Bill Cammack » wife

How To Deny Allegations

Bill Cammack — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:02:57 +0000

I was in Brooklyn Friday night. That means that I wasn’t in, say.. Zimbabwe, Africa.

If someone hires Gloria Allred to say “Bill Cammack was in Zimbabwe Friday night! :O”, I’ll probably ignore it completely.

If I elect to speak on it, I’m going to say “No.. In fact, I was not in Zimbabwe Friday night.”, and that’s going to be the end of it.

The truth of the matter is my “defense”. I don’t have to get personal about it.

I don’t have to say “THAT ***** IS A LYING-ASS *****!!! :O” and talk about her finances, her relationship status, or anything else about the accuser.

I don’t have to make elaborate gestures, like producing passports that aren’t stamped “Zimbabwe”.

I don’t have to hire Africans to say that they’ve never seen me in Africa in their entire lives.

I don’t have to do anything, in fact, because I wasn’t *in* Zimbabwe, and for someone to say that I was, it’s a waste of their time.

So, The proper reply to “Bill was in Zimbabwe” is “No, I was not”.

The *IMPROPER* reply to “You were in Zimbabwe” is “You can’t PROVE that I was in Zimbabwe! :O”

Does that make sense?

OBVIOUSLY, there’s no proof that I was in Zimbabwe, because I’ve never been to Africa AT ALL in my entire life.

I’ve barely even watched television shows about Africa.

Why would I bring up the fact that you can’t prove something that I know you can’t prove, because it never happened? o_O

Why would I say “The chick that says I was in Zimbabwe last night is broke and can’t pay her bills”?

Why would I say “The chick that says I was in Zimbabwe last night filed sexual harassment charges at her other job, too”?

Why would I ask a reporter “Have *YOU* ever been accused of being in Zimbabwe? o_O”?

These are things that you say when there’s actually A POSSIBILITY that the story is true.”

So, if you’re going to call a press conference and mention things that people claim you said or did, all you have to do is call them “False Allegations”. If you also call them “Unproven Allegations”, you’re leaving the door open that they MIGHT have been proven, if, say.. there weren’t legally-binding restrictions on the women telling their side of the story to the press, or if you know that the last time you tapped your side-piece’s ass was several months ago and she’s not currently pregnant, so there’s no proof that you ever hit it during your 13-year, extramarital friendship with her.

As a bonus tip.. It doesn’t matter who snitched on you.

If people believe you were in Zimbabwe, accusing a competitor of spreading the rumor isn’t going to make your denial any more credible.

So.. Again.. The way to deny allegations is to deny them.

Just say it isn’t true and keep steppin’.

If you keep yammering about proof and snitches and conspiracies, you appear unnecessarily defensive, which makes you look MORE GUILTY, not less.
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Appreciate Your Girlfriend

Bill Cammack — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:33:57 +0000

Appreciating your girlfriend is one of the best things you can do to keep your relationship fresh, interesting, and exciting. :D

All too often, we completely ignore or just plain fail to acknowledge “the little things” that our gals do for us that make our lives so much better.

Sure.. We make sure she “gets hers”, but other than that, what are we really doing for the special women in our lives? o_O

How about next time she cooks you that fantastic meal, which she also planned out and shopped for during her free time after she finished working all day, you pick up a sponge and gladly do the family dishes?

How about next time you pass that store, and see a pair of jeans on display that will make your girl look particularly fat-assed and delectable, you roll right in there and buy them for her?

billcammack.com/2008/06/26/how-to-dress-your-girlfriend/

Photo Credit: six4eleven.com

How about next time, instead of inviting her to come see Conan The Barbarian with you in the theater, you ask her which boring-ass chick flick you can suffer through for her sole benefit?

How about next time SHE wants to go out with her girlfriends, you don’t call the act of staying at home with your own biological child you had with her “babysitting”?

How about next time, instead of falling dead asleep after the fact, you take one for the team and force yourself to cuddle with her?

Yes.. I realize that you’re only dating her for sex and entertainment, but there’s so much more you can do to make her experience exciting and worthwhile in the meantime.

Turn your brain off. Think to yourself “If I were a chick, what would I want to do right now? o_O” and then go with the flow.

Go shopping with her at the mall. Just make sure you don’t end up on the bench with the Health-Tex-Wearing husbands whose wives have dressed them up as little kids to ensure that they never get sex from a female other than them ever again in life.

Take that walk with her through Central Park when you’d rather watch that football game that’s more important to you than she is right now.

Go antique-shopping with her when you don’t give a flying **** about old-ass furniture.

Take her out for that lavish Italian meal instead of taking her on dates to the gym so she can work out and stay in the type of shape you enjoy.

Spend the day with her at her Grandmother’s house with the rest of her family in attendence, playing it off like you’re not hooking up with her every hour that you’re physically awake…

Pretending that you’re not hooking up with your girlfriend, *NOT* pretending that you’re not hooking up with her Grandmother…

I mean.. If you *ARE* hooking up with her Grandmother, you want to play that off too, but, um….

