You know?….. It’s actually completely amazing to me how differently men and women’s minds work when it comes to relationships. Most of the time, I can’t even believe it. I’m like “Are you serious? :/”.

Let’s think about the concept of being “unable” to remain faithful or screwing a bunch of chicks behind your wife or girlfriend’s back because you were too WEAK to do otherwise… That. Is. The. Most. Retarded. ****. I’ve. Ever. Heard. and it persists. It’s like no matter how much evidence women receive, they refuse to believe that dudes just basically aren’t interested in monogamy.

Maybe some of y’all could leave a comment below and help me out. Let me tell you how it actually works for guys, and then you can tell me how your brain ***** this up.

1) Guy meets girl
2) Girl won’t give it up without blackmail agreement of fidelity
3) Guy agrees to fidelity in order to procure sex from said chick
4) Guy meets a different chick
5) Guy feels like ******* her too and does so
6) Guy doesn’t get caught and his relationship continues
7) Eventually, guy gets caught
8) Girl bounces from relationship, claiming her man was too WEAK to not screw other chicks
9) Guy keeps hooking up with the chicks he has left on the roster
10) Wash, Rinse, Repeat [goto 1]
11) End of Program

Like, I mean how ******* SIMPLE could it possibly be? I don’t know why chicks just can’t get this. \o/

Let me try with a different example:

1) Guy goes to work
2) Two weeks later, the job writes him a check
3) Guy deposits check in bank
4) Bank clears check
5) Guy removes cash from ATM
6) Guy has money
7) Wash, Rinse, Repeat [goto 1]

Please tell me how you mentally arrive at the determination that the guy didn’t really want the money and that some mental or moral deficiency of his is what led to him cashing the check that he didn’t want. Please amaze me once again with your skillz at understanding men, why we do what we do and what our uses for you are.

Why are those situations exactly the same? I’ll tell you. Getting chicks is WORK. Chicks don’t just offer themselves to you like it’s Amsterdam and they’re hookers in the window while you’re walking down the street. WE have to step to chicks. WE have to make it happen. Just like guys go to work BECAUSE they want to get paid, guys talk to girls BECAUSE we want to get laid. Period. Unless we have something in common with you like we’re in the same line of work or share the same hobbies, that’s what we’re doing.. Setting up future-sex.

The work is the TALKING and the check is the SEX. It’s very simple. If you can understand the process whereby a man receives money for work that he did, you can understand how he screws at least 14 chicks behind your back COUGHelinCOUGH, ***** some tattoo-freak-looking chick for 11 months while you’re filming movies COUGHsandraCOUGH, imports hookers across state lines to the tune of $4,000 for something he should be getting for free COUGHsildaCOUGH, or escapes to Argentina to spend intimate time with the love of his life COUGHjennyCOUGH.

Why is it, exactly, that you believe that men that have no problems whatsoever carrying out their myriad duties in life juuuuuuuuuust can’t get a handle on how to NOT **** other women? :D It’s completely retarded.. really. Have you ever seen Tiger Woods hit a golf ball in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION of the hole he’s trying to get it in? O_o .. Just tee it up and hit it in the direction of the clubhouse instead of the green? Do you think his mind fails to work randomly? Wouldn’t that become evident on the golf course? Wouldn’t he *NOT* be a champion? I can’t hit a golf ball AT ALL. I would thoroughly be unsurprised if I took a swing and the ball went backwards instead of forwards, or maybe straight up in the air and fell back down where the tee used to be. What is it that makes you think being faithful to a chick is tougher than playing golf? What is it that makes you mentally strive to explain away 11-month affairs by saying the guy was too weak to stand up to his commitment? What is it that makes you believe there’s any excuse for hiring $4,000 hookers other than “I felt like it. \o/”?

This is funny and all, but I’m actually sick of this. You don’t know how tough it is for me not to look you in the eye and say “YOU are a ******* IDIOT!”. Guys run multi-million dollar corporations and get elected to high-level public positions BY CALCULATION. How is it that you can look at someone and say he’s so great at getting his way and then not see infidelity as him getting his way as he normally does in life?

My uneducated guess is that you’ve either been properly brainwashed or you don’t want to face the fact that the truth SUCKS! :D Strangely enough, I have to go with the brainwashing, because it’s amazing to look in chicks’ eyes IRL and SEE that they CLEARLY don’t understand what happened. The evidence just doesn’t register. That’s some good-ass brainwashing right thurrrr. It’s easier than Eddie Murphy said, which is that even if they catch you pounding out another chick and see it with their own eyes, just say “It wasn’t me”.

