Here’s what’s currently happening to your life:

Apparently, (and if you disagree, feel free to click here to post your thoughts in the comment section of this post) the Republicans are more interested in making President Barack Obama a “One-Term President” than they are in making sure that you have a job, have personal safety, or keep the house you currently live in.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to *ALL* Republicans, merely the ones that they’ve decided to send as candidates for the United States Presidency in 2012.

I would still like to know why every. single. one. of the viable Republicans have outright DECLINED and *REFUSED* to run for the most powerful position on the planet.

They’re claiming it’s so easy and Obama’s so horrible, yet they wouldn’t throw their hats in the ring, even with the corny field of current Republican candidates.

Supposedly, Rick Perry is now about to duck out of upcoming debates, which is actually a smart thing for him, because every time he speaks, his poll numbers decline, and there isn’t much further down he can go, so he may as well stay shut and hope people don’t watch the YouTube clips of his failed attempts to articulate his position.

Like I said several weeks ago.. If the Republicans have the nerve to send Perry against Obama, Perry’s going to be utterly and embarrassingly DEMOLISHED in debates, handing the easy, landslide victory to the Democrats, and succeeding in throwing the elections for two cycles in a row, after sending Palin as VP candidate last time.

Now, I don’t even care about politics, so I know the Republicans, who are VERY interested in it, know how lame their field of candidates is, yet they refuse to do anything about it. Hopefully, someday, one of them will break ranks and tell the world what their strategy is, because it’s really like they just don’t want to have control of the United States and they’re begging people not to elect them.

Best Laid Plans

Here’s what they thought was going to happen:

The Democratic President can’t do much on his own without passing it through Congress, which is controlled by the Republicans.

Most people aren’t aware of this and think that Presidents do whatever they like, so the fact that they don’t have jobs must be his fault.

This plan went out the window when Obama started snitching on Eric Cantor and John Boehner for their obstructionist tactics.

Obama took the show on the road, explaining face-to-face to the American people that he’s trying to give them jobs, and certain named Republicans refuse to “PASS THIS BILL, RIGHT NOW!!!”

You can tell that the Republicans are busted, because all they can say is “Obama is campaigning.”

Notice how that doesn’t negate what he’s saying about obstructionist tactics? :D Notice how they’re not saying that what President Obama’s saying isn’t true? o_O

It’s like remember on Jersey Shore, when Mike the SNITCHuation told everybody that Snooki blew him?.. Her rebuttal was “How could you tell people that? :O .. You’re not a friend! :O .. You know how much I love my boyfriend! :O”, however, when Mike offered to give the play-by-play of the situation, Snooki didn’t want to discuss it, and walked away.

She also got VERY UPSET when she heard that Mike had called the guy that WITNESSED Snooki blowing him and given him Snooki’s boyfriend’s number so he could tell him exactly what happened… Once again, she was mad at Mike for getting in her business, not for “lying”, which he didn’t.

The rebuttal to “The Republicans are stopping Americans from working” is “No, We are NOT!, and here is the evidence that we are not, and here is how we’re going to get you people jobs ASAP if the Democrats agree with our plans!”. It’s most certainly not “Obama is campaigning” or “He’s trying to start Class Warfare” or ANYTHING other than “This isn’t true, here’s why, and here’s how we Republicans aim to help the working man/woman”.

This is because… Wait for it….. There *IS* no Republican plan to help the working man/woman. o_O

Not Yet.

Scorched Earth

The first way that Republicans could have achieved their goal of making Barack Obama a one-term President would have been to field viable, strong candidates that make you actually consider voting for them instead of Obama.

The Republicans elected not to do that.

If everything stays exactly the way it is for the next 12 months, meaning no more American military victories, no more bad guys biting the dust, and no more jobs created by Executive Order of the PotUS, the only candidate that has a remote, remote, REMOTE chance of defeating President Obama in 2012 is Mitt Romney.

This is why you’re starting to see Republicans lining up to endorse Romney. It’s clear to them that the longer they allow this charade to go on with Santorum, Gingrich, Bachmann, etc, the dumber they look and the less credibility they have.

It’s better for them to clear the field out ASAP so they can focus on Romney vs. Obama.

Of course, everything ISN’T going to stay the same for the next full year, so the Republicans actually have no chance at all.

The game they’re trying to play is Scorched Earth Politics:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorched_earth

A scorched earth policy is a military strategy or operational method which involves destroying anything that might be useful to the enemy while advancing through or withdrawing from an area. Although initially referring to the practice of burning crops to deny the enemy food sources, in its modern usage the term includes the destruction of infrastructure such as shelter, transportation, communications and industrial resources. The practice may be carried out by an army in enemy territory, or its own home territory. It may overlap with, but is not the same as, punitive destruction of an enemy’s resources, which is done for purely strategic/political reasons rather than strategic/operational reasons. It was most famously used against Napoleon’s and Hitler’s armies invading Russia.

The strategy of destroying the food supply of the civilian population in an area of conflict has been banned under Article 54 of Protocol I of the 1977 Geneva Conventions. The relevant passage says:

“It is prohibited to attack, destroy, remove, or render useless objects indispensable to the survival of the civilian population, such as foodstuffs, agricultural areas for the production of foodstuffs, crops, livestock, drinking water installations and supplies, and irrigation works, for the specific purpose of denying them for their sustenance value to the civilian population or to the adverse Party, whatever the motive, whether in order to starve out civilians, to cause them to move away, or for any other motive.[1]”

Despite being prohibited, it is still a common practice. The protocol only applies to those countries that have ratified it, notable exceptions being the United States, Israel, Iran, Pakistan and Iraq.[citation needed]

This first became obvious during the “Debt Ceiling” situation.