Anyway… It’ll all be worth it. I guarantee you. The happier you make her, the happier she’ll make you.

So, Fellaz!!!… Pick up that sponge and grin your way into a fantastic and ultimately fulfilling relationship! >:D
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That’s Your Man’s Problem

Bill Cammack — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 10:24:46 +0000

I just watched this Paul Newman film that was released in 1967, called “Hombre”.

Skipping past the race-relation value of the film, while I was watching it, I was amazed (yet, not) about what they were asking Paul Newman’s character to do in the situation they were in.

Basically, some guy stole money from the people that raised Paul Newman’s character, like in a significant amount that it endangered their lives. This guy had that money and his wife on a stagecoach that Paul Newman happened to be on.

The stagecoach got robbed, and criminals stole the money from the dude that had stolen it from the people. They also took the dude’s wife.

Paul Newman got the money back that belonged to his people, but the criminals still had some other dude’s wife.

They sent one of the criminals to negotiate, who basically said (it was a Western, and they were in the desert) “Give us the money and give us your water, and we’ll give you some other guy’s wife back… If you don’t give us the money and water, we’ll kill the woman.”

Paul Newman’s reply was basically “**** you. Shoot her.”

A conversation ensued, after the criminal returned to his posse to relay the message, where this woman that was also on the stagecoach with them asked him something like “Money is more valuable to you than a woman’s life?”

I understood what she was saying, but she wasn’t looking at the big picture.

Focus On The Facts

The money in the saddlebags was going BACK to the people that it had been STOLEN FROM, who were ALL in danger of losing their lives because they weren’t going to be able to buy food or supplies in the wild west. Paul Newman was carrying ALL OF THEIR LIVES on his shoulder in those saddlebags.

What she didn’t want to address was that the people that Paul Newman was trying to save were equally valuable to the one female that he was NOT going to save by giving away those people’s money.

She also didn’t want to address the fact that the money had been STOLEN by the captive woman’s husband in the first place, which was why they were in that predicament.

She also didn’t want to address the fact that if Paul Newman hadn’t shot two of the robbers, their posse would have gotten away with the money AND the woman, AND left them in the desert with no water or horses, presumably to die of thirst.

Most importantly, and the focus of this article, is that NOBODY in the entire film wanted to address the fact that this was NOT. PAUL. NEWMAN’S. WOMAN.

Regardless of what happened to her, his life wasn’t going to be any different.

If he gave the money away, he saves some nobody’s life, so she can go off with her husband and do God knows what, to ZERO benefit to Paul Newman.

If he keeps the money, he gets to save the lives of the people that raised him.. A LOT of the people that raised, him, not just one person.

This is clearly a no-brainer… “**** you. Shoot her.”

Meanwhile (which is relevant to my eventual point), the husband tries to get slick.

Even though the criminals have his wife, and the money and water are their only bargaining chips, he gets the drop on everybody BUT Paul Newman and orders them to give him the money and the water because he’s breaking north (leaving).

Of course, he gets caught by Paul Newman, who offers him a 1-on-1 shootout, which this ***** of course, declines. He’s made to leave the money, leave the water, and LEAVE! :D hahaha SEEYA!

Now… Here comes the same chick, asking Paul Newman questions about “How do you expect him to live in the desert without any water? :O”

Another stupid question, because he was about to leave YOU, ME and all the rest of us HERE without ANY bargaining chips against the criminals, INCLUDING water, so **** him.

The husband ends up rejoining the group, and they’re trapped in a house with the criminals surrounding them and once again attempting to use this guy’s wife to barter for the money.

The robbers decide that it would be a good idea to take this guy’s wife to an open area and leave her there, tied to a tree stump or something, in the desert heat, with no water, until someone came down from the house and traded them the money and water for her life.

That’s Your Man’s Problem

This sparked a new round of conversation about “How can you NOT trade some MONEY away for a PERSON’S life? :O”

Now.. This conversation didn’t go the way it was supposed to go, and I understand why it didn’t, for the general welfare.

The back-story to this situation was that the people that had been robbed were “Indians” (which, of course, nobody’s an Indian here because this isn’t India and Christoper Columbus was LOST! :/), and Paul Newman was white, but had been raised by the Indians that had been robbed by the husband that was cold chillin’ in the house, safe, with everybody except his wife.

Therefore.. In 1967, it was important to get the point across to the movie-goers that people raised by Indians are taught proper morals and will do the right thing when the situation calls for it, and “Indians are people, just like us.”

So, I understand, artistically, why the proper conversation never occurred in “Hombre”, and I’m glad they wrote the script that way, and I’m sure a lot of people learned something from it, but here’s how the conversation would have actually gone:

Chick: You’re just going to leave her out there to die, instead of giving away the money that will save the people that sustained your life to this very day? :O

Paul Newman: There goes her husband right thurrr.. Let *THAT* mother****** go get her.

