Bill Cammack » slut

Fellaz: Stop Cockblocking The Ladies!

Bill Cammack — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 16:55:21 +0000

Cockblocking normally occurs when nosey-ass chicks refuse to mind their own business and attempt to stop a guy from getting laid.

There are other times, however, when it’s a GUY’S fault that a GAL doesn’t get to meet a guy she might like to hook up with. o_O

This is what we’re going to talk about today…

FELLAZ!!!… Y’all NEED to stop cockblocking your homegirls. It’s tough enough for women to get a date with a guy they like without *YOU* making the situation even more difficult!

Don’t Hate… Facilitate!!! >:D

First Things First

The first thing you need to recognize is that contrary to popular brainwashing, women actually WANT to get laid. They might not want *YOU* to do it, but they want SOMEBODY to do it.

If she asks you to block for her, go ahead and do that. Just don’t assume on your own that she doesn’t want to kick it to any dudes that happen to be wherever y’all are hanging out. If you’re confused, ask her.. Otherwise, make yourself useful or at the very least, stay out of her way while she’s trying to get on.

Chicks are like a “Use it or Lose it” scenario. Figure out whether you want to hook up with her or not and then figure out how much effort that’s going to take and whether you’re willing to put in that much work to get her. If you decide that you’re going to pass, don’t just lamp there like a bump on a log. If she’s qualified to become a part of your inner circle, look out for her like you would look out for one of your homeboys.

If your boy pointed out a chick he wanted to tap, you’d automatically start scheming on how you could help him hook up with her. You need to extend the same courtesy & consideration to your close homegirls by figuring out what they want and then striving to help them to get it.

Creeps & Sluts

Women are pretty useful.

The way society’s been evolving over at least the past 10 years, it’s practically a FEDERAL OFFENSE for a guy to try to screw a chick. It’s really pretty ******* ridiculous. Guys are called all kinds of names, the most popular one being “creep” for doing the exact same thing that brought most people into this ******* WORLD when their fathers bagged their mothers. It makes no sense at all, but it is what it is, and like I always tell the ladies, you have to deal with REALITY and not what you WISH the situation was.

So.. Since guys are called “creeps” for talking to girls and girls are called “sluts” for talking to guys.. Who are women allowed to talk to when they go out to a party, bar or club?… That’s right… Other Women.

So the best thing you can do when you go out (other than have your physical presentation on-point, of course), is to bring a female with you so you don’t have to be bothered with the typical nonsense.

This serves several purposes, including making sure you have fun, interesting & intelligent conversation while you’re hanging out as well as something nice to look at if no other chicks show up to the same party.

Most importantly to this conversation, you’ve brought along your own spy to do your dirty-work for you. If you want to meet a chick that’s sitting at the bar, send your crony /wingwoman / hench-babe to the bar for the next round (where you’ve already set up a tab, so there’s no awkward fumbling with money detracting from her time in the field), tell her which chick(s) to stand next to and strike up a conversation with while she’s trying to order… Chicks like to meet chicks and later, your homegirl can introduce you to the chick you’re trying to bag. Done Deal. Easy Peasy.

This is all well & good, except while your roster of Facebook Friends is steadily increasing, the question becomes…

What’s In It For Her?

What’s the payoff? What’s the kickback? o_O Where does your homegirl see value added to HER LIFE by hooking you up with chicks?

Conventional Wisdom (read: Stupidity) indicates that a good night for a guy is when he gets to hook up with a chick and a good night for a gal is when she AVOIDS hooking up with a guy… Gals like guys as much as guys like gals. The difference is that women have all this mental and emotional garbage that attacks them when they consider hooking up with a guy. “Does he respect me?”, “Is this going to last forever?”, “Is he The One?”, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.. That doesn’t mean that they’re not trying to meet a guy that turns them on. It just means that it’s a lot tougher for them to get what they want. This is where your opportunity to return their favors to you resides.

Especially here in NYC, it’s very tough for women to meet men that they’re satisfied with.

There are a lot of reasons for this. First of all, there are way more women here than men. Second, guys migrate to NYC to succeed in business, not to get into a relationship and get married. They could have done that back in the sticks where they came from.