Notice how Republicans were saying that they wanted to let the USA default? o_O

Did they actually do that? No. Because they would have gone down the tubes with everyone else, and everybody knows that.

However, it was worth it to them to create a situation where we got downgraded so they can say “Look what happened under the Obama Administration! :O We got downgraded! :O”.

Similarly, it’s worth it to them to make sure you don’t get a job so when the elections roll around, they can say “Look what happened to you under the Obama Administration! :O You were starving! :O”.

That would very well have worked, except Obama’s snitching now. He’s telling the American public exactly who it is that’s voting against fixing that bridge they need fixed and putting those teachers to work and making sure you don’t have to shut down your police force in your town.

This is why Scorched Earth ultimately isn’t going to work for the Republicans.

What they’re forgetting, or perhaps don’t care about, is that there are a bunch of BROKE REPUBLICANS (poor, destitute, down-and-out) who are suffering along with the broke Democrats, and who will have 420 days’ worth of “Cantor & Boehner did this to you!” drilled into their collective subconscious by that time.

Meanwhile, the Republicans are ******* around making low-budget Marlboro commercials:

May The Best Plan Win

Mind you.. I’m not saying they’re WRONG about what they’re saying about the economy. I don’t know enough (or care enough) about economics to have an opinion on that.

If what the Republicans are saying is honestly the best way, or maybe the only way to get more Americans jobs and turn the economy around, I’m all for it.

What I’m saying is that their tactics suck and that they’re going to fail miserably.

They can’t do anything to prevent American war victories (read: President Obama victories)
Neither Cain nor Perry knows jack-**** about foreign policy.
There are years’ worth of videotaped and documented history of Romney saying anything he has to say to attempt to get elected.
None of the better Republicans want the job.
Every single debate, their candidates alienate more and more people.
They can’t decide where rights begin and end…

Let’s talk about that one for a second.

1. Paul says to get rid of FEMA and let each state fend for itself, to sink or swim, literally.
2. Perry says for the Federal government to stop telling the states what to do.
3. Romney blasts Perry for subsidizing the education of the children of illegal immigrants in Texas.. Romney is from Massachusetts, which shares ZERO borders with Mexico, so shouldn’t Romney STFU and let Perry and his legislature do what *THEY* decide is right for THEIR STATE? o_O
4. Bachmann and Santorum blast Perry for issuing an Executive Order affecting families in Texas, asserting that INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS trump STATE’S RIGHTS, and then Bachmann turns around and cries about Herman Cain saying “What it comes down to is not the government’s role or anybody else’s role to make that decision. Secondly, if you look at the statistical incidents, you’re not talking about that big a number. So what I’m saying is it ultimately gets down to a choice that that family or that mother has to make.”

The whole thing is ridiculous, corny & embarrassing, and I would like to say that I don’t believe this is their actual offering for this cycle, but the deadline to pay the $35,000 filing fee to get on the South Carolina ballot is November 01, so Bachmann & Gingrich have to file today, and as far as I know, that’s going to be the end of the opportunities for new candidates to join up.

My guess at this point is that the nomination will end up between Romney and the only two not-completely-written-off-yet Not-Romneys, Cain & Perry.

If Perry stays out of the debates, his poll numbers will rise, because people will assume that all his flubs were flukes.

I’m looking forward to Cain’s book tour and reality show, because I think he’s very entertaining, but he’s not going to receive the Republican nomination.

Eventually, Romney should receive more endorsements and eventually the nomination, but by then, the Republicans’ names will be mud with the American jobless and he’ll get trounced in the general election.

On top of that, I’m fully expecting that at some point, the Republicans are going to have to abandon “Scorched Earth” and pass at least some parts of some bill sometime that’s going to lead to Americans getting jobs.

Just like I refused to believe that they’d hold the line until America ACTUALLY defaulted on our debts, I refuse to believe they’re going to hold this untenable position of doing anything they can to attempt to ensure that Obama is a one-term President.

It doesn’t matter to me, because I’m a freelancer. I couldn’t care less about obstructionist tactics, but there are A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO DO CARE, and if this impasse continues for a few more months, very many of them are going to be wondering “If this is how bad it is when Republicans DON’T hold Presidential office, how horrible is it going to be when they DO??? :O”.

And they would have gotten away with it, too.. If it hadn’t been for that meddling President.
–
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Related Posts

• 2012 Iowa Caucus Results
• Done With Politics
• Obama vs. Romney 2012
• Republican GOP Presidential Candidate Debate 2011 [Part 03]
• Florida Republican Primary… Predictions?

In response to Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01], Reader “C Jay” writes:

“One thing i wanted to ask is about the whole follow the leader thing. Doesnt it make more tactical sense that the wing be the leader, i mean except for target selection he basically determines everything else.”