It was the husband’s fault that he stole the money. It was the husband’s fault that he brought it on a stagecoach. It was the husband’s fault that he brought HIS WIFE with him while transporting his stolen money. It was the husband who tried to leave with the money and water while holding the rest of the group at gunpoint. It was the husband that NEVER. *******. VOLUNTEERED to go save his own ******* WIFE when the criminals put her out on display to quickly die of dehydration.

THAT’S the bottom line of the discussion. I didn’t steal the money from the Indians.. HE did. If I hadn’t shot those two dudes, the money and water would be gone, so now, they’re both *MY* property and the money will be returned to the people from whom it was stolen, because I say so. This husband-dude put his own wife in danger by bringing her along with him during a criminal enterprise. He got her into this, so now it’s up to him to get her out of it. Period.

Of course, since they needed to prove a point for race relations in 1967, Paul Newman goes to save some other guy’s wife, gets in a gunfight with the criminals, kills both of them and dies in the process, thus proving that Indians can raise a white guy to have morals and compassion. Fortunately, he had already told this other dude in the group to return the money to the Indians, so we can assume he didn’t die for nothing and that they got their money back.

I personally found this situation amazing. I was like *WHEN* are these people going to complain to the thieving, flat-leaving husband that *HE* hasn’t lifted a finger to try to save his own wife, who’s currently tied to a log right there in front of his eyes? o_O

They didn’t even bother to film one single frame of that dude showing ANY concern for his wife’s situation or well-being. Not. One. Frame… They showed him caring about getting away with the money, though.

Real-World Application

Fast-Forwarding to the year 2011 AD, I still find it funny that people expect people with no vested interest in a situation to act more responsibly than people that are directly connected to and/or affected by that situation.

Let’s look at “cheating”, for instance… I find it completely amazing that a gal will be in a relationship with a guy, he hooks up with some other chick, and the girlfriend gets mad at…. drumoll… THE. OTHER. CHICK! :D hahaha That’s SOOOO STUPID! :D

First of all, that other chick didn’t make any agreements with you.. Your man did.

*HE’S* the one that swore up and down on a stack of bibles that he wasn’t going to hook up with anybody except you when you agreed to date him or marry him or become FWB or whatever… Shouldn’t you be mad AT HIM instead of some random chick that met a guy that may or may not have said he’s in a relationship before they got busy?

Why are you expecting someone with ZERO vested interest in your personal happiness to support your relationship? o_O .. How about the person that told you to your face that he was going to be ‘faithful’ to you?

I’m completely amazed. Don’t ask Paul Newman to go save somebody else’s wife.. That’s. Her. Man’s. Problem.

Her husband/boyfriend/whatever is the one that took on the responsibility for her well-being. She aligned herself WITH HIM for whatever reasons she had at the time. If she wanted to be under Paul Newman’s protection, she should have hooked up WITH HIM, but noooooo. :D

So, don’t expect other women to support YOUR relationship to some dude.. Especially women you don’t even know. That’s. Your. Man’s. Problem. He’s the one that signed the exclusive-sex contract with you, so if he hooks up with some other chick, take it up WITH HIM, not WITH HER.

This also applies to the club.

If you’re broke and you can’t afford to buy a drink, that’s YOUR MAN’S problem! :D

You’re providing value to him, so he needs to be providing value to you.

Random dudes that you don’t know from Adam and that you’re not hooking up with have no obligation to get you drunk offa their hard-earned money.

You can call them cheap or whatever, but it’s not THEM that’s begging.. it’s *YOU*!!! :D

If you want a drink at the restaurant, bring your money or offer to wash some dishes for them to earn your keep. If you can’t afford it and don’t feel like working, tell YOUR MAN that you’d like to party beyond your financial means and get HIM to hook you up.

Good For The Gander

Of course, the same advice goes for the fellaz.

If you make a deal with some chick and then she gives it up to the next man, get mad AT HER, not at him, because he didn’t promise you jack-**** as far as not screwing your woman. SHE promised you that she wouldn’t hook up with other guys, so talk to her about your breach of contract issues.

Also.. If you’re one of those guys that plays up to less-attractive women at the club to get them to buy you drinks for free, then you just might have to play your position and actually hook up with her if that’s how you’re livin’! :D haha You might have to put in some work or stay sober.. your choice! >:D

Off The Market

A lot of women run into this issue when they change their classification from “single” to “in a relationship”. They don’t become aware until after the fact that the only reason certain guys were doing things for them is that they were currently FWB or at least in the running to get some in the near future.

Once she selects a guy and claims she’s only going to hook up with him, some of her so-called “friends” become immediately unavailable.

If she needs to change a light bulb, she needs to tell HER MAN to do that for her. That’s HIS responsibility. Nobody else cares if she sits around in the dark.

If she had a bad day?.. Save it for David. That’s HER MAN’S JOB to listen to that stuff.

If she needs to get some…. well…. a brotha Might Could see what he can do about that! >:D

But Anyway… I think people need to focus more on the alliances and affiliations they make, so they have a more realistic understanding of what’s going to happen when they ask someone to do something for them.

