly accepted her back as if everything was regular. There are at least two problems with this:

1) By accepting her weird-ass behavior, you’re labeling her a PSYCHO and admitting that you don’t care about that. It’s basically like, regardless of how retarded you are, I’m still gonna hit it. That has to do WONDERS for your own self-esteem and completely enables her to continue being a JERK.

2) By taking her back without conversation & resolution, you’re admitting that you didn’t have JACK better to do than to wait for her to come around. Witness your leverage plummet to sub-zero. The next time she feels like acting out, you’re going to be the victim *AGAIN*, and you’re going to keep grinning about it, too.

So I’m thinking to myself… “What were the script-writers thinking when they figured out this scenario?”. It’s got to be that the guy either CAN’T GET a better girl or DOESN’T WANT a different girl. There’s nothing wrong with either scenario, but if that describes YOUR LIFE… then Act As If and Act Like You Know! :D

If you’re not gonna leave her, REGARDLESS, then don’t act like a decision-maker. Don’t act like you’re “wearing the pants in the family”. Play your position and do what you gotta do. Make that weekly trip to her Grandmother’s house to spend the ENTIRE DAY with her extended family and not doing ANYTHING that *YOU* wanted to do the whole time. Hit that mall with her on Saturdays so you can hold her bags and sit with other dudes on the benches, looking like lost kids at the security booth waiting for their parents to pick them up. Take your five (5) kids to the zoo while you dream about being at the strip club. Watch one of the myriad dumb-ass reality shows they have on television now about dancing or talent or whatnot instead of checking out the latest MMA fights. Buy that SUV or minivan that everyone can fit into instead of that Corvette or Porsche or bike.

A good friend of mine… we’ll call him “Hal”… messed up and got this chick pregnant that he was kickin’ it with. I can still see his pained face… exactly… right this second. I hope I never forget it, because it was REAL. I was looking at the face of a guy whose life was about to go TOTALLY not how he planned it, and it was killing him. :( … OTOH… It was clear from our conversation that it would have killed him MORE to not be a father to his child. The kid wasn’t even “out yet”, and already he was devastated, yet prepared to “do the right thing” as he saw it and live into his responsibilities. I’m SO grateful that “Hal” shared that with me when he was in the midst of that angst. For me, it was an unique experience. I know lots of other guys that have had accidental kids, but if they had emotions other than ANGER or feeling STUPID, they never let me know about it. “Hal” was honestly devastated and was obviously really hurt by the change in his life’s direction. Within his devastation, though, was HONOR… His pain was the pain of sacrifice that one person honorably makes for another, as firemen do and as soldiers do in wars. HIs focus was shifting, and he didn’t like it, but he was gonna carry that weight.

A few years later, I was in contact with “Hal”, and his son was his best friend. He had completely grown into his new life, accepted it and was making a GREAT life out of it, so props to him! :D

Another reason I wanted to write this is that about 70% of my hits come from Google Searches. People that search Google for dating advice receive information completely out of context. Anybody who actually knows The Kid can tell you that as nice of a guy as I am, I’m completely selfish and self-centered. It’s all about *ME*. Love it or Leave it. :D If YOU aren’t the type of guy to think “This chick is a JERK, and I can do a hell of a lot better than HER!”, then this blog isn’t for you. :) If you’ve got your mind or heart set on one chick, or circumstances have trapped you into a relationship you’re gonna be in until you croak, then get some laughs from my posts, tell your homeboys about it while you’re all sitting on those benches in the malls, holding your wives’ shopping bags and purses, dream about a different life, live vicariously, do whatever you have to do to make living life worthwhile…

Just don’t try some acrobatic ish you read on a blog in a relationship you actually care about or NEED. Leave the playboy ish to the players. Enjoy what YOU have and the way YOUR life’s going. The single life is *NOT* for the faint of heart.

Ya HEARD???? :D

DatingGenius
 
 

If you enjoy anonymity, it used to be that the only people you had to worry about dating were actual celebrities. This was because THEY were the only ones showing up in the media. The paparazzi get paid to chase them all over creation, taking pictures of them, and then they’d end up on those dumb shows that come on after the news that scrape around for any gossip they can find about someone currently famous.

Social Media has advanced to the point where it’s not only the ACTUALLY famous that you have to look out for. There are people that are said to have micro-fame or are called “internet famous”. There are different levels of micro-fame, but the way SM works, the level doesn’t really make a difference. ALLLLLL you need is for one person to take a picture of you and place it on a site or in a feed that other people pay attention to, and you could end up in social bookmarks, reblogged, captioned… what-have-you. Read the rest of this entry »

Wikipedia hit the nail on the head with their first paragraph about the term or concept “Significant Other“.