This is an excellent question and one I’ve never considered before. The short answer is: “The Top Gun leads the rap unless the ‘lesser dude’ in the situation has exclusive recon that makes him the one that should be calling the shots”. Therefore, there are actually TWO configurations you have to deal with.. Who is the leader when neither one of you has a chick yet and who is the leader once ONE OF YOU gets a rap and the other becomes “wingman” by default?

Training Grounds

I really like this question, because I spent A. LOT. OF. TIME. as NOT THE TOP DOG when it comes to pulling chicks. There are two ways you can deal with this.. Fight against the pecking order and still try to pull the top girls or go with the flow and benefit from the trickle-down as well as learning what the players did to be successful so you can emulate them in the future.

When you first start out in the game, you don’t realize you’re at a SEVERE DISADVANTAGE because you don’t know what guys are doing to attract chicks. You think it’s pot luck. “I went somewhere, a chick liked me, I got on”. Little did you know that tricks of the trade were being used to send primitive indicators to girls that they should select the next guy instead of you. If you pay close attention for long enough, you figure out what they’re doing.

You have the same jeans on, but theirs are perfectly ironed and creased. You have the same jacket on, but they work out and they’re in better shape than you. They go to the barber shop before the weekend so their “line is tight” and you don’t. They have a job, so they have more money than you get from your allowance. They spent $50 on a flimsy gold chain that they FINALLY got out of layaway, but they also bought a nice medallion that chicks flock to and want to look at and touch, while you have enough money to buy that same chain right now in your pocket, but there’s nothing for chicks to SEE, so you lose. They have the slow jam tape on them and you don’t. They took a virtual BATH in Egyptian Musk and you didn’t……

Protect The Leader

What you figure out eventually is that you’re walking into the war without your vest and without your gun.

I’ve never been in an actual war and I’m not going to be.. I’ve been in innumerable wars via FPS video gaming.

I remember being in a HALO game with my crew after we acquired a female player we call “Angel”. We were playing team deathmatch, and as the squad leader, I’m in charge of figuring out how we’re doing and determining our strategy second to second.

So every time I hit the button to check the individual and team scores, Angel’s K/D (kill-to-death ratio) is going UP while the rest of ours are going DOWN and the game is pretty much even. I’m not a shooter, I’m a strategist and I tell other people who to shoot, so I wasn’t going to be a factor in putting us in the lead for good.

The simple fact the numbers were telling me was that when Angel was UP, our team was advancing, and when Angel was DOWN, the other team was advancing. The executive decision I made as soon as I figured this out was that *EVERYBODY*s job for the rest of the game was to make sure that ANGEL stayed alive.

Anybody you see shooting at Angel, CAP him. If she’s in a firefight, shoot the guy she’s shooting. If there’s a powerup or ammo for her weapons, leave that for her. If you’re getting shot while you’re helping Angel, too bad for you.. You’re SOL (**** out of luck). You don’t turn around and shoot that person. You stay on your assignment, and when that dude drops you, he’s going to have to reload and Angel’s going to get our kill back.

Fortunately, the rest of our teammates believed in my time-proven ability to strategize and sacrificed themselves, as did I, to keep Angel Blazin’, and we ended up crushing the other team decisively.

This is the same way raps need to be handled. Whomever is being EFFECTIVE, RIGHT NOW is the one the team has to rally behind to facilitate his efficiency. If he’s rapping to the girl you wanted?… You have to eat that. Maybe you get the best chick next time. All you do by fighting over or rapping to the same chick is make your entire crew look like Busters and then none of y’all deserves the rap! :D

Meanwhile, whomever has the favor of the crowd has to not be selfish. Recognize that you’re able to do what you’re doing right now because other guys are warding off cockblockers and sacrificing their own desires so you can rap to a chick they want for themselves. It’s YOUR JOB to put in a good word for your boys and facilitate THEIR raps to the extra chicks instead of riding your current success to glory in Valhalla.

There’s No “I” In TEAM!

So.. To answer C Jay’s question, the leader in a situation where two guys head out to pick up chicks is dynamic, not static.

Optimally, BOTH GUYS have an equal grasp of the game and either guy is likely to get a rap at any point of the night.

When that’s the case, it becomes a flow, like hockey players on a 2 vs. 1 break. It’s not important that one particular guy scores. It’s important that THE TEAM goes ahead by one goal.

If the team goes +1, there’s a good chance that EVERYONE will end up with the “W”. If the guys on the break are selfish, they might screw up their advantage, nobody scores, and the team isn’t any better off.

This is one of the reasons why Wingman Selection is so important. You have to actually be HAPPY if your boy gets on and you go home with nothing or waste hours distracting her homegirl from blocking your boy’s action. Dudes that don’t have this kind of rapport with each other start getting sour and sabotaging raps and making the whole crew look like clowns.

Bada Bing, Bada Boom

So, assuming you have equal dudes working together, the leader is the one that has the best idea for how one or both of them are going to get on tonight. You saw this in “Jersey Shore” when Mike & Pauly were standing out in the street deciding whether to invite the chick and the grenade home to hop in the hot tub. Mike has a line on the girl he wants to hook up with. That chick comes with an extra chick that needs to be distracted, which is going to be Pauly’s job.

Pauly says to him “We don’t have anything better, right?”. This means that they’ve kicked all the game they’re willing to kick for the evening and it’s time to disappear with some chicks. If Pauly had pulled a chick that HE wanted to bring back, he would have said so right there. Since he hadn’t, he was willing to facilitate Mike’s rap and help him try to score.