In “Hombre” (putting aside the race-relations subtext of the script), the choice was clear.. One chick doesn’t get shot by dudes that shouldn’t shoot her anyway, or A LOT OF PEOPLE that raised Paul Newman’s character starve and die because that chick’s husband robbed them.

Real-World no-brainer.. “**** you. She’s nothing to me. Shoot her.”

As far as the conversation in the house? Another no-brainer.. “There goes her husband right there. Tell that ***** to go get his wife, whom he dragged into this situation in the first place by robbing people and then inviting her on the stagecoach with him as he was transporting the money, and whom he tried to flat-leave by breaking north with the money and the water when he knew damned well that the criminals were holding her hostage. I’ll cover him from here with the rifle.”

As far as women trying to juice guys for drinks at the bar, if you’re cold lampin’ with no visible means of purchasing anything, I hope you have a bus pass stashed somewhere on your person, because whether you get drunk right now or have to walk home later tonight… That’s YOUR MAN’S Problem! >:D
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Weiner Fesses Up

Bill Cammack — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 10:30:12 +0000

Anthony Weiner fessed up in a press conference about his role in the recent scandal that the internet’s been buzzing about:

Direct Link => http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43301263#43301263

It would take me longer than it’s worth to figure out a coherent storyline for this article, so I’m just going to write about my experience with and thoughts about this situation.

I heard about it several days ago. Some politician was alleged to have sent a picture of tha dilznick to some chick on Twitter.

*yawn*

I immediately didn’t care, but it kept coming up on Facebook, so I checked a little more into the information.

Turns out that this dude supposedly sent the picture over public twitter to some chick… Sure… That’s likely. :/

Turns out that the person who reported it is a conspiracy theorist… Sure.. He’s credible. :/

So.. Not knowing anything about anybody involved in this situation (I’ve never heard of Anthony Weiner before whenever this scandal started), I assumed it was a setup, and an extremely poor one at that.

In fact.. This very issue came up Thursday night when I was chillin’ with some friends after the blip.tv party.

Almost verbatim, here’s what I had to say about it:

I think this is a setup. I don’t believe it. The concept is so stupid. I mean.. Think about it.. Whomever set this up doesn’t understand how the internet works.

Why in the hell would some dude send a picture to a chick over PUBLIC TWITTER when he could have DM’ed it to her, sent it to her privately on Facebook, texted it to her phone, I mean there are myriad ways he could have sent this thing, but whomever set him up decided that they were going to make it look like he sent it over public twitter?

The idea is stupid and the setup sucked.

HAHAHAHA However… I also told my friends *THIS* last Thursday, five days before Weiner fessed up:

The only thing that bothers me about this situation… THE *ONLY* THING that bothers me about it..

is that he refuses to say that that’s NOT a picture of him or that it IS a picture of him.

He knows damned ******* well whether he wears underwear like that or not. If he doesn’t, he should be able to say “That’s not me”.

(if you’re interested in how obvious the picture is, click here => static1.businessinsider.com/image/4de26913cadcbb2f38270000/weiners-weiner.png)

On top of that.. If he *DOES* wear underwear like that, he should know damned well whether he took a picture of himself in it. If he didn’t.. he should be able to say “That’s not me”.

So, my stance last Thursday night was that I didn’t know anything about the guy to believe him or not believe him, but the setup sucked so badly that I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

His excuse at the time was that he had been twittering and then… Yes.. Twittering. The word “Tweet” was made up by people after the fact. If the individual posts were Tweets, the service would be called TWEETER, you idiots.

His excuse at the time was that he had been twittering and then he happened to notice a post that he didn’t create appear in his timeline as if it came from him, which was this pic of tha dilznick, and he immediately deleted it and kept twittering.

He also claimed that his Facebook account had been hacked recently and he was looking into the security issues, blah blah blah.

These excuses work fine for drones that don’t understand how the internet works.

Let me tell you how the internet works.

If you don’t create media, there *IS* no media. Capisce? >:D

Weiner’s refusal to say whether that’s a picture of him or not indicates to anyone worth their salt in Social Media that He. Takes. Pictures. Of. Himself. In. Underwear.

Here’s an example… I’m 5’9″. I have never dunked a basketball on a regulation hoop in my entire life. Never. I never have, and I never will. Not without assistance or stepping on someone’s back and propelling myself to the hoop.

To make matters worse, I don’t even PLAY basketball. I play hockey.

So I can guarantee you.. 100%.. immediately.. without blinking an eye, that there are ZERO authentic pictures of The Kid dunking a basketball on a regulation hoop anywhere in existence in the entire universe, because a) I’ve never done it, and b) the only times I’ve dunked a basketball EVAR is on way shorter hoops, and nobody was taking pictures at the time, and I most certainly didn’t pose for any.

