Back once again to save your day (or, your entire dating career, for that matter), Lindz & Bill return with our top 10 tips on “How To Marry A Prince”!!! :D

Lindz (urbanupdater.com)

1. Start saving your pennies now! – We all know princes are filthy rich, but that doesn’t mean they want you to be their charity case. Knowing that his princess works hard and can take care of herself financially is a turn on for him. Let’s be honest.. You really won’t have to.. It’s just in theory.

2. Commit yourself… To him: Even if you break up (That is.. If you still think you want a chance) – Notice how Prince William dated all kinds of different women when he broke up with Kate, but she dated NO ONE. That’s because a prince doesn’t want someone else’s leftovers. And if a Prince doesn’t want it, he doesn’t have to have it.

3. Know what a fascinator is.. And wear one – Even if you think it looks ridiculous, a prince wants a lady who’s put together, and fascinators make you look important.

4. Don’t bask in the limelight – That’s just bad form. You did this because you love him, not to get famous, right?

5. Don’t wear those shirts that say “It’s Not Easy Being a Princess” – Let’s just say you wouldn’t want to have an operation done by a doctor wearing a shirt that says “Trust Me, I’m a Doctor”. Case in point.

Bill (facebook.com/ReelSolid.TV)

6. Meet a prince – Princes don’t hang out at your job, in your apartment, or at your local bar. Find out where princes chill, like the polo club or whatever, and go post up there.

7. Carry yourself regally – Princes don’t want paupers. They want refined women that just happen to have been overlooked somehow. Be that woman.. Make him feel lucky that he found you, instead of the other way around.

8. Play Your Position – Recognize that you won’t be calling ANY shots, because he’s royalty by blood and you aren’t… However.. Expect and demand that your prince treats you with the proper respect and reverence as should be afforded that special gal that he selected to be his *only* woman AND bear him a couple dozen heirs.

9. Cultivate skills other than sex and cooking – The basics are only going to get you the audition. If you want to make it onto the roster and eventually become the cream that rises to the top, you’re going to have to have a lot more going for you than the same thing that all the other women offer him every day of the week.

10. Don’t go outside looking busted – Make sure you look stunning at all times. Women that princes date REMAIN paparazzi-fodder. A prince wants people to read the tabloids and say he’s extremely lucky to be marrying that woman, instead of “Dag! o_O .. He must have gotten her pregnant! :(”
–
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As a follow-up to my 2008 post “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating”, I’d like to offer the ladies some of my top tips for those of y’all that are currently involved in the dating scene:

* Continued from Part 02 *

5. Exercise for YOURSELF

Don’t bother going to the gym so you can pull a dude and then camp out on the couch with the bon bons and destroy the reason he kicked it to you in the first place.

Exercise because YOU want to like the way YOU look and feel. Exercise because it makes you feel better physically AND mentally. Exercise because you know you’re putting your best foot forward and therefore should have solid grounds to demand the same from a potential suitor.

Do not listen to people that tell you it’s cool for you to look “tore up from the floor up” while they consistently go on diet & exercise regimens COUGHoprahCOUGH.

6. EAT when you go out to dinner

If you’re fat, you’re fat. If you’re not, you’re not. One meal isn’t going to change that.

You’re not fooling anybody by showing up for a date in a maternity dress to hide your stomach and then ordering a salad. We know damned well you’re not eating salads when there aren’t any GUYS around.

That would be like me going out for lunch and ordering water when there are hundreds of pictures of The Kid on the internet with a beer in his hand. I’m not convincing you that I don’t drink alcohol by refusing to drink for an hour or two.

If you’re actually on a diet, that’s a different story. I’m talkin’ ’bout y’all (and you know who you are) that will sit down in front of a couple of leaves of lettuce and some dressing and act like you’re enjoying yourself while your entire demeanor is that of a woman that hasn’t eaten FOR DAYS and still hasn’t after you’ve finished your celery & carrot sticks.

