I’m not good at giving out compliments. :)

They just don’t work the right way for me.

It’s weird, it’s like a version of stage fright or something.

I know what I want to say and it’s obvious and simple.

When I’m finally there with her, IRL, f2f, I decide I’m going to tell her how great she is, and…..

Usually, I can remember the first element of the compliment and then the rest of my mind goes completely blank.

It’s like I’m walking around in a forest, looking for the bag where I left all my notes that I wrote down explaining the compliments.

Immersion

It’s really strange and it’s VERY funny to experience for someone like me, to whom mental domination is paramount in life. I have to learn and think about and remember and implement so many ideas that it’s just ridiculous that I trip up on complimenting a gal for something she definitely deserves and is extremely obvious to me.

I know why this happens to me. In the process of telling her about herself, I start THINKING about the qualities that I’m describing to her and instances where I noticed these things about her. I can’t do both at the same time. I can’t mentally consider how great she is and talk about it simultaneously. My mind doesn’t work like that.

Mentally, I become entirely immersed in whatever I’m thinking deeply about. The outside world actually ceases to exist for me and I’m “in” whatever I’m currently considering. It’s a large part of what makes me who I am as a video editor. I actually live inside my projects while my attention’s on them.

Normally, this isn’t a problem because when you’re talking to women, they’re yakking about their day or some shoes they saw in a store window, or if you’re lucky, they’re in your same field so you can “talk shop” with them, or you’re discussing something else that has nothing to do with a) how you feel about them, or b) how they make you feel when you’re around them.

So I know why this happens, but there’s nothing I can do about it… Well, I mean, I could type out the compliments and read them off of my smartphone like the rappers do when they’re claiming to be freestyling, but that doesn’t come off as the most genuine, when you’re saying “Your eyes are like limpid pools…” while you’re looking down at your phone and nowhere near her eyes. :D

Donuts

I received a lesson in how to NOT compliment women from a close homegirl of mine, whose opinions I value greatly. I was explaining to her this spiffy (or, so I thought) comment I made about another homegirl of mine’s wardrobe. LongStoryShort, I had happily mentioned that the color and texture of her jacket reminded me of my favorite donuts.

So my friend BUSS OUT LAUGHING AT ME while looking at me like she can’t believe I did that, and I’m like “What? \o/”. As a guy, this compliment makes perfect sense. Donuts are tasty & delicious. Donuts are made to look very pretty when they’re sitting on the shelves. Donuts make people happy. Donuts make people SMILE!!! :D

Unfortunately for me.. Donuts make people FAT. :/

I then received a lesson about how you can’t compliment women by associating them with fattening foods. You have to compare them to slimming or at least slim-looking foods, like celery.

Obviously, this is ridiculous, :D but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from The Game, it’s to not do what MAKES SENSE, but instead, do what’s EFFECTIVE.

Do Fries Go With That Shake?

For instance.. Let’s say you know a chick that usually dresses in a frumpy fashion where she looks like her own grandmother and you’ve been ‘meh’ about her this whole time, and then she shows up to a party wearing a stylish miniskirt and tights and you’re like “DAAAAMMMMNNN!!! :O” because you didn’t know she had a nice ass like that:

You can’t exactly compliment her directly about how foyine her ass is, so you have to finesse it. :) You ask her if she’s been working out, and mention that her “Shape” is looking good.

Same thing with the gear. You can’t tell her “I’m glad you finally stopped dressing like them Amish chicks”. You say something like “That’s a really good look for you! :D”.

So, like, in my case.. Even though the chick’s gear reminds me of donuts, I should have said something like “That jacket works really well with your skin tone! :D” or some bullshit like that and then followed up with a compliment about her eyes.

As I’ve discussed before, “Eyes” are the safest compliment you can give a woman. This is because women find it tough to attribute sexual value to their eyes.

If you compliment her ass, she’s thinking it’s because you want to **** her. If you compliment her legs, she thinks it’s because you want them up on your shoulders. If you compliment her hands or her lips… well, you know what she’s thinking. If you compliment her hair, she thinks its because you want to pull it while you’re ******* her.