“Significant other (sig ot, sigot, sigoth, SigO, or SO) is a gender-blind, politically correct term to refer to a person’s partner in an intimate relationship without disclosing or presuming anything about his or her marital status or sexual orientation. It is also vague enough to avoid offence from using a term that an individual might consider inappropriate (e.g. lover when he or she considers him a boyfriend, or her a girlfriend when he or she considers her a life partner). Nonetheless, some are offended by the implication that persons with whom one is not having a “primary” sexual relationship are “insignificant” or would as a matter of course get lesser consideration and emotional disrespect compared to the “significant” one.“

I know you can tell where The Kid‘s going with this one! :D

The term “significant other” is immediately ridiculous. The concept that there is only one person significant to you is retarded… unless you happen to be a hermit and only have human contact with ONE person. In that case, that person is pretty damned SIGNIFICANT! :D Read the rest of this entry »

Richard Blakeley wrote a post for Boinkology.com called 5 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating. I thought I’d add a few reasons why NYC is an especially good environment for guys. :D

In his article, Richard writes:

“Here in New York City, there’s almost a stigma attached to people who actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend, as though you’re denying others of your partying time for your own selfish acts.”

This is absolutely true, and worth delaying the “list of positives” to talk about. There are too many people in NYC doing too many things. Too many people making lots of money. Too many people creating good art. Too many people that are ambitious. Too many people (by sheer numbers… not per capita) that are attractive. Too many people that go out to the nightlife scene. Too many bars. Too many opportunities… Choosing someone as a “significant other” speaks volumes about who you are as a person, or who you THINK you are… positively or negatively. Like Richard said, you’re denying others of your partying time in order to hand it over to this one person… whom you’re likely to be broken up with a few months from now anyway, but that’s a different post.

The question becomes “Why did she choose HIM?” or “I thought he had taste in women” or “I thought she had higher self-esteem than that”. Basically, whomever you choose, there’s someone “better” somwhere within a 5 block radius, because this is NYC. This leads to people either just not mentioning that they’re in a relationship at all (when they are) or selecting a Facebook status of “It’s Complicated”, which basically means “Yes, I have someone… but Yes, you still have a good chance of getting on”.

Speaking of Facebook, that’s another problem with declaring a SO. Once it’s over, you have to un-declare that person. Serial Monogamy being what it is, it’s just better policy to NOT MENTION when you’re messing with someone, so when it’s over, everything’s still status quo. So, yes… There’s definitely a stigma attached to claiming you have a BF or GF. You can HAVE THEM all you want. Just don’t bring them up in conversation. Don’t declare them on ANY social sites. Don’t have ANY pictures of them in circulation… at least “incriminating” ones.

Some people go to the length of hiding actual wives… Like women they went to a church and swore in front of a crowd of people that they were going to be faithful to this chick. It’s like if you’re friends with this person, you know they’re married, but their wife never shows up on the scene… EV*A*R. It’s like she’s a ghost or doesn’t really exist.

The reason to hide “significant others” in an environment with a high frequency of contact with attractive, available chicks is that there are lots of people who enjoy applying THEIR morals to YOUR life. All you need is some weasely chick whispering in her girlfriend’s ear that you have a girlfriend and jacking up your rap. On the other side of that, how many times have you requested information on a chick and what you receive is “oh… she has a boyfriend”. It’s like “Pay attention, stupid… that’s NOT what I asked you”. Then, they look at you all funny, as if “she has a boyfriend” is the only information they know about the chick. People tend to lose their abilities to remain objective and USEFUL when these boyfriend and girlfriend terms get thrown into the mix. It’s better for you to avoid that by keeping your personal business “out the street”.

Actually, this point stands on its own, so I’ll post MY list in “6 Reasons New York City Is The Neverland Of Dating (For Da Fellaz)”

Reader Lisa writes:

Lisa: “I use the number as a guide to tell the odds if he is clean or not. I would love to know how many woman a man is messing with CURRENTLY but guys will lie about that.

Any tips on how to get a man to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently? I wouldn’t care about the past if I he is being honest about the present.”

Lisa, :)

Here’s how to get a guy to tell the truth about how many women he’s messing with currently…..

ready?…..

wait for it…… (yes, Tyme, I bit your style. Too Bad So Sad)

Date an honest guy.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy your evening! :D

Random picture of Masako, Masami & Bill, having nothing to do with this article and linked to my video player page. :)
That’s it. That’s all. That’s the ENTIRE key to getting a guy to tell the truth. It has to be a part of his character from the get. If you create an alliance with someone, you have to start with the proper foundation, or you’re building your house on sand… if not QUICKSAND.