7. Stop running your mouth for no reason

Srsly. Check that. :/ It’s completely ridiculous. Stop running your mouth about NOTHING and stop running your mouth about IRRELEVANT things. Nobody cares about the shoe sale at whatever store. Nobody cares about some catfight you had at work. Nobody cares that you and some other chick wore the same dress to a party.

Listen. Pay Attention. Figure out what the guy you’re dating feels is *RELEVANT* and then talk about THAT if you can. If you can’t talk about it right now, STUDY it. If you don’t want to study it, ask him to teach you about it. Guys would love to explain things to gals if we thought y’all could understand it. You’ll get way more credit for attempting to be relevant, even if you FAIL, than you’ll get for blabbering on and on about stuff we don’t care about.

In fact, remember how your moms was like “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” :D well.. “If you don’t have anything *RELEVANT* to say, don’t say anything at all”.

I’ve heard lots of guys lament having to put up with incessant chatter so they can have sex with some chick. I’ve never heard ONCE in my entire life that a guy dumped a girl because “I’m telling you man… She just doesn’t *SAY* anything! \o/”

* To be continued in Part 04: “Decency & Discretion” *

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As a follow-up to my 2008 post “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating”, I’d like to offer the ladies some of my top tips for those of y’all that are currently involved in the dating scene:

* Continued from Part 01 *

3. Clearly communicate what you want

A major mistake women make when they meet new guys is attempting to seem malleable or flexible… mentally… and being down for whatever he’s down for. This works perfectly well until it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty and then you’re like “I didn’t really want to do this.. I was just TELLING him I wanted to so he’d keep kickin’ it to me. :(“.

In extreme cases, this happens when the conversation about “How many kids do you want?” comes up. Lots of couples don’t want to talk about this for fear of turning the other person off, but what happens when she says “2″ and he says “6″? :/

In more general circumstances.. What if his idea about sex is gettin’ in where a brotha fit in and stayin’ up in there for an hour or two and she’s pretty much GOOD after about 30 minutes? O_o .. Or, as is way more often the case, hahahahaha what if his idea of sex could be completed during a television commercial break, and 5-minutes-worth of stimulation only gets her READY to want to START having sex? :D

Ladies.. Y’all need to tell the fellaz what you want and what you don’t want or else you’re gonna be back seat drivers in your own relationship.

4. Be congruent

A lot of women think they got dumped after sex because they had sex too soon.

There’s no such thing as “Sex too soon”. What happens is that the guy doesn’t assign any value to you OTHER than having sex, and when he decides he doesn’t want to hook up with you anymore he bounces.

This is why you want to be clear about what you want, let him know what’s special or unique about you and then carry yourself in a fashion that’s congruent with whomever you told him you were. If you’re not congruent, your word becomes trash and then he’s liable to do just about anything.

Here’s why you need to stick to your guns:

4a. You don’t get any points for giving it up

If you elect to play the role of a girl that doesn’t have sex, you need to maintain that facade because you won’t get any credit for suddenly deciding to give him some. What happens is that you look like what you actually are, which is someone that was feigning prudishness so as to not seem like a ho.

That’s actually WORSE than if you would have hooked up with him from the giddyap because by being straight up about it, you’re acting from your own power. You’re letting him know what you like to do and that you want to do it with him. It’s then on him to accept or decline. When you try to play it off, you look like you’re ashamed of your own sexuality, which makes you look mentally weak and then your stock plummets.

So if you decide to act like you don’t hook up, make sure you bought rechargeable batteries for your vibrator and keep playin’ that role.

4b. You don’t get any points for NOT giving it up

A lot of women think they get credit for holding out on a guy when it’s obvious that they WANT to have sex with him or they even tell him explicitly about how busy they get in the bedroom. *yawn* What you look like is either a direct bullshitter or someone that enjoys wasting people’s time by not doing what you clearly desire and think about doing with them.