Anyway, I just needed to rant about this one last time before I attempt to let it go forever. I’m tired. I’m tired of explaining to chicks that monogamy is absolutely unnatural. I’m tired of explaining to chicks that guys hook up with other girls because they feel like it and not because of some derangement or deficiency or weakness. We tell you what we have to tell you to get laid. Some of us mean it, some of us don’t. Get a clue… PLEASE! :/

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Women are better liars than men. This is because, in general, women can immerse themselves in fantasies way better than men can.

If women want to start to feel turned on, what do they do?… That’s right… READ A BOOK!!! :O .. Some words.. In a little paperback novel with one picture of Fabio on the cover holding some chick that they project to be them. Suddenly!!!… A Puerto Rican gal sitting on her fire escape in Harlem, NYC is ACTUALLY a southern belle, dressed like the woman on the cover, riding in a Horse & Buggy with her Fabioesque lover whom she imagines is only having sex with her until 100 pages later where she reads that TMZ reported that her man has been ******* every maid and nanny that they’ve ever hired since their relationship began.

Meanwhile.. Does that work for guys?… HEEEEEEEEEELLZ NAW!!! :D It’s the exact opposite. We need VISUAL STIMULATION and AS FEW WORDS FROM THE CHICK AS POSSIBLE!!! :D And it had better be the RIGHT stimulation, too! :D Too skinny? Won’t work. Too fat? Won’t work. Not sexy enough? Won’t work. Not “slutty” enough? Won’t work. Too into it? Won’t work. Not into it enough? Won’t work. Not dressed properly? Won’t work. Not doing the right actions? Won’t work. Doing the right action in the wrong way? Won’t work…..

Guys have to have EXACTLY what turns them on in order to feel turned on. Meanwhile gals only need the mental suggestion of a situation and they fill in all the blanks themselves. THIS is what makes women better liars than men.. blank-filling.

Guys can only grasp the part of the lie that they can comprehend, so their lies are like the icing on a cupcake instead of the entire cupcake. Guys say stuff like “I was playing poker with the fellaz” and think that’s a complete lie. They think that’s it, because when they visualize the lie, they see themselves with cards in their hands, money, chips, a drink on the table, some cigar smoke in the air…….. and that’s about it. They don’t know what the table looks like. They don’t know whose basement they’re playing in. They don’t know who else was involved in the game. They don’t know what area the house was in. They don’t know if they ordered pizza. They don’t know what alcohol they were drinking or what brand. They don’t know what time they got there. They don’t know what time they left. They don’t know what was on the television or the radio. This is because they were ******* some girl and really don’t think their main girlfriend’s smart enough to catch them in ANY lie, EVAR! :D

Meanwhile, women HAVE all this information because they’re immersed in their lies. They actually believe them. When the novel says “Fabio took her hand…”, she SEES Fabio. She SEES his hand. She SEES her hand. She sees the carriage and the horses and the driver and the leaves and what color they are and how many of them are on the ground and how many of them are in the trees and the walkway and the house and the color of Fabio’s eyes and the type of dress she was wearing and whether it was hand-made or not and how much money was in Fabio’s pocket or whether the butler was holding the ducats so the lines of Fabio’s suit wouldn’t be ruined and the color of her skin as she blushed at the gentlemanly treatment she was receiving from her man……. :/

THIS is why you can’t beat women at lying. This is ALSO why women catch YOU in lies! :D When you say you were playing poker, she receives an incomplete picture of the scene and a whole bunch of questions naturally occur to her that you don’t have the answers to, such as which shirt you wore to the hangout. um… WHAT? :O Now you’re all defensive because the only thing you remember from last night is what that chick looked like from behind. Now that you know you’re about to get caught, you get nervous and jumpy and overreact to simple questions that should be as easy to answer as “Was the light red or green when you crossed the street two minutes ago?”.. and down the rabbit hole you go. SEEYA!!! :D

Interestingly enough, immersion is also the reason that women are way more SUSCEPTIBLE to lies than men are. If you have the proper relationship to her (read: She’s “in love” with you), you can tell her anything you want, such as “No, honey. I’m not having sex with up to 10 other women, most of whom are waitresses or some other minimum-wage-type job” and she’ll turn around and tell all her girlfriends that her man is faithful to her regardless of what the truth is.