We also don’t have a lot of “chick-time”, so whatever time we spend with females needs to be……. efficient. >:D .. That whole “Go out with her once a week for a month or two, just to get to ‘first base’” thing doesn’t play here. It’s more like the reviews of “The Social Network” complained about, which was finding out which chicks are sitting on couches at 2am, “drunk & irrelevant”, that might be down for the stroke-ski. (DSS, now known as DTF)

Ultimately, the factors add up to a lot of disappointing relationships for women in this town, and it should be your SWORN DUTY not to add to their misery. Like I said before.. “Use it or Lose it”. If you don’t have any grand designs for her, help her realize her own dreams.

Don’t Hog Prime-Time

Friday night and Saturday night are the times when all the 9-5′ers are allowed outside to play. This is your homegirl’s best time to make a potential “Love Connection” or whatever you’d like to call it.

That’s the time when she needs to be out on the prowl with her homegirls, having a “Ladies’ Night” or pretending that they’re a bachelorette party.

Hopefully, they won’t leave her in the garbage at the end of the night, but the point is that if you don’t have any romantic plans for her, hang out with her between Monday and Thursday, or maybe do a Friday evening dinner, a Saturday afternoon hangout or a Sunday brunch. Just don’t hog up the time when she needs to be in position for some guy to invite her out on a real date.

The other obvious benefit to weekday hangouts is that there are fewer HAWT CHICKS around to distract you from your fellowship-time with your homegirl.

OTOH.. If she WANTS you to hang out with her during Prime-Time, go along with her, but stay on-point as far as what you can do to hook a sistah UP!!! >:D

Dress Her

Do *NOT* let your homegirls dress like their grandmothers when they come to meet you for a night out on the town. Females do this all the time. They figure “I’m only going to hang out with Bill, no need to look Savoir-Faire” and then they invariably look stupid and embarrassed when they see a guy they’d like to meet at the bar you went to and they currently look entirely unpresentable.

Not only is it in your best interest as far as your own Eye Candy, and not only is it in your best interest as far as dudes giving you props instead of elbowing each other, going “Check out that busted chick Bill’s hanging out with”, but it’s in *HER* best interest to look her best at all times because she never knows when that 60-second period’s going to occur during a several-hour hangout where she WISHED she looked good so she could feel confident in trying to get a rap to this guy she didn’t know she was going to meet.

She’s going to protest and she’s not going to understand it. Ignore that and insist that she dresses properly. Veto all items that make her look frumpy and make sure she’s dressed in a way that would catch YOUR eye if you had randomly run into her on the street or at an event.

Introduce Her

Guys are scared to death to talk to chicks. Unfortunately, chicks are even MORE SCARED to approach guys they’d like to meet (.mp3 link. 12 minutes, 18 seconds). This is where you get to pay her back for all those hookups she got you by chatting up other girls at the bar.

Remember when you were a little kid and you were scared to talk to girls? What did you do?… That’s Right.. You had someone else take her a note saying that you liked her. Maybe you were the one that received or carried the notes. Either way, you’re familiar with the technique of the person that’s not intimidated (or, at least, the person with nothing to lose) being the messenger.

If your homegirl’s sweating some guy, find a relatively non-intrusive way to let him know what time it is. Something as simple as pointing over your shoulder and saying “That chick over there wanted to meet you” will do. If you need more ‘connection’ to her, say that your co-worker wanted to meet him, or your lawyer, or your babymommaz best friend.. WHATEVER you have to say to let him know that you’re not kidding and trying to embarrass him by having him approach some chick that neither of you knows and isn’t expecting him to walk over to her.

If dude doesn’t want to move from his spot, tell him she wants to meet him and if he’s down with it, you’ll tell her to walk over there and say “Hi”. If she’s not down for either of those plans, take your drinks and stand around his area with her, talking loudly until he finally turns and looks at her, after which, you unceremoniously disappear so she can get her groove on.

Another technique is to stand around eavesdropping on what team he’s rooting for in the game that’s on television. When you figure it out, have her stand next to him watching the game until the good team scores, so she can yell “HOORAYYYY!!! :D”, at which point, he should turn around and Hi-5 her, kicking off their conversation.

In some cases, you might even have to go wherever SHE likes to go to meet guys. You might end up at the Wine Bar instead of the Sports Bar. You might end up at an outdoor antique furniture show. \o/ .. Just remember that you’re taking one for the team and the sooner you get her hooked up with one of these wine- or antique-liking dudes, the sooner you can stop coming here. :D

Give Her Space

In general, guys don’t want to approach girls that are already talking to guys… I mean, at least so long as those guys look like they might punch you in your face for interrupting their social time with this girl they’re trying to bag or potentially their girlfriend, fiancee or wife.