Depending on how you play it, you also look like you’re waiting for a payday. Playing “Hard To Get” went out with black & white television and Gilligan’s Island. If you’re waiting to get paid, make sure you get paid BIG!!! >:D

Dudes have no problem shelling out a few hundred dollars to get you to lay down. Whenever you DO decide to hook up with him, make sure you think back to how much he’s spent on you since he started taking you out, because that’s the value he’s assigned to having sex with you.

So.. Be congruent… If you’re feelin’ a guy physically, you’re better off getting that out in the open from the start instead of letting him think he paid enough money to buy you off.

* To be continued in Part 03: “Exercise & Eat” *

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As a follow-up to my 2008 post “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating”, I’d like to offer the ladies some of my top tips for those of y’all that are currently involved in the dating scene:

1. Stop going outside looking like a bum

Being that women think romantic situations fall out of the sky via divine intervention, y’all often leave your cribs completely unprepared to visually impress a guy.

Here’s the problem with that. YOU don’t get to decide when you run into a guy you might like to date. If you’re in public AT ALL, you SHOULD be looking STELLAR. Period.

Also, in the year 2010, photo-ops come up instantaneously. If you show up to a party looking BUSTED, that’s what’s going to go out on Facebook, MySpace, Flickr, Bebo, and everywhere else people put pictures and/or videos and then that’s going to represent you to guys that stumble upon images of you in social media streams.

I told a friend of mine I was getting to a party early and her reply was “I’ll be there later because I need to go home from work, get myself looking good and then go to the party”. That’s EXACTLY what she should have done. >:D

Also, if you make plans to go out with someone you’re not romantically interested in, you STILL need to not look bummy because you never know who’s going to show up wherever y’all went to eat, drink or hang out and then you’ll feel corny for wearing your Grandmother 1930′s sweater, non-fitting pants and flip-flops outside instead of looking like a gal a guy would actually like to meet and potentially date.

The Game is *Always* On. Act As If.

2. Only date guys you have references for

A lot of guys wonder why I know so many women. Well… I know so many women because I know so many women.

HAHAHA I’m not being funny when I say that. Women know other women. The more women you know, the more women you’re going to meet. The best thing about that is that there’s a two-way system of checks & balances that comes automatically equipped with your new acquaintance. Both of youse get to ask the middle-woman about the other one.

On top of that, the vast majority of the time, people don’t want to introduce you to crumbs because that’s going to make THEM look bad and look like poor judges of character or even worse, that they were trying to parlay your friendship into some kind of business or networking deal on the sneak tip. So you can pretty much assume before asking either the introducer or the introducee any questions at all that this person is most likely cool.

Meanwhile… Every sentence I hear about dating from women starts out with “I met this guy on okCupid and…”, “I met this guy on PlentyOfFish and…”, “I met this guy on Match.com and…”.. and I’m like “Do these chicks know ANY guys that could actually INTRODUCE THEM to guys they might like to date? :D”.

One of the reasons y’all have so many problems dating is that you keep starting over from scratch with every new guy that you meet that you have ZERO social connection to whatsoever. Another problem is that he doesn’t have any incentive NOT to jerk you around because if you stop talking to him, who cares? He has more girls lined up on the dating sites. If you give him a bad review, who cares? You don’t know anybody he knows, so you’re a tree falling in the woods.

Y’all get to skip all that by meeting guys that your friends already know. If he’s a jerk, you can find that out ahead of time (or else your friends SUCK for not vetting him before introducing him to you). If he’s not a jerk NOW, he’s going to think at least thrice before BECOMING ONE, because he knows his entire social set’s going to find out about it with the worst-case scenario being that your full name becomes slang for a description of a particular way of being.. which is NORMALLY NEGATIVE! :D

I happen to find this extremely funny, BTW! HAHA (example: “Who? Winston?… Yeah, I know him.. That guy’s a Bill Cammack. :/”) hahaha I love that SO MUCH when someone attains the height of notoriety while walking around oblivious to the fact that everyone’s hip to his M.O. hahaha :D

Anyway, ladies.. Y’all need to start meeting guys through homegirls of yours instead of going on all these pot-luck grab-bag dates and ending up playing Parcheesi* at 2am in some hipster bar with some dude that’s currently too drunk to get up and walk away, much less do anything else interesting to you this evening. O_o

* Parcheesi is an actual board game.