Women have lots of completely wrong beliefs about relationships that make them susceptible to the simplest deception.

For instance, “I love you” is one of the most devastating things you can say to a woman because she attaches meaning to it on her own. It doesn’t have to mean JACK to you when you SAY it, because she’s conditioned by movies, television and “old wives’ tales” to believe that there’s no way a guy could say that to her if it wasn’t the truth. Meanwhile, guys know this. We see you coming. It’s no tougher for us to say “I love you” than it is for us to say “pass the salt”.

So… Easy way to get laid? Tell a chick “I love you”.

I guess that was a bonus tip hahaha :D I meant to talk about truth and ended up talking about deception.

The only way to “get a man to tell the truth” is… you can’t.

YOU have ZERO control over the situation. Here’s the proof… Let’s say your little sister visits you and stays over your crib. Let’s say you COUGHfoolishlyCOUGH leave your man alone with her. When you come back and ask your boyfriend if he tapped that while you were gone, assuming he answers the question AT ALL, there are only two things he can say. YES or NO. Now… There are only two things he can be… A liar or a truth-teller. Here’s the matrix:

He hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Yes, I screwed your sister.”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a truth-teller: “Nope”
He didn’t hit it and he’s a liar: “Nope”
He dogged your sister ALL DAY LONG and he’s a liar: “Nope”

See how that works? Your finding out the truth has nothing to do with what actually happened. It has to do with who he was as a person before you met him. It has to do with whether he values the truth over doing what he wants to do in life… In this case, screwing your sister. :D

The ‘problem’ with the above scenario is that in the case of the guy being a truth-teller, he already KNOWS he’s a truth-teller. He already knows that if you ask him if he messed with your sister, he’s not going to lie to you. Therefore… he’s NOT.GOING.TO.DO.IT! :D The same thing that makes him tell the truth is the same thing that’s going to prevent him from screwing your sister, so the only situation where a guy is going to say “Yes, I screwed your sister” is a virtual impossibility. Approximately 0.00%

Relationships *SHOULD* be built on truth, but for the most part, they’re built on mutually parasitic behavior. A guy sees a girl he’s attracted to and wants to hook up with her. A girl sees a guy she wants to be in a relationship with and hooks up with him. They both have their goals in elevating the other person past “friend” status to “significant other”. Truth has nothing to do with relationships, and is rarely discussed at all. When was the last time you asked someone you were dating “are you a liar?”….. Think about it….. Let’s go back to our matrix:

He’s a truth-teller: “No, I am not a liar”
He’s a liar: “No, I am not a liar”

You see how that works? The liar is going to LIE about being a liar and represent himself as a truth-teller, hahahahaha :D

So, like I said, there’s no way to GET someone to tell the truth. All you can do is spend time with someone that’s naturally a truth-teller. You need someone that values truth ABOVE the current status of his relationship to you. If he went to that bachelor party and had girls all over him all night, he’s gonna come back home and tell you nothing happened and he was bored… Like playing poker or something… Electronic Monopoly! Why should he tell you the truth so you can get upset about it? Why would he decrease his physical access to you? What’s HIS benefit in telling you the truth? WHY should he?

This is why you want the guy to value the truth OVER his relationship to you. You want him to be willing to lose you if it means that he remains truthful to himself and congruent with his stated set of values. A friend of mine is like that. He has tons of chances to “cheat”, but he hasn’t and he WON’T, because he wouldn’t be able to look his girl in the face and lie to her. That’s cool. :D That’s admirable, IMO. I also consider it an anomaly.

The other thing that gets females into trouble is trusting “women’s intuition”. :D

Basically, y’all convince yourselves that you’re good judges of character. The effect of this is that once you believe a guy, he can sell you ANYTHING and you’ll eat it up. To disbelieve him is to disbelieve yourself because of cognitive dissonance. This is why y’all KNOW you’re in a TRASH relationship, but hang on to it anyway. To admit that your man is TRASH means that *YOU* are a POOR JUDGE OF CHARACTER, so you hang on as long as you can in the hopes that eventually, you will prove yourself right.

My only advice to women in the area of trust and truth is Checks & Balances. Don’t date guys that nobody knows! :D There needs to be a “chain of custody”, like they DIDN’T HAVE in the O.J. Simpson trial. SOMEBODY needs to be able to vouch for this dude. Somebody YOU trust.

There are lots of chicks that ended up on The Maury Povich Show because they THOUGHT they knew something about their man…. but they DIDN’T.

DatingGenius