At that point in the game, the leader was Mike, because he had a direct connection to a girl he was trying to hook up with. Best-Case Scenario for the evening was Mike +1, Pauly +0 = Team +1. Once they got home, Mike dropped the ball and didn’t isolate his chick fast enough before Pauly got tired/bored/annoyed with covering for him and bailed. We don’t know what happened, because that’s an edited show, but Pauly SHOULD have told Mike to hurry the **** up and make it happen.

At that point, as C Jay is suggesting, the wing is actually the leader, however, I suggest that he took over because he had a better grasp of the situation, which was that Mike wasn’t pulling the trigger and something good needed to happen QUICKLY, or else.

Unfortunately, I really doubt this is the case in most situations. I think most of the time, either one or both guys don’t know the first thing about what they’re doing with chicks and it’s a Keystone Cops / pot luck scenario, thus the term “Getting Lucky”, because guys have no idea how they got laid. \o/

Experience > Current Advantage

When you have one guy that knows what he’s doing and one guy that doesn’t, there is NO. CHANGE. IN. LEADERSHIP. The other guy’s not qualified to make any decisions.

Regardless of who’s working on someone at the time, the ‘lesser’ dude doesn’t suddenly have wisdom bestowed upon him because he happens to currently enjoy the best chance of getting on.

I found this out the hard way in a couple of scenarios. In one of them, 4 or 5 of us rolled up on several chicks and I was talking to a pretty nice-looking girl until to my chagrin, the Top Dog broke from the girl he was rapping to and rolled up on my conversation, rendering me immediately invisible. :D hahaha OH. MAN!.. I. Was. Mad. As. A. ****!!! :D

The other situation was that I was talking to this chick first but didn’t kick the proper game. I wasn’t “Street” enough for her tastes, so eventually, this SCRUM (lowlife) came over that was part of my crew and started talking to her and she fell for it immediately.

This dude probably LITERALLY had DUST in his pockets, was dumb as a box of rocks and at the time had no earning potential whatsoever… BUT… he was wearing trendy clothes and had an earring and sounded like he was from the ghetto, which he was, and the chick immediately went out like a sucker.

I think I even TOLD HER THAT DAY that my homeboy wasn’t about JACK (not to try to cockblock him, but because I could see her future from the way she was blindly jocking him so hard), but she didn’t want to hear it. She was too busy sweating him. A few months later, I run into her in the street and she’s all crying and distraught because she’s pregnant by him and he threw her number in the trash. C’est La Vie. \o/

The point being that I didn’t come to the table with the “Toolry & the Jewelry” to turn these chicks’ heads, so I didn’t have any say in the raps whatsoever. My effect on the situation was minimal, so my choice in the matter was to follow the leaders and depend on the trickle-down unless the leaders decided to swoop in and bag that up as well. :D

Critical Recon & Intel

The *ONLY* time the lesser dude has any juice is when he’s privy to exclusive and important information that changes the game.

Sometimes, even though you’re not even trying, a chick is just sweating you for some unknown reason. She likes how you look… She likes that you’re not pressing up on every chick in the place… She likes that you sound educated… You’re at the beach, so she can tell you’re in FANTASTIC SHAPE compared to your more-suave homeboys… You actually listen to her and talk to her instead of nodding at her until you can get laid….. Whatever it is, there are some circumstances where the lesser dude has a chick locked down, and that’s when HE becomes the most important guy in the crew.

He’s still not the SMARTEST when it comes to this, so it’s in his best interest to pull the Top Dog to the side and explain the situation so the tactics can be determined. The fact remains that he’s currently THE MAN, so the team’s goal is to make sure he’s as successful as possible and everyone else gets whatever they can salvage from the evening.

Another common intel situation is that chicks are often too scared to kick it to the Top Dogs. For the same reasons that guys find it insanely easy to talk to girls they’re not attracted to, some chicks will approach lower-level dudes and TELL THEM DIRECTLY that they’re interested in the guy they’re scared to talk to. This is your opportunity to not be a ******* HATER and share the wealth. If you see that your boy’s wasting time trying to kick it to a different chick when this one’s already down with the program (assuming of course that they’re interchangeable, looks-wise), find a way to interrupt your boy and let him know what time it is. If he’s happy with his current chick, he might send you back to get her number for future reference. If he’s tired of putting in work and wants to get down to the nitty gritty, he’ll probably pass this chick off to you and go talk to the “Sure Thing”.

Do NOT let your feelings of jealousy cause you to sit on intel. Sometimes, it’s just not your day. Sometimes, your boy gets all the raps and you have to be cool with that or you’re in the wrong business. Go solo if you hate seeing your friends enjoy themselves.

Of course, conflict can occur when both guys happen to get on simultaneously with different sets of chicks, haha in which case, they’ll have to agree to split up and handle each group separately or one guy needs to get contact information and close out so he can assist his boy with the other set.

Dynamic Allocation

So we wind up back at the short answer. The Leader is determined dynamically, based on the situation and the guy’s respective skillz when it comes to pulling chicks. Both guys have to know each other’s styles and both have to respect each other’s games to the degree that they’re willing to take one for the team this time, knowing that their boy’s going to do the same for them when THEY’RE in an advantageous position. Without that inherent trust & camaraderie, the whole thing falls apart and it’s every man for himself.