So, some dude saying “I can’t say for sure whether that’s a picture of my underwear and my leg or not” indicates clearly to me that a) he’s taken pictures of himself like that, b) he’s taken pictures in that set of underwear, c) he’s taken pictures of himself from that angle, and d) he knows all these things, so he’s waiting to see whether he can get over or not, and the only issue is “Did he send this picture out over public Twitter or not? o_O”

So, Fast-Forward to today, and I’m watching this video of Weiner’s confession that I posted above, and this is what dude has to say for himself:

Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as a part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I had posted it to Twitter, I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked.

This is where I started searching for slapping-forehead smileys like these =>

Like I said before.. I was already sure that it was a picture of him by his lack of absolute denial. The only question I had was *HOW* that picture got in his public Twitter stream, and now we know.. Weiner *FAILED* to mark it as a direct message, and it went to EVERYBODY instead of just that one chick.

What’s even more pathetic about this situation is that there’s a popular commercial that was recently released (before the scandal) where this dude tells his boy that instead of replying to him in an email, he accidentally clicked “Reply All”, and had sent it to the whole company, and the rest of the commercial is spent with that guy running all over creation stealing computers and smartphones from coworkers so they don’t see what he accidentally sent to them.

Life Imitates Art.

So I’m like “oh.. He just ****** up. \o/”. No conspiracy theory. No setup. He just ****** up managing his social media presence.

Oh well. :D hahaha In fact, the conversation Thursday night included considering a brilliant scheme to publicize him as a politician.

I counted that as a possibility because I had never heard of Andrew Weiner before a couple of weeks ago or whenever this story broke, and a fake leaking of a fake picture that could easily be explained away after the publicity wears off is a pretty good use of today’s social media outlets.

Nope… He blew it, and now he’s at the podium crying about something I can’t figure out. What’s he crying for? o_O

He wasn’t crying when he was sending pictures of tha dilznick to random chicks behind his wife’s back. :D

What is it with these people?.. I just finished writing about Arnold Schwarzenegger tappin’ the maid to the point that he popped a kid out of her that arrived a week apart from when his own wife had a kid, and then 14 years later, he goes “Sorry”.

Three years ago, I wrote about Political Sex Scandals in general.

Why are y’all crying NOW? o_O .. Why are y’all (fortunately, Weiner didn’t do this) making your wives take the Perp Walk with you to the podium in a show of solidarity and “I’m sticking by my man even though he did XYZ”?

You didn’t invite your wives to the action, so leave them out of your press conferences.

So let’s take a look at my favorite highlights from Weiner’s confessional press conference:

Weiner [00:30]: Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as a part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I had posted it to Twitter, I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked.

First of all.. What kind of joke involves a picture of tha dilznick? :D hahaha If you would have sent that picture to a dude, you might could have gotten punched in your ******* face, so what kind of a joke would it have been after that? o_O

If you’re going to fess up, fess up all the way. There isn’t any “joke” here. You were flirting with a chick, including sending her pictures of yourself. It’s too late to half-step on your confession. You’re not going to look any more proper by claiming that you joke around with women by sending them pictures of your body parts. In fact, you’re going to look dumber, so just admit that you were kickin’ it with her and you got stimulation out of it so we can move on.

Second.. Why in the **** are you flirting with chicks on public social media outlets when you have a wife? :D .. At least Tiger Woods got caught TRYING to be sneaky.

I mean, I realize that Weiner THOUGHT he was sending it to her via DM, but C’MON, SUNN! :/ get another ******* account for that. Jeez. :/

Third.. If you don’t know anything about social media, consult with people who do BEFORE you make even more of an ass out of yourself by coming up with excuses that you can’t sustain.

I watched him being interviewed by Rachel Maddow (watch the bottom video for the episode I saw).

While the conversation was going on and he was saying he was being pranked, I was like “ok then.. This must *NOT* be a picture of him at all, because how in the world would someone get a picture of him to FAKE Twittering to some chick if he never took a picture like that of himself ever in life?”

4 minutes into the video, Rachel says “Because you haven’t answered a question about whether the photo is you or not, you realize that everybody now thinks the photo IS you, and so where there’s smoke, there’s fire, there must be a real scandal here, you must have been doing something creepy here.. Let me ask you whether or not you want to answer that question, and then let me ask you what the answer to it is”. This is where I sat forward and was waiting for Weiner to IMMEDIATELY say “Nope, that’s not me”. Instead, he says “We don’t know for sure. The photograph doesn’t look familiar to me”.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… Wrong Answer.

That’s your leg or it isn’t. You own underwear like that or you don’t. You took a picture of yourself in underwear or you didn’t. It’s available in digital form or it isn’t.

0 or 1. There’s no “in between” here.

As SOON as he wouldn’t deny that he’s in the picture, I was sure that it WAS a picture of him and he had been coached to not deny it because if the truth was ever found out, he’d look like more of a liar than he already made himself out to be.

That was good coaching, but too little, too late.

Weiner [01:00]: I’m deeply sorry for the pain this has caused my wife and our family.

Yeah. That’s cute, but what pain is that, exactly? o_O

This dude (according to what he says NOW) hasn’t even been in the same room with chicks he’s been flirting with on the internet. No physical contact. He hasn’t had sex with ANYBODY other than his wife. What’s the problem here?