“Playing Parcheesi at 2am” is not an euphemism for sex.

To be continued in Part 02: “Communication & Congruence“.

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First of all, nobody knows what happened (if anything) the other day between Chris Brown & Rihanna. You know how the internet works… Somebody says something and somebody else believes it and reports it as truth then somebody else exaggerates the first “truth” and you end up with all this garbage.

Here’s some of what the Associated Press (AP) reported yesterday:

John Rogers: LOS ANGELES (AP) — Chris Brown, who was arrested a week ago in connection with a domestic violence investigation, said Sunday he is “sorry and saddened” by what happened and is seeking counseling from his pastor and loved ones.

The 19-year-old R&B singer also said much of what has been reported of the incident is untrue, although he did not elaborate.

“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person,” Brown said in a statement issued through publicist Michael Sitrick.

“Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and-or reported in the media is wrong,” he added. But he said he couldn’t discuss that in detail until his case is resolved.

Brown surrendered to Los Angeles police on Feb. 8 and was released on $50,000 bail after being booked for investigation of making a criminal threat, a felony. He has not been charged by the district attorney’s office, which is still investigating the case.

His arrest reportedly stemmed from an argument with his girlfriend, fellow singer Rihanna, shortly after they left a pre-Grammy Awards party.

Now.. Other than that, there are a lot of rumors floating around. There’s a lot of SPECULATION about what started the argument, what happened during the argument, what was said during the argument and even what had occurred between them BEFORE that day, as far as physical altercations, none of which appear to stem from actual eye-witness accounts.

So let’s take a few of these rumored situations and discuss ways to deal with them… But first….

Where to start a fight

Photo Credit: TMZ

In case you don’t know what a Lamborghini is, this is what it looks like. It basically looks like a race car that belongs on the track or on television, except it’s rolling down the street like a pink elephant.

I don’t believe there has been one time, EVAR, that I have been in the presence of a Lamborghini and not looked at it until it was ALL THE WAY out of my line of sight. Never.

The point being… If you DID decide to kick someone’s ass and you intend to get away with it, inside a pink elephant with windows is NOT the place to do it. Even if you escape the scene, the witnesses are going to say “Well… I didn’t catch a glimpse of who it was…… but he drove off in a LAMBORGHINI.

On top of that, if you rented the car, you have to RETURN IT, and trust me, if rental places check for damage you caused in a U-Haul (which I know about), they’ll check for damage you caused IN A LAMBORGHINI (which I know nothing about).

ok.. On with the rumors:

Rumor 01: Another dude tapped Rihanna

I think the first rumor I heard about this situation was that the argument was about Rihanna hooking up with another dude. One option in this situation is to get upset and start a fight inside a rented Lamborghini. Another option is to attempt to verify this report, and if it turns out to be true, DUMP HER!… Meaning end the relationship, *not* dump her out of the rolling Lamborghini.

See, people tend to trap themselves in these so-called “relationships” with one person and then they get overly emotionally attached to what that one person does with their time or their bodies. The recognition that you actually have ZERO CONTROL over what your “significant other” does can cause people to temporarily or permanently LOSE IT big-time. There’s no preparing for this. It’s on-the-job training. You can say to somebody a million times “How would you feel if your girl gave it up to the next man?”, and no matter how many times they give you their thoughts on the matter, it’s an entirely different ball game in that split second where they actually BELIEVE it and they aren’t ready to handle it.

