Bill Cammack

Suddenly, thanks to Tiger Woods’s speech, there’s a new word being thrown around by the pundits: “Entitlement”.

The funniest thing about this is that you can tell that they have no idea what they’re talking about when they say the word.

I mean, they understand the definition of the word, but since it’s something they’ve never had in their entire lives, they speak about it as if it’s an alien concept or as if Tiger’s suffering from delusions of grandeur.

I also understand now why they keep trying to call guys sex addicts. For people that grew up without entitlement or never achieved it in their lives, the behaviors don’t make sense.

I will now attempt to clear this up.. though I don’t expect you to understand anything I’m about to write. :D Read the rest of this entry »

Tiger Woods spoke in a press conference just now. Here’s what I got out of it:

Tiger looks good. It doesn’t look like he went through plastic surgery.

According to the written speech, he’s deeply sorry for his selfish and irresponsible behavior.

He’s not as good at reading as he is at golf.

He did better than Chris Brown did, at least.

He sounds rather robotic, like “YABBA. DABBA. DOO”.

Tiger Woods does a lot for the children of the world, and he’s dedicated to making sure that continues.

He’s reading off of a paper to express that he didn’t get jacked up by his wife, Elin.

Tiger was taught to believe in core values, but he convinced himself that normal rules didn’t apply. He never thought about who he was hurting. He thought only about himself. He thought he could get away with anything he wanted to. Read the rest of this entry »

First things First… There are Sex Addicts and there are guys that like to ****.

There are guys that like to **** several chicks consecutively or simultaneously.

There are guys that would **** all day if they could.

There are guys that would **** on a box, near a fox, or while eating Green Eggs & Ham and NOT *ONE* of these guys are ADDICTS. O_o

Somehow.. It’s become trendy that when dudes get busted doing what they like to do, they can now rely on this little automatic backup parachute that’s triggered after your main parachute fails you while you’re plummeting towards the Earth while skydiving, which is called SEX REHAB!!! :D

The Problem

Back in the day, chicks were just SOL when their man got busted cheating. \o/ If it was a politician, the chick did the Perp Walk with him to the podium and stood there like a small child that didn’t understand English while her husband admitted to The Entire World that even though he’s married to this chick next to him, he likes to “Get In where he Fit In”.

Meanwhile, dude’s pockets were SOL when she did the Eddie Murphy on him and shuffled off to Buffalo with HALF!!! :D haha That was the arrangement. Do what you can until you get busted and then you lose your main chick, probably your kids and definitely your money.

The Solution

At some point, some genius figured out that there was a way to keep the chick, kids & cash. They changed the response for “How come you did XYZ with that chick?” from “I felt like it” or “That’s what I do” or “She was there” to “I’m addicted to women?.. and I need… HELP?” Read the rest of this entry »

I met this gal a couple of weeks ago who told me she could hear what other people think.

I don’t know enough about life to say that this is impossible, but I can say in her “defense” that *I* can feel what other people are feeling, which is one of the things that makes The Kid so effective with the ladies, heh heh :D so actually hearing things people aren’t saying isn’t so far off from detecting emotions from people that aren’t telling you how they’re feeling.

However, for the purpose of this article, let’s assume that’s an actual talent that your girlfriend had… HOW. MUCH. WOULD. THAT. *SUUUUUUUUCK*??? :D Read the rest of this entry »

* The text below is the beginning of the video. If you can’t see the video embedded on this page, click here to watch “Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)” on YouTube. *

Big Willie Pockets

Alright, y’all. New in November, 2009. Today is November 4th and what we’re going to do today is we’re going to talk about Safe Sex, but we’re going to get into some more interesting topics than what you normally hear about.

Now.. Let’s say you’re chillin’, right, so here’s you, you’re hangin’ out. You’re having a good time. You’re Big Willie, You’ve got the big pockets, right? The big BIG pockets. DEEP POCKETS, Money for days…

Now, you’re chillin’ you go to the club and you meet a chick, right? So she’s smiling, like everything’s groovy, so you’re feeling like everything’s groovy too. So you decide, unfortunately for you, not to use safe sex, right? So, next thing you know, BOOM.. waah, waah… there goes like, little kid, you know what I’m saying?

Now, the problem is, here, that first of all, I mean you’re just hoping she’s a cool person, she’s nice and all that stuff, but the problem is, here.. that THESE are now going to get diminished, right? So now we’re going to go get our eraser for your Big Willie pockets, and we’re gonna do this, you know what I’m saying? So NOW, Your pockets look, you know, more like this.. It’s like half of the Big Willie…

Click here to watch the rest of “Safe Sex Tutorial (Big Willie Pockets)” on YouTube.

~ Bill Cammack | @BillCammack

I’m not into buying women. I wouldn’t pay a chick one thin dime to spend time with me. Not a dime. I wouldn’t give her a dirty penny that I spotted on the floor and picked up. This is because I know the difference between how it feels to have a gal want to spend time WITH ME vs having a gal around that’s trying to use me to fulfill some type of agenda.