In fact, I think he did more damage to himself and people that love and support him by coming up with weak, unsupportable lies about being framed.

Imagine Arnold being like “Well.. You see… What had *HAPPENED* WAS… I was in this movie about myself being cloned, right.. and someone took advantage of that and swabbed my DNA from a glass when I was at a restaurant and created a clone of me with my housekeeper, 14 years ago, and…”

C’mon, Sunn! :/ .. If you’re busted, you’re busted. If you **** up and send a picture of tha dilznick over public Twitter, you have to realize that there are people that follow you by RSS, meaning that whatever you send out, regardless of how quickly you delete it, may very well have been emailed to them and be sitting there in their inbox, hours, days or weeks after you delete it… Once you press “send”, you’re toast. If you don’t know even that much, you need to stay out of social media, entirely.

A couple of years ago, this chick Twittered that some dude in a live stream was ugly. She found out a few minutes later that he was a social media bigwig and tried to delete the post. Unfortunately, it had already been archived by TweetScan, and my friends and I had a FIELD DAY, looking at what she actually said about the dude and then all the ass-kissing she did after the fact, trying to backpedal out of the situation after she had unsuccessfully deleted her authentic opinion about his looks.

Weiner [01:14]: In addition, over the past few years, I have engaged in several inappropriate conversations conducted over Twitter, Facebook, email and occasionally over the phone with women I have met online. I have exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years. For the most part, these communications took place before my marriage, though some have sadly taken place after. To be clear, I have never met any of these women or had physical relationships at any time.

Inappropriate conversations? :D .. When did he agree not to flirt with women?

Has anybody ever agreed not to flirt with women? Is that written into marriage vows? o_O

What is this guy crying about?

He’s admitting in public that he’s never physically met ANY of the chicks he’s been sending pictures to, so what’s the problem?

He hasn’t broken any of his marriage vows. He hasn’t broken any laws. According to his information, all the women he’s been kickin’ it with are GROWN-ASS WOMEN over the age of consent in New York… hmm.. Well.. Since I don’t know where these chicks are from, I should just say that according to his statement, all of the chicks have been over legal consensual sexual age in their respective states… Which doesn’t matter because he hasn’t had sex with any of them.

The funniest thing about this situation is that he destroyed his credibility way more by LYING ABOUT IT AFTER THE FACT than he did by accidentally posting the picture to public Twitter.

Weiner [02:45]: I have made it clear that I accept responsibility for this, and people who draw conclusions about me are free to do so. I’ve worked for the people of my district for 13 years, and politics for 20 years, and I hope that they see fit to see this in the light that it is, which is a deeply regrettable mistake.

THIS was flavor! :D .. PROPS to Anthony Weiner for saying that. That’s the real deal, right thurrr.

“I messed up. Hopefully, y’all can get past this and remember/recognize that I’ve been doing right by y’all in MY. ACTUAL. JOB. for the last 13 years. If you want to hate on me for sending pics to chicks of tha dilznick, I respect your decision to hate on me.”

That’s respectable, as far as I’m concerned. It’s not “Please look past this”, but rather that he realizes that his getting busted is going to alienate some people, and if they can’t get over it, he respects their decision to jump ship when election time rolls around.

That’s what he should have said from the giddyap.

Some drone reporter asks “Why would you do this after you’re married?.. You know it’s wrong…”

Weiner [03:45]: You know, I… I don’t know what I was thinking. This was a destructive thing to do. I’m apologetic for doing it. It was deeply, deeply hurtful to the people that I care about the most. um.. It was something that I did that was just wrong.. and I regret it.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ… Wrong Answer! :D

This is what I was talking about in my article “Sex Addiction Therapy & Rehab?”

This is a bullshit lie.

It may never cease to amaze me that guys are scared to ******* DEATH to say “I’m a guy. I like chicks. I kicked it to her because I felt like it.”

That’s the answer to that question. “Yeah, I’m married. Yeah, I like chicks. Yeah, I flirt with them on the internet. Next question?”

What’s even worse is that these drones keep falling for these excuses over and over. “oh.. There must be something wrong with him! :O”.. “oh.. He must be addicted to internet porno! :O”. Sorry. The fact is that some guys aren’t only attracted to their wives and they act on their personal interests. It’s no ******* major Scooby-Doo mystery.

“I don’t know what I was thinking”… “I sent a picture of tha dilznick to some chick in Seattle as a joke”… Who falls for this stuff? \o/

“I did it. I was kickin’ it with her. I tried to send it as a DM but ****** up. Hopefully, you’ll still vote for me in the next election.”

Some reporter: “Where is your wife?”

Weiner: She’s not here.

hahahahahahaha I loved that answer. :D

Mind your ******* business. My wife is wherever she happens to be, which is where she always is.

People are too used to politicians making their wives do the Perp Walk with them and stand next to them at a podium looking like absolute IDIOTS while their husbands tell the world about how they were playing them out behind their backs.