It’s important to note in these situations that while you have ZERO control over your S.O., you have 100% control over YOURSELF, which means that you can decide at any time that you’re no longer “in a relationship” with this chick and step to the left. Pull the car over to the sidewalk, give her a bus or subway token and say “Shalom”.

Why this doesn’t usually happen

Your girlfriend hooking up with another dude is most likely a ToS violation, which should result in her dismissal due to breach of contract. This should be especially true in the case of R&B singers. These are the guys that sing the songs that get OTHER. GUYS. LAID!… They shouldn’t have *any* problems getting a new girl TO-DAY, after they (no pun intended) “kick their girl to the curb”.

The problem here is pride. People like to feel proud of their relationships, as if they’ve actually done something. They like to feel like “I’ve got this girl/guy in DEEP CHECK!”. Letting go of the relationship doesn’t make them feel like a winner. It makes them feel like a loser. They feel like they couldn’t hold on to what they had or that someone else TOOK what they had away from them.

Take a step back. Recognize who you are as an individual and if your S.O. doesn’t want to comply with your ToS, let them go do whatever they want and choose a new girl from your groupies backstage at the concert. Seriously. It’s not that big a deal. Let it go.

Rumor 02: Chris got a text from another chick

The next unsubstantiated rumor I heard was that they were driving along, and Chris received a text message from some chick that wanted to hook up with him later on that evening. Somehow, Rihanna found out about this, and beef ensued.

First of all, if you’re the type of dude to a) have a girlfriend and b) still have OTHER girls that you mess with, ACT. AS. IF.:

1. Act as if your extra girls are going to call you while you’re rolling down the street in a rented Lamborghini.
2. DO NOT have your phone out in plain sight, where your girl can read the bootie-call message when it flashes on the screen while playing a ringtone from one of your own records about having sex with a girl behind your girlfriend’s back.
3. DO keep your phone locked at all times.
4. DO NOT honor your main squeeze’s requests to unlock your phone so she can see.

Unfortunately, even if the text/call you receive is “innocent” & platonic, there is nothing the next chick would like BETTER than to see you break up with your main girl. Nothing. All she needs to hear is that the two of you were spotted leaving XYZ establishment together in a nice car for her to go “OOOOOH!!! I’m gonna call him right now!”. Next thing you know, they’re suspending your commercial endorsement deals.

Question: Whose fault is this?

I just went back and looked over my list of ToS Violations, because I just realized that I left out “raising your hands to him”. I left it out, because stuff like that really doesn’t cross my mind. Getting hit by a chick that I’m messing with, “dating” or even FRIENDS WITH is absolutely unfathomable to me.

Anybody who’s actually hung out with me knows I’m extremely physical with chicks, in a win-win, “let’s both have a good time” way.

Sometimes, I get ahead of the game plan (not mine haha, hers!) and she’ll give me a verbal or physical notification that I’ve gone out of bounds.

Since my goal is for both of us to have a good time, we’ll talk about the issue, figure out the solution/boundary and then go back to “doing what we do”.

As far as I can recall, I’ve never been slapped by a chick when I didn’t fully deserve it.

Having said that… What I said above goes for WOMEN as much as it goes for men. In the hypothetical situation where your man receives a text message from another chick who wants to hook up with him, your responsibility is to “hold your head” or “maintain” or “keep your wits about you”, because you are NOT authorized to hit him because you lost your %&*#&$@ mind and didn’t know what to do with your nervous energy and suddenly-stressed emotional state other than put your hands up and strike a man.

I spoke about this in October, 2008 in “A Woman’s Place…”. While there are lots of guys that subscribe to “A man should *never* hit a woman under any circumstances”, there are enough men that DO NOT subscribe to this that make it DANGEROUS for women to hit men. Of course, there are also a lot of dangerous WOMEN that MEN don’t want to hit either hahaha, but the point is that being considered smaller or weaker than someone else does NOT give you carte blanche to physically lash out at that person and not expect for there to be consequences & repercussions.