I’d also like to add that the game starts before you leave the house. You need to walk out the door envisioning how the night’s going to go for you AND your boys. You have to understand your friends’ strengths and weaknesses so you can see the playing field properly when the evening’s chicks show up and it’s time to make it happen. You have to understand where you’re going and which wingmen are going to be effective in that particular environment.

Related Posts

• Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]
• Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]
• Video Games & Dating, Part 01
• How to *NOT* be a creep
• Games Without Frontiers (NYC Mercs)

The way the dating game works, guys have to be the aggressors and girls choose from the suitors who present themselves. There are several reasons for this, including women attempting to avoid the stigma of being considered hoes for stepping up front and telling a guy what they really want to do with him. Another reason is that gals tend to be more relationship-based, while guys are more get-laid-based.

What this creates is an uneven playing field where guys are always playing offense and girls are always playing defense. I had a rare opportunity, recently, to watch a creep operate… Let me back up a bit…

What/Who is a Creep?

A creep isn’t defined by tactics. A creep is defined by whether a chick wants to kick it to him or not. If a girl likes you, you can say just about anything you want to her, and she’ll go for it. She wants you to want her. She’s excited that she excites you. You can literally walk up to a chick and say “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain” and she’ll make out with you, because that’s what she’s been daydreaming about this whole time since she first saw you…. kissing you, not you saying some corny, meaningless line.

So, a creep is a guy that a chick DOESN’T want to talk to her, but insists on talking to her anyway. He could be the most polite, well read, gentlemanly blah blah blah but if she’s not interested, he’s a nuisance that she needs to get rid of ASAP. Not only is he annoying, but he’s taking up space where a guy that she REALLY wants to meet could be standing and she could be enjoying herself.

So I had been about to say “I recently got to see a creep operate”, but that’s not actually true. I’ve seen creeps operate lots of times, except they’ve been friends of mine, so I’ve been hoping that they get on. Sometimes, the creep was ME! :D What I should have said was that I had the rare opportunity to watch some creep I don’t know operate, and because of that, I can now write up my favorite tips on how to *NOT* be a creep:

Don’t interrupt people’s conversations

If you want to be seen as a creep off the bat, jump into someone’s conversation as if they invited you. I know you have your agenda and you want to kick it ASAP before someone else pulls her, but rolling up uninvited sets off the first alarm that you don’t know how to respect people’s wishes. If nobody was paying attention to you and then you appear like “TA-DAAAA!”, you’re immediately a nuisance and have just dug your rap into a hole that you’re going to have to waste your time digging yourself out of. Instead of starting at ZERO, you start at negative-whatever, because you couldn’t find a decent way to join the group.

If a chick is by herself, that’s a different story. You STILL need to enquire as far as whether she’d like for you to hang out with her or not. Don’t just roll up on a chick that’s standing there with nothing to do and assume that listening to your sap rap is BETTER for her to do than doing nothing at all.

If you ask her and she wants you to leave, sure, keep trying, but if you can’t turn her quickly, break north before she informs the rest of her girlfriends in the area that you’re a creep, jacking up other opportunities you might have had if you had played it cool.

Don’t invade people’s space

Different countries have different distances at which people stand when they engage each other. It’s in your best interest to be outside of any uncomfortable range that she might have. It’s better to appear socially standoffish than annoyingly aggressive or overbearing.

This is one of the reasons you want to avoid places where the music is too loud. You want to be able to hear and be heard without standing “on top” of the chick. Whatever advances you’re making with your verbal game are being negated by her feeling uncomfortable about the fact that you’re standing so close to her.

If you gain/build rapport with her, fine.. move in closer. Other than that, keep your distance so she’s not contemplating cracking you in your grill with that beer bottle in her hand if you make any sudden moves. Your goal is to make her feel comfortable with you, not WARY.

Don’t be a blithering idiot (don’t slur your speech)

This is a tough one, because who actually KNOWS when they’re drunk and slurring? Basically, do your best NOT to seem like an out-of-control drunk when you kick your game. Again, this adds to her paranoia and blocks her from feeling comfortable around you. As corny as you were from butting into her conversation in the first place and invading her space in the second, you REALLY don’t want her to feel that you might do some weirdo ish just because you’ve had too much to drink already tonight and you can’t be trusted.

Make up your mind what you’re going to do tonight. Either get drunk and whoop it up or just get ‘buzzed’ or ‘tipsy’ and keep your rap game intact. Your goal is either to Get Nice or Get On… Choose ONE!

Don’t touch people

I’ve seen this for years, but never really thought much about it. Unless you have a well thought-out plan, Do NOT Touch People that haven’t invited you to touch them or that you haven’t built a level of rapport with where you FEEL like they might be cool with you touching them.

It’s a basic club tactic for guys to see a girl going by that they want to screw and grab her arm as she walks through a crowd. On the one hand, this makes sense, because clubs are dark AND loud and there’s no other way to get her attention. This style also seems to make sense because there are a lot of girls that go for this. A lot of girls will actually stop and talk to the guy that just grabbed them because they enjoy the attention. They enjoy that he wanted them so much that he just “Couldn’t let her walk by” without saying something to them.