Pretty much, “Eyes” are the only thing you can compliment a gal on that always works and never makes her start projecting that you consider her a sex object…. Which she is, or else you wouldn’t be talking to her in the first place, but, you know… \o/

Business

You can also compliment a woman on her achievements in business. “Oh!.. You’re a CEO?.. That’s GREAT!!! :D”. “Oh!.. You’re working on your startup?.. That’s GREAT!!! :D”. Not that anybody cares about this if she shows up for drinks looking like Frumpty Dumpty (HAHAHAHA credit: Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker! HAHAHA), but they like hearing stuff like this and you definitely get points for it.

Kids

If she has kids, you have to compliment their personalities instead of their looks. Say stuff like “They’re so well-mannered! :D” or “They’re so intelligent! :D” instead of “DAYUM!!! :D When we have kids, they’re gonna look *DOPE*, SUNN!!! :D”.

Intelligence

If she says something intelligent, try not to appear surprised.

Weight

Weight Loss is also a highly effective compliment for women. Due to society’s brainwashing, women always feel like they a) CAN lose 5 pounds, and b) would look BETTER if they lost 5 pounds. In lots of cases, neither one is the truth. Regardless.. When you see her, mention that she’s lost weight since the last time you saw her. Don’t ASK her if she’s lost weight, say it like it’s an obvious fact.

If she’s actually lost weight, she’ll be happy that you noticed. If she hasn’t lost weight, she’ll be happy that *SOMEONE* feels like she lost weight.

Style

If you go to her crib, compliment the decor. Women spend a lot of time making their homes look nice. They do it mainly for themselves, but they also think guys are going to notice. We’re not. We just came over to tap that. Nobody cares about the flowers you put in the vase, yadda yadda.

Make sure you look around and find something that seems to be an unique item that she selected herself and act as if you care about it. This makes her feel like you appreciate her sense of taste and not just how she tastes.

Expecting?

Finally… Whatever you do.. WHAT-EVER you do… Do *NOT* compliment a woman on being pregnant, just in case she isn’t.
–
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My first day back in the gym was Saturday, two days ago. I had meant initially to go every day after that, but I hadn’t counted on getting in as good a workout as I did that day.

I’ve always had the top-level membership to my gym, so I didn’t realize that if you have a lesser membership, there are times that you’re actually restricted from using the gym. This is FANTASTIC!!! because people that have no reason to pay more can’t even show up until like two hours after I get there.

This is useful because my workout style is similar to my socialization style, which is to do whatever I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it. I have to stop and “feel” what I need to work on next and then when I get that direction, I hop on that machine and knock it out.

So, Yeah.. Two days ago, I overdid it and I was out of commission yesterday. In fact, I didn’t want to go to the gym this morning either, but I was like “**** That! You’re Going!” and I dragged my ass to the gym.

Walked in the door, hit the scale, 177 lbs, similar to Saturday. Put in some work, drank some water, weighed in at 176. Way later, I hit the scale again, and this trainer goes “That scale’s off. You have to use the one in the locker room.” :/

I was like “Thanks a lot, dude! :D”.. Walked about 30 steps to the other scale and immediately weighed in at 170, which is what I’ve been saying this whole time.

Started out doing isolation machines this time. Last time, I concentrated on my staple machine, Weight-Assisted Dips & Pull-Ups. That’s really actually a finishing machine for me because it fills in the blanks. Anything upper-body you didn’t hit during your isolation workout is going to be stressed by doing supersets of pull-ups & dips.

Since I was just starting up again, I went straight to that machine on Saturday. This time, I started out with close-grip pulldowns. I was still pretty stressed from my last workout, so I wasn’t pulling any serious weight, but I definitely did enough to stimulate my system.

I ended up super-setting those with cable pressdowns for triceps. This is basically the same thing as doing my staple machine, but with different grips and as far as triceps, you’re rotating your forearms instead of pressing straight down for dips, so you get way more tricep isolation. The dips work a large percentage chest, depending on how far forward you lean, and I like to get my LEAN on.

Actually, I lean when I’m doing tricep pressdowns also, once I get to actual heavy weight. Back in the day, I used to push the entire stack with a 25 lb weight attached to the stack. When I felt like showing off, I’d place the pin in the lightest weight, probably ~30 lbs and get a chick that weighed around 105 lbs to stand on it while I worked out haha :D I’ll let you know if I get back to that status. ;)

After that, I did dumbbell shrugs.. Again, with relatively light weights for me, since I’m just getting back into this now. I maxed out at 60 lb dumbbells when I normally use 90s. Any heavier than that and they’re practically impossible for me to pick up off the floor and since I’m not using wrist wraps, I can’t grip them very long either.

