Bill Cammack » take advantage

Cougars vs. MILFs

Bill Cammack — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 19:33:36 +0000

What is a Cougar? How come this dating term only applies to females and not to males who exhibit the same behaviors?

Definition

According to Wikipedia, a Cougar is “a woman, 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger men, typically more than eight years her junior. The term is also commonly applied to women that are thirty or older.”

This is clearly a corny & simpe viewpoint. Urban Dictionary has some more definitions for us:

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or MILF. Cougars are gaining in popularity — particularly the true hotties — as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her **** together.
(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the “hunt” for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. “Man is cougar’s number one prey”
An attractive woman in her 30′s or 40′s who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with MILFs.
A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted. A cougar’s victims are usually under 25, as cougars prefer to mate with men who still have hair. Cougars generally feed and then continue hunting, as they enjoy role reversal.
A Cougar is a female, usually between thirty and fifty years-old, who enjoys the sexual company of younger men. Cougars are only usually interested in men under the age of twenty-five. Also, Cougars are non-committal, choosing to move from mate to mate without ever settling down. It is not uncommon for the same Cougar to attack (sleep with) many different men in the same group of friends. Furthermore, Cougars are older and more practiced in the ways of snaring a mate so they will rarely broadcast their intentions to sleep with you until you are already in her Jetta, headed for the condo she just bought. It is this elusive behavior that earns her the name “Cougar.”
Hot and sexy older woman, usually in her 40s or 50s, single or married, who is sick of her same-age counterparts which are usually hairless, have big guts, who only talk about their insurance premiums and have the TV remote control attached to their hands. Cougars are attractive, in their sexual prime, who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it. BIG misconception is that they dress cheap, wear hot pink nail polish, animal skin prints and are not-so-attractive old-looking hags with bleached hair (Yeah those women exist, but they are NOT cougars). True cougars are classy, beautiful creatures who have made their successes on their own, have real brains, usually with expensive cars/homes, and are real head turners. Cougars seek younger men, and don’t have to sneak up and attack…they know their younger mates are eager to get an experienced woman who won’t ask if they’ll call them the next day. Being a cougar is a positive thing.

Did you notice how this is like a crime scene where everyone has a different description of the perp? :D

She was 35.. No.. She was 50…
She was rich.. No.. She was broke…
She looked busted.. No.. She looked HAWT!!! :D

For the purpose of this discussion, I’m going to define a Cougar as a female that’s older than the male she’s kickin’ it to who has uncommon advantages over that male that she’s not “supposed” to have.

We need to keep the “older than” component, or the concept isn’t any fun. If you get served by a chick your age or younger, she was just smarter than you and your life sucks.

I’m willing to toss the “how much money she has” component and the “whether she looks good or not” component as those aren’t going to be primary issues during the locker-room talk debriefing the next day with his boys. As soon as he mentions that he hooked up with an older chick, the conversation could potentially stall there indefinitely as he attempts to explain why and save face in front of his friends who are dying to call him “desperate”.

The age component needs to be dropped lower because those mid-western grade-school teachers that keep getting busted for being in love with their 14-year-old (happy as HELL to get laid!!! :D) students already qualify as Cougars in their late 20′s.

So we need for the Cougar to be older, except we also need for her to have uncommon advantages in the relationship. Otherwise, she qualifies as a MILF, which is a similar, yet completely different fetish category.

MILFs

The acronym MILF stands for Mother I’d Like to ****. It’s a technically incorrect term because nobody cares whether the older chick has kids or not. The concept is more that she’s old enough to have kids or maybe that the way she looks, you would say “She’s old enough to be my mother” even though she might only be 5 years older than you are.

MILFs don’t have any advantages in relationships.

They’re just like regular females except they were born before you were. You don’t need to apply any special tactics for them. Actually, you can do even less as you imagine them to be relatively desperate and hungry for some male action.

MILFs are a fetish category because they’re not supposed to still be in The Game. They’re supposed to have had all the sex they’re going to have in their lives and now, their function is being somebody’s mother or a secretary or something.

The problem with this theory is that women supposedly peak sexually in their 30′s, so even though their looks might be way past their prime, they’re way more DTF (Down To ****) than younger girls who are still playing stupid games and frontin’ like they don’t want to hook up with you when you know that they’re dying to give you some.