The fact of the matter is that it’s an invasion of privacy and an indicator that his behavior is going to be much more aggressive when he finally gets her alone somewhere. If that’s the image you want to project to chicks, go right ahead and keep grabbing them. You’re either amplifying or destroying your rap. They’re either going to love it or hate it, and in most cases, you’re making more work for yourself than you need to. Stop touching people. If you NEED to meet her, follow her to wherever she’s going, catch her eye and then introduce yourself.

If you insist on continuing with this behavior, at least make sure you grab the arm where she has the beer bottle in her hand so you’re less likely to need stitches later this evening.

Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to answer yourself

I know it’s a regular tactic to fake it as if you want to talk to chicks by talking to them. If you had it like that, you would have walked up to her, said “Let’s get out of here” and she would have left with you and you would have done what you wanted with her. Since you DON’T have it like that, don’t play yourself by asking personal questions.

Why in the hell would a chick that you just met by rolling up uninvited and invading her space feel like telling you where she lives? How old she is? What she ate for dinner? Whether she has a boyfriend? Does that make sense to you?

Leave that stuff out. Everybody knows you’re trying to make smalltalk. Everybody knows you’re biding your time until you can figure out how to get laid. Don’t bother trying to mask it with social banter. If you insist on doing this, keep it impersonal. “How do you like this place?”, “Have you checked out XYZ bar?”, “How do you like the music?”

If you ask personal questions, they’re going to backfire on you when she asks YOU what you just asked HER. How old are YOU? Where do YOU live? See that? All of a sudden, YOU’RE on the defensive and responding in vague and deceptive manners which unearth your true intentions anyway. So do yourself a favor and don’t ask any questions you wouldn’t want to answer yourself.

Do remember what people said

Also, if you INSIST on talking to chicks as a way to stay in the game until you can get laid, try to REMEMBER what they said. If you ask a chick where she’s from and she says she’s from Indiana and moved to NYC three years ago, don’t turn around 5 minutes later and go “So… How long have you lived here?” .. See, you look like a clown, or an idiot, or like you really are, which is that you don’t give a damn what she’s saying and you’re only running your mouth until you can get her alone and get to the nitty-gritty… Which leads us to our final tip:

Don’t be transparent

In the Social Media world, the term “transparency” has become synonymous with positive behavior. It’s basically being up-front with your company’s beliefs, policies, influences and motives. This doesn’t work in the dating world, because your entire plan is to be deceptive and work your way to your desired outcome.

Therefore, being transparent belies everything you’ve been trying to do. Don’t make conversation and then have it be obvious that you’re not interested in what she has to say. Don’t say you’re not trying to have sex with her and then do your best to see what you can get. Don’t cross the entire room to ask her if she has the time when you just walked past several people with watches. Stick to your plan and ride it out to the end.

If you don’t feel like you can do that, then don’t bother playing games at all. Step to her, let her know what you want and then either get it or don’t get it. Otherwise, she’s going to know that you’re going to say ANYTHING you have to to get her to do what you want and your credibility and rapport are going right down the drain.

You’re really better off just going for it, because at least you can get the respect of not having tried to cheat her into sex. You can also get the respect of not having wasted her time, trying for like 30 minutes to talk her into something she didn’t want to do for you in the first place. She’ll also appreciate your not blocking her ops with other guys that she might ACTUALLY want to talk to or mess with. Who knows? You might get lucky and she might approach YOU later in the evening, being that you were the only guy that didn’t try to run game, was up front with what he wanted and wasn’t overbearing or a JERK when she wasn’t interested.

You might also luck out and she might send you a girlfriend of hers that didn’t get any raps tonight and actually likes how you look. Regardless… It’s in YOUR best interest to NOT come off as a CREEP if you want to maximize your efficiency with chicks. Believe me… It gets around faster that you think. :)

~Bill

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I’ve always loved the song “Games Without Frontiers” by Peter Gabriel. For me, the song has an incredible mix of depression and hope. There’s power and powerlessness in the face of “the game” at the same time. I never get a feeling that one person is going to “win out” over the next person. I never get the feeling that the situation will ever stabilize. To me, it’s a representation of ‘the game’ and how each person comes to the table with their own set of abilities and shortcomings and the chips fall where they may…….

*In researching, I find that there were some offensive/controversial lyrics that were changed to make the song radio-friendly.*

Mercs

I woke up this morning thinking about this song, because for me, it exemplifies the mercenary nature of dating in New York City.

We’re all ‘Mercs’. We have to be, because people throw pretty heavy ‘game’ at us, and if you’re not a shark yourself, you’ll get eaten by the sharks. It’s just plainly not as simple as people lay it out in these fairy tale relationship stories where some guy in the sticks marries his high school sweetheart or the girl he met when he went to the General Store to buy cereal and gasoline at the same location.

The ‘problem’ is that we all want something, and we’re willing to play hardball to get it. It’s honestly like a war-time scenario. I’m not proud of that or happy about it, but that’s how it is. You just have to know that when you step to a chick and introduce yourself, you’re about to get whatever she wants to give you that will further her own agenda. It’s not “the truth”. It’s not “who she really is”. It’s what she’s willing to present to you in order to get you to do what she wants you to do.

Women have to be that way, because men are that way towards them. Obviously, guys are going to say or do whatever they need to in order to get laid, which is the bottom line. All this jockeying for position is a constant quest for CONTROL of the other person, usually for two different reasons…

Control

Control is a fallacy… a fantasy… it doesn’t exist. The only person you control is yourself…… maybe.