Thank you, Weiner, for not subjecting your wife to this idiocy.

These dudes do all this action behind their wives’ backs, so why in the hell should the chicks have to be there for the mea culpa press conference?

You know… I originally intended to comment on the entire video, but it’s 27 minutes long and I just don’t care anymore. :D

If you care, go watch it => http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43301263#43301263

The bottom line is that Anthony Weiner didn’t have sex with *any* chicks outside of his marriage. He didn’t commit *one* single crime. As far as he knows (and nobody’s stepped forward to say otherwise), all the chicks he’s been flirting with on the internet are of legal age anywhere in the United States of America.

There’s no story here.

There’s a lesson, though…

The internet is fire. If you play with it, you might get burned. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you betta ASK SOMEBODY or ca-hall Tyrone.

If you insist on doing things on the internet that you don’t want to become a part of the public record, you need to implement your Mea Culpa / Perp Walk strategy BEFORE you start doing it, not AFTER you get caught.

I mean.. Think about it… What would have happened if Weiner had successfully sent this picture to the chick in Seattle and then she would have decided to forward it to her girlfriends or her boyfriend found it (if she has one), or any number of a gazillion other things would have happened?

We’re talking about *WHEN* something’s going to go wrong, not *IF*.

Arnold was screwing the help, popped a kid out of her, concealed it from his wife for 14 years, and *WEINER’S* at the podium crying because he sent pictures and text messages to women he’s never physically been in the same room with?

What’s the matter with you people? o_O
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Why Married Men Have Sex With The Hired Help

Bill Cammack — Tue, 24 May 2011 09:14:05 +0000

By now, you’ve heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger was banging the hired help while he was married and having kids with his wife.

For some people, this was a surprise. I suppose they never read my 2008 article “Political Sex Scandals”.

I suppose they also never saw this video of Schwarzenegger in Brazil back in the day:

YouTube link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uerFZ2Z42nc

Does this look like a dude that’s interested in one female?… Nope.

It’s All In The Game

Anyway… I didn’t have much to say about this topic because it’s so basic that I couldn’t get a grip on only ONE topic that I wanted to talk about.

When it comes to dating, there are only three types of guys:

Guys that are looking for one girl to settle down with.
Guys that are willing to FAKE looking for one girl so they can get laid.
Guys that will tell you to your face that they’re not going to be exclusive with you and you can kick rocks if you don’t like it.

So.. When I hear that some dude has a teenage kid with his hired help, my two reactions are, a) “Sucks to be you.. Should have used a condom.”, and b) “**** it. He’s rich. He can afford Child Support payments”.

Also, when I hear that the hired help’s kid is the same age as his wife’s youngest kid, I’m like “Welp… Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy.”

So.. Obviously, I have no problems at all with dudes screwing as many chicks as they like, even on the same day…. If you’re not hip to the facts, according to CNN:

A son fathered by Arnold Schwarzenegger with his housekeeper was born less than a week after Maria Shriver gave birth to another Schwarzenegger son, according to birth records obtained Wednesday by CNN.

The New York Times, citing two friends of the family, reported the mother was Mildred Patricia Baena, who worked for two decades as housekeeper for the Schwarzenegger family.

The former California governor acknowledged Tuesday he was the father of a child “over a decade ago,” but he did not identify the mother.

So.. Obviously, he was tagging up on both of them at the same time…. I’mma let Robbie Nevil handle this one:

YouTube link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGtf9QfITQw

The ‘problem’ I have with the situation is that that’s a sucker move, telling a chick you’re exclusive with her to get her to lay down. That’s like one step above paying a prostitute. That’s not sporting. :/

I mean.. How do you feel about yourself when you spend all this time and energy, attaining a position of power, and then you can’t do what you actually want to do with your life? o_O

What’s the point of attaining anything in life at all? If you want to bang the housekeeper, bang the ******* housekeeper. I don’t see what the problem is.

You bought like a Porsche or a yacht or a mansion because you felt like it, right? How come you have to sneak behind your woman’s back and hook up with the hired help?

Nice Life.

Discretion

If a chick doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut about the fact that y’all are hooking up, she’s either worthless or a liability. Neither one is good.

One of the benefits to hooking up with the hired help is that she’s already on the payroll.

You’re already paying her to do things for you, so all you have to do is extend her job description.

You’re also already paying her to keep her mouth shut. You don’t want her blabbing to the tabloids about what goes on in your house when she’s mopping the ******* floor, so discretion is pretty much built-in if you decide to start screwing her.

This is one of the reasons people like Charlie Sheen specialize in hookers. If you hook up with random groupies, they’re going to have your business all over Facebook before you wake up the next morning.

That’s one of the differences between celebrities and regular dudes. If you’re a regular dude, chicks deny giving you some to their very last breath on this Earth. If you’re a celebrity, they’re bragging to their friends about whose **** they just ****** as soon as they can wash their hands and pick up their Blackberry or iPhone.