So, a MILF is an older woman that you’re not supposed to be able to have sex with, but somehow you do.. Like, you go to some chick’s house to take her out to the club and she got stuck at the library studying so her mother invites you wait for her inside and you happen to hook up with the moms, probably including all sorts of stuff that her daughter wouldn’t have done for you anyway.

Or.. Maybe you decide to do your laundry late at night and this older gal is the only one in the laundromat and one thing leads to another…

These qualify as MILF encounters… Regular stuff, except it just so happens that the gal’s older than you are.

Cougars

A cougar, OTOH, is making moves from her own personal power. You have to imagine a Stella trying to get her Groove Back.

The Cougar knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. There’s an empty space she’s trying to fill… She’s looking to add an element to her already HAPPENIN’ lifestyle.

Unfortunately.. Unless you know how to tell the difference, a Cougar looks just like a MILF and you might could get caught slippin’. :D

It might be a part of her game plan to play that submissive “Oh.. I do declare!.. I think this whippersnapper’s trying to have sex with me! :O” role because she doesn’t want to scare you off by saying “Let’s get out of here” or asking you to accompany her to the bathroom of the bar and then locking both of y’all inside.

The trick to the Cougar is that “She don’t need you.. She’ll let the welfare feed you.”.. The tricks that usually work on women will actually leave you in a worse position than if you hadn’t tried to use them.

Declarations of love and promises of long-term relationships don’t have the pantie-dropping effect they’re supposed to. She’s not looking for Mr. Right.. She’s looking for Mr. Right Now. >:D

It’s also easy to miss it entirely when a Cougar propositions you because the way some of them press up is so subtle and slick. For instance, they might use the typical guy’s trick of feigning interest in your business so you have to.. what?.. Give her your business card.

After that, you need to talka about the business, right?.. Which is usually best discussed over what?.. Dinner. O_o

Of course, you need to meet at the restaurant’s bar before dinner, which leads to what?.. Drinks…

Next thing you know, you’ve gone on a full-fledged DATE with her and you can’t even accuse her of having asked you out! :D

So What?

What difference does any of this make? How come we need a special term for this behavior?

Cougars do what they want to do when they want to do it. If this attitude somehow permeated the female population, it would be a complete disaster for guys trying to get laid.

Sometimes, the only leverage you have is that she wants you to spend money on her or take her dancing or buy her a house.. The only carrot you have to dangle in front of her face is how much better her life will be if she hooks up with you. Take that away, and women would only give it up to guys they actually thought were sexy, and society as we know it goes down the tubes. :D

Once you label the behavior, you can convince people that it’s a deviant lifestyle and eventually even prescribe medication for it. mo money, Mo Money, MO MONEY!!! :D

More importantly, you can utilize the new distinction to brainwash girls that this is not who they want to be when they grow up.. A free-thinking, financially independent woman enjoying her life without being subservient to a man (unless that’s how she gets her kicks..) and getting involved with sex & relationships on her own terms.

It’s kind of like how they try to blackmail guys into selecting a girlfriend by telling us “You don’t want to end up as that old-ass man at the bar, do you?”

Speaking of which…

Male Cougars?

There is no similar term that means male that’s older than the female he’s kickin’ it to who has uncommon advantages over that female that he’s not “supposed” to have.

Guys are SUPPOSED to have lots of advantages over the women they’re dating. That’s the whole point of the mating ritual. She’s trying to make a come-up by latching onto a guy that’s better than her, taller than her, stronger than her, richer than her, with a better career than she has, owns more property than her, has better genes than her family does, etc etc etc.

The phrase women like to use is “I can do poorly all by myself!”

There’s no point in a woman latching onto a man who’s a lesser human being than she is unless she’s one of those people that enjoys telling people what to do. If that’s her idea of a fun relationship, then more power to her.

So there IS no Cougar-type term for guys because we date women as young as we like, so long as they’re legal in that particular state.

Will you ever see Hugh Hefner cold lampin’ with chicks his age? NOPE!.. He likes young chicks and can afford as many of them as he likes. There’s no term for that, except perhaps “The American Dream”. >:D

According to society’s standards, guys are SUPPOSED to be older than the gals they date. They’re supposed to be taller and smarter and richer… It’s not enough of an issue to warrant a particular label, just like women getting laid *WELL* isn’t enough of an issue to warrant the creation of brothels where women can go to Get Their Groove Back right quick and then get on with their business like men all over the world do every single day of life.