You can tell her anything you want.. “Check it out, SUNNN…. I was in Central Park earlier, and the grass was RED!!! :O”.. 20 minutes later, she’s on the phone or texting with her girlfriend talking about how the grass was red in Central Park this afternoon as if she saw it with her own eyes. It’s just too easy. :)

Now, it might SEEM that MEN are more susceptible to being lied to than women are. That’s technically true, but not actually. It’s not that the men actually fell for the lies.. It’s that we weren’t listening and don’t care what you said. When the game is on and you decide that that’s the time to tell us your lie about what you did last night, we don’t want to think about such irrelevant drivel and we’ll “yes” you off so you can stop interrupting us. We like to devote as little mental energy and time as possible to conversations that YOU start.

This works out to the female liar’s advantage because when y’all say “I was at the mall all afternoon”, we don’t want to hear ONE. MORE. DETAIL about the mall. We don’t care which mall you went to or which homegirls you hung out with or what shops you went to or what you bought or where the receipts are or your parking validation. Nothing. Nobody cares. :D Meanwhile, you were all up under some dude all afternoon and you’re like “heh, heh, heh.. Got away with it AGAIN! >:D”.

It’s probably all for the best anyway because your woman’s better prepared to ANSWER your questions than you are to ASK her questions that might trip her up. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. Everyone gets to feel good about themselves and the relationship continues.

Will this ever change? I doubt it. :) Guys are relatively dense. When their girlfriend asks them “How come you didn’t text me (or have any OTHER contact with me) for four days in a row?”, their response is “I was sick”. haha It really doesn’t occur to them that sickness wouldn’t have prevented them from pressing their thumbs against plastic to text her or AT LEAST hitting the ONE DIGIT that would activate the AUTO-DIAL that she knows he has her on in his phone. I guess he didn’t eat or drink liquids for four days as well? Even “I lost my phone and it was just returned to me in the mail” doesn’t work anymore because people have so many ways to contact each other via Social Media. Meanwhile, the obvious answer is that he was ******* the next chick for four days and forgot that you exist, or at least didn’t CARE that you exist until the better chick became unavailable.

So.. Think about the best liars you know… Are they women or men and what makes them better? O_o

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

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Add John Edwards to the list of politicians who were discovered to have had sex outside of their marriage, including Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, David Paterson, etc, etc, etc…… *yawn*

I’m going to try to get in and out of this one, haha no pun intended, rather quickly, because I’m actually completely bored of the topic of people “cheating” in relationships. The fact of the matter is that human beings operate off of FREE WILL and do whatever they want WHENever they want, regardless of what they told you last month, last week, last night or the last telephone conversation you had with them.

Politicians, however, are in a “special circumstances” situation… at least, if they’re aiming for the top…. which… of course… is to become the President of the United States of America.

George Bush is the forty-third and current PotUS. Out of those 43 men, only ONE wasn’t married. That was James Buchanan.

James “Jimbo” Buchanan, Jr. was the fifteenth President of the United States, between the years of 1857 and 1861…. That’s EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SEVEN! :D hahahaha That’s the middle of the NINETEENTH CENTURY! There was not ONE unmarried PotUS in the entire Twentieth Century. The first and last one was approximately ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS AGO! :D There is absolutely no end to this trend in sight…. I mean, it’s not even a “trend”. James Buchanan was an anomaly. Getting married is virtually a prerequisite for being elected President.

I’m sure you can imagine that this puts an incredible amount of stress on young male politicians to get married whether they want to or not. On top of that, they need to do it early, so that they can be seen as upstanding members of society and receive the endorsements that are going to eventually carry them to the big show.

Meanwhile, in every other profession on the planet, you can be single and prosper. You can have as many chicks as you want and all people are going to say is “Go, Man, Go!” or hate on you because you have stuff that they wish they had and are never going to get.

The reason why being a politician creates “special circumstances” is that you’re being groomed to take charge and control of really important things….. like… the Armed Forces?… And at the same time, you’re NOT supposed to do what YOU feel like doing. I mean… It would be one thing if you had NO money, NO prestige, NO power, NO fame and NO opportunity, then, yeah, sure… be happy you got one girl ever in life and leave it at that. Being a politician, though, requires shouldering ‘heavy’ responsibilities and making hard decisions that affect many, many people. Politicians are GROOMED to impose their will on others. That’s the only way to properly represent the people that elected you to office. What are you there for, if not to effect change and advocate for what you believe in and what YOU want for your constituents?