The hired help isn’t going to do this to you because she wants to keep getting paid. She knows she’s living lovely. She also knows that she would have hooked up with you for free, anyway… Like, if you would have met her in a club and pressed up on her, she would have been like “But Where Does Homey Sign? :(“.

Invisibility

If you’ve decided to go the sucker route of promising an exclusive relationship to a chick and then continuing your single lifestyle as if whatever’s clever, you most definitely need to *NOT* be seen with the chick(s) you’re hooking up with.

Even the most inept cheaters COUGHtigerwoodsCOUGH know not to be seen chillin’ in public with ‘extra’ chicks.

This is why the hired help is useful for sex. You have legitimate excuses for being alone with them.

Your wife goes on a trip? hehe SOMEBODY’S got to take care of the kids, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be YOU. >:D .. A few PlayStations and Xboxes scattered around the house, and the maid’s all yours for as long as you can tap that.

If you happen to be seen with her in public, like, at Wal-Mart or something, nobody can say **** to you, because everybody knows she’s your housekeeper.

Relativity

It also kind of helps if the chick is busted compared to your wife.

^^^ What she looked like around the time Arnold got her pregnant ^^^

This is the move, because even if someone tries to imply that you’re hooking up with her, the peanut gallery’s going to shout them down, saying “Look at his wife, and then look at her… There’s NO WAY he’s tappin’ that, sunn. :/”

This same type of bias is the reason that there are no Asians on television and why you never see a story about someone busted getting killed on Dateline.

It’s always “How could this happen to the cute, pretty, beautiful whomever? :O” as if ******-up stuff never happens to unattractive people.

So.. Yeah.. If you’re going to hire a maid, make sure she has the type of body that turns you on, but her grill is sort of irregular, and you’ll slide right under the radar every time.

STD Issues

Another problem with hooking up with groupies is that… well… they’re groupies. \o/

That means that you and whomever else they’re jocking right now can get some.

That means that whatever they just caught, they can pass on to you quick fast in a hurry, Flavor’s vision ain’t blurry.

Arnold went for the double fail-safe by boning a chick that was already married.

Married chicks, for the most part, aren’t out on the dating scene, so all you really have to worry about is if her husband is cheating on her, passing HER something that she passes YOU that you pass YOUR WIFE and then you get busted for cheating 14 years ago instead of recently.

On top of that, married dudes tend to get lazy and not sex their wives properly, so she’s easy pickin’s.

So, it’s really the best situation, evAr. The chick works for you, she’s sweating you, you’re already paying her, she’s down to give you some, she’s not dating anybody, she’s proven she can keep your business out tha street… on top of all that, she knows that if she acts like she’s clean and she’s not, she gets fired, so she has even more incentive to tell you the truth about that.

You’re still a ******* IDIOT for hittin’ it without a condom, but at least married chicks that work for you are pretty much the best deal you’re going to get.

Flexibility

I’ve never been married, because I’ve never met an attractive female Billionaire that was any good at SOCOM:

However.. There are a lot of situations where once a gal gets married to a dude, she feels like, er.. she doesn’t have to be that Hawt Chick for him anymore.

This is a blatant error, ladies. :D If you think your husband got married to you so he could feel LESS turned on than when he was dating you and/or engaged to you, you’re wrong.

There’s a very good reason why strip clubs, whorehouses and porno will never go out of style.

Never.

So, if you go that route, and the hired help is still trying to be that Hawt Chick for your man, you “might could” get cheated on.

Granted… This probably doesn’t have anything to do with Arnold’s situation, because a) his wife always looked better than the housekeeper, and b) the kids popped out less than a week apart from each other, so he was obviously still enjoying hooking up with his wife while he was banging the hired help without a condom.

Still.. The fact remains that while the hired help may not have graduated from MIT http://alum.mit.edu/www/billcammack/, or, actually, any college at all.. Your husband might hit it if she’s willing to “drop it like it’s hot”, and you aren’t.

Gettin’ It In

Ultimately, the problem here is what I’ve always said the problem is.

Since guys know what the game is, they’re willing to fake it to get chicks to do what we want them to do.

You want to be my girlfriend? fine.. My fiancee? fine.. My wife? fine… And then I’m going to continue doing whatever the **** I feel like doing until you get hip to the game, which may be never.

What happens if you find out?.. Nothing. \o/ .. You bounce, and then I can spend even more time with my other girlfriends… Peace in the Middle East… Don’t let the doorknob hit’cha where the Good Lord split’cha.

Unfortunately, people will continue to be amazed and surprised that some dude was screwing other chicks when he claimed he wasn’t.

There are some guys that are only physically attracted to one woman.

There are other guys that will hook up with any gal that turns them on.

If you’re suspicious, leave your sound-activated baby monitor video camera in the laundry room, or wherever you suspect your man’s gettin’ it in with the maid.

Also, make sure you check his glove compartment and fishing tackle box for condoms… Although we found out from Arnold that your man might not be using them with the next chick anyway.
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