You might not need to actually talk to a guy that a homegirl of yours wants to meet. If he’s been scoping her and hoping that you step away from her, it might just be enough for you to temporarily vacate the premises.

Stand up near where you’re sitting with her and start making obvious hand gestures, though she can clearly hear what you’re saying since she’s right next to you. If the bar is far away, tip your hand up in the air as if you’re indicating to her that you’re heading to the bar and asking her what drink she’d like you to bring her. If the bathroom’s far away, pat your stomach as if you’re full and just HAVE TO hit the bathroom right now. Both of those situations usually have lines, so it should give him confidence that you’re going to be away from her for quite some time and this is his CHANCE to kick it.

Another good one is to act like your phone just rang, hold it up to your ear, put your finger in your other ear as if you can’t hear and then indicate to her that you’re going outside to take this call. >:D That one works like a charm, except if it’s winter, make sure you take your jacket with you. I did this style one time and was freezing my ass off so my homegirl could get chatted up by this dude. I didn’t actually believe he was going to talk to her, so I thought I was going to be in the cold for like a minute, haha Sucked to be ME! :D

Make sure that there’s a good spot where you can see the action without being seen on your way back. If the rap seems to be going well, stay where you are or go do something else. If it seems like dude is actually a DUD and she’s not enjoying herself, roll back up so he can scamper away to wherever he had been before you hooked up the situation.

Don’t Act Stupid

I know some of you guys don’t know how to act around women, but just try to imagine that you did. Stop clowning and acting like idiots for a second and consider what you’re making your company look like.

If you’re a fool, that means the chick you’re hanging out with knows and tolerates fools. That’s not a good look. If you’re acting crazy, that’s not a good look either. If you can’t hold your liquor, that’s not good either. If you’re acting like her boyfriend when you’re not, that’s not good either.

Don’t tell dudes that ask you about your homegirl that you’re dating her. Just don’t do it. Whether you’re messing with her or not, act like you aren’t, so she has a chance to meet someone that might actually want to become her boyfriend or whatever.

Don’t crush beer cans on your forehead. Don’t make scenes. Don’t start fights. Don’t drink yourself into a stupor so she has to drag your ass outside and put you in a cab home. Imagine that your homegirl is an actual friend of yours as opposed to “Some chick I don’t feel like screwing” and tighten up your game so everyone in your party can make the most out of their evening.

In general.. Avoid doing ANYTHING that would make you change your mind about kickin’ it to a chick after seeing the behavior of the guy(s) she was hanging out with. If you don’t want her for yourself, stop cockblocking. Make yourself useful to her, or make yourself scarce.

Remember….. “Don’t Hate… Facilitate!!!” >:D
–
Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS

Sluts & Whores

Bill Cammack — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:14:11 +0000

There’s nothing a guy loves more than a girl who gives it up… except… there’s nothing a guy hates more than a girl who gives it up. :/

This is one of the most %^&ed-up situations about dating… both for men AND women. It’s obvious why it’s %^&ed-up for women, but it really psychologically screws with guys’ heads, being that they’re the ones that society has dictated has to be the aggressor/initiator.

According to Webster’s, a slut is “a promiscuous woman”. Also, according to Webster’s, a whore is “a woman who engages in sexual acts for money” (and, to be fair, “a male who engages in sexual acts for money”).

Off the bat, by definition, “whore” should be excluded from our vocabulary, IMO, other than to describe a situation where a chick had sex with you because you gave her money to do so. There are no amendments to the definition which mention “chicks who had sex with you because you bought them dinner”, “chicks who had sex with you because you took them out on your yacht” or “chicks who had sex with you because you took them to the movies”, so it seems that the only situation where “whore” is applicable is actual prostitution.

So that leaves us with “Slut”. How did “Slut” become such a negative term, when the definition is “a promiscuous woman”? Who started that? Think about it…

While you’re considering that, think about how pornography and strip clubs are big business in the USA. Apparently, LOTS OF GUYS “like” promiscuous women (and, yes, strippers count, because there are lots of places where you can pay them to do more than dance). Every “Western” movie you ever saw (not that those are accurate depictions of the Wild West) had a whorehouse in it, where everybody would hang out, play cards, get drunk and screw whatever chicks were attractive to them and available at the time. Every movie and televison show you’ve ever seen, from Sean Connery in the James Bond series to David Duchovny in Californication has the male lead getting laid left and right, with no end in sight. So, WHO started the negativity towards “sluts”, and why have you bought into this and propagated it?