This is why I don’t spend any money in strip clubs. It doesn’t mean anything to me for some chick to spread her legs because I handed her some American currency. *yawn*

It doesn’t mean anything to me for some chick to attempt to pretend to like me. It doesn’t mean anything to me for some chick to pretend she’s sexually attracted to me. This is because I have the real thing, all the time. Read the rest of this entry »

So the other day, I heard that Tiger Woods crashed his car and he was being treated for injuries. Once I heard the injuries weren’t career-threatening, I didn’t pay any more attention to the story. I read that he was in his car BY HIMSELF when he crashed and that his wife broke one of the car windows with a golf club to get him out. So what? Big deal.

Tiger Woods vs. Chris Brown

So now, readers Stephanie, Priscilla & Frank have pointed out to me that the internet’s buzzing with rumors that this-and-that happened, so I decided to see what the tabloids were talking about. Interestingly enough, it’s amazingly similar to the Chris Brown situation a few months ago:

1) Chick feels like she has exclusive access to a guy.
2) Chick supposedly receives information that her man was kickin’ it with some other chick.
3) Chick gets upset about it.
4) Chick wigs out and it gets physical.

This is where these tabloid stories part ways: Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve had to cover for our boy so he doesn’t get caught by his girlfriend/fiancee/wife cheating. Well.. If not “HAD TO”, we’ve all had it REQUESTED of us, and “the right thing to do” is hook your boy up and take one for the team.

Larry David’s had to do this several times by now for his homeboy/manager Jeff in his show “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, and after what I watched last night, I had to write about this stuff hahaha. Sorry cheaters… There comes a point where ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and you’re gonna have to get cut loose to sink or swim on your own.

I first became aware of this problem a long time ago. I searched for the episode reference, but couldn’t find it. I believe it was in season 01, and now, they’re in season 07. Anyway… Oh man, I was rollin’ off of this one! :D

Larry and his boy live in California. They travel 3,000 miles away, to New York City and while they’re there, Larry’s boy Jeff hooks up with some chick. At the time, Jeff was married and so was Larry, so, realistically, Jeff shouldn’t have asked Larry to cover for him at all, being that they would have been taking similar risks getting caught hanging out with some chick that wasn’t their wives.

The Problem

So Jeff’s finished doin’ the do, and he asks his boy Larry for a favor, namely to make sure the chick Jeff just hooked up with gets wherever she needs to go safely (You don’t gotsta go home……. but you GOTSTA GET *THE* *HELL* OUT OF *HERE*!!! :D). Larry naively accepts this assignment and decides he’s going to walk this girl across Central Park to wherever she has to go. As soon as I saw this, I was like “Oh Boy… HERE. WE. GO!!!”. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not a fan of labeling relationships because the label doesn’t indicate or describe the functionality of the relationship. Similarly, the LACK of a label doesn’t indicate a lack of functionality between individuals. Therefore, the label itself is almost entirely useless.

I was watching this movie the other day, and this guy’s trying to get to know this new chick. He explains something about himself to her and she says “Oh.. You’re one of those [X] guys”. His response is “I don’t really, uh, subscribe to any label”.

When I heard that, I realized that that’s what I should have been saying all along. I mean, I’ve BEEN saying that forever, but I haven’t stressed it enough, since I’ve been attempting to inform the average Joe/Josephine about what my life is like. It’s just not as easy as I thought it would be. Things that make perfect sense to me don’t make sense to other people. Things that work for me don’t work for other people. I’ve attempted to explain something that I’ve now decided I just can’t explain. I just have to be thankful for the situation and keep it movin’. :D

Labels

Labels are only as relevant as the people that are willing to adhere to them.. meaning that basically, they’re completely useless. Read the rest of this entry »

My ex and I had a superbly, fantastically EXCELLENT relationship for approximately four years… She would lie to me, and I would catch her lying. :D

I’m sure that doesn’t sound excellent to *you*, but it was for me. The fact that she was constantly lying meant that she was constantly trying to get over on me. It meant that she was going ALL OUT to get her way in situations. I admire and respect that, and I’m the same way. I want to WIN. I like being around people that WANT TO WIN and are willing to do whatever they have to do to achieve their goals.

What’s good about liars?

The fantastic part about this is that I kept experiencing instances where I could collect data about how she acts, sounds and looks when she’s telling the truth and when she isn’t. Eventually, maybe one year into our relationship, well, let’s say the ‘romantic’ part of our relationship, since we’re still close, to this very day… I had learned her behaviors so well that I could tell by her breathing patterns how she felt about things. There was this little “catch” in her breathing that would occur when she stopped “being” and started “thinking”. It was like Keanu seeing the double-cat in The Matrix. I knew that whatever I was about to get was something she was crafting or making up as opposed to something that she was naturally giving me, from her heart & soul. Read the rest of this entry »