So, politicians are between a rock and a hard place. They can either get married and have career potential or NOT get married and have women that they’re physically attracted to and enjoy having sex with as a trade-off for their highest professional aspirations in life. It’s actually worse than that, because some politicians probably only became popular with the ladies AFTER they had positions of power, which means AFTER they were already married with children. How wack is THAT? :D When it’s FINALLY time for you to get on, you’re not supposed to do it. When chicks are FINALLY throwing panties at you, like they never did when you were an A+ student GEEK in high school & college, NOW, you’re not supposed to hook up with them. NOW that you can afford to spend $4,000 a pop on imported hookers, people literally want to make a Federal Case out of it.

I have to pause for the cause, here hahaha. I was in DC one time for my sister’s friend’s birthday party in some kind of pie-in-the-sky hotel where the center of the bar/club in the penthouse stays in one place and the outside slowly rotates, so you can sit at your table and get a 360 degree view of the surrounding area… beautiful! :D So anyway… I had to go downstairs and come back up to the party, and I was waiting to transfer to the elevator that went to the PH. This middle-aged dude comes out of a room and sits down in a chair to wait for the same elevator. Nothing unusual. Next thing I know, this ONE other middle-aged dude ushers no fewer than SIX much-younger Asian chicks (yet obviously legal) out into the hallway, dressed to the NINES, and they flock around this dude in the chair like he was like… I dunno… Brad Pitt? Richard Gere? hahaha So I’m thinking WTF is going on here? :D So we go to the party, and I’m hanging out with my sister and her friends at the bar, and I spot that same one dude on the dance floor with ALL SIX CHICKS AROUND HIM! :D That’s when I got hip to the fact that “Money Talks and Bullshit Walks” and he had obviously “ordered out”.

Now, I don’t know a thing about that dude as far as whether he was a politician or business man or whatever, but that’s how some dudes are living. Doing what they want to do, when they want to do it and spending their money on what they enjoy… in that particular case, women. That’s GOT to be hard for poliicians to listen to on the back 9 of the golf course… especially when THEY probably have more money and prestige than the guys livin’ it up!

Does this EXCUSE them? Nope. They still made the agreement. They accepted the commitment that comes along with marriage. If they get caught out there doing their thing, their character takes a hit and that might very well signal the end of their political careers anyway. Politicians should be as accountable as anyone else for not being people of their word. It just seems like people are MORE shocked when its a politician involved in these monthly scandals, when basically, it’s like Chris Rock said, ““A man is basically as faithful as his options”.

Speaking of “Special Circumstances”… What’s the deal with making the wives do the perp-walk with them to the podium? Hand-in-hand, merrily they walk to center-stage while he camera flashes go off, and the wife stands there for however long she has to, looking like “Picture of Rejection”, while her husband “admits” what has already been in the tabloids for days, weeks, months or years. I mean, seriously. Someone needs to revamp the speeches they write for these guys and put a couple of lines in for the wife, too.

I know what the point is. It’s showing the world that a) you didn’t get dumped when your wife found out what you did, and b) that the most slighted person in this situation has apparently forgiven you, so everyone else should just ease back and fuhgeddabouddit. Unfortunately, that only works when your wife is SMILING and appears to be HAPPY to be standing next to you. When they look shellshocked, because you dragged them on stage one day after they found out what you did on the television news or your daughter came home from junior high school with the story, it really doesn’t help your campaign for sympathy.

Anyway… As tough as it is to run successful companies, it’s got to be tougher to run cities, states and countries. We’re bred as Americans to take what we want and strive to be the best at whatever we do. It’s just not natural to expect the leaders of leaders of leaders to not indulge in the finer things in life. Having said that, we would like to imagine that our leaders are beyond reproach. I think this is the key to why people are so amazed every time this happens. We’d like to believe that our politicians believe what we believe, which is why we elect them to advocate for us. We’d like to believe that no matter how much power, money or fame our leaders accumulate, they’ll still carry themselves with the humility of a West Virginian lumberjack who goes to church with his wife, plays XBOX with his son and participates in the annual log-rolling competition. But if you think about it….

What’s the point of being the President if you can’t get blown under the table? :/
 
DatingGenius
 
 

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