Actually, it’s kind of funny. :D Just about everybody has a reason to detest “sluts”….

Single guys detest “sluts” because they feel less special that a girl gave them some if she gives EVERYBODY some.

Single women detest “sluts” because they get all the attention from the guys and make it hard for girls who don’t want to give it up to get boyfriends… or even DATES for that matter, since it gets around that they’re not “putting out”.

Married guys detest “sluts” because if you accidentally marry one, she’s liable to give it up to the next man tout de suite! :D Also, if she has a kid offa him, what’reya supposed to do about THAT? :( Boot the chick, and you probably don’t get to see your own kids so often. Keep her, and you have to raise the next man’s kid along with your own. Rock + Hard Place.

Married women detest “sluts” for hooking up with their husbands and decimating their power in the marriage. No more “sex embargo”, since he can step to the left and screw his goomah if you’re not akkin’ right. :D They also detest “sluts” for having kids with their husbands and dividing the family income via child support obligations.

ok… So, no wonder this ridiculousness persists. Everybody’s down with it! :D

So… What’s the catchy term for “Woman who feels like getting laid and goes ahead and does that whenever she chooses?”………

The only thing we have is like this fetish term, “Cougars”, which basically denotes an older woman that has money and goes after younger guys, because she’s got it like that. The reason that’s a fetish is because it’s still considered out of the norm… an anomaly… a form of deviance. Where’s the term for a REGULAR chick, whose REGULAR life includes hooking up with whatever guys she finds attractive at that time?

Unfortunately, with the definition of “slut” being “a promiscuous woman”, that covers all the bases. :D Regardless of whether she’s having sex from her own base of power and choice or because she’s weak-minded or “easy” or translates sexual encounters into her own self esteem, she’s thrown into the category of “slut” and consequently demeaned.

Oh… In case I didn’t take the proof deep enough… The Webster’s definition of promiscuous is “not restricted to one sexual partner”. So, a “slut” is ANY woman that’s “not restricted to one sexual partner”.

Now, I’m not “righteous” in this situation, haha :D The reason I ever even considered any of this was that I was having a conversation back in the day with a friend where I was explaining to him that this chick got dumped by her boyfriend because she admitted to him that she was a slut (practically verbatim. I don’t remember exactly what I said). His response was, basically “What makes her a slut?”, to which I had no immediate answer, hahaha because TO ME, it was clear and obvious. When I explained to him that she admitted having multiple upon multiple sexual partners before her boyfriend and that’s why he dumped her, my friend’s response was, essentially “So what, if that’s what she wanted to do? What difference does that make in her relationship to him NOW?” Much more argument ensued, but I realized rather quickly that I didn’t have a good argument for calling her a slut, and that I had fallen for the okey-doke. SOMEBODY had made this garbage up, and I was propagating it. I immediately admitted that he was right, amended my personality and moved forward from there. :D

Having said that, I understood the “dumper boyfriend’s” viewpoint. On the one hand, there were tons of guys that had already screwed his girl. She was a local, so so were they, hahaha :D I can see that as being a drag for a guy, wasting brain processing cycles wondering if the guy that just said “hi” to her in the street already hit that. I can also see him irrationally mistrusting her, thinking she’s going to hook up with just anybody, anytime she wants to, even though there was no evidence that she ever CHEATED on ANYBODY… She just had sex with a whole hell of a lot of dudes. :D

There was also probably the issue of “performance anxiety”. It’s better for guys to feel like either nobody or only a couple of dudes tapped that so that when they do their thing, she might be impressed. When you throw 30-odd dudes into the mix, the odds that you’re sexually enthralling trend towards ZERO. :D HAHAHAHAHA

Anyway…

Now, it’s YOUR turn to think about it. Who do YOU think is a “slut”? Is that a fair assessment? Should she be demeaned or applauded for her behavior? Is she “easy”? Is she being used? Or is she doing what she wants to do with the one life she’s going to have?

~Bill

DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius
Subscribe to DG!: feeds.feedburner.com/BillCammackDatingGenius