According to a recent Time/CNN article, the Cougar craze is a myth… What do YOU think? O_o

Don’t Sleep on the Casting Couch

Bill Cammack — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:13:48 +0000

The casting couch is a euphemism for a sociological phenomenon that involves the trading of sexual favors by an aspirant, apprentice employee, or subordinate to a superior, in return for entry into an occupation, or for other career advancement within an organization. The term “casting couch” originated in the motion picture industry, with specific reference to couches in the offices of casting agents that could be used for sexual activity between the agents and aspiring actresses. But it is now often used in reference to other industries besides entertainment.

Careers which are highly desirable and traditionally difficult to break into, such as the movie, television and music industries, have been the subject of casting couch stories in popular culture. Such trading of favors is an abuse of power, and can become a wider sex scandal if deemed newsworthy.

~Wikipedia

I am EXTREMELY TIRED of hearing from women about what’s supposed to be as opposed to what actually IS. Tired.

Maybe life SHOULD be fair… except it ISN’T. Attractive people get more stuff. Unattractive people get less stuff, unless they work insanely harder than attractive people to make up for the difference. Taller guys get women easier than shorter guys. Shapely women get guys easier than obese women. Rich people get better lawyers than poor people. Guilty rich people skate on charges while innocent poor people get convicted because their lawyers weren’t good enough to properly process the evidence and they couldn’t afford to call in expert witnesses. Women with kids don’t get to do what single women do. Deadbeat dads get their drivers’ licences revoked. Guys’ girls cheat on them and women’s men dump them after being engaged to them for three years…. LIFE. ISN’T. FAIR!

So, I don’t wanna hear it anymore about “Men don’t have to X” or “A man wouldn’t be asked to Y” when that has NOTHING to do with YOUR. LIFE. Pay close attention… If. You. Are. Not. A. Man, Then. Don’t. Worry. About. What. Your. Life. Would. Be. IF. You. HAD. BEEN. A. Man. And. In. This. Same. Predicament!

If you are NOT a man, do NOT worry about what your life WOULD BE *IF* you HAD BEEN a man and in this SAME predicament. First of all, if you had been a man, you might not have been in this situation in the first place. Did you think of that? Maybe the reason you were hired is BECAUSE you’re a female. Maybe the reason you were hired is BECAUSE whomever found you physically attractive. Maybe the reason you were hired was SPECIFICALLY so that guys that you were going to work with would have a chick to try to bag. How about that?

Regardless of how you got there, PLEASE stop thinking that whatever your job qualifications are makes you “NOT a female”. SHOULD guys treat you with respect and equality? Definitely. Can you COUNT on that? Nope. Your hypothetical situations and protests about “if you had been a man, then X” and your hopes that “What’s Right” is going to save you from a bad predicament are exactly what makes you vulnerable to the predicament occurring in the first place.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day, and we were talking about using laptops in public places. She said she wouldn’t do it. My initial response to her was that it’s fine to do as long as you don’t leave your computer on the table and go somewhere else. I honestly felt that way, wholeheartedly, until she said “I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone knowing that I had my computer and potentially following me from the establishment”. That’s when the brakes screeched, and I told her she was EXACTLY right. EXACTLY. I was wrong and she was right, because she was thinking further into the situation than I was.

I would have been A FOOL to say “Well, if you bring your computer to a public place and use it, people SHOULDN’T follow you from there and try to steal it from you” or “People SHOULDN’T steal your computer/camera/what-have-you when you leave it unattended” or even “If you were a man, nobody would try to follow you and steal your computer”. A. FOOL!

You are SIMILARLY A FOOL if you are a woman that a guy finds attractive and you dismiss the concept that he’s going to try to have sex with you BECAUSE you are in a place of business or you are an executive or you are his boss or because you know someone that works there or for ANY. REASON. AT. ALL. Someone commented on one of my posts a few months ago something to the effect of “I can’t believe guys think this way in 2009″. Sorry. WAKE UP! Nothing’s changed about the game. If you feel like you’re getting pressured by a guy, you need to evaluate your situation and decide whether you want to fortify your position, take your chances and hope it works out in your favor, or BAIL OUT of the situation altogether.