Nevertheless, many people in relationships are fighting their “significant other” for control. Not physically fighting them, like Chris Brown & Rihanna, but mentally & emotionally waging war against each other with the hopes of breaking the other person’s will and subjugating them (Putting them in “Deep Check”).

In general, the goals of control are pretty common and redundant. The male wants to lock down sexual access to the female. The female wants to lock down “fidelity” or faithfulness from the male. This would seem to be the same thing, but it isn’t. The guy wants to make sure he can get on whenever he feels like it, therefore, he needs to block other guys from physical access to “his girl”. Women (again, in general) are more concerned with where the guy’s emotions are focused… Does he “love” her? Is she the most important woman in his life? (or, hopefully, the ONLY woman in his life) What are his future plans for the relationship? blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…..

Tactics

Now that you know what you want, it’s time to utilize tactics to get it. The woman’s goal is to make the guy feel she can live without him and force him to step up his game. The man’s goal is to make the gal believe he’s all about her, regardless of what he’s actually doing. What you end up with is lies. Regular lies and lies of omission. These are necessary, because otherwise, you arrive on the battlefield without your armor and lose immediately.

Unfortunately, what you DON’T have in this oft-repeated scenario is genuine and authentic interaction between people that are SUPPOSED to be in a friendly relationship. After a while, you get used to this and no longer expect people to be authentic with you. It’s no longer a requirement. You assume people are lying off the bat and learn to read between the lies.

This is fine for guys, because for the most part, we don’t care what women are saying anyway. Yak Yak Yak, it’s all the same as long as you’re looking good and we feel turned on by your presence.

Women have a much greater problem here, which is that they actually base their relationship status on what guys say to them. For guys, it’s basically “Who cares what she said, so long as at the end of the day, she gives it up?”. Meanwhile, all a guy has to say to a gal is “it’s over”, and she’ll honestly believe that her relationship to him is finished, just because he said so.

Effects

The effect is that we accept people on the surface, but never get deeply inside them. There’s no reason to expect people to be authentic with you upon first meeting you, so you listen to what they have to say, but don’t necessarily accept it as truth. Since we figure we’re all lying to each other, it’s an unspoken agreement that everyone’s going to check their weapons at the door. We can chat each other up and be friendly for the time being, but we all know that if we fall out of favor with each other, it’s “Get your gats and shoot it out at twenty paces”. If the chick is found to be messing with another dude… war. If the guy is found even TRYING to kick it with another chick… war.

Embargoes, no sex, no calls, no text messages, delayed returning of calls, avoidance of spending physical time together, putting each other’s business in the streets, commiseration with homies, arguments, vindictive looks, creation of jealousy… This is what you have to look forward to if you fall out of favor with someone that you’re supposedly in a “loving” relationship with.

Reactions

There are a few typical reactions to the NYC game. Some people quit the scene entirely, since they don’t want to be involved with mind-games. Some people elect to remain naive and go out like a sucker over and over in their dating careers. Other people become jaded and get down with the program, adding to the pool of sharks. The best defense is a good offense, and they’re ready, willing and able to fight fire with fire.

Ultimately, if you’re in demand in NYC, there’s no escaping ‘the game’. If people perceive you has having something they want, they’re going to come after you… There’s a domino effect here of people passing experiences and personal baggage on to other people. Of course, the media adds fuel to the fire by seeking out the worst relationship scenarios possible and putting them on the news every night. “Reality” shows (which are EXTREMELY edited and produced, thus not actually ‘reality’) do the same thing as they strive to show us the most entertaining (read: assholish) aspects of human beings’ personalities. Add that to the sheer number of people on the scene in this town, and you end up with a cycle of people who don’t actually trust each other, but are perfectly willing to call each other boyfriend & girlfriend in order to advance their own agendas.

Solutions

Strangely enough, the solution is to “Do you”. Whatever’s natural to you, that’s what you should focus on. Receive the education from the NYC game and utilize it to get tough without becoming jaded. Don’t get upset about what happens, just internalize it and learn from it and make sure you don’t go out the same way next time.

You also have the option of hopping on the Metro North Railroad and traveling out to the sticks to meet people who are still living the simple life and aren’t caught up in mercenary dating behavior.

Maybe you could start a meetup group where people practice honestly telling other people how they feel about them.

It would seem like the obvious solution is to only become involved with trustworthy people. Unfortunately, most people’s ability to judge character is WAY less refined than the snake oil salesperson’s ability to pull the wool over your eyes. It’s your own arrogance in believing that you have a proper grasp on what the other person’s capable of that blinds you and makes you even MORE susceptible to their manipulations.

This is what’s simultaneously depressing and hopeful about both the song and the dating scene. There’s a collection of powerful people involved, and it’s a game, which is fun… but it’s also a competition. Everyone’s playing, but they’re not all on the same side. One change at one end of the playing field can cause a chain reaction that someone feels far away on the other end of the field. While there’s the likelihood that several people will win, and win big… that’s probably going to mean that several people have to lose big as a consequence. The NYC dating scene is not for the faint of heart. It’s a gamble… It’s a knockout…

if looks could kill, they probably will
in Games Without Frontiers
war without tears

~Bill

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Continued from Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 01]

Reader Steve asked for a tactics post in the DatingGenius Suggestion Box, so I thought I’d critique the Top 10 Rules.