Next was something I shouldn’t have done when I did, but it was what I felt like doing, so I did it. Decline Bench Sit-Ups. Ugh! :( I did a couple of sets of those and I felt… disconnected. I can’t really explain it, :) It’s like basically your abs are used in exercises where you don’t even know they’re working. Once I stressed them, I felt instantly less able to do other exercises, haha.

Of course, that means that I went back for several more sets during the two hours I was in the gym. :/

Eventually, I hit my weight-assisted dips/pull-ups super-sets with an embarrassing amount of weight assistance! :D

That’s one of the things about the gym. You have to get past “Pride”. You have to do what you know YOU have to do to get the workout you need to achieve the look you want. If you’re doing dips and it’s obvious to some chick that passes by that the weight stack is offsetting 90% of your bodyweight, you have to eat that. :D You won’t be very impressive to her in the gym, but when she sees you with your shirt off at the pool, she’s gonna be sweatin’ the technique! >:D

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About two weeks ago, I announced that I was going to try for 190lbs. That plan is SCRUBBED, as of yesterday, haha. It’s not going to work. :D

The first thing I did was overeat. That immediately put me to sleep for a couple of hours, so I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to sustain my productivity with this style. After that fiasco, I switched up to eating a bunch of small meals all day. This works out fine, and at this point, on a scale that I wasn’t using for my previous weight assessments, I’m a consistent 164, which is actually a perfect spot for me to hop back in the gym.

Previously, I had to work my way UP to 164 as my weight ceiling used to be 160. My metabolism’s too high for me to gain or carry extra weight. After I get over a certain level, my body just REJECTS extra pounds. The only way I’m going to be able to get even to 170 is going to be by working out and putting on more muscle mass, because anything else is going to disappear as soon as I change my eating habits.

The reason the goal of 190 is off the table is that I already feel sluggish. I’ve never been overweight in my entire life, so speed’s natural to me, or at least that’s what I’m used to. Being physically heavier gives me more energy and more aggression, but it’s weird… It’s kind of like walking through water. Things are more of a chore to do, haha. I don’t think I’m psychologically interested in that.

However, I’ve already achieved what I actually wanted. If I don’t feel aggressive, I can’t work out properly. There’s no point to it. Now, I have two goals instead of one. Goal #1 is to increase muscle mass & decrease useless weight that I’ve acquired over the last week and a half. Goal #2 is to remove this feeling of sluggishness and replace it with focus and good action. That’s another problem with my attempts to gain weight. I can only do it if I’m not in the gym. I can easily lose four pounds in one day after it took me a week to put those on, so eating more is relatively fruitless. For me, it’s really all about energy & aggression spurring on good workouts.

I’d like to say I’ve finally kicked my weight issue, but I really haven’t. What I’ve definitely kicked is doing it through food consumption! :D

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Having nothing better to do with my life, I decided about 5 minutes ago that I’m going to attempt to make myself 190 lbs… just to see how it is.

My previous weight limit was 160 lbs, but I passed that pretty easily the last time I started working out. I made it to around 163 or 165 IIRC. The last time I was serious about the gym was a week after the last post I made to my Gym category… whenever that was.

Do I think I’m going to make it? No. :D It would mean I’m putting on at least 20 lbs, assuming that I’m currently 170, which I doubt.

We’ll see what happens. I’ll keep y’all informed. ;)

~Bill

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For all of y’all that were CRYING about “Jessica Simpson & The Everlasting Gobstopper”, boo hoo hoo… It’s only right that I report that Jessica’s made a visual comeback.

She’s obviously reinstated her gym membership and put down the bon bons.

Also, like The Kid said, she shunned that gaudy, leopard-print “Look at me! I’m sucking my stomach in!” belt she wore that other time. She stuck to all black, with a completely non-obvious stomach-control area.

She also rocked that super-long necklace which focuses the eye on length rather than width or girth. Hair nice and long, adding to the effect. Heels maing her legs look longer and enhancing her calf definition. Nice work. Either her stylist has decided to earn their keep or she’s letting her boyfriend dress her.

~Bill

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