This is why I disagree with elements of this recent Jay Smooth video where he interviews Elizabeth Mendez Berry, who wrote the Vibe magazine’s 2005 “Love Hurts” (PDF) feature about domestic violence within (and without) hip-hop:

4 minutes in, Jay says:

What do you say… I see so many reactions on the blog and stuff and a lot of it comes from women, saying “Well, if you expect to be equal, then if you hit him, you’ve got to expect he’s gonna hit you back. He’s got to be able to defend himself. What do you say to someone who’s looking at it that way?

And part of Elizabeth’s response is (and I understand that this was edited for brevity, so we don’t really know what her entire answer was):

[Edit point]I am responsible for my actions… If I hit my husband, he has every right to be upset with me… But the question is, does he have the right to hit me back? No. Each person is accountable for their own response and the choice that they make. [Edit Point] In a relationship, when you get upset, there’s a ton of different responses you could have. [Edit Point] And the question is… If I’m 5’4″ and I weigh 120 lbs, and my husband’s 6’5″, it’s not an equal and opposite reaction. [Edit Point]

Again… I know those were edited and we don’t know the entirety of what she said on the topic. Responding to the face value of her comments, as I’ve transcribed them in the blockquotes above, the first theory is absolutely wrong and the last statement isn’t a guarantee.

The way it works is… If you’re 5’4″ and your husband is 6’5″, survival instinct should dictate to you not to put your hands on him AT. ALL. Does that make sense?

Think about it this way… If you’re a 5’4″ female and you’re standing next to a 6′ tall female, are you going to put your hands on HER? Nope. Because she’ll beat you to a pulp and you won’t have anything to say about it because you’re both females.

Same thing with guys. Do shorter guys get a pass? Nope. You raise your hands to someone, that means you’re looking for a fight and you may very well get what you want. This is why in professional fighting (Boxing, MMA) they have WEIGHT CLASSES. They don’t allow the Welterweights to fight the Heavyweights. They don’t even allow the Light-Heavyweights to fight the Heavyweights.

So, at face value from the edit, her first theory is absolutely incorrect. The question isn’t whether her husband has the right to hit her back if she hits him. The question is whether she can control herself enough not to put her hands on him OR ANYONE ELSE in the first place.

The last part, where she mentions “equal and opposite reaction” isn’t guaranteed. If you slap somebody, they’re not obliged to slap you back and call it a day. You decided how you were going to start it and they’re going to decide how they want to finish it. This is why the high road in these situations is SELF CONTROL. Be the better man or woman when there’s a problem in your relationship. Recognize the alternatives and apply them when appropriate…. One of which is……..

Call the cops

That’s right. Call the cops.

If your girl can’t keep her hands to herself and you feel like you’re about to whip up on that ass, do yourself a favor and call the cops.

Turn her in.  Drop dime.

Hitting you is a ToS violation, so you’re going to break up with her anyway, right?.. So who cares if she’s on Rikers or not? Lock her up. BUH-BYE! *waving at helicopter flying away*

Why this doesn’t usually happen

The problem… AGAIN… is pride. Dudes don’t want to look like a chump for calling the cops on some cro-mag female that can’t use her brain well enough to not put her hands on other people… ESPECIALLY people she’s supposed to be in some sort of special relationship with.

Strangely enough, they’re perfectly ok with looking like a chump for beating a chick up. Actually, it’s not even a female issue. They’re perfectly ok with looking like a chump for beating up someone below their weight class.

Let it go, guys. Just admit you made a poor choice in women, dump her, get a new chick and start all over. Turn her in or don’t, but this chick is a problem waiting to happen, so before you’re the next Chris Brown, all up in the tabloids because you couldn’t find a way to have a good time with a chick in a $200,000 sports car, let your next move be your BEST MOVE, return her to wherever you found her and only associate with women who are trying to move their lives AND YOURS in a positive direction.

~Bill

Twitter: BillCammack
DatingGenius Category: billcammack.com/category/datinggenius
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