4) In an office romance, do not email him back every time he emails you unless it is business related

On all non-business e-mails, responding once for every four of his e-mails is a good rule of thumb. Remember, you never know who has access to your e-mail, so keep all romance off the screen and save it for Saturday nights.

This is good advice if you’re using a company account. Other than that, this makes no sense AT. ALL. :D

I realize that “The Rules” was printed in 1995, so it makes sense for The Flintstones & Andy Griffith to have taken this advice, but in 2009, we not only have FREE personal email accounts, but we have hand-held computers to which we can route all of our correspondence. Assuming you don’t leave your g1, iPhone or Blackberry in the lunchroom, you’re golden.

As far as the actual “respond once to every four of his emails”, that’s easily countered by flooding her with emails. a-DUH!… Just write her four times as much as you want her to respond. *yawn*

Instead of writing “Hey. How’s it going? How was your day? Did you pick up that outfit you told me about? Can’t wait to see you Friday night!!! :D”, you write:

You: “Hey. How’s it going?”
Her: “……………”
You: “How was your day?”
Her: “……………”
You: “Did you pick up that outfit you told me about?”
Her: “……………”
You: “Can’t wait to see you Friday night!!! :D ”
Her: “Me Neither! :D ”

See that? Make every fourth email the important one and send her fluff in between. Simple. *yawn*

On top of that, you’re gonna look pretty stupid sitting across from him at a co-working location while he’s emailing you and you’re not responding to him. :) What’reya gonna do when he actually speaks to you? Ignore every three sentences of his so you supposedly look aloof and in demand? :D

hahaha Speaking of “in demand”, here’s a bonus tip for y’all ladies who like to date guys you work with. Do NOT sit by yourself in the park eating your lunch every day. He knows where you sit. He always checks there.. and you’re always there. Start going to the gym at lunchtime if you honestly don’t have anything to do. That way he can at least fantasize that you’re out on a date with a better man and you can get some CUAO points.

5) If you are in a long distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him

Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates… and on the first three dates we don’t have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.

ok… At first, I thought this rule was really dumb and useless. It doesn’t matter who visits WHOM if the guy’s goal is to get on. It could happen in a box. It could happen with a fox. It could happen with Green Eggs & Ham for all I care.

To make this even MORE useless, all you have to do is stack your visits (see email solution, above) so you get your first three “dates” out of the way, in like, a week, and then you can get down to the nitty gritty, because you’ve jumped through the hoop and passed her test and now she feels good about herself giving up the grand prize.

This is where Flo jumped in with the critical fine-print information that “Rules Girls” aren’t supposed to accept more than one date in a week. I’m willing to take her word for that, so that DOES change the game somewhat.

That means that the long-distance guy has to make THREE SEPARATE TRIPS hahahaha to see this chick. He has to spend 3x the money on travel and housing (since a grown-ass-woman has been disallowed from having a grown-ass-man stay at her house, lest she give it up like she really wants to and spoil the whole CUAO facade).

That also means that the guy has to wait at least four weeks to get on. That’s not a problem for LDRs, because they’ll never run into you while you’re out on the town with your local ladies.

Live it up until date 4 rolls around. At that point, ease back off the chicks for a minute so when you FINALLY hook up with her, it seems like you’ve been waiting this whole time for her to get with the program. :D

6) When considering whether to use personal ads or other dating services, your should place the ad and let men respond to you

It goes back to the basic premise of The Rules: Man pursues woman. When writing your ad, remember that every man has a type, a voice or a look he likes. There has to be a spark for him that attracts him to you, something that makes him find you unexplainably special.

Spot-on advice. :D

Ladies… When it comes to online dating, put your pictures on the account, write a couple of things about yourself and eeeeeeease back! haha There’s no reason for you to TRY to get dates. Just like in real life, your presentation speaks for itself, and guys are going to feel the pressure to step to you before the next man scoops you up.

Having said that, unless you’re physically unattractive, make sure you include BODY shots in your pictures. Those “cropped so close you can only see my eyes and a little bit of hair” pictures make you look like that witch on Bugs Bunny that sneaks up rubbing her hands together, going “Drink It! Drink It!”

You’re creepy. It’s like you’re tryinn’a sneak up on a brotha like “SURPRISE!!!… I’M BUSTED!!!” :D

Cut it out. Make sure you give SOME indication of what kind of physical shape you’re in, besides selecting the checkbox for “Curvy” or “More of me to love”.

If you happen to actually be in shape, you’d better throw that “I want him to want me for my mind” garbage OUT and “Use what you got…. to get what you want!” :D

You can also help your CUAO-ness out by NOT making the same statements all the other women make on dating sites. Think up UNIQUE and INTERESTING things about yourself and write about that. If you don’t know what I mean, browse some of your competition’s pages to find the common statements.

For guys who peruse dating sites and actually read the words, it gets pretty *yawn* to keep seeing “I’m down to Earth” and “I’m not crazy”. It’s like going on JDate and reading that a gal is Jewish. Follow the ladies’ advice and create “a spark for him that attracts him to you, something that makes him find you unexplainably special”.

~Bill

Related Post(s): Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 01] | Analyzing “The Rules” [Part 03]

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