Do Not let your pride get in the way and block you from potentially making the right decision FOR YOU. It’s pride that taps you on the shoulder and says “A man wouldn’t have to bail out in this situation, so I’m not going to either”. You are NOT a man, so don’t BOTHER thinking about what a man would or wouldn’t do if someone pressured him. ‘Matter of fact, if you want to think about it that way, like as if life’s supposed to be fair, then make sure you can see yourself RESPONDING the same way a man would. Does that make sense?…

If you want to go that route and say that you’re going to do whatever a man would do in the same situation, you’d better be willing to see yourself punching someone in the face, or worse. If that’s not YOU… If you don’t think you’re going to defend yourself (and defend yourself SUCCESSFULLY) in the event that bad becomes worse, then I suggest you make sure that you avoid “worse” entirely.

While we’re on the subject, I’m going to throw in a tip that I’m pretty sure I tell chicks EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK., which is do NOT accept opened drinks from people AT. ALL. If you don’t see that bartender open that beer and hand it to you, don’t drink it. If you walked away from your drink to go to the bathroom or take a phone call outside, do NOT pick it up and resume drinking it. If you require a visual to understand what I’m talking about, watch this episode of “Pink”, dated January 30, 2009:

So stop sleeping. Some guys are going to come after you regardless of what YOU think or what YOU want. Your best move is to be diligent & vigilant when it comes to your own safety. The more guys get away with, the more they’re going to TRY to get away with. Is it right? Nope. Is it fair? Nope. Is it the truth? Yep.

OTOH, There’s no need to be unnecessarily paranoid about this issue. In most situations, there are checks & balances in place which enable you to fortify your position. It might be your boss, it might be the Human Resources department, it might be the security working the job or local law enforcement, it might be a strengthening of your own demeanor. It doesn’t really matter how it gets done, so long as the potential offenders recognize that there will be consequences & repercussions if they persist in their behavior or ESCALATE their behavior. Without that… If you let them get away with the small stuff, they’re eventually going to try you on something more important. If you see things going in that direction, fortify or break out.

Stick to the facts. Keep your eyes on the prize. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they don’t feel like it. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they’re being respectful to you. Some of the time, guys don’t press up on you because they’re being respectful of the potential consequences & repercussions…. If a guy feels free to do stuff to you that you feel is disrespectful, you have a problem. If he continues after you inform him that you don’t like what he’s doing, you have an even BIGGER problem. If you can’t stop, and begin to visualize how you’re going to fortify your position and return your workspace to being a safe & comfortable environment for you, consider bouncing… go away… break north… leave…

Also, let’s be clear on one other thing. If you feel obliged to remain in a situation where you’re being taken advantage of, Trust & Believe that you DO. NOT. get to choose HOW MUCH ADVANTAGE the perpetrators take of you. Do NOT let your mental fantasies about what’s “right” and what “should” happen in life impair your ability to visualize all of the negative possibilities in your current situation. Similarly, Do Not overestimate your ability to say “No”.

This applies to everyone. If a guy is dating a chick and he has only one girl and he’s living in her house and playing the video games she bought him and eating off of her food stamps, he can talk all that good shit he wants about leaving her, but the fact of the matter is that his ability to make decisions about his relationship is ENTIRELY COMPROMISED by how beholding he is to her for his very livelihood. He knows it. She knows it. Everybody else knows it, too.

If that’s the situation you’re in, then you need to evaluate for yourself whether you actually want to protest or you’d rather lay down on the Casting Couch and take what’s coming to you. If keeping a job is that important to you, then you might need to realize that you’re just that type of person. There’s nothing wrong with that. There are lots of people that get screwed on the Casting Couch all the time… I’m sure many of them even like it or get kicks from the fact that they can get money or acting jobs or advance their careers simply by giving it up a few times. It’s better than starving, right?

right?

So I’m clear now. I’ve said what I have to say about the issue. My rant is done and I feel good. :)

The last thing I’ll add is that everyone who knows me knows I’m the LAST guy to begrudge the next man a chance to get it on with a chick. Any chick. “Don’t mean nuthin’” to me. I’ll listen to his story and probably even ‘slap him five’ and pat him on the back for getting his. This has nothing to do with guys getting laid. This has EVERYTHING to do with informing women about how the world REALLY works, from the standpoint of a guy that’s already done all this stuff to chicks ad infinitum, and having them either not understand or not believe what I’m telling them and walk into the same traps they would have fallen in if I had just stayed shut.

I’m self-absolved. My hands are clean. Good Luck.

~Bill